spiritual memes

I guess what I'm trying to say is that the definition of alpha differs depending on your stage of development. A stage orange person would see a materialism and selfishness as alpha traits.

What you're describing is the ideal stage purple/blue male archetype which is quite interesting. A lot of stage orange would disagree with your definition.

@Tyler Robinson I mean I agree with you, but he does fill most of the traits you listed...

Damn, guess I should have listened to Tate after all...

I mean we already have Andrew Tate who is by far the pinnacle of healthy masculinity... I'm obviously joking in case you haven't realized...

Quite a few of these are red flags and signs of insecurity...

Holy shit, a fellow Porter Robinson fan!

I hear earth is a good place to look if you want high value women...

When I started this work, I was desperate to improve myself. I was unhappy with the way my life was and I knew I couldn't blame anyone else. I knew that I was the one manifesting my reality. I was tired of not being good enough. I was frustrated at my inability to do what needed to be done and to get the life I wanted. I was frustrated at my social awkwardness and my passive nature. I was bitter and resentful from constant rejections from the opposite sex, and I felt guilty and ashamed for feeling this resentment. I always felt like I wasn't masculine and dominant enough and hated my 'nice guy' nature. I felt completely alone and unloveable because of the innate way I was. I blamed my mind for the way I was and I started this work because I wanted to change. A lot of this work has helped me, but I still had these parts to me underneath the surface that would hold me back from the person I wanted to be. After about 2 weeks, of IFS therapy, I no longer see my dysfinctional parts as broken but as parts trying to protect me based on programming from my childhood. I realized that I was treating my traumatized inner child with the same harsh judgement that my parents, teachers and bullies did. In my desperate bid to prove my critics wrong, I had internalized their voices and directed them at myself. Well I'm done doing that. I deserve better.

I'd like to offer a different perspective. If i was so mentally fucked up that I was raping, killing and torturing innocent people, I would want someone to end my suffering instead of keeping me locked in a cage for 40 years. The death penalty is euthanasia since you would have to be in such profound states of suffering to resort to killing people. From god's perspective its like waking yourself up from an extremely fucked up nightmare.

I managed to reach my exiles responsible for low self esteem. This is the part of my inner child that was made to feel like he wasn't good enough and so these feelings of inadequacy was repressed and formed the foundation for many of my behaviours. For, example much of my motivation for self improvement was to improve myself so that I no longer am inadequate. In fact, most of my life is built upon correcting this feeling of inadequacy, from my desire to build confidence, to my gym and bodybuilding and my career. Even my motivation for spiritual work is to correct this feeling. This might just be the root of all my insecurities. After doing some integration work, I no longer feel some of my overactive protector parts.

Not sure if i enjoy having this kind of empathy . Having too much empathy for others can be detrimental once you realize just how much suffering and fucked up shit is happening to people. The world goes from a beautiful dream to a nightmare.

After seeing some mexican drug cartel videos, sometimes the most compassionate thing do is to put a bullet through their brain to end their fucked up dream. Theres beauty in executing a psychopath so that they can't hurt more people.

For some reason, I went on an online binge of the worst atrocities committed by humans. I was reading and watching footage of war crimes, murders, and executions. After watching the most horrific cartel executions I decided that I should probably stop watching this content as I'm pretty sufficiently scarred. I decided to look within and confront the part of me that wants to look at this kind of fucked up content. It seems to be a firefighter part trying to protect me. Since the world is a fucked up place, this part of me wants to be prepared for all the depravity in the world rather than be caught off guard. Therefore whenever I see a link saying 'don't watch this, its too fucked up and disturbing', I immediately get a compulsion to click it. Because the idea of something disturbing but unknown is terrifying. Therefore, this part is protecting me from the unknown by forcing me to confront the horrors of reality no matter what. That being said, the shit I've seen is fucking bad and I'm pretty fucking scarred.

yeah, when I had my awakening I laughed at my fear of death and all the suffering in the world because it was all just an illusion

I mean, both are pretty horrific. which is why the radical implications of oneness is so disturbing. Because I'm going to experience all of it.

That makes sense but its still pretty hard watching an ISIS beheading and knowing its me. Does this mean I completely experience the pain of the victim or I'm just imagining it? or somehow both?

@Tyler Robinson yeah sometimes i chug a glass before meditation and it kin of helps. But I'm thinking this is some kind of emotional/spiritual thing as I'm going though quite a big inner transformation.

Recently, I've been noticing some really weird bodily sensations when i meditate. In particular, I feel a tightness around my throat area that makes me gag a lot. I also feel extremely hot from the inside, especially my palms which can get so hot to the point where they feel like they're burning. But in general there is a super tight energy in my throat area and it sometimes feels like a tingling there. Anyone have any tips?

I'm starting to reach my exiled parts now. They're difficult to describe and put into works. It feels initially like trapped energy in my lower body that my upper energetic body is trying to suppress. There is a protector part located below my neck that is trying to suppress these energies. Its doing this to avoid emotional overwhelm i think. There is also another pretector part that is trying to distract me from the emptiness inside me. But from my psychedelic trips, I know that emptiness is infinite love.

@Breakingthewall Yes im well aware of that, its more of a compulsion than something logical.