Natasha Tori Maru

Honestly this is it though - it's an unending fucking turd fest. Its giving plumber mode. Every time one is found, I turn to find I am the dog shitting them out in a line. Only, I own myself, so I have to bloody bag them up! I suppose this is what we call responsibility

I didn't know Carl was studying neuroscience. I could be wrong, but in terms of neurotransmitters, my understanding was dopamine effects the internal clock. High dopamine speeds it up, low dopamine slows it down. Cortisol & adrenaline slow perception during high stress moments. Sleep & fatigue are interesting as they cause me to misjudge time completely. Minutes can feel like hours - or vanish entirely.

Infinity and God realization - for myself - was an experience. Temporary. It helps with understanding. But it has nothing on BEING. Which is why I think OP's question is valid, as God realization isn't clearly the answer for everyone. Spirituality to me is more about the journey of embodiment. Interoception. No external experience has the answer. Having an aim to be infinity, or the God head, seems counter intuitive to me. Dissolve all definition, when the point of all this is to experience the catalyzing reality of friction, contrast & comparison.

Definitely not saying this is true for you - but this was my experience until all my unconscious behaviors/issues were resolved. I had a relationship that was like being a dog and having my face rubbed in my own shit. And I mean a fucken horrible realization I was a complete piece of turd. After that, I just don't click with any of the sorts of previous partners I was with. I see unconscious behavior is almost everyone, and it's a big turn off. Attachment issues, trauma, father or mother issues. Addiction. Within a few weeks of knowing someone I can see the root issue from the pattern of behavior. Words don't mean shit to me at all anymore. I only look at action. This has led to my current state: foreveralone I am still seeking, but I am much more discerning than ever.

💀 I guess long term means something different for everyone. Long term for me is 4+ years Longest I've experienced is 8 years, shortest 2.

@Joshe Agree regarding patterns, synchronicity and confluences. They have been constant through my life, and your description of your experience mirrors my own. Don't even need to look for them. It is serious meditation that has raised that question 'Is every thought that runs through my head, truly my own?' Because the flavour of these 'other' thoughts doesnt have my unique feeling signature associated to it! This is the prompt I use to investigate the thought. It's always down to meditation, breath. Something inside unknown - why so many orient towards spirituality 🙏

@Carl-Richard My experience of time perception and general understanding mirrors yours. I don't have much to add, only that for my unique experience: time slows for events entangled with negativity - and also for adrenaline fuelled events. The enhanced focus of adrenaline appears to tap into higher frame rate. Enjoyment, pleasure and no task switching speed time perception up. This topic probably deserves its own thread, as perception of time and how events change that perception could be spoken on for eons ☺️

@Davino Along with the supplements, did she smash the water? Normally if one is super hydrated, double clicks the mouse then tries to squirt after riding off that first click - tick tick Boom 💥 😊 Most of the time it's the mind holding you back Congratulations ☺️

Interesting - I experience the opposite perception of time. But I notice a difference in my perception of time nonetheless. So, for myself, I notice my attention span is lower - I tend to switch tasks or drift off more often. This has the effect of making me feel more time has passed. When I am in a singular focused drive mode, time appears to pass VERY quickly. Iron deficiency causes the same effect for me as vit D - time slows down. I showed up as low vit D in blood tests - and also in a genetics and heritage test, which was surprising. I take 5000IU a day, every day.

Does the concept of the 'unknown' come into your definition of desire @Nilsi ? Desiring an experience out of reach. Even desiring an experience or thing one has had previously had, has an unknown element to it. Otherwise we would just have sex once and be done. No point in repeating. For one to be 'whole' I perceive all must be known, the horror of ever knowing. Nothing new, no surprises. The burden of all knowing. No new experience to be had. Only on this material plain, separated, individuated, can desire exist. Hence the inseparable nature of it with reality. I might be missing the mark here, just half baked thoughts.

At first it was becoming aware of my thoughts, and how they flow. Noticing a thought arising during meditation, and just being witness to the natural chain of logic and feeling that arose. EG: "I forgot to chase up the cladding, shit. Now we might be fucked for that schedule, I'll miss the date. Better call the client and move the crane hire back. Rewrite the program and delay 2 deliveries." - during this thought chain, I feel a mixture of upset and frustration I was not responsible. Mild worry at contractors not being available due to all the rescheduling, and facing a problem where I cannot estimate most efficient path/duration. The above thought and feeling path has a familiar taste to it. I have learned these are my own unique patterns and thoughts. What is beginning to happen, is I am picking up thought chains either midway in a chain, or completely random ones just pop into my head. Sometimes they have a feeling to them that I don't perceive as familiar. EG I'll be walking back to my apartment and need to grab my keys from my pocket to swipe in. "Don't reach behind your back, you will hurt your arm overextending. Never put your keys in your bag" This thought doesn't come from my natural flow - and meditation and awareness of my typical thoughts has shown me this. I am able to identify it. Coupled with the above, 80% of the time these thoughts have an event associated. In the 'hurt arm' thought example, I spoke to my mum not 10 minutes later and she told me she reached behind her carseat to grab something, and strained her arm. Similarly, a random thought arrived at work 'Use ai to draw up a kitchenette for the joiner' Again the 'knowing' this wasn't part of the familiar 'Tash' thoughts. A minute or so later, my boss walked up with a sketch of almost identical layout to the prompt I had put into AI, with a request to have it made up for supply/install. I didn't have any work on that required a kitchenette to be drawn, I just wanted to test the AI's ability to dimension something - or so I thought. Chalk it up to coincidence? Yeah legit could be. But there are now clear tells to me when I am perceiving myself have a thought that is an outlier. And now strange events are pointing to these thoughts perhaps being external to me. I draw no conclusions, just open to what I am revealing. Now I just want to keep witnessing and watching. This has all arisen as a part of taking meditation a lot more seriously. Do I just assume all my thoughts are my own???

I do agree - I dislike dairy of a CEO actually. But Esther Perel has been around for a long time, and has some alternative views.

I am a freak outlier I think. I don't find scars hot, but I am attracted to them. To me that is a story. That is lived experience. Something impactful another being went through, that might reveal something intimate about them. I genuinely love intimacy, in any way, not just romantic. So for myself - they are an attraction.

Think about it. I admire Leo, as we all do, for the pioneering into the unknown and what he has revealed in terms of the realms of consciousness. He plumbed the unknown and dared to dream there was something to learn there. He was open. He explored. There was no path, he trailblazed the way himself. So why wouldn't others dare to enter into touching consciousness through relationship? Dare to believe there is something to be learned there and a drive that transcends survival? Leo dared. Radical open-mindedness is the aim of the game!

I disagree, this can be touched on this material plain. Even if this cannot be a permanently embodied state. It's like saying, forget trying to awaken because it cannot be permanent. You learn from peaking into awakening and God consciousness - why can't you learn this also in tandem with another? Learn within relationship. Within the power of creation. Children. Union.

HAHAHA this demolished me 😂

Which is the card being played constantly.

Yes exactly. Arguing from the material domain: It's only survival! But also - material world doesn't exist!!! So does the game of survival truly exist? Or are the stakes much higher - that Love is the aim of the game.

Of course, all one shared consciousness - all one great Godhead

Refused to believe in Love between a man and a women. The cure is the reconciliation between the ultimate force of creation, channelled in the masculine/feminine union, and Love as a concept (and force) of God. Why is this separate in so many minds? Because of a steadfast refusal to believe this can be achieved through a man's and a woman's body & consciousness. Why else are we so irrevocably drawn to each other? Survival is a the explanation to fall back to because WE DARE NOT HOPE LOVE IN SUCH A WAY CAN EXIST. But if we believe we are each channelled consciousness, of course this can be achieved. Cognitive dissonance.

I think this is the reframe as an attempt to push for higher consciousness within the realms of relationship.

Brilliant analysis - my experience mirrors yours.

It's very effective - but you need to go slow and try different strengths. Some will turn your face inside out lol Everyone's skin is very different

Never knew this - good interpretation of survival mechanisms translated into what I assume to be actionable steps I can believe this. In terms of attraction and wanting access to a body for a physical transaction, yep. Perhaps 2 mechanisms at play: push pull energy from a man leveraging a woman's approval seeking behaviour - which would attract someone with a pathological issue. Additionally this could also act to attract someone who is addicted to adrenaline, and also has a pathology around misinterpreting limerence/emotional charge with love. The asshole behaviour is most likely going to work because - lets face it, most people in widespread society have some pathology around attachment and the opposite sex. Its very rare to find someone who was raised with a great nurturing representation of love and connection. Attraction and rapport would be the emotional leverage needed to possibly attract a women with whom you could experience a more conscious relationship and physical connection. Junk food vs the chef's degustation menu

It's a very fine line for men. On the one hand, the key to the women is making her feel safe. Which would be the energy you need to project toward her. But she will also need to see a display of strength - that is to say - you are NOT safe... To others. But she remains safe with you 🧩 protecc There's a lot of confusion around this. Lots of men think they need to be assholes to attract women. It's not about that, it's about safety and strength.