Natasha Tori Maru

@Emerald interesting point regarding the study. Perhaps the deciding factor is choice and personal conduct. Veganism is a choice - and when we choose differently to others (especially when this choice is ethical or runs counter to society norms) it forces people to reflect on their own behaviour. Something like race does not have the loaded nature of choice associated with it. I find similar issue when others find out I do not drink or eat processed food. Problematic in Australia as our drinking culture is intense. People bond through alcohol. And yes I did raise that with Coral (that transparency is always best from the outset), she simply viewed it as removing obstacles to dates or life options. But that in itself is problematic: one should not have to pretzel themselves into something else to get on. I dislike that sort of behaviour in myself because it breeds resentment over time. Resentment is poison to me.

One of my housemates around 2020 was a vegan and openly dating on apps (women). When we interviewed her to move in she never mentioned she was a vegan. We found out a week in when she casually mentioned it. I, in my usual direct way, asked why TF she didn't tell us when we were interviewing her: 'I just find it invites trouble and prejudice. It's easier to just do my thing and not impact anyone else. Mentioning I am a vegan has gotten me rejected from applications' Apparently she had asked why she missed out on a few houses and the girls all reported it was the vegan thing. This housemate was chill, and totally fine with seeing meat and using a kitchen where meat had been prepped. She didn't impede on others. Same shit with dating. She would never mention she was a vegan unless she really had to. Her mindset was her eating habits wouldn't impact anyone else (or shouldn't), and she could usually find something to eat that was vegan on any menu. Weird thing to have to hide, but that's how she approached it dating wise. She hid what others might reject her for 🥹 She was also the first chick I lived with that told me her family was haunted. And I dismissed her... Until I saw some wack as fuck shit happen while she lives with us.

Apologies OP, for the derail. Definitely continue on here we will keep in back in track 🌱🙏

I think the dialogue between Breakingthewall & Zurew was an attempt to understand differing views, not agree or disagree - just how I perceived it. If that's what you reference 🙃

Everything you do at a normal hippies festival - just minus the clothes Music, dancing, acid/shrooms, yoga, markets, performers, body painting. Drum circles, workshops.... and just lots of socializing. Being naked completely changes how open people are in this bizarre way - you've seen them without clothes, so people were always so earnest/genuine They are pretty strict though - consent, zero tolerance for creeps or staring/photos. No sexual behavior in public areas. In private though of course there is a LOT of sex. Definitely contributed to me breaking free of inhibitions

Oh - what makes you think I do not care? I may have not expressed myself properly. It is not that I do not care - I do. But I am confident and secure my partner is with me for me. I trust they want to be with me, and to be honest if they change their mind. In an open relationship: it is just respectful as that has always been the terms I have entered into one on. STIs are a large factor there, as even protection can fail. And some people have diseases they do not disclose. In a committed monogamous relationship: I would expect someone to be honest and not just have sex with someone else. If they are feeling that need then I would expect them to be mature and talk about it rather than just fuck someone else I dunno, isn't it normal to expect communication?

I think women might be able to intercept and have a clearer understanding of their own emotions. But this could be a function of society; men are often told to 'get on with it' and could be trained out of emotional awareness. In my experience its been pretty equal. But in no way does this translate to being able to effectively communicate clear boundaries! My experience mirrors yours. Men and women both have issues with mature boundaries and effective communication. Good luck to us both on the search

I do not view flirting as necessarily sexual. I have a very loose definition of the term. I do not have to be attracted to a person to flirt with them. It doesn't have to be related to how they appear. It is more an intellectual joust; wit, banter, subtext, humor, timing, facial expression. Flirting is simply a signal to me. A display. Ego play. I flirt with women all the time. Kissing and sex are actions and have can have consequences. Bonding hormones, expectations, instinctual pair bonding circuits. There can be real effects from this sort of behavior when not communicated (disease). This is all just my opinion based on values of course. I have a very open fluid view of sex. I am not possessive of partners or 'claim' them. I have no hang-ups or boundaries like a normal person. I have no shame regarding sex. It is just pleasure like food. I suppose I do not have many 'conformist' society ideals baked into it. Very much stemming from how I was raised. Been to many a nudist festival I am mostly cautious because others have very strict boundaries around the act. For me it is simply a preference: flirting is chill. No need for permission. Kissing and sex with someone else? As long as it is communicated beforehand I am chill.

That is a line for me. If it were an open relationship (regarding kissing/sex) - in the past I have always been with partners who communicated their intentions prior to engaging another partner. I've been in committed relationships where my boyfriend flirted casually with women, but it was always an interesting talking point to dissect between us. If for any reason I felt insecure (about a partners flirting) I would openly state it. But I am very direct, which I do not think is usual for most women (can be men also, within relationships). I don't like leaving things unsaid. Even if it hurts a bit. Better to say it outright than let it fester. Nothing kills a relationship faster than resentment. My stance on flirting is unusual, I think

I think this should have been the premise - make it set in ancient Mesopotamia and work it into some of the mythos there etc Half the meaning of story is written if they take it from history and Frankenstein it together

Maybe it's just a personal thing, but to me, flirting is harmless. I don't mind my partners flirting with others. I love the display of wit and banter. Takes some nice skill. I'm not insecure about it. I am not territorial or possessive. For me this isn't theoretical as I have lived it. And I don't confine flirting to gender either. Man, woman and anything in between - you won't escape 😈

I view Alex as being slightly afraid or hesitant to take a stance or draw a conclusion

I just searched for this quote and read the full passage

I don't have any semen to retain - but orgasm never leaves me depleted. Only allowing negative reactions, and resultant emotions, can do that. I also haven't ever searched for how the practice of abstaining might change energy for women. I know men experience sexual energy as build/release, and many spiritual practices touch on it, but I was always under the impression these were recorded with men in mind. But as I woman I am somewhat forced by nature to endure the flow of life (monthly cycles). Perhaps there is something to that. I also do not experience a tension build up from sexual energy (maybe charge is a better word) - but when I do feel 'charged up', I just use that energy redirected into some other passion that engages heightened emotion, expression or physical action. The build up for me does not contaminate my thoughts so I can channel the energy into work. Anyway I'll step out now....not my place <3

@Something Funny Kinda makes me wonder if you could fuck yourself up if you fasted + pounded R/O water. I am guessing it would flush ones system out of homeostasis. My fasts only ever go to 72hrs and I replace salt + electrolytes

The discussions I had about the R/O loops were just in the context of the water alone. I am not making an argument in my post - I just thought it was a good bit of info to add as I had some crossover experience with reverse osmosis as it is in medical fields.

What does this have to do with my post? Nothing I said would lead one to make that assumption

The nature of the human condition - as a byproduct of modern times

You say this, but you will be back for more punishment... just like me 😈 😈 😈

We built a Dialysis centre 2 years back. The biggest parts of the build were the R/O water loops, which is key to dialysis treatment. In addition, we have built R/O loops for lab research areas and sterilizing medical equipment (used for autoclaves). The guys who we commissioned to build the loops, the doctors and the engineers at the hospitals were aware it wasn't optimal for humans to drink. All of them mentioned essential minerals the human body needed the R/O water couldn't provide. This gave me the impression it was known R/O water was missing essential components. This is not to say I know medical professionals are aware R/O water needs remineralisation, but it leads me to believe it is not as unknown as me might think. Maybe GP's do not know. But nurses/doctors and people working in acute and chronic hospital care seem to be very aware of this.

From the sounds of the conversation here so far - is 'presence' maybe the more accurate word over 'awareness'? Being present and in touch with my feeling and perceptions usually places me firmly in the feminine polarity.

Yes, I used to. Not anymore. Back when the internet was a lot newer rotton.com was huge for this sort of stuff. 4Chan also. For me it was the feeling of horror that induced a single pointed focus. I couldn't look away. Couldn't be distracted. Watching it gripped me. Thank fuck I can induce that state in meditation now. I just grew out of it.

As long as you don't create a belief system around rejection 'I am hopeless', and you are continuing to put yourself out there, you will have success. It takes like 18months to find a girlfriend on average with no social circle (this was from a psychologist mate who specialises in men's issues, grain of salt). Most people give up well before this time period has lapsed. I briefly dated a guy in his 30's who approached me, for around 3/4 months. He was also a virgin. He just randomly started talking to me while waiting in the city loop. Nice dude, very nervous. Incredibly intelligent (industrial chemist). Not to be disparaging but he wasn't even the best looking dude. Below average I would say. It ended due to him moving to another city for work (which was always happening for him). I think he probably finally had to balls to start approaching women due to the move But he was also doing speed dating, which he reported he hated. He had this entire section of his apartment devoted to chemistry as a hobby - he had all these fucken SICK bismuth crystals growing. Maybe that dude might be you? But yeah those beliefs will get you. It's a cognitive bias - so the process of thinking is ace. But its the data being picked that ends up myopic and can shoot you in the foot. So you might have a mate who goes to speed dating with you, and he bags a GF. You see he is taller than you and end up with 'Oh he is taller than me, so that's why I didn't have success' - that's the cognitive bias. You missed that he was speed dating for a LOT longer than you. But you choose not to look at that data. So the belief forms based on not seeing the whole picture, or being closed off to the fact there are other elements in play. This is why it is so important to understand how you are thinking. Journaling etc. To be able to observe your thought process. Very difficult to notice these slippering thoughts also. Often it needs a CB therapist to assist. It's also really important to address these hidden beliefs. People's subconscious picks up on these things within seconds. And they will perceive you as being 'burdened' which is the exact opposite energy you want to have. 'Burdened' as a projection isn't even who you are - so you don't have a chance to show someone your earnest self when you carry false beliefs. ------- Back to the OP's question @Leo Gura's advice is spot on. The first step is to realise you are DOING IT. You need to grow that meta cognition so you can catch yourself in the thoughts. Awareness is the first step. And powerful. If you aren't aware you are holding onto a ball, how on earth will you be able to let it go?

@svreishren I think what you may not realise is even the fact you are saying this means it is an idea to you and a concept. It is not an experience you have had.

Even such small things come into it - I find meditating by the Yarra River in my local bushlands, away from traffic, Wifi, electrical emf etc has huge effects on how easily I can reach states of pure single pointed focus / being. The further on in the path you go it is so totally natural to just discard things that impede us. No force needed to stop doing the thing. Even when it may have been a crutch or coping mechanism. Things just naturally fall away. No struggle to drop addictions or compulsions.