Elton

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Everything posted by Elton

  1. It's really interesting how I became a bit more aware of the projection trap yesterday night before sleeping... I have developed this attitude about always trying to think about self actualization because I love it so much and it seems to be my only saviour. So yesterday I was talking to one of my colleague in my mind saying that she you know I'm not really made for this job cause I don't really like it and I could easily be the best performer here but I don't really want to be one.. I am a psychologist, a counsellor a researcher of well being .... However it just struck me at that moment that who I was talking to ? To my colleague or to my self ?!? Of course I was talking to myself.. I'm not sure if I was giving myself excuses or just it was some honest opinion about myself but I realized how everything we say to others we are actually saying to ourselves... How could this insight be useful? I feel feeling and thinking good about yourself and high levels of self love and compassion for your self will automatically get projected to others, or the opposite might also be true but I guess this would be more easy. Hope this changes my behaviour...
  2. Guess what hurts the most... It's not the opinion of others, but the opinion of oneself, that's because you think that you are a X type of person but when another person gives his opinion about you your opinion of yourself gets hurt, your ego gets hurt. Projection has so many links !! Everyday I'm getting a new insight on it...
  3. I'm always comparing myself with others.. I realized today that I don't really need more money to be happy but because all my other friends are earning more than me it makes me jealous... The same with inability to perform during sex. All these things are good and I must have them but comparison really fucks you up as you see only the outcome but not the behind the scenes... Even though comparison is useless and creation is way better than comparing, I have noticed how comparing lights fire up my ass and motivates me to take action. Is it possible that for some people negative motivation can work better than positive motivation? Maybe it can but it will only limit our possibilities. I heard this quote somewhere You don't prepare to climb the mountain by looking at the bottom, you prepare for the climb by looking at the top, and the top of the mountain is the best possible you and not anybody else..
  4. I have been developing body awareness in the past, however due to my victim mentality and wage slavery consistency of practice has not taken place. As per Napoleon hill failure only means that the plan was not sound enough and it's better to device a new plan. I've failed in completing the life purpose course, I've failed in having sex , I've failed in earning a lot of money.. but still I keep thinking about my mistakes now a days and the reason behind failure. I failed in quitting hard and soft addictions. The reason my plans are not sound is as I make them I don't anticipate failure. And once I fail I go down the spiral . I have to be aware of the feelings in my body when I fail and where the homeostasis is hidden. Honesty about your emotions can probably liberate you. These are some things I could do till the end of 2019 Meditation Shamanic breathing Exercise & stretching Music Enjoying life soberly Yoga Spending time with people you love. Remembering to get out of your head. Positive thinking. (I've been aware of my thinking as I have stopped exercising, meditating etc and have realized how I wip my self with the frenzy.) Developing humor. This work of self actulization is critical if I continue to fail like this I will actively destroy my life . Failure means more intoxicating myself with tabacoo weed etc. It means not being able to perform while having sex It means not having energy to carry out life purpose It means not finding and being on track with my life purpose It means not having self specialized knowledge and it means not developing emotional mastery. It means death for the last one year I am experiencing a lot of failure even though on the outside my life seems good I have a job a family a car only I require a wife from society point of view but my internal life is like hell and I'm burning in the fire each and everyday. Lies, guilt , anxiety depression addictions, morality, perfectionism are all my demonic friends . Succes in self actulization is my only saviour and @Leo Gura can't just this resource of actualized.org be my saviour there are many authors already in the book list do I have to go find other masters too ? Leo you promised us few years ago that our life's would change, yes many people found their life purpose and you have many many testimonials but I too want to be a self actualized individual leo. If this is kung fu , you are my master , I totally surrender to your teachings please make me a skillful master of self actualization.the vision of the self actualized life is completely a contrast to my life.
  5. @Leo Gura hmmm you keep telling me this... Okay. I will try not to worship you. (I'm not really sure if I worship you or I'm a student of self actualization)
  6. No leo no ... You are successful and have many enlightenment experiences, you had many girlfriends too , you have engineered your life @Leo Gura such that you have the freedom to do whatever you want, you have eliminated your hard addictions and created your life purpose you are probably emotionally grounded and we'll rounded... Leo you have so much of practical and theoretical knowledge about psychology... I want to gain all these skills that you possess , I want to be unconditionally happy get rid of my neurosis. Actually you already are my virtual master and I keep learning from you...I am greatful to you. But sometimes I can't take it and I come crying to you I'm 27 and I want to turn my life around I'm a competitor and I have to transition into a creator as you can see i am comparing myself to you and everyone I know ... Getting out of my head and body awareness is the master key for me. I realized yesterday how much energy I waste holding so much tension in my genitals and head and how much energy I waste by thinking negatively by being anxious, how will this change my behaviour? Constant Body awareness, vipassana meditation, active detachment and Sedona techniques
  7. @Mirror of Confusion i contemplate stuff after watching the vedio and it is having a huge effect. All my inner demons are coming out on the surface. The question is will I conquer them using this newly learnt insight or let the fear take over. What I've learnt about myself so far is that I am scared as hell.i am Addicted to fear. I don't allow my self to feel happy or at ease, I got to let go. I got to let go
  8. @TylerJ a superior man will never use his family or work as an excuse to be a wage slave. At least spend an hour a day doing something you love
  9. I am currently stuck in wage slavery it's been 3 years since I am a wage slave. But within this period of wage slavery I have managed to find some time for reading meditating exercising and spending quality time with loved ones, I think around only 20 percent of my full ability..which I would like to spend as the 80 percent is exploited by corporate. However I sound as a victim the root cause is that I don't know what I want to do with life and I'm at the part of the life purpose course where I realize that doing with whatever you love doing is the best strategy. So I love getting my self rid of negative emotions, addictions and learning about it with practical techniques however I keep failing again and again and again. I intute very strongly that going from abstract to concrete is essential I intute that practicing mastery in things I love, having a vision in contributing to society and the larger picture can transform my life entirely. I had confused spiritual work in the last year with not pursuing music, and a lot of mental masturbation which lead me to only loose the progress I had gained during the first year of development. Maybe it was homeostasis or laziness and procrastinate all due to the root cause of not having a definite purpose. Only by living your life purpose you can be totally free as a superior man is free he is free as he does what he loves and this makes him more confident and high on integrity. Bruce lee had the big picture , practiced mastery, but most importantly he had heart no matter what he had to do he would do it he would defeat the enemy and when he would get beaten up by his enemy he would learn from that and how to make kung fu more practical. Be was totally free he had a great sense of intuition. I don't know when I will be free but I have the heart to fight, and because I am willing to do whatever it takes I will break free from this fucking rat race.
  10. Wage slavery and addiction slavery apart from this I'm already spending some time on this and this is ready my life purpose.. after becoming totally free I can have 80 percent of my life back.@ TylerJ
  11. To quit being a wage slave you have to let go of the self image , you have to let go of the ego cause the slave ego is the status quo.
  12. @Feel Good i have faith that there will come a day very soon when I will accept myself and love myself. I guess I will have to do the exercise I have avoided for years the looking at the mirror and saying I love myself
  13. Hello all, I've come across this book called Radical honesty and also many actualized.org vedios point out at being honest at least on a basic level like telling the truth. This haunts the shit out of me I'm 27 and I want to have a family but the problem is that before marriage if I'm radically honest with my future wife I'm afraid of me not being accepted. There are tremendous problems in my psyche and I'm struggling getting rid of them pot and cigerrete addictions is one of them. Inability to perform during sex is one of them I'm trying no fap pmo mode in hope that I get cured. I'm anxious about the encounters I've had in the past with different people and different genders and I am afraid of any girl with accept me. I guess self acceptance needs to take place first. This journey is unfolding into a haunted house as all my inner demons are coming to the surface and I can't stop sufferring. Morality is causing a lot of guilt and I can't be at ease. I don't like to keep criticising about my life but there is no other way then releasing these thoughts.
  14. @Elisabeth I'm petrified by the truth and I don't even have a girl friend, just because of all this content I have come across I intute that it's the best thing to do but my balls come in my mouth when I think of being honest my gremlin project all the negative stories and throws smoke bombs of fear... I want to transend this fear and anxiety.. I want to take my life back, I want to have a girl I can be completely honest and loyal to. I want to give all the love I have and not hold back that's why I'm sufferring cause at the current moment I am the complete opposite and I can't be the superior man. I have to end this negative self actualization and stop being the zen devil of self actualization.
  15. @Gabriel Antonio thanks for the advice... That is what I wanted to hear... It's just that I don't want the girl to feel I've cheated her. It's been more than 3 years with actualized.org and initially I had a lot of success but this year a lot of failure.
  16. After two days today I had 2 cigarettes and a j. But I ran did little mood journalling will do a little exercises for emotional awareness . Will see Bruce lee series . I love myself. You are not your act.
  17. 2 days no smoking tabacoo , today my girlfriend told me it's over. I felt like shit but I learnt about how we act and we are not the act I actually saw my acting. I think at this point the self deception series will be very important.
  18. The last cigarette I smoked was at 9 30 a.m. need to get rid of this hard addiction either today or tomorrow.
  19. Willingness is a state of mind.. What am I willing to do to achieve the results I want ? Give my body the respect and protection it deserves. Saying no to smoking. because I am willing I will succeed. Your thoughts create your behaviour if you want to change a behaviour,you change the thought pattern and the behaviour changes automatically. What are my thought pattern related to smoking? I'm a slave to addiction.. hmmm So now I will change this to I am totally free. I am totally free.
  20. I was totally lost and totally backslided over the last two months, I just don't know how to overcome addictions... It makes me so sad that I keep doing things that gives me Instant pleasure but I feel guilty later on. At the start the self actualising journey was so beautiful and it was the possibility of my dreams comming true that would make life so interesting.. but now things seems like hell self acceptance is not taking place.
  21. Focusing on the positive , Means I focus on the things which can be done, however this approach is not so instant rewarding as I am doing the good things like implementation of meditation and body weight exercises however I also do the smoking part and it's not really facilitating quitting. Mindfulness will be my next approach.. Mindfulness... all in... from vipassana to labelling and most importantly mindfulness outside formal meditation
  22. Focusing on the positive
  23. Hypnosis? Probably yes
  24. Your doing well on your progress.. I want to create that too