College: A lesson in self-respect

[Rishabh R]

As I completed my masters degree in college ,I had flashbacks of painful memories where I was disrespected, treated inferiorly , faced social as well as romantic rejections.

However, those memories are begining to fade.

For example when I used to join Google meet for just interacting with friends from the earlier days of my college. I was treated inferiorly by girls because I didn't used to talk about adult content, sex etc. openly.Boys in the call made remarks such as they will have sex with my future wife. They bullied me. After Google meet I used to feel some sort of pain in my head. Around the same time I watched actualized.org's video - How modern branding exploits you and then I told them to not to call me for joining the video call. I had a bit of argument with that girl who initiated bullying me. However, after that they never called me for joining a Google meet.

I also told the other girl later I mean past 2-3 years that I was hurt and then she said sorry.

After we transitioned to offline , I had to leave my hometown to relocate to other city. I was literally shocked when I reached college. 

I saw many relationships in my life but at the age of early 20s people were getting intimate and at the level which I was never exposed to.

It also made me super jealous as I never had a girlfriend despite hitting on girls since my school days.

I also experienced people saying to me that - You don't have the capability to get a girlfriend.

Guys manipulated me by threatening me , treating me badly in front of girls etc.

While I saw guys going from one girlfriend to other and girls also similar.

I was extremely jealous. So I began approaching girls in my campus and approached 58 girls. I found that few were interested to talk to me. 

I stopped when a guy threatened me for approaching or talking to his girlfriend. He abused me.

In my college I was also amazed that guys and girls used to smoke cigerette. However, I never smoked or drank.

My friends used to laugh at me watching self-improvement videos and at my contemplation answers which were written in my diary.

Leo was right, in his avoidance of truth video. People will not take you kindly when you are facing truth , even relative truth . They are going gaslight you and pull you into their fantasy and their delusions like crabs in a bucket.

As per girls, tiny amount of them treated me fairly while most of them first rejected me and then dated someone else. 

They used to call me in their hostel room and say that they have girls in their life and brag about their dating accomplishments while cautioning me to not to talk to girls.

What I learned: Learn to walk away from people who don't respect you or who talk rudely to you. Be it guy or girl.

By the way not everything which happened was negative . Yes I didn't get a beautiful girlfriend which I wanted but here are some of the positives:

-I didn't fail in any of my college papers(I studied engineering)

-I read 11 self-help and philosophy books in an year or little bit more

-I increased my meditation capability from 1 minute to 20 minutes

-I learned acceptance of negative emotions which used to bring smile to my face in the midst of suffering

-Failures rarely affect me these days as I learned and practiced growth mindset

-I learned to walk away from disrespectful people 

-I learned that most people show their accomplishments in life not their failures which is opposite of authenticity

Finally, I am trying to internalise this perspective for overcoming jealousy - It doesn't matter what other's are doing what matters is weather I am taking action or not.

Thank you.

[Max_V]

Sounds like quite the journey.
Be proud of yourself, seems like you've come a long way.

Good stuff!

[Rishabh R]

@Max_V Thanks. Yeah I have come a long way.