Elton

To quit being a wage slave you have to let go of the self image , you have to let go of the ego cause the slave ego is the status quo.

@Feel Good i have faith that there will come a day very soon when I will accept myself and love myself. I guess I will have to do the exercise I have avoided for years the looking at the mirror and saying I love myself

Hello all, I've come across this book called Radical honesty and also many actualized.org vedios point out at being honest at least on a basic level like telling the truth. This haunts the shit out of me I'm 27 and I want to have a family but the problem is that before marriage if I'm radically honest with my future wife I'm afraid of me not being accepted. There are tremendous problems in my psyche and I'm struggling getting rid of them pot and cigerrete addictions is one of them. Inability to perform during sex is one of them I'm trying no fap pmo mode in hope that I get cured. I'm anxious about the encounters I've had in the past with different people and different genders and I am afraid of any girl with accept me. I guess self acceptance needs to take place first. This journey is unfolding into a haunted house as all my inner demons are coming to the surface and I can't stop sufferring. Morality is causing a lot of guilt and I can't be at ease. I don't like to keep criticising about my life but there is no other way then releasing these thoughts.

@Elisabeth I'm petrified by the truth and I don't even have a girl friend, just because of all this content I have come across I intute that it's the best thing to do but my balls come in my mouth when I think of being honest my gremlin project all the negative stories and throws smoke bombs of fear... I want to transend this fear and anxiety.. I want to take my life back, I want to have a girl I can be completely honest and loyal to. I want to give all the love I have and not hold back that's why I'm sufferring cause at the current moment I am the complete opposite and I can't be the superior man. I have to end this negative self actualization and stop being the zen devil of self actualization.

@Gabriel Antonio thanks for the advice... That is what I wanted to hear... It's just that I don't want the girl to feel I've cheated her. It's been more than 3 years with actualized.org and initially I had a lot of success but this year a lot of failure.

After two days today I had 2 cigarettes and a j. But I ran did little mood journalling will do a little exercises for emotional awareness . Will see Bruce lee series . I love myself. You are not your act.

2 days no smoking tabacoo , today my girlfriend told me it's over. I felt like shit but I learnt about how we act and we are not the act I actually saw my acting. I think at this point the self deception series will be very important.

The last cigarette I smoked was at 9 30 a.m. need to get rid of this hard addiction either today or tomorrow.

Willingness is a state of mind.. What am I willing to do to achieve the results I want ? Give my body the respect and protection it deserves. Saying no to smoking. because I am willing I will succeed. Your thoughts create your behaviour if you want to change a behaviour,you change the thought pattern and the behaviour changes automatically. What are my thought pattern related to smoking? I'm a slave to addiction.. hmmm So now I will change this to I am totally free. I am totally free.

I was totally lost and totally backslided over the last two months, I just don't know how to overcome addictions... It makes me so sad that I keep doing things that gives me Instant pleasure but I feel guilty later on. At the start the self actualising journey was so beautiful and it was the possibility of my dreams comming true that would make life so interesting.. but now things seems like hell self acceptance is not taking place.

Focusing on the positive , Means I focus on the things which can be done, however this approach is not so instant rewarding as I am doing the good things like implementation of meditation and body weight exercises however I also do the smoking part and it's not really facilitating quitting. Mindfulness will be my next approach.. Mindfulness... all in... from vipassana to labelling and most importantly mindfulness outside formal meditation

Focusing on the positive

Hypnosis? Probably yes

Your doing well on your progress.. I want to create that too

I'm conserned that you might get stuck in a toxic relationship same as that with your mom . However that's a judgement and it reflects completely back on me.

So after marriage where will you being staying with you husband ? I hope you are an independent girl and can at least manage your finances Independently... I live in India and here in villages girls have to depend upon their husbands for money and thus they are not in a very good situation. One tip you could use is assuming 100 percent responsibility.

Another failure in quitting, hypnosis had helped me before but it's too tedious to do it at nights it affects my sleep quality.. Today I'm feeling so at unease and slow , don't understand how to deal with these additions. I wish I could just dissolve all addictions.. why is it that we need to dissolve one addiction at a time ? But dissolving even one addiction at a time would be pretty helpful.

@Rilles you need to stop lying and telling the truth. When you are drinking coke you have already made the choice to drink it... But the fact that you struggle means that you lie to yourself saying that the one part of your being which wins over the part that wants to quit. Like there are two people involved. Its a lie. Practice meditation to cath your self lying and rationalising your behaviour. You may discover your true self.

@Shin joined the forum thanks a ton for the resource

Mumbai

@Samra a women.

@Psyche_92 have you completed the reboot?

@SFRLSFRLiSFRLSF I don't have options neither have I had sex before this is very shamefull for me @Key Elements i didn't understand what you are trying to say with the above mentioned quote.

@Key Elements i did not keep the boundry of monogamy (but didn't have intercourse with anyone else)in my relationship but didn't expect it that my girlfriend would break her boundaries. I am constantly comparing myself with that guy I haven't even seen with whom she slept. When she broke the assumed boundaries it broke me completely, I'm still going through the broken phase... Now issues like low self esteem,perfectionism, loneliness, depression, impotency, lack of confidence, thoughts of my girlfriend,addictions have all come in full force... Neediness has increased like anything! Heavy chest sensations have become second nature... Mindfulness about my neurosis and competitor attitude is causing pain. Scarcity mentality has surfaced up. First my relationship with myself has to improve drastically to have a good relationship I guess

Having Boundaries that cannot be broken is being too regid and making such rules causes a lot of suffering.(cause the rules are often broken) Interdependent relationship with great chemistry, understanding, peace and love is what I'm looking for. A relationship that magnifies love A relationship free of Neediness and possessiveness.