Preetom

Something to contemplate on before asking why people do any shit at all?

Am I aware? yes. The whole Enlightenment business boils down to the quality of attention. Sticky thoughts. Obsession with phenomenal experience. The constant effort to give subjective fictitious appearance some objective, independent Reality. There is no such Reality. Can anything be rendered without I AM? Why bother with the broken pieces of outcomes. Focus on the source. It's like we rarely remember that the sun is above us that is lighting everything up. We obsess with things that the sunlight illuminates but never bother to look at the sun. Isn't it the thing I've done for the most part of my life? This is why all beliefs, contraction and misery is self imposed. It is only there because it is not seen through properly. Reality is only real as long as I see it as real. That's how this whole thing is running... a house of cards with no foundation. But the breakthrough from this delusion is not easy. It would be so easy if these were only intellectual concepts. These concepts are held together by deep rooted feelings and emotions. How else could this thing work? The core material is wisp dream stuff but the binding material is like super glue. This is why I still give a fuck when rubber meets the road. There is still fear and bunch of other feelings gluing all of this hodgepodge together..while it lasts.

Am I aware? yes. How do I actually verify that knowledge for myself? Do I need a thought or intellect to confirm me that I am aware? No, the thought comes later. While I remain present, aware. It's just there. I'm aware of it or not. Can the mind do anything to know it ever? No, the mind never knows this presence. It can only engage ina commentary about things. But is that commentary vital to my own being? Nope. So that means I AM with or without any authority or commentary. These appearances, they really are illusions. They feel so real when you're caught by the throat by them. They lose all power when you remember your self. It's the most unbelievable thing ever. Every time I remember my self, it is just there. Untouched, unaffected, aware. Isn't this entire field of phenomenal experience known? yes. Is there a break or a hole or division in that seamless knowing? No. Am I aware? What is it that knows this entirety of experience? Is that pure knowing of this world? On whose behalf thinking is done? Who is the central character of all this narrative? where is it? Do I remember my Self?

@Strikr Contemplation on one's own death is for living a good life. Right now. Just for this life. It not about speculating what happens afterwards. Who the hell knows anyway? At the end of the day, they are just our beliefs and assumptions and they probably won't make it to the other side hehe.. But while we're in this game, the only certainty is that this game is not gonna last forever. There is hardly any other thing more sobering that than.

Memento Mori: Remember that you're gonna die. Undoubtedly one of the greatest lessons I've ever come across. I've yet to come across a single truly self actualized and wise person who hasn't seriously contemplated with his own death and thus have a mature relationship with his mortality. If there is one thing that's truly ours in this world, only thing certain, it's our own physical death. Nothing can take that away from us. Where do you think all these values, search for knowledge, spirituality came from? It is all because of death, our very short finite life. If there was literally no end there would be no search for anything. Death is the full stop. Any worthwhile adventure, search and wisdom comes from being aware of one's mortality frequently. So what does the ego or the devil need to do to ensure it's fictitious existence? Bastardize and avoid death at all cost, usually through incessantly distracting itself. And thus we got the 21st century, where everyone has opinions about everything except facing the thing that matter the most. Death, my bestest friend, thanks for recovering my life. @Your place at Heart your story is inspiring and bold. Such a transformation can only come from tapping into something REAL like death. Thanks for sharing.

Am I aware? yes. This whole thing boils down to this: knowingly being what I am. That means knowingly being a conscious being. It sounds so loopy and sort of like meaningless semantic game. But oh boy, it flips the entirety of experience upside down, totally recontexualizing it. Attention, which is the knowing element of experience, takes very different shape or mode. My experience or my world is nothing but how attention functions and knows. During the fragmented state, when I assume myself as a limited thing stuck within an object, attention seems to be very pointy and sticky. The sensation in the head is felt and immediately attention seems to pierce into that experience and sticks itself there, creating a separate identity out of that sensation. From there follows a myriad chain of unquestioned assumptions and justifications that suggest how I am a human stuck in a limited human body sensation. But when the knowing of the same experience is noticed, the entire ego paradigm just collapses. Immediately. Without any time delay. Attention seems to take the shape of a soft infinitely big round sphere within which all experiences are known without making distinctions. Notions like direction, location, object and non object don't make any sense experiencially. It just feels utterly natural and the first thought that follows is how can anyone miss something this obvious. Last few days have been a roller coaster ride, shifting between these 2 modes incessantly every few seconds. Yet at the same time, it feels like nothing has really happened. What can happen to That which is immovable, unconcerned, untainted, unprotected, untouchable, free? Maharaj, you were right all along. All my dilemma is due to a mistaken identity. It all stems from forgetting my Self.

Am I aware? yes. I am aware. I'm alive. What can be more magical than that? There is only a current of self awareness. There is no control or can be any volition on anything. There is only knowing. Knowing what? I don't know. Only knowing. From the light of self-awareness there feels to be no distinction between knowing one thing over another. There is no thing, just knowing. Am I aware? Could I be anything else? What is the source of this knowingness? Which direction can knowingness go to find more of itself? The entire field of experience is pervaded with knowing, through and through. Being aware of being aware. What is the magic of this approach? If the self is remembered, then the entire race gets won. If the self is forgotten, nothing makes sense, everything becomes chaotic, even an infinite movements too do not make any change to the situation. This knowingness is not restricted to any special or specific part of the body. Everything gets known equally. It's so glaringly obvious, so simple yet so easy to overlook. This non located, non objective experience of being aware, being present, now. Eternally. What is eternity?

Watching Leo's SD videos, Vlogs and some thinking on my own led to this insight. "Cultures evolve through a SD sandwich model" This is how the explanation came. Generally speaking, beige, red, orange, yellow are individualistic/materialistic while purple, blue, green, turquoise are collective/spiritual oriented. The sandwich model works like this. A culture at a certain time, is grounded on one stage(meat) which is sandwiched by the color before and after it. The meat stands firm while both sides are at tug of war for power dynamics. The reason is this: man has both individual and collective aspects in his life which is exercised by where the culture is at. For example, USA as a whole right now is grounded on orange. It is sandwiched by blue and green waging war with each other. Orange is caught in between reacting to both depending on situations. What I mean by the meat is, if a citizen needs to channel his individual pursuits, he doesn't need beige or red. He can do it in an orange way because that's the current norm. But when it comes to exercising the collective aspects, he is caught between the war of blue vs green. So the current challenge of USA is not a material problem but a collective/spiritual one. I'm not saying that a person jumps from blue to green skipping orange. Its more like when blue values channel into orange, so do orange values channel into green because a man needs to put up with both individual and collective aspects simultaneously. Now let's say in 200 years USA shifts completely to green. That will be end of all blue religions. Green will be sandwiched by orange and yellow. It will then be a materialistic problem for USA as orange and yellow will be tugging for power. Manipulative materialism vs systems thinking. A child taking birth in that culture will go straight to green to exercise his collective/spiritual aspects because green will be established and thus purple, blue are not needed. So you get the idea. Finally, I don't think a culture will go full turquoise as a whole ever. At best case scenarios, there is always going to be healthy combinations of yellow-turquoise because man will always have both individual and collective aspects according to his unique temperament. So that's the ultimate vision of all cultures. To reconcile this spiral dynamics sandwich into the unification of yellow-turquoise. In such a culture, man wouldn't need selfish manipulations to exercise his individual aspects. And he wouldn't need ideologies and dogmas to exercise his spiritual aspects. An Utopian vision indeed

God is the real player. Devil is the NPC. Know your place son

Am I aware? yes. Feeling especially raw and heavy today. It's so easy to get complacent, so easy to forget. How can you not see the only thing that is going on? it's only possible when you're dreaming. yeah of course...only while dreaming it is possible. It requires a trial by fire to break through the initial hurdles. Death awareness. this thing is not gonna fly without being driven by the raw energy of a rabid dissatisfaction of living as a lie. Am I aware of my finiteness? what am I doing? Every moment not being aware is a moment wasted. But the funny thing is, I can't force myself into awareness. In fact there is no process to awareness. Either I'm knowingly aware or not. So much of the time, the I tends to stick with a sensation on the front head part. A phantom entity trying desperately, constantly to take a shape and declare it's own individual existence. Is that really what I am? A sensation in the head? Really? that's the driving center of my whole life? all thoughts, motives, judgments, resistance coming from there? It's the most absurd thing. How can such a thing exist? it seems so silly when seen properly. oh then I remember ego doesn't exist. I feel stuck because i imagine myself to be stuck. Really, there is no other way for me to be stuck. Can I see through my bullshit and still believe in it simultaneously? it just doesn't work.

@Sven Very good point! When you're Enlightened, you discover yourself as the naked awareness only. But unfortunately naked awareness can't walk around, have sex, eat food and do work. So it slips back into only the attire it had, the same old character, but never get fooled by it anymore. That's why after major awakening, many people need a period of integration before starting the activities of the world again. From there, their character is like a costume and it keeps on getting refined over time by the shining awareness.

Btw human population is way too big to generalize into one box. If one thing in phenomenal creation is apparent, it is the diversity. Almost nothing in nature is ever the same. How can you shove 8-10 billions of people under one category, one strategy. Let those who resonate with being a leader, become a leader. Same goes for everyone. Whatever resonates. No point in taking one perspective and trying to fit it into and explain through another perspective.

now that sounds like Tantra misunderstood and taken way off course

@Leo Gura Omg how could I miss it? Finiteness. Of course...that's what all these knowledge and activities are about. Every volition comes down to this, ''How to make the best out of this finiteness?'' Thank you

''Tolerance, Universal Love, mystical Union with God and loving all lives as his own life''

@Joseph Maynor A full awakening which is the absence of all perspectives aka the absolute Truth, do you think it's possible to frame such a thing with another perspective?

Until that sweet game compels you to be a cog in the machine to produce sweets for others. Just kidding Ultimately nothing gets better or worse forever. There is always an end. It's called death. Also human mind is complex and operates through hedonic adaptation. Even Leo mentions that he forgets some days how bad his early careers were, taking his present condition as the norm if he is not vigilant enough. So it always boils down to that bastard yapping inside...one way or another

So coral=full Enlightenment? Abiding non dual awareness?

@Devil And many woo woo gurus make their own cosmology and spiritual evolution claims out of that. I remember seeing videos in the past, where a guru claims things like this, '' by August 13th, 2015 two third of human population will tap into 5d consciousness, merging with *some aliens* from *fancy dimension*"

Everyone is so...devil

Enlightenment is said to be the ultimate Truth, irreducible, self-evident and nothing can be more obvious. That means if Enlightenment somehow falls on someone's lap who never had an idea such a thing existed, it should be crystal clear what is happening and where he is at. But the Enlightenment stories of people like Eckhart Tolle, Ramana Maharshi, Jed Mckenna (just to name a few) kind of say otherwise. These people were generally ignorant about the whole non dual thing. When they got Enlightened either by accident or by the natural introversion of their mind, their initial response was probably not ''YES! I've known the ultimate nature of Reality, there is nothing else to know'' ; but more like '' wtf has happened to me?''. They would later spend years looking for answers to what actually happened to them in various philosophies and when they come across non dual philosophy, then they would confirm that these scriptures are verifying their present experience. So does it mean that this whole Enlightenment business has to be done like Advaita proposes? Namely putting up the hypothesis of Ultimate Truth, followed by honest philosophical inquiry, followed by the direct realization of the hypothesis? It makes me wonder about the very first few people who got Enlightened. Navigating after Awakening must've been so alien to them. I know trying to talk about post-enlightenment is barely possible and waste of time in most cases yet I'd appreciate it if some light is put on this matter from one's own experience. PS: By Enlightenment, I do not mean a glimpse that came and went as if nothing happened but a permanent shift after which there is no going back. I mean the point where the 'victim's' whole life turned upside down in some sense. @Leo Gura @Shanmugam @Saumaya @Azrael @cetus56 and every other Enlightened fella here I forgot to tag

Am I aware? yes. Let's explore this simple knowing of my own being, this presence, this sense of I Am. Do I need to do any particular activity to know that I Am? No. Activities come and go but the I Am remains. Do I need a special, esoteric knowledge or read a book to that I Am? No. This I Am is prior to any objective knowledge. Do I need to fulfill a certain condition or formulate a particular circumstance to know I AM? No. There seems to be line of thinking that says that I cease to exist in deep sleep. It says that I can only exist in relation to an objective experience. But is there any objective experience that has been unchanged, absolute and ever present? No. There is memory of deep sleep because there no objective experience to remember. Memory can only store objective knowledge. So does a loss in memory prove non-existence? No. After all, to know that I Am right now, do I need to rely on any particular memory? Also, I can't remember point by point what happened yesterday or just few hours or minutes ago. Does that mean, I ceased to exist at those points? No. Do I need other people or some other thing to know I AM? No. This knowledge of I am is direct and it does not need reflection from some other entity. Do I need time to know I Am? Is this knowledge I Am a progressing or devolving thing into time? No. This simple knowing of being is always the same. How many hours of meditation do I need to know I Am? none. Can any activity or thought truly veil this knowledge I Am? No. There is any activity in the first place, because I am. So this is the direct path, where we start at the finish and stay there.

Thanks guys! Some great insights here @Mikael89 You seem to be struggling for quite a while. I think the best course of action for you would be to quit this place for few weeks, get bunch of note pads and keep writing old school style. All your thoughts, judgments, arguments, counter arguments about anything and everything that come up. Get all that shit out of your system. Staying here and reading random stranger's random post and trying to glue it all together to your own worldview is only making you more confused everyday. Hope this message finds you in a good and receptive way

Am I aware? yes. This knowledge or knowing that I exist or I am, let's explore this. Exactly what is the nature of this experience of I am? It certainly cannot be framed conventionally with language, like the statement ''I am looking at the monitor'' which splits a whole, seamless, homogeneous experience into subject, object and a process of perception. Right now, am I aware? yes. What exactly is this knowledge I AM made out of? Is it a conventional sight or depended on a particular sight? No. Is it a conventional sound or depended on a particular sound? No. Is it a subtle mental image? Does a mental image need to occur continuously to know I Am? No. Is it a subtle mental story or thought or narrative? Does a particular mental sound need to continue constantly to know I AM? No. Is it a bodily gross sensation or dependent on such a sensation? No. Is it a very subtle feeling or depended on a particular subtle feeling happening constantly? No. Actually all subtle feelings and their changes are known. But the knowing cannot be located as an object. What is this presence that knows every single thing but itself not located or has the characteristic of a thing? It undoubtedly exists and moreover there is really nothing called a 'thing' if it is not known. This knowingness, this I Am seems to be a footprint of the Absolute in existence; a portal to the absolute. Rest as this I Am and eliminate everything that does not go with it, says the teaching.

Am I aware? yes. Right now, in this very moment, do I honestly know that I exist? yes. I want to explore this knowledge I am today. What is the fundamental difference between the experience I am and a conventional outside experience, let's say me looking at the monitor screen? This experience of me seeing the monitor screen, what are the metaphysical foundations behind this experience? Certainly the way language frames it is this: A subject called I is somehow connecting with an object called monitor by an act or process of seeing. This quality or ability of seeing, whose fundamental quality is it? Obviously it's the quality of the subject I. So this this model presupposes that the object and the subject are independent two things, connected by a process of seeing. It takes a narrative or language to frame this experience into this three part manner. I am looking at the monitor. What does this statement really mean? Not just as a verbal understanding but as an actual understanding. If I look for this subject called I, where is this subject really located? If I keep tracking it back, do I find such center? A subject that itself is not an object. The seeking attention can go back and back indefinitely without finding such a subject. So 'I' in the statement I am looking at the monitor collapses. I is no longer an objective phenomena anymore. So how does that statement get framed now? The monitor is being seen. So here is basically two fundamental parts. An object called the monitor is seeming under a process called seeing. Now what is this seeing and the monitor? In my direct experience, are there two distinct thing that is being known? Namely an objective thing called monitor that remains independent no matter how it is looked at, and secondly the seeing of that monitor which is completely dependent on how it is looked at. If I get close, the monitor gets bigger. If I get a little far, the monitor gets smaller. Am I aware of 2 things here? 1) An objective monitor that stays the same no matter how I look at it 2) the seeing of the monitor which is constantly changing depending on angle, range etc. In my direct experience, have I ever came across such a monitor like the number 1 statement describes? No I only have always known this 'fluctuating' monitor. So there is no independent monitor but only the ever changing seeing of the monitor. Then if I take the word monitor, it is obvious that it is an arbitrary word and could easily have been replaced by some other word. But more interestingly, this 'fluctuating' monitor I'm seeing,does it then have a distinct location, center of gravity, size, shape and other objective quality? So one hand this 'fluctuating' monitor is the only thing I've even known and now it has lost all of distinct,fixed objective qualities. So this notion of an object called a monitor is also gone. I'll have to sit for another session to dig deeper into the implications of this inquiry but for now one thing is for sure. if a mundane statement like ''I am looking at the monitor'' turns out to be completely groundless, based on ideas that I have never came across my life even for a single time; what does that imply about language and my life? Is what I call my life is only an accumulation of such groundless statements?