Rishabh R

@Inliytened1 I don't know about future but I have been alone in the past and haven't felt the need for having a girlfriend sitting beside me I mean I was just jealous of other people having relationships but now as per my perspective I have realized these 2 truths- Going into a relationship to fix loneliness is a terrible idea.( After I came to know that people go into relationship to fix loneliness) Secondly - Those who walk alone are strong while those who walk with others are weak.

@Inliytened1 Being alone is good. Many people run away for it. Man, I have remained single my entire life .

I would rather dare to challenge that assumption. Why many people settle in lon term marriages ? Why many men stay single ? These are questions worth contemplating.

@Inliytened1 So you transitioned from quantity to quality. That's great.

@Joseph Maynor Yup and also I would suggest that one thing which is very counterintuitive that can resolve this problem to a large extent - Acting despite feeling fear/anxiety.

@Inliytened1 Great . Men must be authentic with other men first and that gives confidence which bleeds to other areas of life including dating ,career etc. Domain specific confidence leads to border confidence. No the other way around . I think that's what you want to convey ,right ?

@Inliytened1 I appreciate your efforts man. Even I don't know you personally and you are years elder than me by looking at your profile . But yeah your working for a better cause . I mean your work has the potential for cleaning up the forum for the better . Just ensure that everything revolves around honest ,transparent communication.👍

@Inliytened1 Ok no judgement here from my side . I mean it takes courage to post such things on an online forum even asking about these things to men who are stranger to you without being disrespectful . Appreciate it .

Yup I enjoy the vulnerability of this thread.

Where I have reached : Many girls have approached me in my life , including one girl who was the crush of whole batch (when I was in college ) . I have approached more than 100 girls in my life up till now ( cold approach and warm approach combined ). Hot girls have complemented me - One stated you are very handsome and many other experiences including rejections.

@Inliytened1 Yup I'm single,virgin and never had a relationship in my 25 years on this planet but I enjoy this thread .

I can proudly say 0 to above questions and the post .

I would look at actions of the woman to determine her values since actions are values made real.

@LordFall Nope dude I have observed the opposite I mean not opening like that directly but first starting from basic interaction then expressing your honest thoughts for which I noticed is that it filters out high quality women from low quality women . And then when your are in a relationship with her then adding value.

That's true but vulnerability deepens connection, which in itself a value. Expressing yourself honestly to other people is the key not outcome. By the way once you are in a relationship then investment is necessary but it must not compound into over investment bypassing self-investement. What's ironic is that 3 years ago after a harsh rejection from a girl when I confronted her and her guy friend who threatened me she told me that I was a cry baby after telling that I was hurt by her. As per pity sex, I never had any Sex. @Ramanujan then tell me honestly what you have gained from watching ToddV (one of the top contents on attraction on YouTube ) if you didn't applied it . Without action thoughts remain thoughts or just bunch of illusions in your mind.

@Ramanujan Argue with me dude I'm from a Biological sciences background. I had a similiar thinking years ago which made me miserable but guess what - I was wrong . Until and unless the female conceives the sperm nothing is gonna happen out of that sexual experience no matter how many men she has been with. Also you I have found out that I care about body count but it said things more about me rather than women since, quality of relationships matter not quantity . But most people choose quantity over quality and that's why they suffer . Example - If you are a desperate guy for getting sex you focus on become an alpha male and attracting huge chunk of women will not make you happy but rather much more miserable. Rather taking the counterintuitive root by focussing on the quality of women and treating honesty/vulnerability as your compass, even if you get rejected and ended up single you will be fulfilled . Observed many men and even women falling into the trap of chasing validation and treating getting a girlfriend/boyfriend as achievement which made them miserable after their breakups. I fell into the same trap but I was lucky since I never had a relationship but I was vulnerable which I didn't recognize and when I look back at my past I feel happy,can proudly say that I lost many women due to being vulnerable but it was worth it since those women were insecure ,needy and immature themselves. Finally it's your life @Ramanujan do what you want - either shit on women by talking trash on this forum or got out and take action then again talk shit about women or use forum as well as real life as an opportunity for vulnerable interactions. ( Hint : Third will fulfill your more than any single girlfriend or girl can do for you )

Nope this is partially true. As per genetics the chromosome of a child has 50 percent maternal and 50 percent paternal trait .

On the point. 🎯

I have experienced through pain that attributing success to your actions is wiser than attributing success to other people's actioms,external results . The former is counterintuitive and produces the paradoxical nature of success I mean more durable one whereas the latter one produces flickering or fleeting success . I think chasing success is itself the root cause of failure. Chase discomfort which would generate success and happiness as a by product .

@LordFall I have heard of it but I find self-help/philosophy books more interesting .

@enchanted Yup bro great share. What I have realized that in career or dating that taking action never betrays you .I you take action and fail - you will fail better. If you take action and succeed - that's great. If you take no action at all even if luck hands you the lottery of your goals it won't be worth it and would be more miserable than taking action and failing. Recognized this before my matriculation ( class 10 th exam ). Procrastination is a stagnation engine .

@Natasha Tori Maru ❤️ . As per at the 3 different stages of reading the book I remember that first I used not giving a F--- while reading the book 1st time , then 2nd time I learned that acceptance of suffering is better than avoiding suffering ( this was a life changer for me as around the same time I discovered Acceptance and Commitment therapy ) - basically I was jealous of a beautiful girl at my college dating one of my friends who mistreated me. Anyways now she is married to someone else. The 3rd time I learned that caring about something important is necessary and it must be healthy or as per the book internally controllable and not only that it must be acted on rather than sitting and thinking ,talking about that I care about this ,that. Now I have made a values alignment tracker based on the book using Claude ai. Here is my track record. I update it almost daily after noticing my actions. Appreciate you too.

I have read it over and over again and loved every bit of it. ( more than 3 times) And I can proudly say that it improved my life. Looking back at my life even though I am still young now , I think that my choice of value was good but my measurement of self-assesment was wrong and it made me suffer. I used to compare myself with people who dated,had a relationship,posted on this forum that girls rejected me and then dated other guys( which happened for real ) , but those rejections were not due to the fact that I was less attractive than other guys but rather I was vulnerable. I misunderstood myself to be inferior to other people who had relationship experience ( which is victimhood narcissism per say according to the book ). Now I realized where my un-confident feelings were coming from - it was not behavioural ,it was thought oriented which I challenged later on. Now a these days rejection stings me but it doesn't stop me . Sort of like - The desire for a positive experience is itself a negative experience and the acceptance of a negative experience is itself a positive experience . I saw a recent example of this in my life recently and many others in the past.

@Miguel1 I think that the marker of authenticity, vulnerability is initial nervousness and expressing yourself despite it as compared to performative authenticity which doesn't involves actual risk or nervousness .

Yup it happened to me and I saw majority of people doing it instead of practicing truth or honesty or vulnerability .