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A lot of this can be explained by the way the age boundaries are drawn. Many women aged lets say 25-29 are dating guys who are aged 30+. Hence you end up with statistics that, when looked at in isolation of 18-29 year olds, look very skewed. Yes, there is probably some element of attractive guys in that age range dating multiple girls, but in my experience it's pretty rare for even attractive guys to lead multiple women on at the same time into thinking they're actually dating. Usually they're pretty open about it being casual because they don't need to put up a facade of commitment to get what they want There are probably other factors influencing this too, but another that comes to mind is that there is more societal stigma for women who are single later in life than there is for men. So they're more likely to lie when surveyed.

You have to ask AI to be brutally honest about matters of dating to get a real answer, or it tries to paint a fairytale picture because it's trained not to hurt your feelings.

Yea. This is why when you hire a photographer to take dating photos it can look a bit weird. I've seen guys with profiles like that (and a lot of photos like that on photofeeler if I rate dude's photos) and it looks very fake. Like business portraits rather than dating ones. Having one professionally taken profile shot in a cool place that makes you look hot is not a bad idea, but don't fill your profile with them. You can take staged photos but they still need to be in a circumstance where taking a photo makes sense because you want to remember the moment.

It might be appealing to a certain niche of women but I would say it's probably not appealing to the majority. It's kind of 'male' humour if that makes sense. Guys will think it's funny but women will think it's odd or not know what to make of it.

Depends if I can be bothered waiting. If I just want a quick check to see if the photo sucks or not I’ll let dudes rate it too because it works so much quicker. But obv it’s not as accurate of a rating

I would say the site is a good test to make sure that photos are not bad, but it's not always the best tool for finding great photos. For example I've had a few photos rated 9.6 in attractiveness on that site which did terribly on dating apps. I think part of the issue is that photos are rated on photofeeler in isolation but on dating apps they're viewed alongside other photos and the context of your bio. And also, the women voting on photofeeler aren't necessarily the same women swiping on you on dating apps. On photofeeler they're from all over the world and likely also represent a subset of women who are struggling on dating apps too. As a general rule if you want to use this site, I'd say that you want: photos that are rated above 8.5 in attractiveness photos that aren't rated too low in trustworthy/smart at least a few 'very' votes in the attractiveness category some comments saying "I'd date them" or something like that I've found the comments to be the biggest predictor of dating app success tbh.

She had a dance class booked and you think she should cancel it to spend time with some guy she barely knows? That's giving off extremely controlling vibes. She's not telling you that you're not important, she just has something else booked. Be chill about it and arrange another time to see her in the future.

That is literally what real confidence is. Confidence in yourself is knowing that even if things aren't guaranteed to work out, you believe that ultimately you'll still be OK. Even if it's slightly delusional, thinking like this will take you to better places than pure pessimism will. Socially this is certainly the case. People who are optimistic beyond all rationality are generally more enjoyable to be around than people who are dreary and pessimistic. This is an evolutionary trait, the people who were always negative about everything will drag the group down, and so they tend to get excluded more. It's pretty hard to be 100% or even close to 100% confident about anything worth doing in life. All the good shit involves a lot of uncertainty and risk. People who know how to manage risk and uncertainty tend to be much more successful. Of course not. But you don't really know what is and isn't surmountable.

"I might try and fail, so there's no point in trying at all" I'm sorry to be a bit rude, but this is such a terrible mindset. If people think you're a loser, this kind of thinking is probably why. Not your genetics or anything else you blame. Primarily it means you're more capable of dealing with problems and setbacks in any endeavours you take on in life. If you have experienced lots of challenge in your life and always managed to come out on top, then you are far more confident with yourself when dealing with future challenges. If you try to remove all challenge from your life to make it as easy as possible then the part of your brain that knows how to deal with difficulty basically atrophies, and you become a husk of a human.

I did the same as you in my first relationship. I ended up with her for 3 years, and it basically set my social development back 3 years while I was in university. I should have been partying, meeting lots of people, and having the time of my life, but instead I was sitting at home watching Netflix with someone who I felt kinda 'meh' towards, but who I stayed with out of insecurity. I would not recommend this path for you.

Humans are not so simple and rigid that we are either hard or soft, masculine or feminine. We have a complex set of traits that change depending on our surroundings. The same person can be very masculine in some scenarios and very feminine in others. Part of being a balanced person is knowing in which scenarios masculine energy is most useful and in which feminine energy is most useful. People who are too masculine apply masculine energy to every situation, even where it's not appropriate, and this causes a lot of hurt for them. Same for femininity. Balanced people know when to be masculine and when to be feminine. They aren't mutually exclusive traits. All the shitty manosphere role models talk and think in this binary way, whereby you must be masculine or you are a pussy bitch. And that should tell you something about them. It is pure fragility of ego. Healthy male role models have a balance of masculinity and femininity, because a balance is what you are aiming for in most of life. You're not aiming to become hyper-masculine at the expense of femininity.

It's not being 'too feminine' that's the issue for most men, it's a lack of healthy masculinity. It's an important difference. Masculinity and femininity are not on a spectrum whereby the more feminine you become, the less masculine you are. Having feminine traits can actually get you laid like crazy btw. Some of the sensitive guys I've met are fucking animals because they know how to connect with women so well.

I mean the first one that comes to mind for me is that most women can't safely walk around on their own in many places after dark. In general sexual assault is a massive problem women face. They're also taken less seriously in most business/work contexts. Much of the effort of household labour is also placed upon them, even when they're working full time. There are plenty more, but it can be summarised quite nicely as: Women are viewed as precious objects, while men are viewed as disposable agents. Men enjoy the privileges of agency and women enjoy the privileges of being seen as valuable by default. But men also suffer from being treated as disposable unless they prove their worth, and women suffer from being treated almost as though they are children, with no independent thought or competency. Neither side is very aware of the drawbacks the other faces, they only see what the other gender has that they don't. This is the dynamic that causes almost all gender wars.

You're painting a very rosy picture of what life is like for women, but they have their own set of challenges that you aren't super aware of. The grass always looks greener on the other side.

I'd say go for it. Life is too short to worry about stuff like this. If it sucks and you hate it you can always move back, but if you never move you may regret it for the rest of your life.

If you trauma dump on someone that's obviously not attractive, but it doesn't mean you're not allowed to be vulnerable as a guy. Showing a certain amount of humanity can be wildly attractive. Most women know that showing vulnerability is often stigmatised for guys, so if you find an elegant way to do it then it can come off as extremely confident. Talking about struggles with social anxiety and how I overcame it is weirdly one of the things that has worked really well for me, which goes against most traditional pickup advice. --- I'm not really sure what to make of the lady in the post, I get the sense she's twisting the truth a little for the sake of the story. It's hard to tell. I'm also not even really sure what her point is to be honest. It feels like she's trying to make a broader point about men in order to shift any responsibility off herself, but can't work out exactly what that point is. Her point about guys not asking questions is not a gendered thing. I've got plenty of experience of women doing the same. Some people just don't really ask questions, it annoys me too and so I agree with her on that point. I also know that there are plenty of guys who do ask questions on dates, so if she's not finding them I'm inclined to believe she has to take some of the blame for that.

It is kinda needy in a sense, but you need to reframe it in your mind. You're not moving somewhere to get laid, you're moving somewhere with better prospects to build an amazing life for yourself.

Just watch his most popular videos on YT. They’re all veryyyy manipulative and very subtly but potently pushing you towards giving him money. I don’t doubt he makes some good points, but overall I very much agree with you about Owen. Idk about the other RSD dudes as I haven’t seen any

Be sociable, be interesting, don't be too much of an asshole, don't be too nice/meek, learn to escalate from friendly talk to flirting.

I had a cool experience in a recent trip where it felt like I could acutely experience masculine versus feminine energy inside me through tensing muscles vs relaxing muscles. If you tense all of your muscles as hard as you can right now, that's a fundamental expression of masculine energy. If you totally relax your muscles as much as you can, that's a fundamental expression of feminine energy. This also applies to focusing mind vs relaxing mind. You can transfer this to spirituality as well. Masculine forms of meditation usually involve focusing hard + contemplating while feminine forms of meditation are more about totally relaxing your mind and letting it wander. Neither is better than the other, they're just different approaches. I think the most fundamental insight here was something like "masculine = spending energy, feminine = conserving energy". I don't know if conserving is the right word exactly, but hopefully it's clear what I'm getting at.

I put 100-1000 because that’s probably how many women I’ve talked to with some flirty intent. But most of them weren’t really cold approaches. Mostly it was random girls I kinda just bumped into and started chatting to while in sociable places. Idk if that counts as a cold approach

Everywhere has pros and cons, but ultimately any big European city will have pretty good options for dating and partying. For example, Scandinavian countries have exceptionally pretty people but they’re also much more introverted on the whole and don’t tend to mingle as much as other countries. That can make it really hard to make friends or flirt with people. They’re also really expensive. I was in Germany recently and I really loved the vibe there, I found it pretty easy to meet people too, so I guess if I had to recommend a country I’d say that.

I’ve had a few weeks here or there where I’ve partied a fair bit, maybe almost every night. But it’s pretty hard on your sleep pattern and on your body in general. It’s better just to make some friends and go out at the weekends to have fun with them and then maybe the occasional weeknight

What's Pure Dance?

What is the all important question? What is the difference?