Cathal

https://suttacentral.net/an8.19/en/sujato?layout=plain&reference=none&notes=asterisk&highlight=false&script=latin patience and the continutation of practice wherever you are and less about your mental proliferation from the conditions you find yourself. read my post on the insights on practicing at home vs a wat (monastery) it is very much important one practices within themselves to get established not to be constantly sucked into the conditions that arise being in unwholesome environments. thats why the Buddha made it so clear the Sangha is so essential we all struggle with this

nothing

@newbee Psychedelics are like pulling a trampoline up against the prison wall that is the self jumping up and down one can see the immaterial boundaryless reality, or to put simply 'reality as it is', but it's just that, an endless jumping up and down. Meditation is the real game.

Absolutely on the case of Jung from what I read, he seemed to touch an intelligence and an understanding of how to go about touching that intelligence in how he described the indivduation process, yet one thing I've seen is one can be entirely consumed by mental proliferation of the content of consciousness and to what end that goes can be endless. Let us remain understanding the goal is Self-realization and the end of suffering

TLDR: If you've only ever practiced alone in your house, try going to a monastery/wat for at least a month (or what is most relevant to you, eg. ashram) to practice it's a pretty big boost to insight and experience across a whole lot of dynamics of Self-realization, mainly I've come to realize the reason spiritual progress is so wonky is sila, being stuck in unwholesome social conditions, this is fundamental especially for users who rely on using drugs to feel free in social environments so i thought i'd post here. "I like it but I don't crave it I dislike it but I don't avoid it this I is one who is free" Here is what I came to see after 3 months inside a Monastery. Enjoy. After about a year of practice alone like a hermit in my studio apartment I remember at a time where it started to sink in that I couldn't go on this journey alone and it became obvious I needed real guidance, community, like-minded people/other spiritual seekers to talk to and share with and I knew early on this was way more important than pushing longer hours or some other delusional idea. I grabbed a backpack and took a bus from Scotland directly to London, and found myself being accommodated for 3 months in Amavarati, a forest Thai wat in the tradition of Ajahn Chah located in Hertfordshire. I knew nothing of this place, carrying only the advice of an online Dhamma teacher, Dhammarato who visited it almost 30 years ago, my heart wavered a bit to discouragement but I had a lot of trust in him, so here I am writing this 3 months later. Some insight and story being there: The most no-brainer and important thing here that i've come to realize being at a wat, being around people who really practice sila is that without a good foundation of sila (morality) I was endlessly going to be disturbed by my socially paranoid monkey mind each time I entered any social setting. Sometimes it feels like I really haven't left high school here, sometimes it feels like I'm still an angry child blaming my family for everything and the need to project that pain or shut my mouth and remain miserable, put on a big persona to fit in, it's kind of wild to see how much judgment and criticism resides inside of you on the level of just feeling when you begin to let go of the story constructs around them, it's just a simple i like and i don't like this person - for what reason?! it was obvious how important this was, it was fundamental. A lot of the time being alone and online, that didn't seem to really ever rise to the surface so I concluded sometimes I had ‘detached’ and let go of a lot things over the years, I always this barrier of safety and cocoon with online communication (forum's, servers, video chat etc...) . I never really understood how defiled my mind was, how being around others kept triggering the same old patterns that I didn't even know still existed, the same hateful, sad, jealous, conceitful, validation needing character just came and came and came and I was vulnerable, and it's being vulnerable that I was confronted by layers upon layers of these many characters popping into conscious laying inside of your unconscious, and in my unskillful ways found very difficult to dis-identify with. Actually living with 30-40 fairly like-minded people with whom I talked with, eat with, practiced with and shared with proved to me in order for me to understand how I am conditioned, I have to confront it, people are really just reflections of your own delusions for the most part, lighting up all the old dark corners, the basement left for 10-20 year it all comes out. I had both the constant cycle of guest's coming and going to long term lay-residents, to practitioners to see these 'personalities' pop into conscious for a visit And in an environment catered to spiritual development you begin to see how much you just get played by your environment, that you simply are a product of your environment - that you are basically a slave to the cultural conditioning you’re brought up in. Amavarati is a really well constructed place and it will force the devil up onto you that simply wants to be lavish in selfish desire, “Huh?! Washing dishing every morning, I came here to do my meditation!” I found that a very important thing to see in my face. Being here 3 months or so, I've gotten to see the many layers o f desire in which I habitually escaped into to avoid feeling of all those things, so it felt like they're just always there on play in the backround lurking on me from the darkness of the subconscious waiting to strike in moments of weakness. I really struggled here, I was torn between two worlds, when you put a stop to desire you really see it does run the show like I was being pulled by two strong horses opposite ways and I was going to rip apart. I began to crave material things like never before, despite being so dissatisfied my mind made resorting to old habits making the simplest things appear like crack candy, now I see for most of my life, I was just a hungry ghost more or less. I was to prone to my own bullshit and I equate it like trying to see the outside of the very box you're trapped in, the misguided 'I/me/mine/self' maker, the ego - defilements, delusion, which again it became obvious the more I practiced I needed some outside eyes to help me see what I was unable too, it wasn't so much even asking for someone to point a finger or fix my problems but putting myself in choiceless situations where, the choice of bullshitting myself no longer existed and I had just to follow the steps without crying about what I did or didn't like. In Amavarati, there are about 40 overall monks and nuns and the abbot (Ajahn Amaro) who himself would be sitting in the sala in the morning and the meditation hall right after the meal everyday where you can talk openly about whatever you want. I cannot stress how even a 5 minute conversation and drastically flip your perception and views on things that may have been driving you insane for years. The actual wisdom and experience of these people was undeniably invaluable. Being fairly involved with various online communities, forums, weekly video chat calls, talking to online teachers and so - on I began to notice on one hand, this was nice. I enjoyed it quite a bit, I felt a sense of having people to practice with, to share my struggles and inspirations with, guidance and to gain more insight - having the internet means unlimited access to whatever Dhamma I so needed, but relying entirely on me and the internet proved to be not what I really needed. Intuitively I knew I was very stagnant, not truly pushing myself, half asleep in the dullness of practice, settling with going through the motions of my 1 hour bell timer, not truly here with the here and now because whenever things got hard I had a mountain of distractions, whenever I had a very unpleasant mind state such as anger, boredom, dissatisfaction the gross and subtle layers of self-deception took over and to emphasis - Ah social media! Ah video games! Ah another podcast! Another new teacher to learn about! Another book! Another movie! anything but the long drawn out days of practice without the sensual experience here at the wat. It's really not so hard to fulfill yourself with desire and practice than practice and practice then practice some more. It's really here I got a taste of beginning to push up against those barriers, days where you actually have nothing to turn to, it can be really intense I must say. And speaking for myself, I knew deep down this was not going to work. I could not just sit at home and make real progression on this path surrounded by all of this seduction I was constantly being lost in and more aligned with being free and more content. To confront myself, I needed to get away from it for a while. I have a deep sense that it is better to practice away from these things for a little while, the next time you handle them they will likely less swallow up your less developed mind - that was my logic to it and so far returning back, it has been totally true. Even so, I found myself many days drinking a lot more tea, adding another few spoons of sugar, finding another new book to distract me, oh god anything to distract me... But slowly you get this feeling of drifting towards content with what is, a few minutes later you might find a dissatisfied mind seeking an object to plunge and penetrate itself into, but you again return to that contentment knowing it's really not a big deal. But at least in my case, those emotions can be really overwhelming, it's that 'this is too much' feeling and 'I need a break' voice appears. I really needed a nursery, a mind training school, a re-conditioning center... That's really all this wat was in a nutshell, it is simply a re-conditioning center. The people really rub off on you and it lasts, it stays, it is like seeing another version of yourself who is a bit more awake than you and equally show you what not to do, those grumpy monks uninterested in the Dhamma or the strange ones preaching to you and so on, there is so much to see, so much insight into the human character. And a note on seeing dana (offering of almsfood) was a kind of eye-opener to the prospect of sharing. Each day a large buffet of offered food was there for me, nothing asked for in return, I would walk past the dana table almost daily and see quantities of food keeping the community running. It's really that quality of sharing and giving, non-attachment, merit and acts of virtuous that touch you and make you remember how good and pure it feels to just give. How funny it is, that you feel so much more free. I really feel like there is no bulls*** here, it's just a real quality Dhamma centre that I don't think anyone can't benefit to a degree from. Whether you want to remain in total silence and practice day in and out or have a chat with spiritual companions and an adventure across some english countryside, it’s really an easy going all-inclusive kind of place that allows everyone to come by and test the waters a bit of really simple living.

@Raptorsin7 Go ahead then, you can travel down for a day or a few weeks in December if you'd like. Winter retreat won't begin until early Jan. Well, those 10 day retreats are not really going to change lifelong habits my friend tis quite a journey to tame ourselves haha

@Raptorsin7 My next step is to remain watching this present moment unfold haha. I've been at home for a week. It wasn't a concern I just accepted it was going to be a real test to continue to renunciate and practice under unwholesome conditions, it's a struggle in one way but man am I grounded. The one thing I miss is being surrounded by other people practicing, that's the real issue. There is a good reason the triple jewel is such a big deal in Buddhism, to find and be and practice with our spiritual friends is really truly as important as the practice itself. The logic was to spend some time away from these sensual things that generally consume and own us to better train the mind to not let them cause us unbalance and suffering. And I am super glad for myself I did that and highly recommend to give it a go. Really cool man when are you gonna be in europe? you can apply anytime you want except during the upcoming winter retreats (in the forest thai traditition) - I recommend either Chithurst (near the scottish border) or Amavarati (near London) if you're in the UK. Just apply via the websites, you can stay for up to 3 months at a year. There is nothing to pay for.

@Jenkins what was it about your life that made you smoke 1-3g a day?

Most people really assume depression is something they'll fix with a diet or treatment or routine, you may spend a few years in that loophole of externalized western problem solving conditioning. The truth about most cases depression is when you make life about the concept of yourself and the extent in which you get suffocated in your own limiting beliefs and fall into a stuckness or a kind of pattern of life where there is spontaneous activity, no expanse of exploration or creativity and you naturally become depressed and more and more dead inside

@Shiva99 the feeling of life confronting you is basically a massive kick up the ass to make you see how much shit you need to work on. it is not to hurt you, it is to wake you up from how trapped you are in the patterns of a conditioned mind out of touch with reality. contemplate, rethink, reframe your values and try to create a life that is aligned with what you REALLY value. that's all. it is your own inner development that will free you and no one will ever save you but yourself find a group of like-minded people and if you can't get yourself to do that begin with a therapist

yo

RAD has reopened again after the holidays for any1 with financial issues; https://youarerad.org/therapy

I wanted to make a video that is more targeted towards: joe at mcdonalds who wonders why the fuck he's still working here after 30 years nancy who works at the supermarket wondering why she wanted to work at a supermarket alexander who thought getting an accounting degree and a house would finally fulfill him jimmy and stacy who had a kid and thought they would no longer be depressed That was essentially trying to captivate the attention of using psychedelics to understand yourself in the sense of making people aware of how conditioned they are and how deep they are in patterns, I think western conditioning is far too enslaving (for most of us) to ever wake up in any sense at all especially though conventional methods like meditation/self-inquiry, I wonder if you guys could really project yourself before you had some kind of spiritual awakening in your own shoes and try to watch this video from an unbiased perspective and tell me does this make you want to explore yourself? And if you had not had a spiritual awakening, I hope this stimulates some kind of curiosity inside of you

@VeganAwake sure but you are out of alignment with the very nature of what you are. which is ever changing unconditional giving, that which gave rise to the fact you can even write such a message right now. the thing is, you wouldn't say you would eat a cookie sitting on the grass beside a starving child, yet it is happening all across the world you are just not confronted with it in your bubble of comfort, and you'd rather sit in that bubble than help ;p true? - pitfalls can occur even in the most beautiful wide open meadows

@VeganAwake that is the very freedom that allows you to act in the framework of what you are, unconditional love. that is the whole point of liberation, it is not to sit around glorifying liberation to be constantly in flux with reality itself, the spread of unconditional love through involved action

@mojsterr man i can already see where this conversation is going, i have seen what you wrote and you are just emotionally attached to an opinion. it's pointless all i would say is if you actually cared about human beings you would stop eating meat, either way that shit is going to become as socially unaccepted as slavery so whether you want to slow down or progress humanity is your choice

people just backwards rationalize to avoid feeling guilty for doing something they know is wrong - they just can't give up the comfort of eating meat for the suffering of those beings because they just don't give a shit and that's all, if you brought any of them to a slaughterhouse they would burst into a catharsis but hey it just is what it is, for sure the world is going in the right direction though in that sense

most i would say 99% people aren't really psychopaths, they just life in a comfort bubble of an echo chamber where there innate human capacity for empathy and compassion is basically dormant in favour of the conditioning of individualism which is the source of why so many 'psychopaths' seem to be around. it's just how it is if i put a starving child in front of you your empathy would hit you like a drug no matter what you believe about yourself or your emotional state

@VeganAwake the question is though, how far are you willing to go out of 'your' comfort zone to help others/yourself in need? that's the true test right there, and then here comes a billion lies to bullshit yourself HAHA. it's how it is

@Tim R if you were awoken to everyone is you, wouldn't you want the best for yourself? the thing is with people who got this insight as a realization within themselves, the best thing to do either way is work hard on what it is you're attached to that prevents you from seeing that as a reality, day to day, it's not about helping others because that's some bullshit identity stuff, besides the insight its not yet the reality so it's really just meaningless. that is the most compassionate thing to do i think, to do the real work of detachment. naturally it comes to you to help 'others'

@Vagos i meant in the sense one could be they a side effect of discontuination although it's unlikely it is something 'permanent' (talk to someone about that) but 8 weeks with no usage, maybe it's just that you need to give it more time after that time period of usage. it just might be the case you are where you are supposed to be. I mean, in life, in your journey or whatever. This is the reality without the inclusion of external forces changing your chemistry, maybe that would be hard to swallow but if that ends up being true you can accept that and begin to understand it psychedelics won't really change anything too if this is your intention, it will make you feel a bit more free for a while if microdosing and you will definitely feel like 'this is working' but it will just leave you where you're at now, not seeing the truth in underlying issues, but essentially what i'm getting at is, if my original perspective ends up being true for you then it's better to use psychedelics to understand why you feel unmotivated in life. just a perspective to hold in mind from my own experience

what are you trying to fix with these drugs?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vDpDhofRoXA&ab_channel=IvanBalogović

"Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it" - Rumi