Loba

@Tim Ho He was! I remember this script, it was very interesting that he was able to channel and got this experience.

Happy New Year's.

@RMQualtrough The answers will come during an awakening, but you have to sit with the questions you're seeking while also not seeking the answer - try writing down whatever comes to mind when going through the fear of death, or honestly, any fear at all - and work your way through it and sometimes the answers will appear in your writing. The mechanism will take place, like a pattern, so you just have to get acquainted with your own patterns of writing and stuff. I'll give you a more extensive answer tomorrow evening. I'll basically just tell you what my practice is - and the ways I find answers for things, and then you can try some of it out and see if you're able to find anything - honestly, the path is sometimes very quiet, so you have to listen to yourself with ears wide open, so to speak. I need to think on how I want to word what I am saying. Here are one of the mechanisms: This mechanism is one reason why I share music so often, as music is God's language.

If you go through your own death you can find all these answers in your direct experience - imagine instead your body is dying right now - which it is, and focus on the sensations and fears coming from that, and anything that comes up that gets in the way of seeing that truth, inspect it - and then answers like these uncover themselves on their own in due time. That's the quickest route to finding the mechanism - it can't be spoken of - you'll generally only get a piece of the diamond, a shard of it to learn from, and then just collect and add to it from direct experience and you'll learn everything that you need to for your unique path. It takes time to get answers sometimes, so be patient.

If you have an encounter with a negative entity, explain to it that it can't gain any more knowledge without love and that it is disconnected from a source of never ending energy - you need to approach them without fear and matter of factly. They are missing something. Entities like this are searching for power, for source - they, just like how humans ranch cattle, use human emotions as a food source - Look at this video, was this your entity: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o4-t6bmh4Uc My Wolf was a negative entity complex that I turned good by explaining this - they are looking for "food" to keep going and have not learned that Love is a universal, permanent food. Confront them like Naruto confronts the nine tailed fox. I will explain more on this later, check out Law of One by Ra to understand negative entities. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rh2-mvjEtQQ&list=RDrh2-mvjEtQQ&start_radio=1 "Breathe, cold, another bad dream Got mud on my face that I can't get clean Feel whole, but I rip at the seams If I can't get you away from me Taking showers every hour and I choke on steam Writing on the mirrors and the space between All so tall, it broke the fourth wall Guess our fairy tale had a few plot holes" They make insanely powerful allies if you can work with one.

Hmmn... can you die from mahasamahdi? Just by letting go of all karma? Just leave the body?

Stay away from people who make you feel bad about yourself.

Would be interested in a video on this as well. I almost got conned by a member here.

@hyruga How is she supposed to have all these ants at her disposal? In an ant jar? Just carry around a bunch of ants? And then squish them? What if she gets tiny ant killing karma then? I wonder if a rubber band snapped on the wrist each time would work?

@Michael569 Fortunately, I do go to the dentist to get cleanings twice a year, but I agree with you and will start this habit for the new years as part of my morning routine resolution. Can't wait for perfect gum health! I see Leo's healthy gums when I watch his videos, I noticed how nice they were and how white his teeth are and it makes me want to take better care of my teeth as well.

@Judy2 Aww thanks, it so is. It just feels like a clean slate, it's more the experience of like... a bunch of people having the same emotion at the same time and resonating with that and during the holiday season - new years and so forth - there is just the spirit of it in the air and I feel it and love it. It's, think in mbti 'extroverted feeling'; like a communal resonance, where everyone feels like they can move forward and accomplish their goals and they are motivated and happy and being around it makes me feel the same way as opposed to just any day, there isn't the same kind of cheer. I'm still externally motivated in some aspects for sure.

@Gesundheit2 Yeah dude, of course, only share what you feel most comfortable with. Absolutely. I totally get it, I think that is great of you to be protecting and caring for your sister the way that you are doing. This is really interesting news - and if this is true, then it does make me question the medication as well. But I am no doctor nor professional by any means. If she goes off of them, and the symptoms come back full force, you could try them again, but if she is showing signs of spiritual awakening then they might not be needed, as they are meant to stabilize brain chemicals that are out of balance - not spiritual awakenings. And they can look very similar, a lot of people in the hospital that I stayed in had symptoms of spiritual awakenings that had gotten "stuck" somewhere and ended up causing problems. There isn't enough information out there to determine a psychotic episode from a spiritual emergency. It can look exactly the same, and all you can do is follow your intuition on it and listen to what the person is telling you, and you are and that's great. I am glad that you are listening to your sister's experience and not just writing it off as pure delusion - this can happen in some families and then the person thinks they are sick and never recover. I happen to be both, mental illness and a spiritual channel, so if you need advice for either, let me know and I'll do my best. I can even just share my own experience if that helps as sometimes I don't have the best advice - but I can tell you kind of how it went for me, what the experiences were like and so forth; what I've learned. You're a good brother. You should feel proud of yourself for how you care for your family.

I do take it seriously. I loooove the holidays so much! That's really cool that you have gotten to that point tbh. I think the reason that I love the holidays so much is that my mother always puts a lot of time into it, and she did when I was a kid, too. She's an isfj, so tradition is really important to her, and seeing my family in a good mood during these days is really infectious. I love that people are more giving, happier - and the traditions that come with the holidays are fascinating as well. I'm a really good gift-giver and can always find some of the coolest stuff for other people. I love listening to what people like and what they need and would always surprise my friend and family with something unique that they don't expect. I'm a big gift giver - I inherited the spirit of the season from my family. I think that how people view the holidays can have a lot to do with how they are raised, too. If it was a stressful time, or lonely, then the holidays won't be viewed with the same zest as someone who has a lot of good memories of being with family and friends. Much love to you, too! (Can't wait for the new years! I love the collective spirit of making resolutions and people feeling like there is a clean slate to the fresh new year - that's the best.)

I like lmfao's answer. Stage green does not have as many solutions as stage yellow and is more emotional and reactive towards what it considers "wrong" outside of it's paradigm - like, oppressive/abusive/disingenuous/dishonest - and tends to fight back for equality. There is a lack of finding solutions and being able to step into the point of view of an aggressor. It's reactive, dogmatic at times, and can be more lazy if blue and orange are not integrated properly. Greens need yellows to show them better ways of divergent thinking - more examples, more ways to integrate new views and not get stuck in old views. Green does not move with the flow the way a yellow does. Yellow can find commonality and get along with most people - the problem is, yellow looks uncaring and unempathetic in some ways. It has such a large picture perspective and is so masculine, that the feminine green can be put off by yellow if it does not know how to empathize with green's concerns. Green often doesn't have the direction and drive that yellow has. Greens are sensitive, they need space to integrate the evils of the world and come to understand why things aren't fair and "how to deal". Greens need to learn to view their emotions from a third person perspective. They haven't "gotten over themselves" yet, many times. Greens need to learn to accept things as they are; to learn to understand things from a systemic point of view, which is less personal and more inclusive. Greens need yellow to show them what multi-perspectival actually means. Greens deny yellow this opportunity many times until they see the value of moving up - they view themselves as more empathetic than yellow when it is the other way around - yellow just doesn't get mired down the way green does, yellow sees the whole system and plays with it. Green gets stuck. Green is a sticky place to be. I can go from red to green depending on my environment. When safe, I am green, when afraid I revert to red. I need to work on orange and some blue as well. Green is stuck in the past still in some instances - still egoic - still fighting - and yellow seeks solutions. Green needs to learn to go back to blue and orange, integrate that in order to become stable enough and sovereign enough to be yellow. Yellow is an individuated person. Yellows can teach greens if green can look and see how this sort of thinking can be helpful - but it is a huge jump. I view it as the feminine integrating the masculine. Greens need their creativity and curiosity sparked towards new ideas - towards systems thinking - I imagine a lot of women are green - they either go downwards and get stuck with an orange and this fails or they find yellow and work 'up' - however, yellows are lonely and often get stuck with green because yellow is hard to find. It isn't easy to turn a closed minded green person yellow - they have to do it themselves - you can throw a bone here and there, but the stage orange work is on them to complete. Otherwise they would be yellow, not green imo. Green is like a shortcut stage - you can get there, get stuck there, and not want to go back down... but you have to. Green - enfp; infp; isfp; enfj - generally Yellow - intp, intj, infj - generally - "mature" entp's - most are orange though. Sensors - usually make up purple, red, blue and orange - not as self-reflective - isfp is generally the exception to the rule and tends to come across as a pseudo-intuitive.

You don't cheat and you have a sense of humour, which is more rare than having good looks. You are equal/superior to a cheater with good looks. They might be telling you this to keep you from attracting someone, or perhaps they feel jealous? I would get new friends, don't listen to them and keep being yourself.

@Gianna That is really good advice, thank you for sharing. I don't know if this info helps, but they come from a war torn country where the people were severely abused, and so I question if perhaps some of the trauma from that contributed to her state. What advice could be offered for a whole family who has seen/been through so much? It's more than just mental illness to work through imo, there is probably a lot of trauma as well. It seems as though you have a lot of info to offer - Ges, I would message her if you get the chance and ask; this is really good advice. ^ Also, lemmi know if you still want to talk - I am giving you space until I further know what is happening as sometimes I don't always know what to say. You and your sister, and what has happened has been on my mind and I am hoping for the best and rooting for you. Let me know what kind of support you need right now and the best way that I can be helpful. If you need, let us support you in this time.

What is a tulpa, is it it's own being/soul/entity or is it a part of you/ your personality structure - in the sense... do you create it like a parent creates a child and then let it loose, or does it create itself?... or is it a spirit all unto itself that was at some point alive - or is it a completely different entity? I love this kind of stuff and I find it so fascinating. I work with two beings - Kali Ma, who is a goddess and an archetype, and "the Wolf" who is an archetype and a machine elf. He doesn't have a name and prefers to go by 'Wolf' and we have a long history - it would take away from your thread to write about what he is and I am much more interested in your tulpa - I have not gone through this thread yet so if you could give me a quick synopsis, that would be so cool. I love that other people here like you have these experiences as well, it normalizes them and brings something interesting to the otherwise sometimes stale normal nonduality nomenclature. These are my two guides: Kali and Wolf:

@Vido Yeah death is the big one, but you don't have to face it all at once if you don't wanna. Depends on where you are at, it is hard to me to gage that on this forum. I know exactly what you mean about postponing certain things until "the next day", lol! It totally is like mental gymnastics, a lot of this stuff is counter intuitive. I get it, that episode hit me like a ton of bricks - it was great.

@Vido Are you having problems with your weight? I have been too, I started medication and I shot up to like, 50 more pounds in three months and so I have been on a calorie restrictive diet for two weeks now and plan to work out for an hour a day once I gain access to my exercise equipment. TBH I like being slightly chubby more - I hope to be fit and also thicc. What sort of problems are you having revolving around food? Where do you think it might have stemmed from? What prevents you from looking at your weight and loving yourself anyways? I would question it all and look into it, along with the fear of death and see what comes from it.

It's death, this is the main fear that all other fears stem from, and so by looking into this - many of your other fears should fade away over time. It's hard, it takes a while to get over the fear, I still have a lot of fears of death even after many awakenings into Love and safety - I still worry, like - what if I have done something karmically wrong, will that affect everything else? How important is this life - that I work through these things, will it fix things for others now and in the "afterlife" - or what? I found that by going into the fear of death and looking at it directly, that I gained a lot of insight into myself and this was the cleanest and clearest path for me to lay down my ego - at the end of the day I am just a frightened, nervous animal. But I want to be brave, and strong and experience freedom from life - I want to be loving, good, generous and free from the limitations I have put on myself. When I run from truth, it is always the fear of death down at its core. I wish I could share with you directly how much benefit I got from going through these fears; it really did change my life for the better so if you are experiencing a hard time looking at truth and feeling fear of it, I would take up the practice of memento mori, which is writing about and contemplating your own death and the nature of it. Looking into your fears, and being honest about them is one of the best spiritual practices you could do for yourself. I plan on taking the time to dissect this particular episode Leo has done tomorrow and Tuesday and see if I can't root out much of the underlying bullshit. There's a lot of bullshit... I'm a neervous hooman. It is quite a paradox, because looking into death - you will find the most life and the most Love. The fear is a lie - but it takes a bit of work, like learning to ride a bike, to look at the face of death directly and not to be afraid. Honestly, I don't know how people do it, but I find it to be fascinating. Courage is admirable. Leo's video on memento mori, this has been one of his most helpful vids for me in overcoming my fears, maybe it will help you to? GL!

Spirituality has helped me in so many ways, I feel happier, healthier, freer and more clear. I feel safer knowing that I don't die, I feel blessed that I had an awakening before understanding spirituality - that it literally called to me in my time of need and is always there - God; my guides as well - and that even though I might still have a ways to go when it comes to understanding, I understand so much more than I ever thought I could - I can read Sri Aurobindo and actually understand, whereas before 6 years ago, I never would have understood. If spirituality did not exist, if consciousness was purely material, then I don't know where I would be. I never would have looked for this stuff on my own, it came to me. I feel as though it has saved me from a life of fear, meaninglessness, lovelessness and lack and given me something to look forward to. Whatever powers that be thought that my life was worth saving and that I was deserving to know that there was more and I am humbled and grateful for the opportunity, when so many people out there who are lost, are never given a glimpse of hope. I'm no better than any of them. I hit the jackpot. I won the lottery. I was sick and suffering and God was there for me, Kali was there for me, the Wolf was there for me - I won the "game". I fought for a sense of truth tooth and nail, and came out victorious. I went into the belly of the beast, into death itself, and came back unscathed. I am an ordinary person, a no body, and yet I received a blessing, a Knowing and a sense of peace when I needed it the most. I feel as though my soul has been saved. That I was drowning and suffocating and the goodness of God pulled me out and resuscitated my near-corpse. The things spirituality has done for me, no person has ever done in the way that it has - it gave me my everything. My sense of reason for being, my sense of imagination and wonder restored, my curiosity and an entirely new interest that has so much depth to it that I could just learn about it forever and ever and barely scratch the surface. I don't deserve what spirituality has done for me. There are much better people in the world who have gotten less than a person like me. If God could save someone such as myself - then it is a testament to the goodness of God. All I had to do was look at myself with honesty, and God did the rest. It was like my entire life was built and planned just to see, just for that moment - that I had been "chosen". And I had. And so are you guys. Not a lot of people get these kinds of chances in life, to learn and to Know in the way that we get. It is a gift that should never be squandered. I would say that the cons are that sometimes it can be hard to determine an awakening from a delusion. I have followed myself into clarity as well as into insanity going down the same road, with completely different results.

My problem is just the sensation, weird sensations like that are hard to handle, but I need to do it anyways. Like, I can't use an electric toothbrush it just, it tickles like getting my feet tickles or something - it's annoying beyond reason, it makes my whole face tickle. So I want to brush twice a day as well, just to get this grooming stuff covered in the mornings so that my body feels better and if I have to go somewhere I am ready to go - that early morning preparedness will make the rest of the day run properly. It's important to floss, I want perfect gum health and want to spend the next year reducing inflammation via diet, exercise and fixing anything that is inflamed, and my gums bleed when I do floss so this tells me that I should do it more often. I have the string floss, but I'll buy some picks - my mom uses the picks and prefers them - and I'll probably floss more often if it is more convenient.

work/study: I don't work at the moment. I have in the past, but when my mental disorder started getting worse I quit work and have not worked for about seven years. I tried to heal myself with spirituality for almost 6 of those years and simply could not do it. I do study every day, even though I am not in school, as someone who is naturally curious I find that I must/like to be learning new things all the time or I get bored very easily. I have to be drawing, or working with my hands, or reading or doing something while awake... I hate watching t.v. and just sitting there without introspection or something. Sometimes this can be a hindrance to just sitting still for a while, though. I plan to get myself mentally healthy enough to start part-time work and that is my goal for 2022. I am keeping my goals realistic, for what I am dealing with. emotional intelligence: My emotional intelligence has improved quite a lot this year compared to previous years, where I had kept a lot of bitterness, now I can let things go. I have forgiven a lot of people and can hold space for others and am more friendly and outgoing. There is still a ways to go with this, as emotional intelligence isn't my strongest gift and generally I am not always sure how I am feeling. social life: My social life could use improvement, but the thing is I am very introverted and kind of awkward initially. I used to have friends, but when my mental health got bad, I did not treat them well and they either left - or they betrayed me and did actions that were not good for me, either. Most of them were high school friends, and we outgrew one another. This was about 8 - 6 years ago; and there is nothing that we would have in common anymore, although I probably would get along with some of them as I am now better than I did then as I am much more self aware, more informed, more emotionally intelligent and spiritually developed - I can set boundaries and decide for myself, whereas in the past I did not and let it get out of hand and I would then get angry - holding it all in - and sometimes explode on them. Their actions were not kind and so they "deserved" it - but it ended up making me wallow in the mud with them, thus not making me much better - and then making my protests no longer coming from the high ground. The thing is, I don't want a bunch of friends, I don't like to have to manage interacting with a lot of people. I find a lot of things people do to be boring. I like to be busy with my hobbies, listening to music or imagining. I plan on making some friends in a year or two after I work on some emotional stuff first for the year 2022. I'll make maybe four or five friends and that is all I can handle - all I can offer my time to. They will be treated well, but first I need to work on some things emotionally, have a few more awakenings, and get a bit busier with my life so that I have things going on for myself. relationships/sex life: I'm not looking right now, and wasn't this year - after attempting to get to know someone in 2020 and it ending in arguments, followed by a rehash of the exact same behaviour ... yet again, I still need to work on myself before I can do that. I need to develop confidence, self love and build for myself a daily schedule that I can put my time focusing on, and my meds need a year or two of working; adjustments and stuff, I want to be sure I don't get delusional while in a relationship because that's, well, it is embarrassing when that happens. I plan on trying mushrooms this summer and to do some serious introspection this year to weed out some family and previous relationship baggage first - I want to leave all of that at the door and not bring it with me; I want to have some things going for me in terms of what I want to be doing for myself so that a relationship doesn't end up being the only thing I focus on or spend time on, I want to keep my sense of self and ability to work on my path and make sure that I am remaining authentic to myself, and I need to have the extra space in order to hold space for someone and I don't have the extra space mentally right now. I have never had a positive relationship, and I would like to experience that someday. I don't want... like, forever. I just want day by day, each day, a bit of improvement, add time into it, and go from there but I need to mature and individuate first or I will become too attached in the wrong ways, or too little and then too much interested, back and forth like that - I don't have that stable space from which to create something and the whole point of relationships is to hold that space and add to it, so that it creates kind of like a "bank account", or "third entity" of action, that over time becomes fluid and is generated on trust and love - I know how to do that internally - on paper - but not in reality. So this is something I will work towards, but won't be ready for for another year or two. I might seek a therapist when I find a relationship and then have the therapist help me build that space - and help me navigate my traumas and stuff. I don't want a "therapist partner" and I don't want to get lost in another person and lose my sense of self. Individuality is very important. I've learned all this in 2012, whereas before I wouldn't even know what I want or be able to articulate this. It took a lot of self reflection to get to this point, and this is just the beginning. There's still the "have to go through and re-live the trauma and make it right with myself" point - that's where the therapist will come in. I need a neutral third party to basically show me how to love another human properly because my family is dysfunctional and did not teach me these things and they spread to me. family: My relationship with my family has improved tenfold after going on bipolar medication. I used to fight with them all the time and I would be paranoid, or if they asked me to do something around the house I didn't have the ability to switch gears and would just get pissy. I can voice my needs easier now and we are more respectful towards one another. My bipolar got really bad. I was either manic or catatonic. So I moved back in with them because I need to work on developing, basically, a productive day that can move me forward. And the things I had avoided learning for myself all hit me like a ton of bricks - and so I still need them. I can't do it all on my own. I wish I could. So we all worked together, I helped them out, and we moved into a new home and we love it. My family can retire here and my brother and I will inherit the home when they pass away. I feel safe now, whereas earlier this year I was living in paranoid fear, delusion and anger and it felt like my mind was "on fire" - now things feel like, calmer, more peaceful. I feel hopeful for the future and don't feel scared that I will end up homeless, or mentally ill beyond repair. I learned that with a support system, I can grow and that it is okay to ask for help and I learned that if you have Bipolar 1 - the more severe type - that you have to stay on meds. Spirituality will not fix a brain chemistry that is so messed up that it makes you catatonic. It just won't. self-development/spirituality: I need to do better in the self-development department. As I mentioned, the mental illness took away my motivation to even take care of myself. But I did learn what I need to be doing in order to grow based off of what was not working for me ands so now I know what I need to do to develop myself, and I can see where my limitations are. I don't feel manically grandiose anymore, either, I can see my skillset for where it is. Spiritually, I grew the most this year. I've had two hospitalizations that proved to be very helpful, and many awakenings that have shown me things about myself that I did not know. Both good and bad. I learned what the entity that I have been working with is, I was able to move it towards the path of light, I learned that my experiences were so intense that they were like a long salvia trip of feverish delusion. My autoimmune disease flared up around March, and continued for a few months and during this time I had many fever-awakenings that gave me insight into what happens after death. I was literally preparing for my death, I thought I couldn't handle myself. I didn't think anyone would come to help, and I could "move" myself. I tried reaching out to people on YouTube and got delusionally attached and also paranoid about them - just like you'd expect from someone with these sorts of issues - I had to play out the entire spectrum of karma with this person, in order to then see what I needed to work on. I am like a new person in a lot of respects, but there is still a long ways to go and there is so much room for improvement. This was a year of learning about, and conquering the fear of death, and it was about accepting my mental illnesses instead of running from them and pretending that I was okay, and could fix myself on my own without any support at all. I tried to hide it for a long time, and it all came crashing down when I needed those hospital stays to stabilize. I saw how the medication actually really DID HELP PEOPLE WHO ARE SICK. I saw them, within weeks, recover in very good ways, and that those who were delusional, or catatonic or schizophrenic, got better. They did! The only thing that was a failure was the lack of allowing spirituality, because a lot of people were having spiritual symptoms as well and were told those were delusions. I have done enough work to be able to tell the difference... usually, but plan to do much more work so that I never, ever.... hopefully, end up with another one again. My goals for this upcoming year are to simply find part-time work, to lose the weigh the meds made me gain through working out, and to do a morning routine that should then set the stage for busier, more eventful days. I want to start small and give myself goals that I will actually be able to finish. Before being medicated, I would get manic and think I could do all these things that I could not do - and then would crash and couldn't move and I would be paralyzed by fear and emotional anguish that is rooted in trauma, but the illness seemed to magnify it and I couldn't step back far enough from my emotions to work on it. Now I can. I plan do that this year as well. I've been doing a lot more art, lately as well. When sick, I stop my favorite hobbies. My goal is basically to "get a life". Literally. Build a daily routine over the next few years that will get me through and just maintain it. After developing a morning routine for a year and working for just two days a week, I can add onto that the next year, and add a nightly routine, and then the year after that, something else, that is small but life changing and do-able. This whole year has been one of intense karmic growth.

Ugh... teeth brushing, I hate it... I hate the sensations of the brush, but I need to do better with this anyways - I brush only once a day before bed - and don't floss. This thread is a good reminder that when I start my morning routine this year to add flossing to the mix.

I 'think' possibly... now I'm not sure, but my interpretations is: what all of that means is that after death the imagination and karma make up what environment you create for yourself - and so Jesus wanted to give a way to clear people of that karma and give them something unified to believe in so that souls would have a pathway to higher realms of being after death i.e. heaven. Beyond that, I don't really know.