Rishabh R

@Mellowmarsh Yup it's fake. Studies have shown that it's highly exaggerated version of what happens in real life .

@felixk_priv Great. I mean it fills me with excitement having conquered a challenge and gives me related feeling even though it doesn't last. And it's a deliberate act in which I engage with the challenges over and over again. Few months back I was not retained in the training program but now I have a job and id much better. I mean this quote from Kung Fu panda 4 is great - You never know what you can do unless you do it. Once I reflected back at an year and realized that I underestimate my own potential. Action is the key which let's you know your potential not theorizing .

Listening to Music.

@Emerald You're insights are great . I mean I fell into this trap of pickup or per say being a player in order to get a girlfriend. My main issue wasn't that I wanted a girlfriend but I was jealous of girls having relationships even though I am a man. This happened to me in college. I had a terrible dating life in college or say no dating life . My batchmates were going from relationship to relationship. Also the relationships of which I was envious none of them lasted. Also I failed to take this insight seriously that I was already vulnerable. And yup a few girls were attracted to me. While performance based pickup can get you girls but honestly vulnerability can lose you girls who are not good for you. Most guys choose the performance based pickup . But the latter is kernel of wisdom and fulfillment even though it can get you no dates or relationship.

Challenge the assumption that you can't date or get laid . And also act despite anxiety I mean even those people who get laid have some form of bitterness towards women. Including me too. But I regularly question my hatred . That's half of the problem. And by the way keep going despite pain of rejection.

Sorry @Asia P today I realized today that I lied to you regarding this . By the way I do apply this rule few times while facing disrespect from my relatives however I have made my values more important than their respect or disrespect .

@Rafael Thundercat Ok but I am already over it and what let me get over the rejection is that sitting with the sting of rejection rather than escaping it .I am antifragile.

Got rejected yesterday by a former girl classmate of mine after having a vulnerable conversation. I have been talking to her since 3 years. I expressed myself honestly to her despite nervousness. The rejection stinged but later it became ok. Yup @Leo Gura is right based on his avoidance of Truth episode . The seeking of truth will sting. However , I also realized that the sting lasted briefly . And also as I accepted it the sting reduced. @Miguel1 Yup you are right ,being vulnerable hurts but as per Leo's - How to get Laid series allowing your true to get rejected is better than putting a persona. Nope I was already vulnerable with her by expressing myself honestly to her multiple times. Like she asked questions about me . Even though she used to reply late but she responded with multiple messages to me even when I messaged her once on WhatsApp. In real life she waved hi to me multiple times. Pulled me by my arms to show a YouTube short and helped me stand against a guy bully. I expressed honest compliments to her.Told me to meet her before leaving the city but circumstances didn't allowed our meeting. Bye.

I underestimated my non-fuckery after a harsh rejection. I mean when I was rejected harshly by a girl , I stood up for myself - faced threats ,cruel pushback. But I moved on. Later I rarely paid attention to her and guess what she approached me twice asking questions each time. Later again I was worried that I will feel bad after seeing her with her make best friend but guess what - her make best friend engaged with me in a respectful manner and I didn't gave a Fuck about her and it's liberating.

@Inliytened1 You have unlocked this thread and started a chain of thread within the thread. 😂 @Mellowmarsh Yup I saw that you locked your DM. Hope you find someone on the forum or in real world .

@Asia P Same experience with my relatives. I apply a general rule by asking myself - Are their opinions worth giving a F--- about ? Most of the time answer is - No it doesn't matter.

@Joseph Maynor Rishabh . You follow me as a connection on this forum.

@Joseph Maynor Congratulations in advance for you.

This in the form of self-compassion is important. As per self- worth keeping it detached from self-worth is indeed the cornerstone of healthy dating .

But you can be with time and effort .

@LordFall Achievement part . I mean it lead me to a lot of dark places which included huge deal of emotional suffering ,eating antidepressants ,going to a psychiatrist when I understood getting a girlfriend as achievement . When I stopped treating it such my neediness dropped and I realized that I can't control weather someone will like me or not.I can only put myself out there and that's all .

Asper confrontation @LordFall I have noticed that it's better to engage in conflict and move on rather than avoid or supress it.

Ok that's maturity backing off is maturity. Since we are from the - Actualized.org team.

I don't agree with this. I agree with this . The confrontation part .

@Inliytened1 Ok ok even though I disagree with you but I appreciate the fact that you acknowledge me being virgin single in the begining and that's ok. @yetinetiI appreciate you too. Both these men are different they have different perspectives ,life and all.

@Ulax Nope I don't dislike sexual topics but I am concerned about confrontation. I mean people on this thread are trying to participate in a sexual arms race.

@Inliytened1 All the best man.

And guys I have noticed that this thread is getting more disrespectful not to women in general but also to men . I mean - Sex is not an achievement - it's alignment guys. Stop treating it as such.

Ok that's fair but even if you don't like someone atleast you talk to them in a respectful manner. I mean don't give them the feeling of disrespect .

@Inliytened1 But women complain about this place a lot . I mean not only that but you can engage in healthy dating / relationship discussion. Also I noticed something unusual about your behaviour earlier you used to be more active on other sections on the forum but why such as sudden shift lately . Are you ok ?