Natasha Tori Maru

My scumbag hands betrayed me! I was quoted before I could edit - so I felt, I will leave it be

I buttload 😜 I can tell in meetings with clients when they lose context - so I rely on reading body language to scan for confusion as most people don't ask questions when confused. Context appears to be needed for subjectivity - do we think direct experience occurs when context is missing? Perhaps psychedelics delete context

Like... words not actually describing or being the thing it refers to? This issue of words keeps popping into my contemplations in a most unwanted way... some rather rude thoughts from my morning 'walking the dog contemplation' : The word 'LIGHT' Turn on the light - means illumination This crowbar is light - means not heavy I prefer light colours - pale, not dark I am a light sleeper - means easily awakened Same word - four meanings. The only thing that tells you which is which is the context. So my only derivation is that a word doesn't describe a thing on its own - the context activates the meaning. Words are symbols. Not the actual thing. Meaning is not in the word. So this naturally must mess with experience right? See a tree and instead of sensing bark, smell, sound, light flicker - my brain goes 'tree'. Directness is gone, mystery deleted. And I stop seeing - I think 'tree' and the language effectively stole my true experience. And the 'borrowing context' further minces the pie - associations from past uses of a word dump all over new experiences...

I am more bent to the opposite direction - I feel very mundane and always have. Very basic, very boring. I felt my lived experience was very similar to most - although deep down I was rejecting this difference I felt. I never expressed a lot of myself to the external world in an open, authentic & earnest way because I didn't think there was much there to be interested in. Obviously this is tied to having dogshit self worth - which was my main issue, since resolved. Fear of my own potential was another one I had to get at with the demolition crew When I did open up - boy was I shown something amazing! My perspective was welcomed - and not just welcomed - treated like it was alien. And many interactions I have with people - especially when they get close to me - become like this strange thing where I can sense them looking into the abyss within me and they have NO IDEA what they are looking at. And neither do I.... Because I grew up with no TV in an artists studio, removed from normal reality, surrounded by taxidermied animals and human skulls, I have this way of looking at things that is non-standard. I lack of a lot of the beliefs that others have. I understand it now as being akin to someone trying to render a drawing of a vase of flowers. People who proclaim to 'not be able to draw' are literally trying to render the vase how they see it - and what comes out falls short. They feel they have failed - but its not a skill failure - its a failure to really see the constituents of the flowers in the vase. They didn't see it how I saw it. I see negative and positive space, I see the vanishing perspective slightly distorting the form, I see the colours of the objects all around that illuminate the flowers in the vase that the brain filters out. I see a series of shadows and light hitting objects. A cylinder for the vase and millions of circles making the flowers. So I really have this positive outlook for others - I firmly believe people are capable of amazing things. It is just their perspective - that they think they see - holding them back. Like rendering the vase, not a skill issue, a failure to really see what is in front of them. The skill can come later with simple practice. But seeing accurately is key. The truth of the flowers in the vase. Obviously this isn't totally unique at all - simply a creative artists mindset I suspect - but it is a huge difference I simply never realised. But this way of looking at things applied to much of my existence. Even in my construction work - I perceive things others do not. Which means I effortlessly execute things in a way my colleagues do not understand. It is outside their experience so they simply have no idea what is happening. They think it is this magical juju I do... HAHA! It was how I saw things around me that made me different - I had an embedded, deconstructed view. I give credit to my late grandfather for this perspective. Because I never got seriously close to many people regarding this internal vision and how I perceive - I honestly felt I was NOT special. I just knew there was a difference and had no fucking idea what it was. Peoples reaction to me was the evidence of some difference, but I couldn't understand because of us all being locked in our own perception. I projected out my experience, resulting in a lot of frustration with others - and rejection of them as a result. The whole process of attempting to see how I see and showing another was this arduous task I honestly couldn't be fucked engaging in. It is worth it to me now. I just acknowledge the effort of it all. I don't need many people. Just a couple of gems I did get a lot of connection and socialisation when younger. Went aloof, and now a slow return to connection. But seeking a depth I know can be experienced - I just haven't found it yet. I digress - but just sort of marvelling at the differences there! Most of the issue with thinking I was mundane was a product of never really letting anyone in Yep this, I enjoy this. I think the ordinary and mundane is where all the juice of truth lies... No one would think to look there MUAHAHAHAH!

@Razard86 Well said - you are truth

As soon as you say this though - you are immediately stepping into a 'non-acceptance' mindset. You have placed yourself in that state. Actively. What is to happen if you just drop all thought with respect to acceptance? Do we perceive acceptance as an existential component of reality? If yes, we are doing the 'not-accepting'. So this is the art of - not doing. The above also implies there is definitely some self still present

Does Leo have a video on flirting? Because there is a LOT to it - it is really a crafty amalgamation of wit, context, tension, playfulness, charm, boldness, coyness, intrigue, provocation... its often suggestive as fuck also I actually LOVE it - but actively hold back because I dislike leading others on with false expectations. It really gives me an idea of how sharp someone's noggin is

I experience unnecessary suffering only when wedged in the future - or the past. When I am thinking or judging the moment. Experience with perception on top, judging on top, thinking on top. All heaped on top of experience. All manifestations of the self manifest to survive. The future and past are just memories and they aren't directly connected the reality of what I am experiencing right NOW. So they are not real. This usually starts the unravelling of the suffering. Judging is thinking - this is another one that is a narrative people usually insert into their reality. Once you see all the layers you ham-fist on top of your experience, unnecessary suffering dissolves

You might be experiencing large shells of ego coming away and experiencing that sensation of 'no longer getting in your own way?' You say what you mean. No overthinking You don't worry about others judging you for pure expression. You don't 'dislike' the laundry. Just an experience. Stuff becomes effortless feeling? Indication you are walking the path... Perhaps flitting between integrating and realising? There's always a shitload more self, but the process shows you how you are the one who held you back

You will find that this: Will just.... happen

The question would no longer be pertinent upon realization. You would have to enquire - why would you be aiming for something? What do you think we would be left with, after no-self?

There is a lot of time and care put into this. Appreciation, much much

One other con that isn't listed (not sure if this applies in the US, I'm Australian) but a credit card is counted as a debt against you (regardless of balance) if you ever go for a bank loan.

Well, they say if you meet the Buddha on the road, kill him

A human Being

@AlienGeometry sounds like CE5 / Steven Greer stuff ?

This. Is. The. Shit. Conscious relationship. I am a seeker of it. I really appreciate the share - thank you

I do have to remind it to be an arsehole again - so you are on to something there

Are you currently in the middle of untangling your self, your ego, from your base sense of 'being'? When you are on the cusp of something large like this, a big fear block usually shows up. That process was very very destabilising for me. Very frightening. Like falling from a plane in tandem with an instructor parachuting. You feel safe clinging to the instructor (the ego), but you know to experience the fall in the full you must let go. The fear is the fear of letting go, the ego falling away. The unknown awaits. You look down and it appears like insanity - and the more insane part is you have no parachute! No guide once you let go. But when you do, you find there is no ground - and the experience goes. Goes. And goes. And you realise you have never seen the world before. Some of these religious institutions have some good grounding methods (Buddhism) because they know how destabilising the process is. Most of their practice is heavy on the grounding work - grounding is what you need. Of the body. The sensations. Walking meditation. Yoga. Any sort of manual task like cleaning even. A powerful one for me is concentrating on centering myself within my body, just below the belly button. I put all my focus there and it is quite pleasant. I feel a bit better every time. Fear is normal. Fear is actually the ultimate deception. The ultimate block to Love. You can take this work at your own pace. Pause for a bit of you don't feel ready. There is no end, so no rush. The feeling of insanity can be the beginning of disidentifying with thought. Thought is usually the ground of the inner landscape. Scary to delete the ground. That's why you need 'grounding' practice 😜 new ground after you delete the old

You can tailor it with respect to responses, no? Mine is set to some kind of arsehole mode, skeptic over 9000 I altered it a while ago. I was coming up with some different methods to install cladding on a project (tricky access that needed a crane). It was initially more intent on praising me for innovation when my intent was a hard list of pros/cons. How it's built out of the box creates a little echo chamber, if I recall correctly

@Breakingthewall I apologize for being condescending - or that it came out that way. It was not the intention. The intention was for you to be able to hold space for another perspective and reasonably speak on why it was not valid. Which, perhaps you did do - but the explanation was lost in the process. I have ego also, we all do. And all make mistakes and misunderstandings. No one is any better than the other. I wish you well!

You can also reach the limit of your inquiry within a domain - you naturally branch out and explore other domains. A broader perspective then facilities a deeper understanding of the original territory. I think the forum acts like this for Leo

Great dialogue - if I understand it correctly Einstein is saying the truth exists, even if humans do not. Tagore is of the belief that if no human is there to experience it - it is meaningless to call it truth at all? Einstein is believing in his 'objective laws' like a religion, really. I think Tagore is trying to reconcile the universal in the individual, noted in that he seems to believe the role of the mind is as a co-creator of reality. What do you think? Truth exists independently of humans or it emerges through human consciousness?

/end thread