Natasha Tori Maru

All valid points. A man (or woman) can choose to not commit to one person and endlessly wet their dick. Sexual novelty is really important to a lot of men. The reason I don't judge that decision is 1) it is actually a decision, and 2) who am I to decide what is good for that person? The issue for me is lack of foresight. Theres an assumption personal values are static. Sure, it may be good to be non-committal in the moment, indulge in hedonism. But let's tack on 50 years. Now you're a geriatric, your sex drive is lower. Sometimes the peepee don't work, and it's like sticking a marshmallow in a coin slot. Recovery time from sex is no longer minutes - it's a week or more. Your cock isn't governing your decisions like it was, or, you are mature enough to tell it 'down boy' when needed. Suddenly you want just one woman, you want closeness, intimacy, kindness. Commitment. There is inherent risk with any decision in life - but you need to make it a calculated one. Decide. At least then you can't just sit back and cry, and make everything a pity party 'life was so hard on me'. No, you took a risk and it didn't pay off. You gave it a hell of a go. You were a man. You HAPPENED to life, it didn't just happen to you. This lack of foresight is woven in with many people. Whatever decision you make, you are going to miss out. That is just how life is. Compromise. I've personally been with a man who went through this transition. He is well known online, and locally. He could have any women due to the fame and power he has. He is 63 years old (yes a large age gap, but I don't do anything by the book). His value system completely changed in the time I was with him. I am not saying this happens for every man, but you need to assess what a life looks like for you without your dick being the rudder. BTW not talking to you directly Jannes, just expressing my views and experience.

Exactly - you are automating the processes that don't require executive decisions and creative direction. It's how AI should be used. Take it as learning, asses and change your productivity timelines. Get more done, make more $$$. It now leaves your life open to: persue other accomplishments you are interested in. Or invest the additional time into more work. There's no deception to me, just an adaption.

Interesting. This is what I see a lot of on this forum, and the internet at large: the attempt to try to divorce sexuality from the rest of life. It doesn't work, sexuality is the very essence of life. With men that have opportunities like the above (as with women), my personal view it's it's cowardly and flippant to not be decisive. 'The grass is always greener' is based on fear. Face that shit and choose. I respect that. Be decisive. Fact of the matter is most people have nfi who they are or what they want. So they have no confidence in their ability to select.

I know, it went dumb dumb. It was an interesting listen until he hamfisted his own beliefs into it. 0/10 try again

When I witnessed the above dialogue regarding running, it really made me aware of how much pleasure I take in discipline toward a goal. The meaning erases all the negatives of running. But then again, how could one ignore the pure bliss of cool, crisp air hitting your lungs? The joy of movement and energy coursing through your body? The feeling of sweat gently evaporating to cool you down? The adrenaline of the final push to conclude the run? Getting home, jumping in the shower & sitting down to a hot meal, feeling calm but energised. Ready for some focussed work.

This goes into the Dr's past a bit - starts approx 8mins in. It wouldn't be incorrect to surmise he was cherry picked to affirm Aubrey's premise. Not that these 2 subjects are linked. 'Yes men' tend to float around the outskirts of those with power. Trigger warning: Christianity, link for the Dr's history.

Absolutely - and thank you. Your questions really prompt me to think about what I am doing behind the scenes. Every time I encounter someone, in particular on this forum, the interaction prompts me to really assess my values, my internal process. Even my emotional responses. "Why am I being presented with this situation? What can I learn from it? And, more importantly, how can I use it in application to positively effect future outcomes?" I sort of dissect myself and others as a study. I love self-development, because I get to assess behavior and then figure out what I can do to skillfully influence the individual to grow in the direction that will help them. I do this with the people I work with in a professional environment to achieve shared goals. I do this with my family, with my friends, even lovers. I never order anyone around; I never use force. I use leverage. I work out the weak points in the system. Can I bend this rule? Can I break it? No one can escape my manipulations 😈 I can't do this with any benevolence unless I am always assessing what my goal is. But I do have to check myself, as there is some arrogance in me believing I know what is best for others. If I don't know what will help, I simply accept me listening without any intention to respond, will be help. Anyway, I digress - but this forum and the users sharpen me. So here is my belated appreciation of you as a poster Aurum, as you produce high quality content. Even if we are in disagreement

Many, many variables... Emotion, attention, brain chemistry (Vit D in this case), environment, memory, consciousness state. All effect time perception. Get some sleep my man so you can serve some more delectable thought biscuits !

It is my honor to inject as many colorful word combinations into my prose as I can muster! After all, I am trying to serve up some turds in the most appetizing way possible ദ്ദി( • ᴗ - ) ✧

I consider actions as the body language of truth. But I will add - actions should align with words. Words are on air, in paper, on a forum. Actions exist in that they impact people, systems & environments. And while words can have impact, they are a fart in the wind compared to action. Words can point to meaning, but its actions that create meaning. What you say and what do must align. This is when someone has congruency internally. Words can lie, but actions reveal. Just look at the turdfest that is reddit - it's full of words that postulate, flatter, or manipulate. Approval seeking, virtue signaling. Consistent action/behavior shows actual values, beliefs, and priorities. If we apply this discernment in seeking maturity and self-awareness in others, we need to watch their patterns of behavior. This requires time and experience with the person, but also objective observation - which can be difficult if you are emotionally immature/unconscious and looking for something ie confirmation bias. This can be why you will attract the wrong person into your life. That unconscious will control the trajectory of your life until you make it conscious. I don't want to know anything about a person's past. I want to see them now. Words can create a false sense of closeness - especially if you are expressing trauma, as to be 'seen' is powerful, and can accelerate bonding without truly assessing character. Beware of text - it gives the person time to craft a false identity in lieu of body language, tone and actions. Actions that show someone is conscious (not an exhaustive list): In argument, choosing not to react in anger. Care or service with no intention for it to be returned. Sacrifice. Owning mistakes quickly, no blame shifting. Saying no and not doing something without guilt - truth over approval. Delaying gratification - discipline. Following through with promises (words and actions aligning). And the biggest measure for character for me personally? Doing the right thing when no one's watching. Forgetting about the inconvenience of the action, but proceeding because it is RIGHT.

Honestly this is it though - it's an unending fucking turd fest. Its giving plumber mode. Every time one is found, I turn to find I am the dog shitting them out in a line. Only, I own myself, so I have to bloody bag them up! I suppose this is what we call responsibility

I didn't know Carl was studying neuroscience. I could be wrong, but in terms of neurotransmitters, my understanding was dopamine effects the internal clock. High dopamine speeds it up, low dopamine slows it down. Cortisol & adrenaline slow perception during high stress moments. Sleep & fatigue are interesting as they cause me to misjudge time completely. Minutes can feel like hours - or vanish entirely.

Infinity and God realization - for myself - was an experience. Temporary. It helps with understanding. But it has nothing on BEING. Which is why I think OP's question is valid, as God realization isn't clearly the answer for everyone. Spirituality to me is more about the journey of embodiment. Interoception. No external experience has the answer. Having an aim to be infinity, or the God head, seems counter intuitive to me. Dissolve all definition, when the point of all this is to experience the catalyzing reality of friction, contrast & comparison.

Definitely not saying this is true for you - but this was my experience until all my unconscious behaviors/issues were resolved. I had a relationship that was like being a dog and having my face rubbed in my own shit. And I mean a fucken horrible realization I was a complete piece of turd. After that, I just don't click with any of the sorts of previous partners I was with. I see unconscious behavior is almost everyone, and it's a big turn off. Attachment issues, trauma, father or mother issues. Addiction. Within a few weeks of knowing someone I can see the root issue from the pattern of behavior. Words don't mean shit to me at all anymore. I only look at action. This has led to my current state: foreveralone I am still seeking, but I am much more discerning than ever.

💀 I guess long term means something different for everyone. Long term for me is 4+ years Longest I've experienced is 8 years, shortest 2.

@Joshe Agree regarding patterns, synchronicity and confluences. They have been constant through my life, and your description of your experience mirrors my own. Don't even need to look for them. It is serious meditation that has raised that question 'Is every thought that runs through my head, truly my own?' Because the flavour of these 'other' thoughts doesnt have my unique feeling signature associated to it! This is the prompt I use to investigate the thought. It's always down to meditation, breath. Something inside unknown - why so many orient towards spirituality 🙏

@Carl-Richard My experience of time perception and general understanding mirrors yours. I don't have much to add, only that for my unique experience: time slows for events entangled with negativity - and also for adrenaline fuelled events. The enhanced focus of adrenaline appears to tap into higher frame rate. Enjoyment, pleasure and no task switching speed time perception up. This topic probably deserves its own thread, as perception of time and how events change that perception could be spoken on for eons ☺️

@Davino Along with the supplements, did she smash the water? Normally if one is super hydrated, double clicks the mouse then tries to squirt after riding off that first click - tick tick Boom 💥 😊 Most of the time it's the mind holding you back Congratulations ☺️

Interesting - I experience the opposite perception of time. But I notice a difference in my perception of time nonetheless. So, for myself, I notice my attention span is lower - I tend to switch tasks or drift off more often. This has the effect of making me feel more time has passed. When I am in a singular focused drive mode, time appears to pass VERY quickly. Iron deficiency causes the same effect for me as vit D - time slows down. I showed up as low vit D in blood tests - and also in a genetics and heritage test, which was surprising. I take 5000IU a day, every day.

Does the concept of the 'unknown' come into your definition of desire @Nilsi ? Desiring an experience out of reach. Even desiring an experience or thing one has had previously had, has an unknown element to it. Otherwise we would just have sex once and be done. No point in repeating. For one to be 'whole' I perceive all must be known, the horror of ever knowing. Nothing new, no surprises. The burden of all knowing. No new experience to be had. Only on this material plain, separated, individuated, can desire exist. Hence the inseparable nature of it with reality. I might be missing the mark here, just half baked thoughts.

At first it was becoming aware of my thoughts, and how they flow. Noticing a thought arising during meditation, and just being witness to the natural chain of logic and feeling that arose. EG: "I forgot to chase up the cladding, shit. Now we might be fucked for that schedule, I'll miss the date. Better call the client and move the crane hire back. Rewrite the program and delay 2 deliveries." - during this thought chain, I feel a mixture of upset and frustration I was not responsible. Mild worry at contractors not being available due to all the rescheduling, and facing a problem where I cannot estimate most efficient path/duration. The above thought and feeling path has a familiar taste to it. I have learned these are my own unique patterns and thoughts. What is beginning to happen, is I am picking up thought chains either midway in a chain, or completely random ones just pop into my head. Sometimes they have a feeling to them that I don't perceive as familiar. EG I'll be walking back to my apartment and need to grab my keys from my pocket to swipe in. "Don't reach behind your back, you will hurt your arm overextending. Never put your keys in your bag" This thought doesn't come from my natural flow - and meditation and awareness of my typical thoughts has shown me this. I am able to identify it. Coupled with the above, 80% of the time these thoughts have an event associated. In the 'hurt arm' thought example, I spoke to my mum not 10 minutes later and she told me she reached behind her carseat to grab something, and strained her arm. Similarly, a random thought arrived at work 'Use ai to draw up a kitchenette for the joiner' Again the 'knowing' this wasn't part of the familiar 'Tash' thoughts. A minute or so later, my boss walked up with a sketch of almost identical layout to the prompt I had put into AI, with a request to have it made up for supply/install. I didn't have any work on that required a kitchenette to be drawn, I just wanted to test the AI's ability to dimension something - or so I thought. Chalk it up to coincidence? Yeah legit could be. But there are now clear tells to me when I am perceiving myself have a thought that is an outlier. And now strange events are pointing to these thoughts perhaps being external to me. I draw no conclusions, just open to what I am revealing. Now I just want to keep witnessing and watching. This has all arisen as a part of taking meditation a lot more seriously. Do I just assume all my thoughts are my own???

I do agree - I dislike dairy of a CEO actually. But Esther Perel has been around for a long time, and has some alternative views.

I am a freak outlier I think. I don't find scars hot, but I am attracted to them. To me that is a story. That is lived experience. Something impactful another being went through, that might reveal something intimate about them. I genuinely love intimacy, in any way, not just romantic. So for myself - they are an attraction.

Think about it. I admire Leo, as we all do, for the pioneering into the unknown and what he has revealed in terms of the realms of consciousness. He plumbed the unknown and dared to dream there was something to learn there. He was open. He explored. There was no path, he trailblazed the way himself. So why wouldn't others dare to enter into touching consciousness through relationship? Dare to believe there is something to be learned there and a drive that transcends survival? Leo dared. Radical open-mindedness is the aim of the game!

I disagree, this can be touched on this material plain. Even if this cannot be a permanently embodied state. It's like saying, forget trying to awaken because it cannot be permanent. You learn from peaking into awakening and God consciousness - why can't you learn this also in tandem with another? Learn within relationship. Within the power of creation. Children. Union.