Hulia

What I am trying to say (not sure you have enough empathy to understand), my contentment is none of your business. If you really have a GF, and I hope you have, try there. It will be appreciated.

@Zeroguy I have always been an empathetical person, but more in a sense of non-judging and accepting (well sometimes too much acceptance) than in a sense of healing and nursing. So I have never felt being used like a vest for crocodile´s tears. Maybe you have had different esperience with empathy.

what points for example?

Is it a try of deliberate offence? No, I don´t need empathy. Why should I? I have nothing to complain about, if this is what you mean. I am just saying, that somebody who sees herself in the role relationship coach should at least be capable of empathy. Maybe we just have different understandings of the word "empathy".

Why does it bother you, whether I have a cat or not? Really. You are not very much bothered about other aspects of my life.

You are speaking out of assumption, that any man is better than no man. It´s understandable, because it´s a men´s perspective. Yes, we both, men and women, need and love sex. But the men are in bigger need than we, because of their physicality. So it might be valid for you : better any woman than no woman. But not for us. Speaking about Teal Swan her problem is not so much high expectation (who of us is rationalizing?) but a lack of empathy. And generalization, but it´s the same as lack of empathy - the inability to take other person´s perspective.

It´s not hyper rational, it´s just rational. It means, that I am able to give up rationality for emotional contentment if the situation requires. Because I rationally know what is important and what is not.

Lucky you. Last time I felt the same with somebody was 3 years ago with our CEO. Sometimes we said the same thing or joke simultaneously and looked at each other and laughed.. and looked at each other... But now he has gone. And I have no chance for this type of synchronisity with any man around me, because I am too developed.

It´s not that easy. It would be, if a woman were a man, but she is not. For woman it is not enough to have sex with some body, there should be an emotional connection, otherwise sex is no fun for a woman. And here we are - men and women balanced. With how many of 50+ interested guys can you create an emotional bond? With not so many. At the end we are facing the same problem as you, guys - irregular sex Nothing is easy on this planet, for nobody. And the only source of this uneasiness is a physical aspect. We should have been elfs instead of humans.

I came back from lake - melting and sunburnt. My skin, tight and glistening, from the cold of the water and the heat of the sun, smelling of summer - of seaweed, of sand, of strawberries. haha! No! I hope, I didn´t do or say something what would let you think this way. Sorry, you are not my type. Go to your teacher, student. ?

@Zeroguy I am going to the lake now (just 5 minutes by the bike from me) Why don´t you ask, is there someone I AM interested in?

I think, the woman of 30-40 just has a heap of broken relationships behind her and an unnerving unwanted husband near her. So she begins the theorization of what went wrong. I came to conclusion it was (partially) sticking to the gender roles, which are a theoretical construct - pure fantasy - on both sides. I mean in the beginning of relationship to create an attractione, gender roles might be quite useful: he plays a super-hero, she plays a weak and fearful princess. But at some point the both should let this rubbish drop. Becaue fear and weakness is common for both genders on the same scale. Otherwise false expectations, disappointment, bitterness, reproaches and mutual disrespect. She suddenly discovers, he is not a super-hero, and he suddenly doesn´t find his fearful doe any more, but a fireful hyena. Swan came to the opposite conclusion. The relationships break up because one part (of course it´s a male part) doesn´t stick hard enough to its role I really wonder, how her BF looks like, who is this poor guy?

@Peter Miklis Why do men on this forum post her videos and are so ineterested in stuff she is talking about? If she isn´t even attractive? If a man would like me to change myself for him (according to his idea of how a general female has to be), I would rather change a man. Not that I am generally not willing to change maself, yes I am! But not in the sense to please somebody - it´s degrading. Why so many men on this forum are willing to change themselves because this stiff cold woman wants them to? There is no integrity in her, no empathy. She is absolutely not capable to take the perspective of other person. There exist no other persons for her. Only a theoretical male and a theoretical female.

For yourself you preserve a financial stuff, and I should deal with some random cat? I told you million times I don´t want it. Wish me... idk... travelling... kind of work and travell. Living in different places and different countries. The circumstances are getiing ripe for this kind of life.

Patience? Did you tell her, that you have a GF, which you won´t leave? What are you expecting of her? To be your number 2? Forget it. No woman will be ok with it. I hope, she´ll find soon a nice BF

@Zeroguy Now I´ve got it. You agree ON her, not WITH her. ON her WITH me - you agree. I have problems with these small bridge-words. I thought, you wanted to annoy me. Sinse this is what you always want.

If you agree on Swan, your not my muchacho any more. It´s better we part our ways at this point. Forget your chica. Your teacher doesn´t bother me. It´s a scientific interest. I am trying to understand male psychology. Why for example that hippy IT guy was so crazy about my colleague. If he likes this type of women he shouldn´t be hippy. It´s illogical.

I could easily be a friend with Vzdoh, though I have nothing in common with her. And she is biased, but well who of us is not? As long as she doesn´s impose her biases on other people, I would be perfectly ok with her. But Teal Swan is ABSOLUTELY NO NO NO! If she were my colleague I would try to change a department or a company. I had such a colleague once. But luckily she´s become pregnant. By a lawer. It was very important for her that everone knows, she is pregnant by a lawer. How she has everything under control in her life: a lawer, a work, a hippy-type IT guy, who is always there to solve her IT problems and all the other people who absolutely need her advises on everything. Always presented herself like independant woman with a high self-esteem. She invited us in restaurant before her maternity vacation. (Our boss payed at the end and she didn´t even say a word). Her lawer came almost an hour later. Fell on the bench on her side with a discontent grimace and began smoking. She - high pregnant, all of us - no smokers. And she didn´t even says something like: Darling. look, I am pregnant, my colleagus don´t smoke, can you go 5 m further to smoke? I could feel a tension in the air, nobody was comfortable any more.

On the other hand I don´t understand the male psychology. They might like stiff, cold and hypocritical women like Swan. They really often do. Even a guy has a teacher as GF. I wonder if she gives him lectures about what is expected of him. And whether he misses them when he is with another girl who likes him how he is.

In the 1st world countries we have a luxury of just having fun with each other- the guys and girls, the women and men. Well a little of investment calculation in Excel, but still a lot of time and money for fun - more than in other countries or centuries ago. Why does swan want to deprive and destroy and force the rules, which might be necessary for survival but not for fun.

I wonder if Teal Swan has a BF. I cannot imagine a guy with her. I would ask him, why does he do it to himself? I would recommend him to take a therapist.

Can´t your guy change his psychology for a while? How do you know what i sthe best life for him? You could experiment with this guy. Maybe what you think is not good for him, will be perfect.

This story btw took place on Crimea. The dumb guys were from Sevastopol. I don´t need to think to twice to know what side this security bunch took in 2014. Crimea. Beautiful place. But cursed. THe crimean tatars shouldn´t have been deported from this place in 1944, shouldn´t have been murdered.

hahaha. How are you sure it´s spirituality and not lust?

Cannot relate. I am slow-minded. I cannot switch quickly from one man to another.