Gianna

Because it reflects themselves back to them

oh my goodness? I find it inspiring and also saddening, so a weird mix of emotions. But animals are such great teachers. The way they reflect reality..

Okay so she doesn’t want to go. She actually said she would rather die than go (she’s dramatic). Haha. Oh my god I love her. But she’s more afraid than I thought. She doesn’t like the idea of large-sized hands on us in comparison to our small body. It’s like she’s picturing a reality of a man who can wrap his hands around the entirety of her body and throw her against the wall. Idk why she’s imagining that, we’re not thattt small. But anyway, of course she’s scared. She’s envisioning someone really tall and large and she’s dismissing all other possible realities of a man. I gave her the idea of a smaller man with smaller hands and she said she would be comfortable with that. She said she would be most comfortable and safe with a smaller asian man (idk why she is saying that). She’s wants the relief of the pressure that can come from a man’s hands but she understands that she can get that same pressure from a woman as well. She said she’d rather have a younger guy but honestly I don’t feel like searching the lagunas for a small younger Asian man so we compromised on this: We’re going to go with the same woman as last time. But we’re not going to make ourselves conversate and when we feel guilty when we reject her conversation, then we can embody god and just be of a witness. And focus on the sensations of our body. She really resents the fact that a man doesn’t have to go through the entire process we just did, but would probably just show up and go with anyone. She wishes we weren’t concerned about our safety in small matters like this; but it is what it is. She remembers a time at university when the entire hall of women raised their hands when the professor asked who was afraid at night walking to their car. Few men raised their hands. The majority of men said that they are really thinking about what they’re going eat. While the women said that they strategizes ways to get to their car and (if necessary) away from a potential attack (pepper spray, hurrying in and locking the car door, etc.) The things these women said that day have never left her. She thinks it’s really sad that our men have traumatized us in history to this point of ancestral traumatization. But she knows it’s all imagination now. But she still thinks about the day where she’ll be with a man and won’t (but probably still will) worry about her safety. Anyway, we’re excited to get a massage! Our first of this year.

Each time I’ve booked a massage it’s been with a woman, which I prefer. But each time those woman have talked to me the entire time which is not relaxing. I want to focus on the sensations of my body. I could just not respond if it happens again. But then I would feel rude and trapped in my head with guilt and that’s not relaxing/focused either. I’m thinking about just booking one with a man even though that makes me really nervous. If a part of me is nervous to be massaged by a man then I can’t do that to myself. It’s stereotypical, but I feel like a man wouldn’t converse, which is what I want. But why does a massage with a man make me so nervous?Does it have to do with the hands on my body? Or the presence in the room? Maybe both. I feel more safe with women but why am I thinking about safety. Why am I making judgments and predictions when I can just be in the now. Maybe I’ll just focus on God during the massage and transcend all thought, judgments, projections. I’ll probably just do that but I’m going to spend some time with the aspect that is scared so I’m not throwing her in the deep end and using god as justification.

@Adodd Yeah he was. haha. Didn't realize there was a difference, that's interesting!

Mhh I love Indian food. I think it’s one of my favorite foods in the world. I remember spending time at this house in Santa Monica, where I used to babysit. The family was from India and they had the warmest, most comforting, amazing home that always smelt of toor dal and other authentically made foods. They were the first ones to introduce me to toor dal and I fell in love with it immediately. It’s just pretty hard to cook especially like the way they cooked it. I feel like there could be a lot of vegan options within Indian foods. Like chana masala, some curry dishes, or vegetable biryani, which I’m pretty sure is like an Indian vegetable fried rice. There’s so much to explore here and my body loves it. I still haven't looked into food subscriptions or booked my massage for my body, but when I do look I'm going to try and find some with Indian vegan options.

@Thewizardking Do stream of consciousness writings for 3 pages every morning. This will purge out your blocks and get you down to the pureness of your creativity. Stream of consciousness means, whatever you are thinking, write it down. Even if it makes no sense, keep writing. Keep writing until you have filled three pages. Whatever comes to your mind, write it down and do not stop to think or re-read what you’ve written. Don’t re-read them at all even when you’re done. Just put them in a drawer and do it again the next day. This technique is called morning pages and it is by The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. If you have time I would get and read that book. If not, just do the morning pages. And it is inevitable that your creativity will shine through you soon thereafter. Also, listen to this sleep sound while you sleep. It is embedded with creative energies to un-stuck people. Your self-esteem is a different issue but I would start with this because regaining your creativity will most likely regain your self esteem because you are an artist.

@SantaMaria ???

Because we experience people in our hearts, we will never actually lose them. Their essence is forever within us. And so we are with them for and in eternity, whether we’d like it or not! You will never truly lose them. So whenever we feel the fear of loss, we need to be reminded of this and of ourselves in this way. Also, your love is what makes these people beautiful. And your love is forever with you. No matter who comes or goes, it will be you that is creating the beautiful and loving experience. So love yourself for love is your self! And even when they do go, they could never actually leave your heart or be forgotten. You will always have all of the people you’ve ever loved within you. ? As far as your dad, I mean oh my god. You deserve safety and protection (which may be why you are attracted to older men) and nothing less! Protection will find you as soon as you protect yourself. Do whatever you can to save the being within you (which means leaving your dad). You deserve a full, bright, loving life, as you are a full, bright, loving being. Sending you love and protection ?

@Tristan12 thank you sm!! ?

???

I remember thinking to never forget. Never forget everything you know, everything you are. The more out of touch you get with yourself, the more you will lose yourself. The further away you are the less you can see. The less you can feel. Oh how we miss our children. The wholeness of being. The joy of self-love and a radically open heart. But as the world demands our cooperation, we disintegrate from ourselves to integrate with others. The thing we told ourselves we would never do, we’ve done. Out of an intense desperation for the love we were ripped from. We split and it cracked our being. Oh the pain of being ripped from oneness and shoved into the harsh reality of humanity. It is a pain we will never let ourselves remember, out of the untenable love we will always and still have for ourselves. As we left the warm, sheltering, belonging of our hearts, those who were entrusted with us could not give us the love we needed. For no love compares to the wholeness of our being. But even as our energy splits, and we are scattered and left with delusion, we could never actually be forsaken. For there is not a moment we are without the love of our eternal being. Within each fragment within us, is the wholeness of eternity. And so just as each shred of paper is equally as bit as white and whole as the one it was torn from, we are as infinitely eternal and loving in every split, every fractal, we’ve ever become. So let these hands be your hands. And my light be your light. Colette Cole, Gianna

Because of unresolved trauma. Both are a reality. And so we expand our minds to hold space for both. I like what @Raptorsin7 says, don’t close your mind. Expand it!

Awe, yes! @Raptorsin7 so perfect.

There is a truth beyond oneness that says there is no one, no one to be one. So when you feel like you are the only one, in this unity that is one, know that you are feeling the energy of no one, that is nowhere to be one. There is nothing but everything, in the everything that is nothing. So just as the isness is not alone with what is, and reality is not alone in its reality, you are not alone with what you are. For what you are is nothing that can ever be alone, because it is with everything that it already is. And whatever it desires to become.

In our human lives, forgiveness is a natural byproduct of healing. It is something that naturally arises when you have found total and complete healing, resolve, purpose, meaning, or (and eventually) gratitude for your hurt/wound. From a god perspective, forgiveness is always thankfulness, for God only sees you as perfection. So there is nothing to forgive, only to thank.

Oh god, there is nothing more painful than that. Yet, it’s a catch 22 because staying in the pain is painful (not letting go) and letting them go is painful. But grief is a lot more healing than resentment, stuckness, and thus anger, rage, I’ll tell you that. You are suffering because you became aware of what is causing you pain and are not creating change. So when you become aware of what’s causing you pain, and do not create change, then all you are is aware of pain. If you’re not going to make change it would have been better to stay unaware. Feeling angry is the appropriate feeling to feel when you are focused on pain because anger comes from feeling powerless. So from thoughts like, “I can’t” or “they shouldn’t have” or “I am damaged” are all self-defeating, dependent thoughts that make you feel powerless and thus angry and resentful. Put your focus/guide your consciousness toward thoughts of Choice. So, “I became aware so now I have choice.” ”Because I now have choice I have freedom.” “I can always use my freedom if I really want to.” “I am not dependent on these people anymore.” “These people hurt me because they were hurt. But because I am conscious of my hurt, I will not hurt. And that includes myself.” “It’s self-abusive to stay with people who hurt me, I want to love myself and when I love myself I will show these people what love really is.” It’s okay to feel resentment right now because it’s healing to purge out the emotion and not suppress it and let it fester. But over time these new better feeling thoughts will give you more better feeling thoughts. And your resentment (after and only after total and complete healing) will turn into forgiveness, naturally. You do not and should not force forgiveness because forced or gaslite forgiveness is not authentic forgiveness. Authentic forgiveness comes from thankfulness, which is naturally come as a byproduct of your healing. But that’s way down the road for you right now. Which is okay and valid.

@Judy2 :)♥️♥️

Mhh, great point! So beautifully said! ♥️

I would say blasphemy in terms of non-duality looks like denial. Denial of your true nature, denial of oneness.

Oh and then we manifest a virus because it is a reflection of ourselves who acts like a virus to the rest of the world and so now our own reflection of ourselves (because we are living in a mirroring hologram) is killing us off which is also not enjoyable. Hehehe???

This is a great question! I would say 70 don’t and 30 do but maybe I’ve just known some unhappy people. ? But it’s also like look at the superficiality of the world.. why would we enjoy living here when everyone is too afraid to show themselves? To open their heart? When we’re afraid of feeling, we are afraid of living. So we have 70 percent of people afraid to really live. Which comes from being hurt once by trying to live because we are not born afraid of life, we learn to be afraid of life. Because it’s not a safe or enjoyable life when most people who make up the society can’t see past themselves/their identifications/ego so now we have an entire society, government, organizations, countries, that can’t see past themselves so we are basically living in a narcissistic world haha. Which is not enjoyable to be on the receiving end of. We act like a narcissist to the rest of the planet so not even the rest of the planet can enjoy life which also adds to the 70 percent.

Boredom is wanting to do something but having thoughts or believing that you can’t do it, so you are bored. Like when you want to play outside but it is raining, so you are bored inside. The thought, “I want to play outside but I can’t” is what makes you bored and sit inside. Because if you had thoughts like, “well I could play outside and dry off afterwards,” or, “I can play inside,” would not make you bored, it would make you play.

Well that‘s fine too. You can start there. Sadness can turn into love, you just have to go deeper. So, “I struggle to live a good life and trying to be a "good" person.” This thought can turn into , “I’m sad because I try to be a good person and still have struggled to live a good life.” Which could into to, “trying to be a good person makes me a good person.. hm.” Can turn into, “What else makes me a good person?” “I am a good person because I try to be good. I am a good person because I try to be a loving person. I’m a good person because I want to be a loving person. I am a good person because I want to receive love. I want to receive love because I want to give love. I want to give love because I love. I love because…” And now you are a match to positive feeling thoughts about yourself and will continue to attract more of them/be able to find more of them.