Delis

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Posts posted by Delis

  1. Posted

    I think that in a resource-based economic system money could be more purely an universal currency or in other words a means to exchange resources. In the current economic system, money is a vehicle to a dream of infinite economic growth, which ultimately boils down to how spiritually evolved people, communities, companies and states/countries are. If people would be more conscious, even investing and stocks could be a democratic way to promote ideas and endeavors that would likely to produce outcomes that benefit the societies and our ecosystem as a whole.

  2. Posted

    13 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

    For example, when I trip on psychedelics I will actually try to feel what it's like to be a woman.

    Yeah, I have tried that too and partially succeeded, though I'm not sure :P.  In the state of pure being masculine energy starts to fade and there is an opportunity to imagine feminine energy and feminine self image. In those moments I have imagined myself having vaginal energy i.e. sense of  internal genitalia.

  3. Posted · Edited by Delis

    @mandyjw I think that the way people relate to your problems depends on how you relate to your current experience. If you experience life  impersonally this reflects to your communication with others in a fruitful way and even people who you think have quite low level consciousness can more likely make good suggestions for you how to approach the problem. Life might surprise you.

  4. Posted

    At the level of experiences, thoughts are objects similar to perceptions. At the level of experiencing, absolute or consciousness, thoughts are temporal modulations, vibrations or coloring of nothingness or consciousness. On the other hand, the whole life is in a way a great thought or hallucination that is imagined into existence.

  7. Posted · Edited by Delis

    Though I posted a Cannabis trip report here a few days ago, I have had most of my intense Spiritual experiences while being sober. My first spiritual experience occurred when I took 60 mg of N,N-DMT 7 years ago and while it didn't permanently erase my ego, it gave a glimpse of the true nature of reality or moreover what wasn't true: story of me and my past and future. In the peak of the experience, I couldn't recall any of my past or imagine my future in any way and the experience was filled with horror on the level of mind. There weren't any entities or anything like that during the trip but quite a pure awareness modulating itself into a cube frame like ones in the 80's 3D video games.

    Some 4 months later, I had my first big sober awakening (a catalyst of which was probably Eckhart Tolle's book New Earth, that I read maybe a week or two before the experience) while watching TV with my family. It was the first time that I could see what was happening without being attached to what was happening: I could see my character watching TV and my family members around me as a one seeming whole instead of separate objects, events and people. I laughed hysterically and my family members must have thought that I was going crazy.

    Following months, I watched a lot of spiritual YouTube videos and read spiritual books of Rupert Spira and others. I had many sober awakenings/awakening experiences filled with ecstasy and "inner luminance", but also quite disorientating experiences such as breakage of the illusion of psychological time i.e. without living a certain kind of reference points of the time that is imagined onto the field of the present moment or consciousness. I also highly doubted the validity of my thoughts both as a phenomenon and their contents and even had difficulties talking with the members of my family. One time the experience started just before I was about to go to my parents house to take care of some minor issue. There was no memory involved during my car ride to my parents' house but instead I was tightly bound to the present moment to the point that it was unsettling/terrifying and when I arrived in my parents house and talked with my mum, there was absolutely no separation between my mum and my character and the whole conversation seemed pre-destined and there was no experience of freedom in it. My thoughts later were that this kind of state of consciousness couldn't be maintained continuously. I started to see things coming to me (consciousness) while walking or driving a car instead of me moving in space and at a certain moment after meditation while sitting all the the things of personal me except the racing heart vanished and within an hour after that experience there was a shift in the energy of my thoughts and how they were perceived: it seemed as thoughts suddenly went silent so that there was not only no sound to them but thoughts also disappeared as soon as they appeared into the "void" of consciousness. 

    Following two years I had minor spiritual experiences (such as telepathy, i.e my character and other character receiving the same thought(s)) and stabilized most of these experiences at least to some extent. But at the same time my cognitive function wasn't very good, but this was quite alright as though I was unemployed, I had enough savings so that I wasn't too concerned of my finance and basic survival. After these two years I started to have serious upper GI problems (on top of IBD that I have had for a long time) and lost my weight to the point that I looked very skeletal. At the same time my ego started to rise again, perhaps because the survival of the organism was at stake. Since then I have continued to have various health problems and I have learned and continue to learn to balance a state of being or pure consciousness and survival mode or ego.

     

     

  9. Posted · Edited by Delis
    smoked -> vaped at 200 °C

    I vaped at 200 °C some 0.33 g of very good quality Blue Dream (apparently popular strain among meditators) during about 3.5 hours (in doses of 0.15, 0.09, 0.09g about 1.5 hours apart) last night and made great experiential revelations like those described in e.g. Leo's recent videos and Rupert Spira's teachings. The effects really started to kick in after the second and third dose. I usually make notes during the trip and this particular strain has been the most fruitful in terms of contemplation and introspection as it induces a nice "warm frosty", open tone to the experience and doesn't mess up with my memory too much. I guess the sense of openness is due to that while being very dissolutive it doesn't induce head pressure so it is easier to let go of your "thinking mind" as there is no pressure or intense vibrational energy in the head area that can be identified with. It has the potentiality of revealing the vibrational aspect of experiencing very clearly and assist in removing/seeing through the resistance. The vibrational aspect resembles in some sense that of N,N-DMT (which I smoked 60 mg 7 years ago and that perhaps initiated my spiritual journey).

    Here are some of the revelations from last night:

    -I awareness is all there is, there are no others and no you as a character, life in unfolding, there is nobody behind the wheel

    -life is consciousness in action or consciousness's dream

    -life is a pong game between the realm of experiencing and experiences or the substrate and the dream and content of the dream: experiencing is total freedom and in a sense total madness (not in a negative sense), the realm of experiences is a roller coaster with ups and downs

    -all that is needed to enter experiencing realm is to stop imagining that things, people and objects have a reality on their own

    -when I close my eyes, some part of "the world" literally stops existing or moreover a part of hallucination is replaced with a new kind of hallucination a substrate of which is still essentially the same

    -although there are no others and you as a character, "best of both worlds" can be taken when bouncing the ball between the realms of experiencing and experiences is learned, that is, the love towards life or all aspects of experiencing is learned

    -birth and death are an illusion or moreover, they happen all the time at the level of realm of experiences

    -when experiencing realm is not dominant, all kinds of spiritual thoughts and explanations are imagined. This has an energy or vibration of longing that feels like contraction from the realm of experiencing

    -when life is trusted, its unfolding accelerates and the reality of real you or experiencing is seen to be behind the experiences of the world

    -the existence of afterlife is totally dependent on whether experiencing imagines it into existence. It's a free market. Essentially afterlife means that some form of memory is retained after the "death". But this memory might only prevail in the beginning of new form of existence and once this new life gets really interesting memories of the past life start to fade away and the realm of experiences has totally transformed. While if no afterlife is imagined then the realm of experiences is reset at once without "transitional phase". Choose either you like. So, if after this life heaven is imagined (naively) as a dream where the character is some sort of a superhero and world is beautiful with no suffering, it will appear. Or in some form of more or less an alien-like experience (this experience is already alien in a sense). Or if no afterlife is imagined experiencing returns to its "pure form" and a new life without memory of the past lives is imagined or hallucinated.

  11. Posted · Edited by Delis

    I have had some heavy metal toxicity symptoms (pain in extremities, muscle cramps all over the body, tinnitus etc.) after administration of gadolinium MRI contrast agent early this year (I have IBD what might have contributed to inability to detox/withstand the gadolinium retained by the body).  At the same time, perhaps because of heavy metal symptoms or because of the shock that I got symptoms from what was supposed to be a routine examination, I started to have mental health problems including severe depression and anxiety and also depersonalization like-symptoms. I have done detoxing with NAC, Biosuperfood (algae recommended in GAD-toxicity support group) and various other supplements and adjusted my diet and that has already helped a lot (also time helps). I used to do weed every now and then, but after the MRI incident I was completely sober from all the substances for about 5 months.

    When I first re-introduced weed, to my surprise, it didn't make my mental heath problems worse, on the contrary. I could regain some enthusiasm and orientation towards life and also have made great spiritual revelations under the influence though I have been on this journey for about 6 years. The crucial thing about the weed was the strain. Blue Dream, which is a popular strain among meditators, seems to be the only strain that I have tried that makes things better but I try not to use it too often, maybe once a week, to not get too hooked on weed though I have some symptoms of psychological dependency already. (By the way, Leo's Actualized.org Music Playlist sounds phenomenal on Blue Dream, have listened it a lot while contemplating :).) 

    So based on my experience I can say that first of all not all weed is the same (most of them cause me disorientation and confusion though confusion can sometimes be good for spiritual contemplation) and sometimes and some strains of weed might lessen your mental health problems. But can't say for sure. I guess it depends on your case and your brain chemistry.