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@Cireeric Very true. I feel very fortunate in that aspect, yet it feels like older people (who didn't start early) lost it

@Cireeric Exactly! I presume it is in the back of their heads all the time. Who will want to admit that? It sounds stupid and threatening. It means all those years have been for nothing. Tips here and there - sometimes I try to hint to my mom to stop eating junk food and that health is important. Nothing really changes though because I don't think she grasps the value of it. I tried to mention one time to my father that working on himself will help improve all other aspects of his life and tried to show him (without going deep into it) how they are connected, but I don't think he took it so seriously, at least not in practice. But yeah, I don't really talk to them and have no interest in having conversations with them and them interfering in my life

@integral It certainly seems that they will stay like that until they pass away (or at least, for a very long time). Isn't it funny to use the word "survive"? It's funny because it really feels like that. When I'm next to them I feel in danger. Telling them what they want to hear - although it will cause less conflict, I'm still giving my soul to their unconscious control and also I'll easily sway off my track. It is quite sad seeing how many people will live and then die without ever entering this journey

@integral Yeah, so my father has started (well, always here and there but more often now) exercising more, which is a good thing. My mother doesn't exercise though and she sucks the most energy out of me, like I'm trying almost to avoid her as if I'm in a forest trying to avoid danger

@Mosess Thanks for this kind reply They are certainly draining my energy and I must avoid them out of necessity almost. I can't ever imagine them asking me for advice, even if they do notice my growth. They'll probably relate it to luck, very shallow self improvement such as simply going to the gym and joining a group activity (not knowing the deeper work required behind it), or that it is just innate in me. They'll never humiliate themselves to ask from their son for advice, because what does he know already about life. So yeah, I will focus more of my energy on improving myself. I am also not able to talk to them much about self improving, god forbid talking about meditation and all those abstract concepts. I guess the time I always knew was on the horizon is finally coming, where I'll need to start cutting ties with my family. It's very hard though. Not because I really want them in my life, but because I rely pretty much a lot on them. They pay for my things, give me food, a house to live in, drive me, and they understand better how systems work in the country (laws and that)

@Nahm I can't really understand lol When I check for sensation then either there is ( since I'm conscious of it) or there isn't but because I'm not fully conscious

@Nahm Then I just don't understand why you have to mention this part for instance. Why do you say things are thoughts, also in your previous comment. Also, by taking the sensation off I don't exactly know whether I'm consciously taking it off or the sensation just naturally went away like any sensation

@Nahm The thing is that Leo is saying in the video things like "bring up to mind this one who is sitting here, who gets angry sometimes. Now give it you love". You could replace angry with lazy/anxious/has family problems (basically many neurotic aspects). So in some way I do need to bring to my mind the thought of those aspects in me so that I can really feel into them. However, like you said, I'll be focused on the thought and without realizing I might subtly conceptualize the feeling. There is no way that you can say that thought is so useless. Obviously we use our thoughts in many ways, such as communicating. You need thoughts to make decisions and plan your trajectory. I'll let you know once I removed the sensation, but what do you mean by "put sensation on the floor"?

@Tovius

So I've tried practicing it in the session that I've done today but I had 2 problems: 1. It was very hard for me to extract the fabric of 'love' from the sensations I felt (it didn't really feel high like love but I might have had very little bit of thoughts) 2. Even when I did manage to feel the love within the emotions it was very weak and I couldn't hold it for long. I feel that the best way for me to experience it is if I have a powerful loving scenario in my head (however it usually doesn't last for so long). So another powerful way is to rely on compassion and understanding to the different aspects of me, showing acceptance to those parts. But sometimes I get the feeling that I might be splitting myself into 2: one who is experiencing and one who is observing and showing compassion

@Tovius I mean, even if I don't attach thought, I can still feel a different feeling in my body for each one. by 'feeling into emotions' do you mean feeling the fabric of which emotions are made of? You mean you had to wait for a thought with a strong emotional charge to come to mind? I feel that creating those feelings by choice is better than waiting for fluke luck

@Tovius Thanks, however, I was talking more about this specific exercise. When Leo tells me to stir up a strong emotion of love, how do I start from there? It's not as if I'm in the moment feeling something very noticeable, in fact, I don't feel much

@ilkjnkh Yeah but this is what's very difficult. It almost feels neurotic in a sense - to force myself to feel love. I wish I could do it on autopilot

@CultivateLove Kind of paradoxical. The reason I need love is because I lack it, therefore I'm practicing self love. However, in order to start my engine I need some level of self love to start working with. And in order to get this start I need to practice self love... Apparently I'm not so developed as being able to see love everywhere. The fact is that I cannot simply see it. Once I have this feeling of love in place, I've learned that I have quite a good handle in spreading this love to certain aspects of myself and developing compassion to my neurosis

@CultivateLove And also it's not so easy to just think about a scenario that brought a strong feeling of love just like that. Also, it's not as if recycling this scenario in my mind each session will maintain it's love charge

@CultivateLove You mean to imagine just one scenario and then just feel the love from it and maintain it for the whole session? It eventually becomes weaker though.. (btw love your username ?)

So before I've came across actualized.org I've been learning a bit from some stage orange Youtubers and some books. But after having watched some of Leo's videos it almost feels like I automatically outgrew some of those advices with the ones Leo provided. However I don't know if it's the best thing, here are examples: You hear about building your identity and strengthening it by repeating affirmations - when we identify with something we create limitations and suffering You hear about motivating yourself by avoiding pain and being drawn to pleasure - "ego" stuff. It can't be very sustainable I guess You hear about the 6 needs for human fulfillment by Tony Robbins - Those are "requirements" you need to become fulfilled. It is still in the survival state You hear about hard self discipline and commitment to your results - It just causes you to be more neurotic and creates a deeper split within yourself. You are also attached to an outcome I could go on and on... But this creates quite a bit of confusion for me, it's like many paradoxes. Now I might be very wrong and getting everything messed up in my mind. I'm trying to somehow connect the dots between everything I'm learning and trying to find some higher truths. This gets me to fill more stuck. It is hard for me to accept all what Tony Robbins (and other success gurus) is saying and also what Leo is saying. Some of the things seem to contradict each other

@Waken It's hard because of all those resistances I've created because I'm always thirsty for the bigger picture and want to evolve to the highest stages possible. I feel like this is still a Stage Orange mentality I have which I feel is serving me both good and also not so good

@Elevated I mean, there is literally no other way to see the object. There is literally no seeing without light, so we can forget about this sense altogether without light. You could also go further and ask - well, maybe everything here is not real since it's an interpretation of the mind (sounds, visuals, touch)? Maybe those things don't even exist but our mind makes it look like it does? (it is hard for me to believe that). But then you can also ask "what if our minds are actually projecting to ourselves what is in fact real, and not just a mere interpretation? (and to take this question seriously). Even if the conversion is imperfect, how does it help? I mean, how can you experience what might be the real deal behind what the mind is capable of delivering? (We do it through the mind though). I get what you say about having cognitive biases which prevent you from opening your mind to understand things deeper, or to see the bigger picture. So if it will never be perfectly accurate, then what's the point in even talking about it? It's sounds kinda sad lol

@Elevated I understand what you said about Paris, but I can't really apply this metaphor to reality. From what I understood you say that all what I'm experiencing is not everything I can actually experience now? I was reading that like "ok I see, to dive into stage orange without giving it a meaning that I'm better than it, ok" and then you hit with the "while knowing it's all bullshit" haha, this is exactly the problem. It's hard for me to start a business or something like that because I feel like I understand higher things and that "I'm better". I know you can say to take only the important elements of stage orange, but I feel that in general I don't have so much passion for creating a business (in fact, a book publishing business - That's because I've lost passion to publish books on "low stage orange topics" forgive this way of saying but I'm trying to be honest). Don't you get also this weird feeling of diving into something you believe you've outgrown already?

@Elevated How can I have practices to focus on while knowing that it is all bullshit? lol But what do you mean by "the map is not the territory"? I mean, we kind of use maps to navigate through life if I understood what you're meaning by maps. Also, the main issue I was bringing up is about the integration of all other stages since some of them contradict each other. There are many paradoxes, and the more I learn, the more paradoxical it seems. Not gonna lie, it scares me a bit, yet I know there's no way back so I feel stronger. But still I feel the need to resolve paradoxes because it really creates barriers for me to continue with my life

@Elevated But the thing is that the Stage Orange mindset contradicts the mindsets and teachings that Leo talks about. Most of the things that have to do with the ego and deeper reasons for why you aren't fulfilled aren't even addressed in Stage Orange. I would like to earn more money but every time I get this ambitious feeling I tend to suppress it very quickly because it seems "un spiritual", "ego's doing", or anything like that. Taking the good stuff from Stage Orange won't be so much mindsets I guess... Like half of them are self harming and strengthening the ego

@Nahm What do you mean by "adding in perspective"?

Hi, so for a very long time I've been feeling very lonely, and took for me sometime to really understand this. I used to suppress this feeling all the time thinking that one day it will not be like that. Recently I've stumbled across Leo's video of how to deal with loneliness which really really opened my eyes. So I've tried doing it. For the last few days I've been traveling with my bike and practiced being alone with myself for a long time. This is when I truly realized what Leo meant by "connecting with Being". It felt like I'm coming back home or something, like I'm getting back to a truer version of myself which felt amazing. It really opened my mind also to the fact that my ego thinks that having those dreading feelings of loneliness and depression means I need to seek friends, a girlfriend, or someone or a group of people to fill this hole. But in actuality, when I am faced with an opportunity to open up to a friendship I tend to fall back - which made me realize that my ego is really deluding me. The problem is that I am disconnected to Being, which I believe is the real thing I desire, which my ego thinks otherwise. Sorry for going for a little rant, I'm now getting to the point. So I've also always had social anxiety (as far as I remember it started to develop when I was like 12 and now I'm 18). My question is - will this technique of going solo to bask in my solitude help me? I mean, I understand why practicing this act of loneliness can be beneficial, but I've also heard that in order to overcome social anxiety or any fear you must practice facing it. I would like to get some advice on what to do in this confusing situation please. Currently, practicing this loneliness makes me feel more real and like "this is supposed to be what I'm after" feeling which I can't really explain, but I don't know if my social anxiety will go away. Sorry for making it too long ? (this is my first post)

@Loving Radiance lol you just pointed out 2 contradicting things I said. I seem to be tricking myself here. But I still don't have such clarity on what I want to achieve. Even when I do have something that I'm considering on accomplishing then I have those walls of unconscious belief systems, resistance, victim identity, procrastination, and anyway to distract myself using very firm excuses. I'll get to this dream board sometime later. Just started a holiday so I will consider looking into it. Many things that have to do with goal setting, creating a vision for the life you desire, what do you want out of life, and all that create overwhelming in me and I tend to avoid digging into it too much