Rishabh R

As I completed my masters degree in college ,I had flashbacks of painful memories where I was disrespected, treated inferiorly , faced social as well as romantic rejections. However, those memories are begining to fade. For example when I used to join Google meet for just interacting with friends from the earlier days of my college. I was treated inferiorly by girls because I didn't used to talk about adult content, sex etc. openly.Boys in the call made remarks such as they will have sex with my future wife. They bullied me. After Google meet I used to feel some sort of pain in my head. Around the same time I watched actualized.org's video - How modern branding exploits you and then I told them to not to call me for joining the video call. I had a bit of argument with that girl who initiated bullying me. However, after that they never called me for joining a Google meet. I also told the other girl later I mean past 2-3 years that I was hurt and then she said sorry. After we transitioned to offline , I had to leave my hometown to relocate to other city. I was literally shocked when I reached college. I saw many relationships in my life but at the age of early 20s people were getting intimate and at the level which I was never exposed to. It also made me super jealous as I never had a girlfriend despite hitting on girls since my school days. I also experienced people saying to me that - You don't have the capability to get a girlfriend. Guys manipulated me by threatening me , treating me badly in front of girls etc. While I saw guys going from one girlfriend to other and girls also similar. I was extremely jealous. So I began approaching girls in my campus and approached 58 girls. I found that few were interested to talk to me. I stopped when a guy threatened me for approaching or talking to his girlfriend. He abused me. In my college I was also amazed that guys and girls used to smoke cigerette. However, I never smoked or drank. My friends used to laugh at me watching self-improvement videos and at my contemplation answers which were written in my diary. Leo was right, in his avoidance of truth video. People will not take you kindly when you are facing truth , even relative truth . They are going gaslight you and pull you into their fantasy and their delusions like crabs in a bucket. As per girls, tiny amount of them treated me fairly while most of them first rejected me and then dated someone else. They used to call me in their hostel room and say that they have girls in their life and brag about their dating accomplishments while cautioning me to not to talk to girls. What I learned: Learn to walk away from people who don't respect you or who talk rudely to you. Be it guy or girl. By the way not everything which happened was negative . Yes I didn't get a beautiful girlfriend which I wanted but here are some of the positives: -I didn't fail in any of my college papers(I studied engineering) -I read 11 self-help and philosophy books in an year or little bit more -I increased my meditation capability from 1 minute to 20 minutes -I learned acceptance of negative emotions which used to bring smile to my face in the midst of suffering -Failures rarely affect me these days as I learned and practiced growth mindset -I learned to walk away from disrespectful people -I learned that most people show their accomplishments in life not their failures which is opposite of authenticity Finally, I am trying to internalise this perspective for overcoming jealousy - It doesn't matter what other's are doing what matters is weather I am taking action or not. Thank you.

I was hesitant to post this but I completed my masters in engineering with 77.6 percent with my grade in final semester being 9 SGPA out of 10. Thanks.

Thanks.😂 Today I am travelling with my father to another state in my country for the PhD assesment as I have been shortlisted for it.

@Applegarden8 I am putting effort for getting into a PhD program in Molecular Biology.

@Leo Gura Yeah life is filled with horror and extreme suffering. For example like I couldn't sleep at night properly due to the fact that how poorly girls treated me in college , rejected me , abused me , their friends , boyfriends threatened me also those girls bullied me and told me to study instead of dating and they themselves dated immature guys. Even though this suffering is just a tip of the iceberg. Being on antidepressants since this incident first happened to me in highschool to over and over again. Even though the only thing I can do is just reframe those negative situations and take action.

@Leo Gura Have you read the book Xenophon : Conversation of Socrates ? While I was reading this book it was mentioned that Self-discipline was better than Self-Indulgence and Self-discipline makes people happiest. To what extent you agree with this or what your experience tells ?

I was hesitant to post it because my mind was tricking myself by moving the goalpost forward😂. I want to become a Molecular Biologist or a scientist in the field of Biotechnology. By the way it is great to hear that you have huge potential to bounce back. I have upcoming PhD entrance exams. As per reframing failure it is one of the most important tools of personal development applicable in real life even though other tools such as acceptance of suffering , focussing on being mindful etc. are important too. Reframing failure also ties in with the growth mindset where failures are seen as opportunity.

Try to sit with a pen and copy when you are studying the subject that involves more than theory. For theory subjects try to think through what is being written in the subject matter. Also, try to reframe every failure you encounter during your degree. All the best.

I just studied by trying to read each and every slide. Whereas , my friends cheated and have the exams I didn't cheat even in an single exam. Besides studying I was also proactive in answering questions in my classes. The secret to success is to stop looking for a secret and start reframing every failure which I stumbled upon for example every low score which I got in an exam etc.

@LordFall I got a job offer but I turned it down and I have my upcoming PhD entrance exams. @CARDOZZO My research topic was gene cloning of plant virus. Thank you everyone.

I am also not an American. I am Indian. All the best to you too.

@Leo Gura Challenge accepted. How about this one .Since proof is infinitely imaginary God is also infinite imagination. For example when one is arguing with another person and trying to prove something to that person and let's say that no matter how hard they try they cannot prove them which they are trying to , so they are going on and on. With the person trying to prove a certain thing but since two persons live in a different imaginary reality in their head. The person trying to prove something is coming up with sub-proofs to their proof according to their imagination which goes like an infinite loop in their head Thereby, with proof being imaginary one is trying to prove God such as an orthodox religious person trying to prove to an atheist about the existence of God. He can go on and on with the imagination of God implanted in his mind from which he can derive his proofs as opposed to the atheist have different imagination and the atheist arguing from his imaginary world view from which he can anchor his reality based on infinitely imaginary proofs.

Can I try ?

@Leo Gura As per singularity can it be inferred even in non-awakened state that you are already singular as whole as well as even you on the surface appear distinct from the universe you are connected to it on a more fundamental level which takes thinking, intelligence and contemplation to to see ?

@OBEler Yeah there are different versions of Leo. Some versions more good than other , some more direct, some indirect.

Ok then you are doing great.

Absolutely it's mind blowing.

Congratulations! But I was talking about the fact that acceptance of suffering also takes practice .

I hate the forum version of Leo and like the video version of him. His videos have expanded my growth to tremendous hights and they are great. Even the latest one.

Oh really, thanks.

Yeah, it's very difficult and trust me it takes a huge amount of practice.

@Leo Gura 27 minutes passed by watching the video and when I thought about your first proof by pausing the video a little I realised that reality is one as everything which divided is connected to each other. On the surface two things seem divided but there is a deeper connection between the two which is beyond the surface. For example a water bottle kept on one end of the table and a diary kept at diametrically opposite end of the table on the surface they may seem two separate objects but both are connected by the air in between them and every object is connected in the universe to other object even though it might sound imaginary to some but like two cars with a string or the brain activity may seem distinct from the external environment but actually the air connects the brain and the environment deeply. If object X exists then Y exists and both are connected so they are one. If both exist they both have to be connected otherwise either Y would exist or X would exist that would be still one. Am I going right Leo ? Must I keep going on thinking about this ?

Leo more practical self-help stuff to master survival paired with increasing the quality of one's epistemology . Also , as a person who is meditating since, 5 years I find it difficult to meditate consistently daily and the same goes for contemplation . Can you give a feedback ? Even though I have the key to my problems.

@Leo Gura But what about when one is suffering due to some sort of failure. Is it wise to accept suffering? which I recognized in my experience it lessens the power of negative emotions. And also it is distinct from reframing , however reframing is important as it motivates you to act. Which way to go either acceptance of failure or reframing of failure ? Also , are episodes based on shadow work , hope coming in the near future ?

@Sugarcoat You can practice it consistently which will eventually make you feel more better over a long period of time.