something_else

This has got to be one of the biggest things that a lot of guys should to learn to enjoy. And also realise just how much women enjoy it too. I've always been a little serious pretty much just due to lack of socialising for my late teens, but I've been on a few dates recently where the back and forth flirting and progressive escalation was legit some of the most fun I've ever had in my life. A lot of the pickupy posts here are really serious, theoretical and intellectual. Like I'm by no means an expert but that's not how you learn to flirt and have fun. I guess it works for some people, though.

Reading your post it doesn't sound like anything especially bad happened but it does seem to have taken a huge toll on your emotional state. As someone totally detached from your situation this is my condensed impression of your story: 'Undoubtedly she is into you, it sounds like maybe you're not that into her, which is fine.' Doing things you haven't done before like this is gonna make you feel weird because there are all sorts of emotions running through your mind, you're probably also still a bit pumped up from facing a situation you were scared of as well. If you're still in school, this is pretty much how all relationships at that age go btw. The stereotype of high school relationships being flaky, awkward and drama-filled is very much based in reality, you're just experiencing that first hand now Finally I'll just say: this^ is totally normal if you go through big changes in your life. And you didn't run away from this date, you faced it even though you were scared. That's how you grow. You're doing the right things, you don't have anything to worry about. Being scared sometimes is natural.

Programming of some kind is probably your best bet. I'd recommend web development, it's pretty easy to learn as far as programming goes (I'm a web developer rn) and can feel somewhat creative which is a nice bonus too. If you have 1-2 years you could build up a pretty nice portfolio which is far more valuable when applying for web dev jobs than say a degree. You're probably best off picking a single web framework to master, if Python appeals to you then Django is what you'd go with. I'm currently working with PHP using a framework called Symfony which really neat, but generally speaking Laravel is the goto PHP web framework if you want to cast the widest net. And then of course there are also the frontend skills, which would involve learning JavaScript (again, pick a popular framework like Angular or Vue and stick to it) and CSS/SASS. Most of this you will learn if you just pick sufficiently complex portfolio projects, decide which frameworks you're going to use, and then see them through to completion. And finally, don't go for things like code bootcamps, they're generally terrible

Heh, good luck. Hahaha, you've had all the hard work done for you. If you're alone with her in her room you have the ability to get super close to her, you're literally lying in bed together already, just be confident and start making moves. Get close to her and see if she's into it. If she is, guarantee you guys are making out in 10 seconds flat after you start escalating and you'll both wonder what the hell you were so nervous about I've felt this exact feeling a handful of times in my life (I'm pretty young as well, only 21) and every time I've felt it and then pushed through and gone ahead with whatever I felt like I had to escape from, I've not once regretted it

I mean it can't hurt. If he hasn't messaged you by now he may not be interested, or he may just be shy. You may as well text him and see what he says

I'm bookmarking this thread so I can re-read it on days when I feel like I haven't experienced enough cringe

@Karmadhi I mean, there are literally infinite ways of sparking emotion. It's difficult to learn how to emotionally stimulate by having a logical discussion about how to do it, or by giving logical advice. It's something you just need to learn by practice. Broadly all of the well known attractive traits generate emotional stimulation: leadership - makes her feel like she's on an adventure with you, confidence - makes her feel safe around you, humour - removes negative emotion like tension, and so on

I made a cringy comment about going upstairs. In hindsight I should have just kissed her then and there and let things unfold naturally. Suggesting going upstairs was clunky and awkward and the exact wording I used (which is remaining secret ) was cringy af. But nonetheless it worked because there was tension and attraction, and low expectation because we were both young and nervous. Point is, you don't need to think too much about what you're actually gonna do beyond the initial escalation if there's already clear attraction. If there's attraction and you make _some_ move things will start to happen. After the initial escalation and things get even a little heated let your instinct take over and things will just sort themselves out

If you're both a little inexperienced/nervous you can get away with some cheesy and awkward moves Dear god one of my cringiest memories is how I escalated on my first date with my first GF, very similar situation, watching a movie at hers, was a first time for both of us. The movie ended and I had no idea what to say, but there was attraction and both of us were nervous as hell so it just kind of sorted itself out, even though I wasn't the slightest bit smooth lol. Got a 2 and a half year relationship from that

@ertopolice As in emotional stimulation? Guys who can stimulate emotions in women usually have a lot more success with women

@Karmadhi I mean, there's no reason you couldn't make that style work for you you. It's far more to do with how you say something than the actual content. Which has been said a million times, for good reason

@Karmadhi Why is an intellectually stimulating conversation any more valuable? Like 95% of the intellectually stimulating conversations I've had with my close guy friends has been lost to the void by now. It's completely pointless too Guys just happen to be able to extract more emotional stimulation out of an intellectual conversation than girls do (on average ofc), but it's still all about the emotion rather than intellectual content But being able to influence people's emotional state is unbelievably powerful which is why girls find it attractive. It's also incredibly fun for guys too if you get some good rapport going

Would be nice. Having said that this dynamic forces quiet guys to develop their social skills which is no bad thing

A few people here saying that wanting to regress into red is bad, well yea. But you can still learn valuable lessons from it. What you want to take from red is individual strength and independence. There are tons of healthy ways to do that. Face some of your biggest fears, go travelling/exploring to new places by yourself, climb mountains, go on treks, lift weights, learn a martial art. Basically you want to do things that stop you from becoming a total softie. But you have the advantage of being developed to a higher stage so you can find expressions of red that are healthy and balanced.

This is a trait shared by pretty much every dude on here looking for dating advice, myself included hehe

@Marcel I legit think this is one of the most important things to learn to notice, especially when it comes to any kind of socialising. It's soooo soooo easy to start overthinking and overanalysing everything and it can start to destroy your mental state and waste a lot of your time

Viewing yourself as superior, too good and too 'deep' for others is no way to make friends I used that tactic to cope with being shitty at socialising in school for years, it's not healthy. The average person has far more depth than you give them credit for, what you lack are the social skills to bring that out. As do most people, myself included Learning to deeply relate to people who you feel are superficial will grow you enormously, but it requires you accepting that you're no better than they are

Basically, you just have to deal with it and move on, yea. Kinda feels a bit shit but you'll get numbed to it after a while. It's very difficult to come back from being left on read without seeming needy unless you already have some kind of rapport

@hamedsf do you not see the irony here

@Kel Varnsen Kind of yes. I suppose it depends on your reasoning. The argument of 'don't take the vaccine because it's got technology implanted by the elites to control you' or some other similar levels of wackiness is definitely paranoid conspiracy theory stuff. Denying that the vaccine is relatively speaking safe also inherently requires you to claim you know better than the tens of thousands of experts who were involved in designing/testing it which is approaching conspiracy thinking too. I can see a good argument for not taking the vaccine if you're young since it could potentially be riskier than COVID itself to you, that was my opinion originally, but I changed my mind and got it because it just didn't seem like something worth sticking my heels into the mud for. If it wasn't safe then there would be some real indication of that by now beyond some rare side effects which are to be expected. If I saw some evidence of the danger of taking it I'd reconsider. Why don't you think it's safe to take?

You'll have to elaborate here because I have no idea what you mean I respect you for that. Unfortunately what you're claiming can hurt people. When asked to justify it you claim you have some evidence but can't be bothered sharing. And then you blame others for not being open minded towards your idea.

Speaking of 'out of window', do you also believe that you can fly if you jump out of one? Willing to try it? No? So closed minded. Unacceptable. *sarcasm*

@Leo Gura Hahahaha, sorry, I was being sarcastic. The real crime was wasting my time mocking someone for having those beliefs in the first place, it isn't worth it, but it is fun

Because Google, of course, is controlled by the same small group of elites looking to make sure you never find out about the mRNA body modifications we're all being injected with designed to destroy our bodies so that we can no longer effectively produce value for them. Obviously. Now there's a good idea for a Gru meme

Jumping off a cliff = certain death Taking COVID-19 vaccine = ???