Natasha Tori Maru

@ivankiss You would hope no one is being led...

Ah right okay - I think your usage of the words has twisted the meaning for me. 'Suffering physically' There is pain, and there is suffering. I sense that you want a cure for pain, suffering, or both. But it is just baked into reality. All we can alter are our perceptions of pain and suffering.

I think so - Hashimoto's can brutalise you systemically. I am BLOODY lucky I do not have CFS as my pathology is in remission. Interesting - are you attempting to look into why you may be drawn to Leo as a projection or a disowning of portions of your psyche? I find examples of myself doing this whenever I judge someone. I am disowning a part of myself and reality externally by judging. So I pay attention to it as it is my brain filtering something out existentially. And I do not want to filter our parts of my reality. I am blocking out something within myself and only choosing to see it outside. The mind is conscious of a lot more than we realise - but we learn to filter it all out in an attempt to 'know' and survive. I am constantly trying to destroy these filters within my spiritual process. Although it can be a hard balance - sometimes I pay attention to things that are irrelevant to survival

I don't like to talk about my plans and goals unless I am trying to figure out a best course of action. Or consulting with someone I deem as an expert or has more knowledge. I have to have a real valid reason to talk about it. A goal. Otherwise, in my 40 years of experience, the dopamine and energy kick of talking about a plan or idea is enough for me to feel as if I had achieved it. I want all that energy and dopamine to be channelled into the task. If I talk about it, I hamstring myself. Rob myself of the energy to actualise it. Plus, I don't really listen to what people say as much in life. I just look at what they do. That shows you their values and beliefs better than any words.

Exactly. Slap a nice little label on it and reduce it down so you can dis-identify it from your egoic beliefs. Voilà! Perhaps you could argue satanism is worshiping and pedestalising some dark deity - but that would be worshipping a concept or belief. So, a falsehood!

The book enquires deeply into things like this. The post above by @Freshta is also a lovely anecdote illustrating it. @Sugarcoat linked a BRILLIANT youtube clip a while ago regarding pain and suffering from someone who suffers cluster headaches (one of the worst types of physical pain). Consider this example found experientially: The force of a large piece of concrete formwork pushes down onto some earth. The pushing force of the concrete down can represent pain. Physical, unavoidable pain. You want to stop this so you try to push the concrete off the soft earth. But as you push - you add a terrible shearing force laterally across the ground between the earth and concrete. Now you have 2 sources of pain. The existing pain pushing down - and the lateral force you are exerting. Heat and friction are added to the downward crushing. This lateral force is you resisting the pain, fighting the pain. This is the suffering component. You are the source of this force, which you exert with good intention - you think this force (suffering) will assist with the pain. But all it does is drain your energy. It actually makes the physical force of the concrete baring down harder to endure, because you are now wasting energy trying to push it aside. This is an example of how suffering and pain can be separate. And it is useful to interocept and self enquire to understand fully what mechanisms are at play internally, which ones we contribute to, and which are part of survival. I argue that you have not made this distinction - yet. I understand you will just repeat your assertion and resist what others are trying to touch on in this thread. And within that resistance, you are actually creating suffering (much like pushing the concrete aside) - you are suffering us all telling you that there is some suffering that is imaginary and avoidable. Ironic, isn't it? You won't get anywhere trying to argue on a forum if you won't even read that Ralston book....

What if Leo cannot have kids? Hashimoto's can fuck you up in ways you wouldn't expect. It's an autoimmune disease where your immune system tries to kill itself. The systematic issues it causes aren't a fun time (I have Hashimoto's also). Why would he disclose if he couldn't? This could be a brutal thing to project. If one cannot have kids, to be told they need to and are missing out is a kick to the guts. Just a new way to frame it, not agreeing or disagreeing 🤪

@UnbornTao Letdown after letdown.... The Simpsons had so much right

https://youtu.be/-JcMhIqBxYg?si=cWpnXzCzmVyghRLO

I agree with this, I don't understand what OP's aim or goal is. It might be helpful if there was a clear reason - as in - is the the listening pathological? Does the user avoid all life responsivities because they just want to listen to music? Are they unable to moderate volume and damaging their hearing? Sound and music are conduits for joy, emotion, feeling. And, speaking for myself, have always been a healthy form of expression. Therapeutic even.

I will add to this - if you post in a forum such as this with big claims, expect to have them pulled apart and dissected. It's not meant as an attack (although coupled with wrong tone it can be perceived as such). Why else would you post but to want to discuss it? We are all here trying to understand so deep enquiry is going to happen. There are plenty of other places on the internet to post if you want to have a belief reinforced. Having said that, it's not an excuse to be mean or derogatory. But you can't post here and expect not to be probed and questioned extensively. We want to understand so these questions attempt to find out, even if laced with doubt. I think @Hojo raised this as well

Fuck why did I do this - I started watching because I love the Alien films. This had so much potential... NGL though, they used that Tool song at the worst part - you'd expect a song about anal fisting to happen when there was FULL ALIEN carnage. But it was the outro... the rights alone would be $$$ Anywho, I'm onto episode 3 with nothing but hopes and dreams left...

@AION Sex =/= damage Virginity is a social construct, not a moral value. 'get a virgin girl' - implying this has some sort of high value you should just delete yourself & your integrity for....

I haven't perceived this as a social expectation. This sounds like a pathological feminine expectation - unique to an unhealthy individual and not a societal expectation. And it applies to both men and women. You are totally fine as a man to be stoic, lead, and to have boundaries. You should feel fine to assert them as such. 'These are my expectations' and mutually agree. Self sovereignty is for all. Also reads like AI AI AI - did you generate it through ChatGPT?

Fuck, this was a great read - thank you so much! Appreciate you

Creatine has had some big nootropic effects for me - let us know how you go with it! From what I gather, creatine works on the ATP system - which is the molecule your cells 'spend' to do everything. It helps recycle ATP. ATP does basically everything - movement, blood pumping, fires nerves, build proteins, thinking even Thanks YOU TOO! I am a very curious and disciplined person, so I don't mind experimenting. Also spirituality HELPS because you do not attach so much to routines or fixed ways. So experiments that would make others feel deprived, or require sacrifice, do not phase me so much. My curiosity overrides pain and sometimes even fear... so I have to be careful there haha

@Someone here Well you are doomed to suffer then, and in all the unnecessary ways we human beings cause. I recommend 'Ending Unnecessary Suffering' by Peter Ralston. Gluck

Pain is physical for sure. Suffering CAN be physical - as in it can be described as the broader experience that encapsulates pain - but you can have suffering without pain. So I would posit these are not synonymous. So are you sure suffering is totally physical? If I suffer from sadness - what is going on there? Is sadness physical in its origin?

Exactly. That book explains it. We do it. The issue is people suffer huge ego backlash at the thought they might be responsible for it. And don't get me wrong, suffering occurs because of survival - but there is A LOT of suffering generated as a result of the social domain that can be deleted.

Now you are back on track - as you are meant to ask these questions - so that IS the point! My point was that suffering isn't physical. Do you think it is physical? If it is not - what is it?

It points to the fact it is in the mind - and could, therefore, be illusory. It is prompting investigation. So combative aren't we? All this shit is a word game. It is all just pointers. Nothing said - not even a word, is what it is. Light can mean so much without context - light weight, turn on the light, light sleeper, light shade. All words are just games and pointers, so what is your point? Hmmmm?

@ExploringReality Yep my weight went up - but curiously not felt as water weight. As in, when I am approaching my monthly season I retain about 2kgs of water weight. It makes you feel blobby. Almost as if you got fatter overnight. You walk and legs shake - think homer when he gets tapped on his stomach and it ripples like a wave 'Look at the flubber fly!' Creatine, curiously, does not have this effect. But my weight went up 1kg, so I think it is intramuscular! My legs are slightly larger and shoulders also. I do a combo of approx 25kms running a week, some sprinting, and weights at the gym. I don't gas out as easily so I can push really hard with creatine. And I am a small girl 163cms, 48kg - so body changes are fun because I can see it rapidly on a little frame. I only drink coffee and tea - no other gym type drinks.

I typically fast until 11am then eat from 11-6pm. I have done some extended fasts (5 days max) and I love it for the clarity. The amount of bullshit time spend on shopping, planning, prepping, cooking, eating... not to mention THINKING about food is crazy when its removed as an option. So I use the time for real hard spiritual work as my brain is somewhat empty-er than normal I also love it for interception - It always trains me back to being able to perceive precisely when energy systems flip from glycogenic to fat burning. Similar to running - you know when you go for a run, the first 10-15 minutes is a headfuck. I always want to stop, mental fight, then after that I am home free and can go for 15kms without even noticing. It's the energy system flipping from anaerobic to cardiovascular. I can feel when the energy systems of the body change to a 'backup' during a fast, so to speak. I have also experimented with fasting every second day - I just make sure to eat back the calories. Speaking as a woman, this didn't work as well for me hormonally. Men have WAAYYYY more options

I am sorry to hear this tale - it sounds like she wasn't as mature previously and now has grown since. Bad boundaries mean we are not always as honest as we should be in the pursuit and prioritization of harmony. Which is really a fear of loss and an attachment 'If I tell the truth I do not like this, and won't allow it, how will I be perceived? Will I be rejected? I do not want to have negativity' etc. When we grow in maturity we understand the negative is just as needed as the positive when striving for a good outcome. It is ultimately coming down to: Do you pursue further self exploration through substances, or do you pursue further self exploration in romantic contrast with another? Seek clarity around your values. Young people really dislike this but - nothing lasts. What do you think you will regret with each choice? Her, or experiences with substances? I personally do not recommend compromising your integrity by lying and hiding this from her - this is the exact opposite of what you want to achieve in a mature romantic partnership. You want union, not division. And lies only serve to rend the connection.

You done?