Mellocean

@Leo Gura Have you tried no-fap? If not, why not? If so, why? How did it go, if you did? Did you find it to be helpful to your work?

I’m not sure why my previous post got locked, but.. I have so many questions about porn: - What is the limit of porn when pursuing awakening? - Why is there a negative connotation with porn? - How can porn be healthy? - At what point is porn use unhealthy? - What are the limits of porn? - Why is porn demonized? - Why is sexual practice in any form not talked about very heavily in spiritual & enlightened teachings?

Can you have a career as a pornstar whilst also being enlightened? Can you awaken as a pornstar? I mean in the sense that you do porn. That doesn’t mean you have to be famous necessarily.

@charlie cho Consider that there’s value in every perspective.

I think it's important to acknowledge that porn is only bad with a poor mindset on it. Try watching porn without shaming yourself or judging it in any way. Take away the problem of the content by changing the structure. Porn is just like anything else, it's the notion & understanding of it that drives its corruption. This of course isn't to say that porn is very healthy for someone who say; has primarily only known porn since puberty. If you can change your view of porn, you can not be harmed by it, & you can use it more wisely. A good quote to depict this: A man who can reform himself, can reform the world - Paramahansa Yogananda

Found this on tinder, I think I found an ideal match

@RendHeaven Exactly. Its really a question of; is it harder in life to have a bigger ego or a smaller ego in our modern world? As of right now, considering all the most powerful collectives in the world, I’d say society favors a bigger ego. Though there are less-popular exceptions. Because of this, I’d say attractive women have it easier than attractive men (for now. It will likely flip on & off between genders overtime). It’s all a balance, while one gender may have it easier in one area of life, the other gender may have the very opposite.

Immediately when I saw this, I thought: "Are you kidding? If you're a pretty woman, you just have to wait. You're not expected to go initiate anything. Your ego is inflated heavily by cultural norms. It's an ego's bliss." In this way, society is very favored towards the heightening of a woman's ego v.s a man's. While it favors both, a woman is favored more. Look around you, most beautiful women nowadays have the biggest ego. Men do too, but it's not even close to the same. When's the last time you heard a woman admit she was wrong in a debate. There are mature women out there, but it's not predominate. In our current culture, women have it easier. It favors them more than a man. For god's sake, a woman takes priority in most every situation throughout our cultural norms. Men are the side crumbles. A good portion of women nowadays lack so much maturity & have such an inflated ego, that they are disappointed that they're even attracted to men. I haven't heard one immensely popularized idea from men to say "We don't need women, men are all that we need to prosper". Yet this has become a satiric popularized idea amongst a big portion of women in it's opposite. How big of an ego do you need to have, to disband an entire gender because of how much praise you get (from that very gender)? This is not to say it's right or wrong. It's just to say that it is the case. And of course, a lot of this is only a biased perspective of mine. Don't take it too personally, that's not my intent.

@Leo Gura Have you ever done masturbation for a good amount of time whilst in the abstention of porn?

So the unhealthy part is really a matter of; if the masturbation comes from ego or not...

Shame & overall harsh self-judgement. Without these in the way, there is no failure, only learning & acceptance. I've found this to be extremely fundamental. How ironic that one does extremely well sexually without an ego. Which is originally believed to be the very root of what initiates sexual desire.

@kinesin Shit. I was really hoping the content of the the porn won't matter, only your mindset on it.

@Ella Can't wait to be you in that regard.

@kinesin So the negativity associated with porn may just be the harsh-judgment & shame that is indoctrinated onto it from culture? @Leo Gura Have you tried abstinence of porn with continued masturbation?

@EnlightenmentBlog Thank you, I can see I've been avoiding these options.

*Slight Rant* I've been addicted to pornography for close to a decade now. As much as I try to abstain from it & pursue women, I've always failed. Does anyone have any suggestions as to what to do? So far the options I've tried are: - Abstaining from all technology for several days & failing after roughly a week, I've been trying this for years now. - Buying a KSafe & putting my phone in there for extended periods of time. - Removing distractions on my phone. - Deleting all my social media It's starting to spiral out of control. While I was once doing slightly better after practicing masterbation abstinence, I now am doing even worse than when I started trying to remove porn from my desires. For example: - I now consider drawing hentai myself & possibly running my own porn website - My fetishes are getting more impractical as the porn-viewing continues - It's gotten to a point to where I'm fooling myself into paying for porn The interesting thing is, I'm not generally disappointed with the content itself. I'm just annoyed & confused as to why I'm affected so poorly by it. It seems that when I view pornography, I seem to lose a lot of my self-awareness & I become a lot more egocentric than I'd like to be. I become more careless & bothered by inconveniences. I've noticed when I have successfully abstained from porn for a good while; my confidence, my charisma, my self-esteem, & my overall sense of being becomes optimal & lot more healthy. I can more easily flirt & develop healthy relationships. As a bonus, I get annoyed because I'm a very good-looking, smart guy. I have options, I just don't pursue them because my headspace is so cluttered & screwy from my fears & insecurities possibly due to porn use. I've only been with about 6 or 7 women over my entire life (In my mid 20s) & while they were emotionally healthy, they didn't last more than a month each, if that. And that's my own doing. My point is that: porn is seemingly causing me countless problems with my self-development & it is furthering the halt in my immaturity with relationships. As I get older, I become more annoyed with this. I only have so much time to replace my bad habits. At some point, my habits will become a lot more concrete & I'll be more likely to give up out of discomfort. I want to fix this problem as soon as I can within reason. I already don't have that much experience with sexual relationships or women in general. I don't know what to do. Right now, I'm considering selling my smartphone & just buying a flip-phone & an iPod shuffle. My goal is to be finally unaddicted to porn. Any suggestions/recommendations?

@Gili Trawangan I do understand that, I just fear the eventual outcome of the relationship with a woman whilst I'm still in the midst of trying to leave pornography. Pornography's got me all fucked up on what type of relationship I want. I've been told that abstention for several months to even years is what it really takes to regain your sense of sexuality & self-awareness. What am I to do with these women I'm approaching, if not to just disappoint them with my abstinent lifestyle?

A little self-analysis from my first post: I feel like if I wasn't judged so harshly by myself & society, I would have no issue with porn & might even have no addiction to it either. But that's too impractical to consider for society as of now, so something must be accepted. How do I stop judging & shaming myself so harshly for something? Answer: By understanding WHY you're judging yourself. And how am I to do that if I'm in the very position that favors the downfall of its growth? You see, my ego is an expert at delusion when it's entrenched in pornography.This is where it thinks its striving & happy, but it's all an illusion created by itself. How does it see past it's own delusion?