Elton

Hi guys, I would love to hear few stories of your life on when you felt really happy.

I admit to not being very aware maybe I'm a baby in this awareness field but things were so much better when I was totally unaware, I didn't know about the potential inside me I thought I would just do a mundane job earn some money start a family and be happy, I didn't know how needy I was, how unsatisfied I was how unfulfilled I was i didn't know that I could systematically engineer my life, quit not only external bad habits but internal bad habits too, I didn't know how much of a victim I was, having knowing all this leads to frustration more than the possibility of making these thing happen, and that even all this is not going to give me happiness, oh my fucking God! Such a big gap in the vision I'm so far behind. I just wish I was unaware, and ignorant to all these things the people all around me thats what I was before they seem so happy. If I would tomorrow, I will definitely die with a smile on my face not because I have accomplished all this but because I have escaped all this!

@Arik @Atom @Mal @Salaam @Piotr thanks guys a lot for hearing me out and giving some advice thanks a lot. Thanks @Leo Gura for this forum really appreciating this.

I'm going to sleep now into the ocean of unawareness thats the only place I find peace. Away from reality, away from the world, in my real fantasy land.

@Mal what is this curitive aware? I am doing consciousness work but this awareness is fucking my head more aware of emotions, mostly negative, more aware that I'm assigning meaning to my emotions, more awareness of no control over anything. But its not curing, seems like I like being miserable :-( I just cannot allow good feelings except for pleasure.

@Elton@MalI cannot help being angry and frustrated am I'm aware of these emotions. I don't remember being happy, happiness I cannot feel.i just cannot.

@Mal Looks like you are pretty aware.. Then why don't you give me some techniques to be more aware? And also tell me how to judge weather others are really aware of their emotions or they are just taking Leo's words and shifting it around in a dream?

Its hard to accept things as they are when you realise that you can be so much more, it becomes even more hard to notice that you can be so much more but you don't have clarity in what exactly you want to be.

But aleast I quit weed and Facebook and sitcoms and TV I had quit cigarettes too but now I'm using awareness as an excuse to smoke but i really hope that awareness will cure me.

Sorry guys these are not the things the forum focuses on, i could not help posting,I'm neurotic,starting my own business that ain't meeeee, consciousness work that ain't meee,being more positive that ain't meee, non of that stuff is me these are the things that I don't say but my emotions act like this the emotional mind is going bonkers. I'll try to focus on positive stuff though,I don't know what to do patience hope and faith and Actualized.org is all I have along with the life purpose course, but the more I do this work the more frustrated and disappointed I get.

@MrPeak thanks a lot for sharing

@jes action should be taken to avoid procrastination, I read a book recently by Martin medows he says that procrastination can be used as a tool to identify what you really want to do.. For eg if you are supposed to study and you procrastinate studies and do some painting then maybe you should be an artist and not what you are studying. However it all connects to your life purpose, if you've found it and your really passionate about it you won't fall in the trap of long term procrastination.

@Muhammad no books but Actualized.org a video on this topic I don't remember the name but it will be very helpful if you search it.

@mattZ start with a public journal here at this forum, every month update it,every day update your personal journal at home, I downloaded this app simple mind so that I can categorize and keep stats of my day to day activities and at the end of the month journal it here. I've been slacking off a lot lately but i know I will get back on track.

@dboyle no mastery is a process, no matter what your values are you can follow this process

I just read the psychology of man's possible evolution yesterday and I need to read it in bits for 5-6 days, but the quotes that Leo had psyched were still fresh. However I realised that Actualized.org is a school, a multilevel school, a different type of school.. So the point of my post is that we can make the best of it,and ace it. All the best.

@Carrie there is a video on actulized.org on how to study.

@Carrie there is a special faq section at the end of the course

My dear actualizers, I just keep falling back again and again to tabbaco addictions,I am aware of how homeostasis works,I am mindfull about the triggers that causes me to go back to it,I practice self acceptance its hard to love this part of me most of the time, but still I try to accept it as much as I can. It should happen this way because it has happened, I want a support system, please help me, give me some love and compassion,I'm not afraid to reach out I feel lonely sometimes I feel empty, I know its the root cause but I want to take full responsibility and I want a support system,I want some true friends, I want some connection, I know I'm asking for too much in this orange world all I want is some green.

Ayla... Is it necessary to get panic attacks after initial seeing? I'm scared of enlightenment work too now.. Isn't there a rosy way to get enlightened like meditation for decades and then you realise that you don't exist? And no attacks and all?

Its been over a year I've been meditating missed a handful of days but in the last 100 haven't missed a single day, however I just noticed lately the negative dialog man o man its so devious I hadn't had a clue of how negative my thinking was positive thinking! Positive thinking was taken so lightly by me a few years ago but not any more, tabacco has any link with negative thinking? Cause I've experienced alot of shit in the psyche when I smoke, and Upper limiting I cannot understand how I can Upper Limit every day to be Upper limiting you need to go up I cannot see any progress in anything. And man starting a small business shit, I'm sooo scared after seeing leos latest video had under estimated that too, Homeostasis, fuck! Today I realised the higher consciousness homeostasis, my mom calls me a hermit cause I quit seeing tv and news and dad says I've gone mad performing self hypnosis every night, my good friend says that my attempt to gain emotional mastery and accept things the way they are just because they exist says thats it is a problem in some part of my brain the frontal lobe, tabbaco is an obvious homeostatic point...people wonder how can I work for only 8 thousand rupees being so qualified that too I don't get 2 thousand from there cause only if I complete a year I will get it. Detachment from money becomes so difficult when people look down at you and I'm not working in a passionate job so it becomes even more difficult. But I guess I'm obsessed with self improvement, and if by my love it means to burn through the eternal fires of hell I accept that too.

take a three fingers distance index,middle and ring at the end of your palm and press that point immediately after the distance 100 times on each hand for 3 months .

You read new things and try to see if your memory has increased. I would do this every week when I was small I think my memory power has increased after that.

@Wind try restructuring your life so that you can have a sleep cycle of your choice.

@Juan Cruz Giusto how to research what the market place needs? What factors to consider while starting a business. Can you give some resources like an ametures guide to start a business?