Natasha Tori Maru

Hmmm. In my head I ask myself this frequently. I receive many comments I am earnest, genuine and authentic. I wasn't always this way. The transition has occurred over the last 5 years since rekindling the relationship with my father. When I think on the reasons for this feedback, I return to my character being perceived as true expression in the moment. I ensure words align with action. I think people can feel this integrity as power, truth - and humans are drawn to power like moths to a flame. We instinctively reach for power due to conditioning from the survival domain, as it represents safety. When words and actions align and are expressed without need for censure in the moment, it broadcasts strength and resilience. Self confidence and efficacy. That alignment and congruency is like the powerful integrity of carbon atoms in a lattice that make up a diamond. Resilient. Strong. Able to withstand force. Compare that to the higgledy-piggledy out of order carbon atoms in a lump of coal. Brittle. Weak. Breaks under pressure. Both are made of the same stuff - carbon. But the diamond draws you in with strength, power & luminosity. Magnetic radiance. So I think words & actioned aligned, expressed without censure, are a sort of embodiment of personal truth. This truth is powerful. It draws others in with fascination. A responsiveness to reality and a quiet refusal to lie about who you are in order to be accepted. Shame is the protective mechanism that blocks authenticity.

Oh, I wouldn't expect that. In fact, I wouldn't want that! ⁠(͡⁠°⁠‿⁠ ͡⁠°⁠)🖖

Anyway, do not want to derail. More conformity? Houseplants. Can't think of a gift? Generic plant will do 🤣

Zero segue 🙃 I work in the building industry - as a general contractor. I had no skill in the domain prior to joining this business. I learned it all from experience & just applying myself (as well as couching from someone with 35 years in the industry) I am rather persistent even following failure - making an error tends to force me to drive for corrective measures in my knowledge and application. I feel like this is really main quality I have that has lead to success. Resilience. It is really a challenging job that pushes me to my very limit. The best parts about it are creative problem solving & working with hard constraints and variety: no 2 builds are the same. Ever. Many ways to skin a cat. How well you choose the skin the bastard is a function of skill, knowledge, communication & experience. On time and within budget. We do not do domestic - and when I think on it, I wouldn't be half as invested if we did; one of the biggest drivers for me is supporting society by building hospitals, medical centres, science and education facilities. Very, very rewarding and difficult field (to excel in). Which is probably why you see so much bad construction

Through the fog of thoughts and concepts. The human condition that mostly arises from the social domain. Useful, for sure. Valid. But not without the drawbacks of occasionally presenting a distraction from the beauty of being. The beauty of raw feeling, emotion. Sensation. Perception. I think concept and thought is required to arrive at a place of peace after the journey of life. Just my thoughts and experience 🤍

Hiding in plain sight

Seamonkies

@Joseph Maynor How do you define 'direct experience', in your personal view? I admit, mine is a work in progress because at the end of the day I gave it a crack - but I really do not know. I just have some sprinkles of inkling toward it, based in meditative experience

@Joseph Maynor Ha! I was waiting for someone to drive into the assumed definition that would unravel this subject. Speaking for myself 'direct experience' is the codependent subject/object arising of what I constitute 'reality' absent of any interpretation. The closest thing I can get to words pointing to the idea; pure being experience or 'isness'. Subject/object arising beneath thought. Beneath the label. Beneath the interpretation. It is sensation & perception. Thoughts about the experience immediately remove the 'direct' portion of experience. This is why when I reside in a state of 'being' absent of thought, I feel I am closest to nature, existence, reality. Truth. Because nature does not think about itself. Myself absent of thought is the closest I can get to this 'direct' experience. Closest to true nature and reality. This is just my current understanding. So mathematics, to me, is the additional syntactic language humans have created to express natural rules that groups of 'things' adhere to. This is why it feels simultaniously 'discovered' and 'invented'. The patterns appear whether we choose to notice them or not. But noticing them and applying the conceptual 'rules' or language immediately removes one from the direct, sensation based experience of the thing. There is one banana. Now there are two bananas. Mathematics for this reason, to my view, is not direct. This is not to say it does not exist. But that it as a conceptual overlay to explain the playfulness of reality.

I think I am being a bit flamboyant with my language. I think it is more accurate to say I was dejected I was trying to be cheerful, and it was like someone popped my balloon with a giant cinderblock of blunt truth!

Haha I appreciate this! Leo's comment made me so depressed

What is all this reality shit? Incessant questions spawned from there 😃

What?

Is it? Or is it a language? A language is a concept. Or overlay. Added onto experience. The operations surely aren't direct experience: plus, minus, power, root, factorial.... These are man made concepts for observed behaviour.

...As a nootropic Tell me your protocols? I've been taking 10g creatine monohydrate (unflavoured) a day (I am a small person) for brain benefits for 2 months. So far: increased focus increase memory retention zero energy dips through the day attention and complex task application + cognitive ability has improved MARKEDLY. Especially scheduling projects (working with lead times, processes, contractor schedules, delivery timing and dependancies) and unusual problems. I am finding solutions faster and able to execute with more efficiency. This process always involves research and learning as well as formulating a solution so it can be quite taxing. mood regulation lowered incidence of negative moods, especially stress resilience I smash a ridiculous amount of water with it. I haven't noticed any side effects - I am not experiencing any anxiety or water retention. For whatever reason my particular physiology is responding to it VERY well. Weights and running capacity are up. I eat only vegetables, fish, eggs, cottage cheese, nuts and some chicken. Occasional red meat. Drink tea and coffee. I do not consume a lot of meat. Other supplements: Liquid iron, K2 + Vit D + Magnesium & fish oil.

@Shermaningeorgia Do you have many people close to you? Intimacy with family and friends? Do you socialize and get out a lot? Nature? Exercise?

It depends what type of therapy and what you are attending for. In most cases I would say it is highly beneficial. It can be difficult finding someone you connect with - which can prevent patients finding help. It does not do to have to 'shop' for a therapist - but like with anything - the message often depends on how it is packaged. CBT can be hands down fantastic for addressing assumptions and cognitive bias - and this is probably the best type for those with especially high intellect; because the full force of reason and logic stand at the base of beliefs - but the bias (selectively seeing what evidence we want to prove our view) stops us seeing the whole of reality. An example of cognitive bias 'I am hopeless' could be rooted in shame. Someone was rejected in youth by a group - they walked away with the incorrect belief that they 'bothered' the group. They were not wanted or 'wrong' in some way. This turns into social anxiety and never approaching anyone. Shame. Or developing massive fears around any sort of interaction. This is because the cognitive bias is pointing the sufferer to the wrong meaning by only seeing one set of data from experience. In actuality - the evidence they may miss is that the person they approached was busy on the phone, and did not respond because they were engaged in a serious call. But they do not see this, they just see and feel rejection, and the shame spiral is reinforced. The interesting thing is that this conclusion is actually completely logical - which is why the most intelligent people have the deepest bias. The full force of their intelligence is behind it. It is just the wrong data to be looking at. A good CBD therapist can show you the missed data in your experience that you are overlooking. But this requires honesty with yourself and the therapist. If that is not present - any progress can be difficult.

This is at the heart of it. I feel what I propose gets the engine running. But both components are ways to tackle the problem (action, mental work)

I do not quite grasp the point of your entire argument 'all your advice is bad because there is fear'. OP needs tools to build good habits that become reflexes. And that comes from doing. Which arises from courage. Not reducing fear. Hard work is just the building of habits that lowers the threshold for impulse to act. It becomes so low 'doing stuff' is the default. Then there is less energy needed to do the thing. It is simply a reflex. So hard work seems reduced. There's is no thinking needed. Just plain doing. But on this topic you and I disagree entirely. Change the belief through experience/doing to unravel the fear and change perspective. That is all. One needs to to self enquiry to work on the mindset/belief and then take action to apply and gain new experiences to reinforce a new set of beliefs. Or, truth.

@Joshe but that is the essence of my point - you need help if your issues are so deep you cannot function. Which is a side point to the OPs question. Beliefs behind the scenes are the issue. Hard work is still needed. Even what you propose is the very definition of hard work. Your definition of courage is very strange.

@Leo Gura hey boss... Christmas special video? Plez?

Yes my example was an acute scenario, I do agree. I suppose we would need to branch off into acute & chronic fear situations. I am firmly of the opinion any form of chronic fear that is leading to immobilisation and inhibition is a deeper psychological issue that I am unqualified to deal with. This implies that normal operation of the individual is not working - which is one of the criteria that one generally defines for a pathology, and formal diagnosis. I feel chronic fear of this type is not something that can be assisted by myself and requires a trained professional. But the topic of hard work - it is a perspective/belief issue. And I will always maintain that courage is the quality needed as a driver to push past fear. Hard work and labour are a matter of perspective.

Mic drop We cannot be our best for others without taking care of ourselves, first and foremost. As counter intuitive as that can seem. You are directed to put on your oxygen mask first in an air-emergency. Ouch - can relate. Been there (◍•.•◍)♡

It is always the presuppositions that lead to misunderstanding in arguments - the definition of 'intellect' is case in point here! And do we not think this also may tie into the blog post regarding meditation? Because there are many forms of meditation - and we again presuppose one form is being spoken of by Leo. If he is referring to a wider scope of all forms of meditation; then one cannot really have serious intellect without it. The deep enquiry into the nature of existence would mean we address assumptions and presuppositions... we approach our own thinking with such awareness as to go meta with our thinking. To reveal our own bias. Bring clarity and depth to anything we apply ourselves to. We would probably disagree less. Realize where the misunderstandings lie. Be more accurate in our thoughts, logic and derivations. Co-operate on a global scale more. Achieve things never before seen. And maybe, just maybe, we might have higher intellect

@Miguel1 I tend more to relate to your words. @Joshe Do you think attempting to address fear directly is the way though? In my personal experience, attempting to reduce fear or alleviate it does not work. In fact - modern psychology also tends toward this; trying to eliminate fear tends to make it chronic. In fact CBD doesn't 'make anxiety go away,' but tests the belief that fear means danger. You expose yourself with fear present. I have never been able to reduce my fear by attempting to address it directly; I have simply had the courage to act anyway, regardless of the fear. Security never relaxed my fear - for myself - it has been ever-present in one form or another. And simply arises and manifests according to the domains to which I may have some doubt. I allow the fear. I acknowledge it. I breathe in and JUMP, regardless. I challenge this. You can be psychologically stable with profound fear present. You just require courage to act in the face of that fear by radically allowing it. And courage is about permission. Not force. And deep trust. If the above were true - I would have been unable to act to save one of my close family members when faced with grave danger. I was 'psychologically stable' in that I was able to act with conviction and clarity. My grounding did not collapse under pressure. I was filled with fear and still had the courage to act. And assisting in the situation necessitated putting myself in direct danger - increasing fear. I simply do not think reducing fear is the issue; the real issue is the beliefs unexamined in operation behind the scenes. In the shadows.