Natasha Tori Maru

I always reflect on this when some users (cough) ex forum members go on their little non-dual schpiel 'THERE IS NO ONE TO SUFFER' 'THERE IS NO ONE TO DIE' 'No me, no problem' Meanwhile they are still reactive as hell, manipulative and numb. Still not gonna stop death, still gonna suffer if I slice off a toe. Little reverse uno card to try to bypass everything ay?

None of these thoughts mean shit. Stop meaning making - my advice. Can you imagine me screwing a guy saying 'you know I just can't do this, that differential equation HAS a solution, I just need to work it out.' Life on pause because of a thought - the point of it all is the delight of experience. Solipsism isn't even relevant to all this existence ❤️

I'm glad !

I was floating, living in the peaceful bliss of my immaterial dreams, content with the world... Until you reminded me of the abuse this show put me through 😜 I WANTED to love it. It didn't love me... I'm re-watching the remake of Battlestar Galactica currently. Gimme a show like THAT (except maybe the very end when the writers strike scrambled the eggs slightly)

Holy shit my dude you are so upset/emotional. That ignorance you hate out in the world is a huge part of you that you are disowning. It makes you blind to your own ignorance. I hope you find something healthy that can soothe you.

This. I don't like all these strategies to 'avoid' necessarily - it will calcify you into not living, having no experience. The point is experience. And the point about value assessment is very valid also. I will add - do not assume values are fixed either. Humans are fickle. You might one day wake up and think 'Fuck it, I'ma change this shit up!' I would say to OP: don't fear attachment and then loss. It is part of life. Everything ends. Everything has its season. Cycle of life. Instead, trust that whatever happens you WILL make it through. Trust that you are strong enough. You will survive and bounce back. And dive headfirst into life & love because whatever happens you will always make it work. Until you die - in which case you won't care about any of these worries anymore

I see a couple of possibilities: 1) Simple apprehension/performance anxiety. Do you feel you have any sort of goal with meditation? Aims? If so, potentially not living up to that goal and thinking on it may be causing some nervousness. 'What if I get distracted?' 'What if I cannot concentrate?' What if I get frustrated?' etc. 2) Most people proceed through life totally consumed in distraction - wilfully. Boredom is anathema to most. It is so uncomfortable we cannot sit with it at all. You may not even realise you are seeking distraction 24/7. When this goes - often what we are running from or repressing comes up. You might 'feel' relaxed prior to meditation, but this could be just a level of stimulation you are accustomed too. What is occurring unconsciously then, can arise during meditation - because in that calmer state your mind/body will bring things up as it perceives you are safe and ready to confront whatever it may be. Anxiety and stress are normally the bodies response to anticipating a threat - I wonder what you might be perceiving that could be acting as some imagined 'threat?'. For myself, mass amounts of extreme trauma buried deep in my unconscious only came to the fore when I was in a calm, stable point in my life. Almost as if my mind was protecting itself. I found this confusing as I was in a stable life balance where all seemed well - there was no reason for me to be feeling all these things! It took perhaps 2 years of solid meditation, contemplation and enquiry for me to figure all this out and resolve it. It was the best thing I ever did. Maybe my story might help

@ryoko I cannot see any level of awareness in current LLMs. Maybe some new iteration of AI in the future has the possibility of becoming aware, but defo not LLMs.

@vibv Sounds like our old friend - the non-dual experience/awakening What you describe is typical there. I am not sure I said anything disappears, though...

I lived in a little imaginary world like that up until around 17-18 years old. It still happens to me a lot, but I am more grounded in reality now I think it is just imagination running wild. I actually love it! Do you create film clips in your mind, like a running narrative to music, as well? Big one for me. Paying attention to reality was something I had to train myself into

Flirting with danger... I take it you haven't seen Leo's booklist 😜

Indra's Net of shiny bald heads 🤪 Thank you for the share!

Is this a projection? Huehuehue 🙃🙃🫠💀

Hahaha! Exactly. Not exactly thinking then ay? So why think during sex? Seems backwards 🫠💀

By this I take it you think AI will become aware? IE to generate experience, one would need to become 'aware' of 'something' in a subject/object relationship

Alright no worries! Aversion, like craving, are both the progenitors of suffering. The aversion is source of suffering. Equanimity being the balance between the two (craving/aversion) - the merging of the duality. Aversion is the turning away (duality) that separates from the experience. Generating resistance. I ask is mostly people conflate suffering and aversion/craving.

@Staples The soundtrack is good! But I expected that from Trent My foul hate fest or the film? If it was my expletive roasting I can tell you right now - that is the most entertainment you will get out of this turd fest... I see the internet hate is just beginning to flourish as well Your taste will naturally steer you away - BE GLAD Disney en-shittifies all it touches...

Are you sure you aren't referring to aversion - which can lead to suffering?

I always thought the word 'unnecessary' was really important in Ralston's 'Ending Unnecessary Suffering'.

@Jodistrict

@Ishanga still an illusion - I am pointing to what most people think is the self arising as a result of the social domain 🙃

I love it 😈 swords and chaos, but polite and with grace ! Forum juggernauts clash

@Lyubov Fear is a deception. Total deception. I totally get your post 🌱🙏

@Miguel1 Japanese mainly, but my genetics test revealed Korea & China. I think there is a portion of the Japanese Tori-Maru connection that is mixed Asian descent (a lot of crossover in that region). @Salvijus @WonderSeeker I feel like I had to learn the depths of my inner arsehole to understand the good bits 😅 it seemed a natural progression. Now I figure I know my inner tiger, it is just behind bars. Lock and key. I strategically walk it so it doesn't bust out and destroy some shit! @Eskilon yes I took a lot of risks - that was for sure linked to the whole nihilism thing. I literally didn't give a fuck and felt dead inside. But at the same time I recognise there was immense fear I confronted by flying off to meet a whole bunch of anonymous men I only knew through regular gaming. After I did that, I really drove into facing fear as it lead to the most growth. Now if I feel slightly apprehensive about something (fear) I know there is something to investigate there. That doesn't mean throwing myself off a cliff because I fear heights - more that there is something to contemplate/enquire about and understand that will help me. Just happens that my natural life growth has happened from the furtile soil of hopelessness, dispair, malaise, anhedonia, hate, rejection. I came out from that to fall in love with life. So I know it is possible, and part of what draws me to the forum. That past energy I feel comes from here and I try to understand how I transformed so I can help others.

I think the dive into simplicity and ordinariness was a recognition there is infinite experience to be had there, as well as anything that would be considered extraordinary by human standards. I shift perspectives and engage. And a different type of connection with others came about. A new understanding. That drive for the extraordinarily IS ordinary. I think it is really human to want to explore our uniqueness. It is another aspect of that 'sameness'