Loba

@Someone here You're toxic. You actually, genuinely are. Don't do that. I don't like that. Doesn't feel good when it comes back to you, does it? You're arrogant.

Have you ever thought of letting go of your need to control another persons spiritual experience? I mean, considering you aren't even a happy person, that you're someone who claims to, at the end of the day just be a coward that is full of fear - what do you even know? You're a closed minded person, pretending to have truth. There are so many facets to it, and all of it comes from a person's own introspection into themselves. When you decide for another person when they are honest or not, you take away that person's ability to decide for themselves, to find out, to grow. It then is no longer about them, but your silly little need to control what you view as truth, instead of doing more research or trying to understand another person who, at the end of the day, has every right to introspect the way that they think is best. One thing I am learning about people here who have chronic issues with controlling others is that they don't really care about another person growing, it is about making them conform to what you think is right. You're full of it, pretending that everyone else is, because you're looking outwards at what other people are doing on the forum. That's harmful, and it ultimately makes you kind a ....nyeh... person underneath it all. Focus on yourself, quit worrying about what other people are doing here, you are not here to "show them the way" or, honestly, even decide what is true or not. I bet, at the end of the day, you are probably just disappointed that you can't verify such things for yourself, you're closed off to it, an entire world that other people get to be privy to. All of this stuff COMES from direct experience. You are someone who is still trying to come to terms with the fear of death, and I remember you making a post in the past on wanting to have such experiences and being unable to. I dislike this form of dishonesty with people and I do keep track of the underlying reasons for these sorts of displays of "generosity" when it comes to showing other people how they should be living their lives. You sound like someone who is secretly envious. "I can't do it, so you are lying". Psssh. Whatever.

I did not get the chance to watch the whole thing, maybe in a few. IMO sometimes an action is racist and you don't know it is, and sometimes it is not - it depends on the context. There is a white bubble. I relate to it being strange myself, that it is an annoying thing, so I do relate and think that it is a problem that should be fixed because being boxed into an identity is really stressful. Like, I walk around, I feel... more like awareness than my body. What if my skin colour was all that was seen? Nothing else? That would drive me NUTS. I swear to God. I would develop a complex about it. It would get super OCD in my environment about having to handle being black, whatever that entails with racism. If I had to deal with race on top of everything else, that would suck tbh. It would just be one more label to have to try and work through that doesn't feel "right" in the sense that - race - it's a, it's like automatically assigning someone a class just by sight. And I know how that works, how over time you become it - the box that society puts you in. It happens so fast, too. And right under your own damned nose. "White fragility"... I can see it. If someone of colour came up to me and started calling me racist - and the energy was really defensive, then I would get flustered and confused, and respond the same way right back unless they could offer me a good reason for why they think I am racist - and that could be backed up with an open conversation. But if the race card is used for a manipulative reason, which I can only count less than a handful of times, then I will shut down and peace out. I think that you can become blind to internalized racism, because I see my parents raised in a different time and they have some of it left in them from their culture, but don't feel animosity towards different races - but they don't see it clearly as I do, especially my dad who was raised with racists, he makes jokes and doesn't understand - and times have changed even now, so I would expect that I would be in the same boat. I am colour blind to most races, living in Seattle - a lot of Asians, Indians, Mexicans, Eastern Europeans, ect - but there aren't as many black people, there are some neighborhoods, but I don't have a reason to go there for anything or know anyone in that area - and I have not lived in a place, ever, in my life growing up around a lot of black folks - so colour is something I do see initially at first for just that - but with other races it is no longer there. So this tells me that there is something going on with it - because I don't single races out, but I notice the difference initially simply due to lack of exposure. So, if people are exposed to many races as children, and it is pretty consistent - a good melting pot of ethnicities - then you do end up with colour blindness - and I think people need to discuss it and work it out until that happens - this generation can raise their children around many different people and this will help. I used to get a lot of Nat Geo books and stuff when I was small and this helped me to be more interested in folks from different parts of the world, different cultures and stuff. I like the idea of different cultures, races, religions, because it means that reality is ... not fixed. That there are so many different ways to view things - that's good. It's comforting. It means that all this crap in this culture is just as tossable as anything else. Too bad people can't just grab the best of everything and combine it. I wish people were clever enough to do this, then we would all have great lives, the best food, music, dance, communication, artwork, architecture, medicine, spirituality, traditions and genetics. If humans learned to trade the best of the best and incorporate it, we would be set as a species. I think and hope this will happen. We have to be willing to admit that noticing race and having an initial idea based on it is something that humans do naturally, we are wired for it. We need to see it without it being a big thing, I guess, and try to get people to see commonalities and enjoy differences. It is a problem, because unless you have been exposed to people of all sorts, this will automatically happen just by the way of how you process the world. Humans profile each other. Even if you are not racist, it is such a problem in the world - that this is something in the human psyche that needs to be exposed! It creates genocide. It is really a nasty part of humanity - wetiko needs to be seen in a neutral atmosphere. This is the same mechanism that plays out in different ways. I totally think it is a problem and I can sit here and write this and know how that feels in my own way because of how it works. It sucks. And it is like... you can't really address it, because the fragile person's self image is more important than your value, who you are... it feels like... an excuse to be lazy towards another person's problems and to allow it to continue, while pretending it is all in your head. And it feels like... no... there is an energy that is dismissive and not quite right, and it doesn't even really belong to anyone, it just sort of... is there, like a residue inside of people - a phantom of ill will towards you that you can't address, that sticks you in a perspective that is not yours, and you can't do or say anything about it because the perpetrator of the energy is too fragile to admit that it exists - so you then end up placating the source of your own discomfort. I think that could be what the problem is.

INFP 5w4 541 sp/sx

I use music in my practice and do occult work. This is what I do. In general, I am naturally always moving, I have a rocking chair that when I am doing work I like to sit in because it helps me think and I listen to music then. I like to choose things that speak to my heart and soul, or whatever emotion I might be facing or if there is a truth that I can't handle that maybe the song can embody for me, to help bring that energy out. I play the song in between reading about certain concepts or watching videos, because the lyrics or the music videos can add an emotional component, or even a download at times. When using music energetically, it has to be at the right time, and it is intuitively felt. I have wooden floors and some decent computer speakers. I put them on the wooden floor and play them at the highest volume - I lay down on my back, and breath and feel into the vibration as well as the song and let it take me over completely. If the energy needs to be transmuted or if I am trying to bring something into my world then I well sit up, and gently move my hands around the outer circle of my energetic space and feel for where it seems to break through the easiest and I concentrate on that spot, and will move my hips occasionally, just to get into the body, into myself as much as possible. When it feels like it is "time" to do this work, I am bound to having to do it for often days, sometimes weeks at a time in order to get all of the information. So generally I don't do this very often, it is of shamanic journeying in nature, energetically, it is quite draining - if you are interested in using music in your work, be sure that you not only have the extra time to commit to gathering whatever information that you are given but that you have the energy to do this. You will need to have some sort of intuitive understanding and feel for where energy is in your environment. Your intentions while doing this mean a lot - much more than I had anticipated, so make sure that if you are using this to manifest that you do so responsibly. I would look into how different shamans from different cultures use music and rhythm to get into states as well. They call the rythme a sonic driver, and the state you want to be in is called the hollow bone. You become a vessel. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heyoka Only those who have had visions of the thunder beings of the west can act as heyokas. They have sacred power and they share some of this with all the people, but they do it through funny actions. When a vision comes from the thunder beings of the West, it comes with terror like a thunder storm; but when the storm of vision has passed, the world is greener and happier; for wherever the truth of vision comes upon the world, it is like a rain. The world, you see, is happier after the terror of the storm. — Black Elk

There are other waves in the ocean, it is not just you. I think that perhaps this is a trap that psychedelics can give, because when I go through the death door, I can feel everyone else there, too within that sea of emptiness. You are a soul. A bubble within that sea, with other explorers. I exist. I am the one in front at the moment. I Am writing this. And you who is reading this, is the one who is in the front. But you are not the only one here. That is a mistake. i know this to be true because psychedelics and facing a genuine death are not the same thing. Try memento mori instead if this bothers you, and keep your heart and soul open to finding other experiences within this ocean while keeping yourself fixed on the void. If you close yourself off to it, then you will be stuck with this idea that it is just you. It's not, it's not. I swear. Keep going.

I've gotten into these states of mind only to get spiritual awakenings from them that glean towards a greater purpose and that there is an underlying meaning. So I suppose if someone took this stance and actually embodied it for a time, something similar might happen due to the fact that it brings you to a state of pure emptiness pretty easily. It is a good reset button for sure. But I don't believe anyone who has gotten into this frame of mind and maintained it did so with any degree of authenticity because it is one of a mental fast track to insight and paranormal experience, even. I think there is a balance to it that can be hard to walk across in a straight line, where there can be too much meaning, or too little. You kind of have to reset with no meaning at all, and then from that raw experience, pull together what you can. And then erase it again and embody it for a while, and then let that energy speak up again, and just keep doing that. Pretty much everything that you can imagine is going to be in some sort of middle ground. It will never go all one direction or the other.

I have noticed this as well and am a very nostalgic person. I remember always being nostalgic though. I remembered heaven in the sky and always wondered and ached to go back to it. Maybe we are all just looking for home, deep down, that final resting spot? You remember your childhood, what it felt like to be complete and you long for it - because you were closer to a sense of home then, while as an adult it is just, quite an awful experience, really, the human condition, living in general. Just terrible. Maybe someday in the future human life will be more worthwhile and then humans won't want the past? "World peace" is looking pretty nice.

Soul harvest Thought to delete this video, but the screen went white right before I had the chance to. Key stays. "The sun" "The son" I need to think of a solution for this channeling problem I keep having. I build my keys from nothing... what if... you... left, like, maintained whatever connections you wanna keep here but just sort of peaced out or whatever? So that no one mistakes my work for yours? Please. Please. Just for a few more months and then I am out of here, probably June or July? And then I can keep my placeholder, for once, without all this other bullshit happening again - and having to start from scratch. Please do this for me. It's only for 3 and a half months or so, until I can move out of this place and then I won't have any reason to use this forum anymore.

I have been thinking about this topic lately, but I don't really know how I feel about it yet as I don't really understand it, death seems like its own complex thing. Does anyone really have a genuine understanding of what it/death means? I feel like people who still have life left say they do but they don't, that it is just a front kind of.

This shouldn't take too long. The earlobe thing works actually, I just tried it. Dreamboard - largest picture perspective would serve as a compass. Peace on Earth - Good/high vibe ET. Notes (Even this guy turned it into an idea a bit, you have to be cautious of this - it is so subtle. I think I passed the test, though.): gg Is peace on Earth obtainable for human beings and what would that look like? This is Truth thus far, I feel like I remember this place. I feel like ultimately I will/everyone will be free. This pulls on my heart the most as far as remembering what it was like before. It's even more perfect than I thought it would be. It feels like I can have this just for me, and then the colours blend together a bit and the sunlight becomes circular and within that it is like a message of some kind and I am grateful. Life is perfect in every way. I won. I'm expecting it to be some kind of trick, but it's not. I remember this place of absolute perfection as Home. Life is magnificent and I would like to remember this as much as possible. I worked hard for it, I do feel like I earned it. Nothing matters and everything is perfect. It's ultimately all for me. "Remember." "Homesick." "Home is where the heart is." Collect things that speak like this.

I think the most important thing in life is learning how to carry with you, to see the energy of, and to hold close to you - your death and that society needs to stop sweeping it under the rug and explore what death really means. How can you know where you are at if you do not look death in the face? All spiritual talents/abilities come from carrying it with you. All phenomena comes from opening that door. When thinking of it and discussing it with others, I am always confused when it comes to people's reactions about death and how they try so hard to keep the other person there with them... why would you stay here on this world when your home is over there and this is just some middle ground, something designed to set your game piece in a certain direction? All your memories, the uncovered, undamaged souls of everyone you have come into contact, and the full scope of our power, our minds, imaginations, manifest into whatever we want. The human being has the capability to carry this over into the next world, that's our gift. You have to look it in the face first. I'll write more on this later I have a lot of opinions on this topic.

In the summer silence I was getting violent In the summer silence I was doing nothing Comfort = Stagnation :: I suppose I could just keep the realization that death is always nipping at your heels and that necessity is the mother of all invention. Mother nature waits for no one. Wolf is a butcher, the cruelest, realest aspects of the human psyche - let loose a storm on the mountain and picnic in the rain. Something is coming, something will happen soon, I feel it in my gut.

My gut says that it is better to leave all of that behind. That society and culture drags you down and tries to mold you into certain things. That this will go against what is needed in order for a lot of people to become enlightened, or whatever it is that they are supposed to be. That the solution is going out into solitude and finding yourself there and that there is an underlying order that can be observed just by sitting silently and watching it all in the present moment, looking out over a mountain top or somewhere high up. It isn't a closed loop, like it is in the in the city; it feels dead to me - or with people - and you don't have to be thinking all the time, or worrying about nonsense. The earth will nurture your soul. I am in a position where I don't have to work ever again if I don't want to, and I will be moving into a decent home in a few months close to nature. I'm going to orient it towards where I want it to be near the end of my life, in order to wake up from - and to continue on - and not worry too much about society at all - to remove as much of culture from myself as I can. I'm more interested in the spirit realms and I think that there is some knowledge about them that can be found in the forest and I know how/where to look. I think that just outside culture, all of it, in every way, is something that belongs to humans as a birthright. That how we live gives us a chance to design the next life. And if no one wants it, I am going to go get it. mama's gun - glass animals but you're in an empty cathedral (slowed + reverb)

I wouldn't go looking for that energy. If you find it you will know, it feels very heavy, dark, static, magnetic. Like how God contains love, when you find this energy, it will be outside spacetime and contain a collective of hatred and fear, both individually and on a global scale. If you find such energies within you, do what you can to neutralize them. http://maryshutan.com/darkness-spirit-and-the-feminine/ If you are looking for advice from both sides of the coin, I would not use this forum as most of the people here have thrown out some of the more important aspects of true spiritual connection, in favour of simply seeing a false light. This place has developed a... ... .... culture. Most of the people here do not really delve into authentic work. And most of them share Leo's blind spots. If you are looking for information on dark energy, you can go within and tap into what is darkest in your heart, or you can open your perspective to the horrors that take place in the world and to merge the necessity of some of creation's harshest acts. You have to train yourself to See this part of reality in an objective manner. Without the polarity of being able to see what is evil, then you won't have the ability to see what is good. Open up to the idea that you might be food for something else. Open up your mind to the idea that even divine insight could come from beings that are still just as flawed, that in other ways consciousness has developed, it will have its own blindspots. That you still have to parse truth from fiction, be a good experience or a terrible one, angel or demon.

Note: Culture is not your friend. You keep falling back into it. It's outside of culture, all construct = the trap. Reality is like clay. You shape it with your will, but it's immediate and present. It is the latter that is of most relevance to Fenrir and our existing Western Civilisation and Aeon. According to the Correspondences of “The Elemental Quadruplet” Fenrir is associated with the season of Winter; the Western Civilisation is entering its final, Winter stage. As such, Fenrir be seen as the ‘patron’ or symbol of this stage, and is a ‘patron’ to both the events that will occur naturally as befits this stage, and the options open to the Adept in his/her endeavours to alter this Aeon, and hasten or retard its demise. The choice is entirely upon the individual Adept; there is no set rule. Seeing this current Aeon has approximately in excess of 500 years to go, and Western Civilisation just under 400 years, there is no reason why – to speak symbolically – Fenrir can’t be chained for a little longer. His release and the death of this civilisation and Aeon are inevitable; there is no doubt that of that: one only needs a drop of Odin’s insight to see it. But if the right steps are taken, then a pre-Ragnarok Regeneration of the Western mind, body and soul may be possible. This would provide a lasting influence on the next Aeon (and its civilisation) as the Hellenic Aeon – as a vital stage of the evolution of Western Paganism – has had on the current Western one. Alternatively, the Adept has the option of unleashing Fenrir at this point in time in order to perhaps quicken the demise of this civilisation, ensuring an entirely new civilisation – without the influence of Western civilisation – in the next Galactic Aeon. Perhaps such an action is premature, considering the length of time left to run, however temporal unleashing can be used in order to enact the goals of a Regenerated Western Aeon. Such ‘temporal unleashings’ aid the disintegration of existing power structures; those that can be regarded as distortions of the Western Civilisation’s original ethos, while retaining the basis from which to build upon. However, such actions cannot be undertaken frivolously or on a whim. They require and appreciation or Wyrd, both collective and individual. All intentions, all goals, must be clearly defined and all actions and reactions should be understood by the instigators. In other words, they must be Adepts in the true meaning of the word. Note: Don't give your story away. Keep going. You need no middle man - you will find yourself in a very bad spot if you allow yourself to fall into the belief that you do. You are going to have to keep pressing forward. You know more than many of the people here about niche things and so you will have to be your own authority. But you are unsure of yourself, and so this creates a tempation for others to control your experiences because they often read as somewhat novel. When you push away, their reaction is to minimize you and this is how it starts with every single one. Keep going, don't look back. This is a cult, and these people are cult members. You provide a mirror that is at times too accurate for others to handle. Your requirement for absolute purity of intent makes people feel belittled, but energetically it has to be this way. Don't fall back into it, just look at it, watch it... glide OVER it. Darkness, Spirit and the Feminine The Mold - How Society Thinks We Should Be

https://outofthefog.website/top-100-trait-blog/2015/11/4/hysteria Hysteria An inappropriate over-reaction to bad news or disappointments, which diverts attention away from the real problem and towards the person who is having the reaction. Being a Drama Major or Drama Queen Many people enjoy 15 minutes of fame, however a Drama Major or Drama Queen has a constant need to seek out and hold the attention of others through manifesting extremes of emotion. Call it a hissy fit, a tantrum, or a case of hysterics – the effect is the same. The limelight is theirs, even if it was someone else’s catastrophe brought them on stage in the first place. The goal of a hysterical person is to draw attention to themselves and to their plight - often from people who do not know them well and who are more likely to give a sympathetic response. It’s a behavior which can manipulate total strangers into serving the PD person’s emotional needs. There is nothing inherently dysfunctional about desiring other people’s attention, except when the scale and context are inappropriate, and prevent someone with a genuine crisis or need from receiving the assistance they need. How the script plays out A parent’s behavior demands more attention at the emergency room than their injured child. A cousin starts an emotional argument with relatives while the bride and groom are cutting the cake. A widower needs to be carried out of the church behind the coffin at a funeral. A parent rushes their child to the hospital with a minor complaint. A man habitually calls the police when no-one is at risk. A person calls or shows up unannounced when they have been politely asked not to, claiming a crisis makes it necessary they ignore your request. A person always repeats the most outrageous, salacious, and dramatic gossip in order to get attention. A man threatens a lawsuit when a waiter spills his coffee. Someone seems to be more often than not in a state of crisis for no apparent or logical reason. Hysterical people take everyday situations and elevate them to a level that is inappropriate, unhelpful and diversionary. They may sometimes appear more comfortable in a crisis than in a calm situation. They are the kind of people who threaten, bluster, overreact, take it up a notch and go to extremes, becoming like black holes for the emotional energy if those around them. Like emotional addicts, they are constantly seeking another “fix” of sympathy, admiration, envy, respect, significance and attention. One of the worst impacts of hysteria is that it often diverts resources away from real problems and puts the spotlight on the person who is acting hysterical. People who know a hysterical person well are often inclined to become suspicious of them over time and withdraw their support. When this happens, hysterical people are commonly driven to recruit new sympathizers. It’s not uncommon for people who suffer from HPD to recruit whole new sets of friends every year or so. There may be a tendency to idealize these friends while they are new and sympathetic and to devalue them when they become withdrawn. What it feels like If you are a companion or family member to a Drama Major or Drama Queen, you are probably suffering from crisis fatigue. You probably yearn just to be a “normal” couple or a “normal” family, and long for mundane days, ordinary affairs and predictable events. You may wish you could just become invisible and let some other household get all the attention. In public, you may be wishing you could carry a sign that says “I’m not really like them” - except that to do so would just draw more attention. You may find yourself trying to “clean up” the mess behind your loved-one. You may be familiar with the impossible task of trying to appear as though you are a reasonable rational human being and you understand other people’s skepticism about your loved-one’s behaviors while at the same time trying to behave supportively so it doesn’t look like you are part of the problem. You may feel humiliated by their behavior. You may wonder what people must think of you and you may be thinking that people assume you’re probably at least half as bad as them. The good news - most discerning people can differentiate between the characters that make up a family, and can recognize who are the balanced ones. The bad news - most people will never tell you what they really think of your family member or partner, for fear that you might take it the wrong way and reject them. Unless you make the first move - such as move out or file for divorce and declare your independence most people will never tell you what they really think about the Drama Major or Drama Queen in your house. After you move out, a number of people will be only too happy to tell you what they always thought - once there is no personal risk for them to do so. How to Cope While you may find a Drama Major or Drama Queen’s behavior exhausting and frustrating, if you step in and try to control them or try to stand between them and the attention they crave, you will have about as much success as a concerned parent who tries to keep their teenage addict away from their next fix. You will not be successful and you may get hurt in the process. Unlike cocaine or heroin, attention is not a controlled substance and seeking or grabbing attention is not a crime. Therefore you are not going to be able control how much attention another person chooses to draw to themselves. You will have to let them have it. Your main concern should be to consider if this behavior is hurting you or any children involved. If they are hurting children by their behavior, do your best to protect those children - especially if you are their other parent. If you are not their parent then you are limited in what you can realistically do - beyond reporting any child abuse concerns to the authorities and offering those children a supportive environment whenever you are around them. If they are hurting you, then you need to consider protecting yourself. This begins by working on your own boundaries, and considering removing yourself from any environment that is not healthy for you, if and when appropriate. What NOT to do Don’t stand between a hysterical person and the attention they crave. You might as well stand in front of a freight train. Don’t try to “talk sense” into them - you can’t fight addiction with logic. Don’t assume the responsibility of fixing a hysterical person. Don’t try to “cover” for them - people are smart and will draw their own conclusions regardless of your efforts. Don’t blame yourself for the behavior. Drama is addictive, and you are peripheral to the Drama Major or Drama Queen’s need for a fix. What TO do Protect yourself and any children from harm as best you can. Promptly report any incidents of neglect or child abuse to the authorities. Talk to trusted friends about what you are experiencing. Level with them so they will be comfortable in telling you what they can see and help you to see things “from the outside looking in”. Detach yourself from feeling responsible for a loved-ones behavior. Let it go. You are not responsible for their actions. You are only responsible for the way you have behaved. Resolve that you are going to detach yourself from anybody else’s behavior and just be responsible for your own behavior from now on. Forgive yourself for your past mistakes. If you live with a drama major, chances are you have “lost it” a few times. That’s not the best way but that is in the past. Resolve to learn better ways to react to and protect yourself from your loved-one’s addiction. Forgive yourself for the way other people behave in your life. Resolve to be the best “you” that you can be. I couldn't handle what is essentially.... this... every time I am busy with my life in the real world, this is the pattern with this person, they introject themselves into situations and they cry wolf. I have noticed a pattern that whenever I am busy in the real world, they take this as a bad sign, so this lets me know that this person is basically just using this forum. Stop with this behavior where you do everything that you fight against. Just... stop.... this is why people don't wanna be around you. They can't even make a choice without coming back to insane levels of this weird.... nonsense. What is this? This place is less healthy for you than it is even for me. Maybe you should get a life? Every time I have been busy with real world problems, and divert my attention this happens - you don't own people's attention here... you know that right? You create problems for yourself. You spend all your time focusing on that stuff, just nonstop it is only negativity. Like... you are everything that you discuss in other people, why can't you see this? EVERYONE ELSE HERE DOES EXCEPT YOU. I am doing you a favour. Close your mouth and contemplant. Can you do that? Are you able you? God damn. Just goes on and on. I predict you'll post some long thing, not do any of it - and then claim victimhood or whatever else you use this place for - certainly not for growing... you know, people can choose who they let into their life. And this stuff you do, pushes people away. For me, I like being alone so idaf, but for anxious people like you - if someone doesn't want to put up with it, coming back - after a day of doing their own thing to just find page after page of this stuff, and then victimization that you just pull up on the spot without any interest to work through it - what do you expect? You're manipulative. Like... look for healthy people that can deal with that kind of stuff. Stop this every time I am busy with my life, or when I decide this isn't my cup of tea. Accept it and cut the shit. Leave me alone. I have you on block, I'm not taking it off, rage all you want I won't see it.