fopylo

Since no one was home I decided to do it in the dinning table, all alone, with my phone with a timer of 30 minutes. Everything went well but after like 15 minutes my brother came, and had to get up and open the door, then continue the meditation and doing "as if I'm being on the phone" (but actually looking at the timer). Right afterwards my dad came and here and there I said a few words just not to make it look awkward and sometimes I got feedback like why am I looking at him, it just felt very weird. A few minutes later my mom came and now all the family is in the house wandering all over, moving from place to place and I'm just sitting in the dining table with one hand on my knee and the other on the phone with the timer trying as much not to move and acting as if I'm scrolling on some social media (it was so fucking weird lol). At the meantime my brother also had his supper in front of me, my dad was watching tv in the lounge and my mom was heating something in the oven. So many things were happening and it was just so off, anti-meditation environment lol. But I was making an effort to stay as conscious as I can within all this action. I made sure not to judge it as annoying or disgusting or anti-spiritual environment, but let it be part of what's real now. I wouldn't say it was easy to let my mind and attention loose (hell, this whole thing made it super difficult) but I tried to let myself be as if I wasn't planning on being in "meditation mode". I was still making an effort to become conscious of my emotions and my senses. I feel that I've hit a new level of consciousness. I've gone through quite a few changes of understanding the meaning of being conscious. If I want to explain a mathematical equation I am using logic, rationality and sense making, sending it by language into thinking. The problem with consciousness is that trying to explain it by language into thought already defeats itself since (I don't know exactly how but it's just that the act of thinking and trying to interpret reality through internal sense making, thinking and internal language doesn't really work). From my experience the "language" that consciousness goes through is the language of feelings. Let's imagine that there's no such thing as language (spoken and written and any mind communication tactics). What I've found is that language is basically an emotional expression of any kind which is translated into sound and paper. On a deep level, it is just a transaction of emotions. Think about it in the most innocent sense, like a baby really. It's all just emotions. When everything becomes without language but pure emotion (and I should also mention senses but my experience is mostly with feelings and emotions), then everything becomes light and you can more easily let it be. I've also had an insight in the shower afterwards that in order to let something be I need to be aware of it. It just made so much sense when I had that insight. The only reason you can let something be is because it is, and just is, and this is how you interpret it - as itself, why - because you're aware of it, it is in your perception. This whole awareness stuff seems way more innocent and "dumb" (in a good way lol) the more I meditate and understand

But you kinda contradict yourself because you just said that lower SD stage girls will not be attracted to this. Most girls are not super evolved psychologically. Basically most girls will go away from you while you still attract girls, but less

@Leo Gura By RSD are you talking about Owen Cook? And would you recommend his courses? I am now on a summer vacation and I came up with an idea I told a friend of mine that we can go to a random party/bar in the country in order to get out of our comfort zones and practice communicating with the opposite sex. I also said that I'm looking for sex because I feel like I really want it already. But that brought up a dilemma I have - Should I really waste my virginity that easily on some random woman just because I want to have sex that bad? It makes me look like some beta if I don't have much standards for the woman. And also, even if I find an amazing woman, I am still not interested in a relationship now, only sex, so what do I do?

@Leo Gura Hard for me to believe. It would make more sense to me if a not hot girl would have no problem sleeping with anyone, but a hot girl is higher value for sex for a guy. Sure, this wasn't my intention. In a sense I want to have sex but not be in a relationship yet. Want to get some sexual experience before that

@Leo Gura Would it be wise though to go to a club specifically for the purpose to fuck a girl and then leave her (or she leaving him) ? Especially if you're still a virgin

As I've been practicing this new kind of meditation, as with any kind, comes a time when I face issues with it and it is hard for my mind to stay still and cooperate. After some time doing this technique I've developed a method (which is in development) - I have a mantra of wherever your attention goes, follow it so that you feel this comfy feeling, and let everything around you be. The problem comes when thoughts are involved. Since this meditation means I'm free to think and accept my monkey mind then I'm 'letting myself think', then I'm caught up in something, then quickly realize that, and then I'm like 'let it be' (because at that point my tendency was to dismiss it) so I'm bringing the thought back and trying to let it continue. So this is exactly the problem. As you can see I am still trying to control my thoughts in very sneaky ways. I feel like I am sometimes slightly forcing myself to think and to control my thoughts a bit. This creates mental pain and I hate this feeling after meditation, especially when I expect to feel better afterwards. So how do I let go and let my thoughts be the right way? How do I really 'let go'? Are there any straightforward ways to increase your ability to let go / your capacity to accept, and very easy and simple which isn't tricky and all that?

@Shmurda And if I observe that then I might get even more neurotic and lost in trying to take control of thinking. Observing becomes trying to take control and think it

@Human Mint This is correct only if it's for survival's sake. Not making music won't kill me, it's a luxury

@Nahm Yo man what the hell, you're confusing me now. Why the fuck say "boring"? I just answered your question. Were you trying to get something from me by saying this? Is that how you're gonna leave it, saying it's boring and nothing more? At least you can elaborate a bit you know. Try imagining how some normal person like me would feel and think if he got that response. What do you suggest?

@Nahm Basically ever since I got into personal development (about 2 years ago), and it was a gradual process of seeing and experiencing how my mind is the only thing that is limiting me - all those fears and resistances and lies (like you often say) are internal. I've been meditating for like 1.5 years out of which I started Mindfulness meditation like 2-3 months ago and Do Nothing only like a week or two ago. I feel like the Do Nothing might be the winning card. I'm not sure I quite understood this. For now I'm meditating

@Husseinisdoingfine ohhhh baka mitai.. yeah

@Nahm Alright then, please snap me out of this belief (although I do believe that I'm enslaved by the prison of my own mind)

@Nahm What do you mean?

@meow_meow I can't go into combat/fighting (however you want to call it) because of my low profile. I also didn't get accepted into the intelligence corps. Basically I'm left with stuff that I don't really like. Soon I have my 'test' to get into the IDF spokesman which I'm not really excited for (it's basically reporting the information and all that). I'm already in not such of an exciting position, and if I don't get accepted into this then I'm truly fucked.

@Nahm Yeah, I've understood that creativity wasn't the problem, it just always gets suppressed because of the fear or whatever.

Hey I am actually surprised and glad that people are still interested in discussing here. I just want to update. So I've been making threads lately talking about how I don't have much inspiration lately to create music, like I'm really not motivated and it doesn't feel bad or anything. I've really questioned why I lost motivation for quite some time and I have some answers that might be the case. So naturally, since I was procrastinating for a long time then obviously the will faded as well. However, I started lately to really get into playing the piano. I'm starting to like it again and perhaps I've just channeled my creative energy towards the piano. What could also be is that I might just be in a lazy phase in my life (although it is like that for quite a while so maybe this is not the answer). With all that said I still feel something inside of me which isn't burning yet that is telling me that I still need to create music sometime soon, and I'll most likely want to create sometime in the future music again (using a DAW, maybe even playing an instrument on camera, or just like cool creative music projects). The fire isn't burning yet, but when it does, boy I have to penetrate through this resistance. As of now I'm practicing the Do Nothing Meditation and not too much results for now but I feel like I'm able to let go and be myself with slightly less resistance, which means being free to do what I want without limiting beliefs to cloud my vision. My guessing is that this meditation technique will eventually help me get started with music. I'm also doing mindfulness meditation to add on top of that (which I feel I'm being more in touch with reality, almost merging, sorry off topic). @VioletFlame Very interesting. I feel like I tried most of what you mentioned but in general it's always that fucking fear which makes those things painful to do. @Human Mint I kinda get what you're saying. It seems that your perspective is more natural, and yeah this is kinda how I want to work in the long run. But in the short term I don't think it will work well, as the brain is still in homeostasis, and radically making such changes can overwhelm to the point of quitting (and in some cases taking long ass breaks). If one day I decided to work for a long time then my mind will try to match up to this long time the next day, otherwise it is a failure. @Nahm How does that have to do with overcoming this block? Thanks..?

@Consilience That will literally be like feeling like a child and looking at reality as magical and having your senses more powerful

Coming to Israel any time soon? @Leo Gura

Lately I've been eating a lot more junk food, I've been more on social media, barely meditated, barely watched Leo's videos (not as consistent and as serious as before). Man I just hate it, fucking sucks. I'm learning all those things like how to stop backsliding, visualization, spirituality, attachments, Maslow's hierarchy, morality, and like I'm not managing to combine them all. I'm slacking off. I don't have even clarity of what I want to do with my time, lacking clarity and decisiveness. How in the world would visualization help me if I don't know what is the ONE thing that I need to put all my efforts into for like 3 fucking months, so much stress and of course Imma slack off in such a situation. Should I go with Maslow's Hierarchy or with my desire? Maybe I should eat healthy, but I'm trying not to 'should' myself in the foot so I go to the other end, eating unhealthy. I want to create. I know it deep deep inside even if I'm not always thinking about it. I have so many "problems" that just cloud my vision of reality. What in the world is happening in my life that causes me to slow down meditation, thus being less grounded and being a bit unstable in my life. But even if I decide, say, to create music (because I really love music and I know I will want to create music in the future) but it never hits me that this is the MOST IMPORTANT thing I should be doing with my time. What about investing time reading about finance so that I don't need to worry about money? How about a book on meditation? How about a book on human communication because I lack it. I can't even decide the more subtle things which determine my life trajectory, filled with more indecisiveness. It's like I'm meta-indecisive (this is how it feels sometimes). I've just finished high-school (final ceremony on the 21.6) which is really sad. Since I live in a small locality, we basically know each others' faces for 12 years, and leaving all that behind is really fricking sad and identity-threatening. I wouldn't consider most of them good friends of mine, but I still enjoyed their company somewhat. And in like 2 months I'm going to my camp for 6 months before the military (which is for 2.5 years). So much change is going on and it can quite overwhelm me at sometimes and I think there is a correlation to some extent for my falling. Anyways I just need a plan, I need some helping hand. I am lost. I know I am lost and I'm glad I know this at least although it is also a curse. Just want to enjoy my life again and be on the uphill I was before that

@Leo Gura Why not?

@OctagonOctopus Hey I just realized something that I forgot to tell! So I was saying that I was losing motivation and all that and am feeling comfortable and not inspired, but I'm starting to think it's because lately I've started to really get into playing the piano and I've found meaning again, just not in such an obvious way to me. So my focus isn't on creating music using FL Studio but rather practicing classical piano pieces. Currently it fulfills me. Just to clarify. However it got me thinking about the future and I wonder - What am I going to do as a business (that I'm passionate about) that has to do with music? I would still love to go back and try producing music again. It's just that my focus isn't on it currently, but it still holds some place in my heart

"A Samadhi always beats an orgasm" - Leo Gura lol

@Leo Gura Sick. Could you share them? I would really like to see

@OctagonOctopus Yeah man, I guess.. I am kind of relaxed but I feel my higher self knows I need to master a domain and to start creating music. I'm not fucking inspired at all. I'm just relaxing. At that point I don't know anymore if it's good or bad. I don't know if I gave up or not. In 2 months exactly I'm starting the camp and then this whole trajectory. I won't have time at all, and what is the point of slowly getting myself into it, wrestling with my mind, experiencing strong emotional labor, maybe even getting a nice result - all to go away because once I start the camp it's like 3 years that I won't be able to get back into it (I have like 1 month break from the end of the camp until the beginning of the military service)

@OctagonOctopus I'm just so tired and comfy, not seeking something greater right now. Don't feel the urgency and drive, and I don't want to scare myself into doing something which causes resistance in me