caspex

I met someone on discord a while back who was writing a book on energy stuff because they themselves are very good at it, They posted a 10 page pdf on energy basics sometime later. I don't know how true this is since I haven't delved into this myself. But it seems like worth a read. Energy_basics.pdf

*Has a deep awakening when sitting on a park bench* 50 mins later Police: Hey what're you doing? we heard a report that you have been staring at people non-stop! Are you ok? *Grabs arm* Yo are you ok?? Stop staring and say something!

I love you!

Honestly for me. I am not that old yet. 16 right now. So I think I can remember what I was like when I was 7 - 11 and damn. It's the same state as the state of just being. Like I didn't even think that much. I probably didn't think at all. Just a bit I guess. I remember just being aware of my body movements and making decisions. I never felt like there was a me. And I know this cuz when I recently accessed this state again some months back, i realized this exactly how i felt when i was around 7 - 11 (Probably before as well but i dont remember before then). I was just taking in the direct experience. That's it. I didn't try to get ahead of someone, or hold back, get anxiety of meeting people, feel awkward. I just had fun. As my parents were in jail, I didn't feel anything at all, just normal, knowing that they were in jail, while I lived at the uncles. And when my father finally came back 3 years later. I actually didn't feel like very good like cry. I was just like, "Oh I have seen this in movies, I should be emotional and maybe cry". Ofcourse i didnt think thta in words, i never thought in words, it was always these 1 second feelings. I never even thought of people as 'people'. Eveything was equal and I never looked at the world in concepts like objects and linguistics. I enquired everything and wasn't easily disgusted. Just amazing man. This is what I think enlightenment to be lol. But Ig that's furthest i have ever reached so that's why that's the furthest I can imagine rn. My ego only really started to develop around 12 years old. It just slowly developed by me slowly identifying with me behaviour because I started to notice how much of emphasis people start to put on the "YOU" and "me" and "I". So the ego really developed when I slowly identified with my behaviours. I slowly started to think in linguistics. And became like any old teenager. I never actually thought anything wondorous, I was open minded af, ngl, but I never really thought out of the box. (Mostly because i didn't try to). I just worked with what i was given and adjusted accordingly (not because i was scared of speaking out. I didn't feel any need to, I was ok with what i was given). I did ask for shit when I needed but it usually took some courage. Recently my ego got the strongest, btu 2 years ago I found spirituality just at the right time to start reversing. I hope I get back there soon and go even beyond that.

So this has been on my mind for several months now. Why do we avoid suffering? After a bit of thinking it's clear to me that pleasure and pain are just feelings we give meaning to. Same with bliss and suffering. Even after seeing this, why it is that I still want to avoid suffering and attract bliss most of the time. I don't resist my mental suffering anymore, i try my best to not get attached to any pleasure or bliss. But I still fear my death (maybe that'll be the case until an actual ego death). I fear feeling large amounts of pain. What is this? Can't I be cautious without feeling fear. But if i dont fear pain, what will be my reason to be cautious? I know hating pain and suffering is for us to survive, however, how does one go beyond survival? Maybe asking to go beyond survival is asking to eradicate the fear of death. I just noticed that when I ask to go beyond survival, I am hoping to survive after i go beyond it. Lol. What to do?

'Cuz of the discounts rn, thinking of buying something. Can you suggest something that ain't weak sauce? Do list the book if it alr has a pdf online but also try to list some book that isn't available online for free and i'd need to buy a physical copy. Looking for books that gives powerful insights into Enlightenment and practices.

I think you are doing too much speculation here and giving it too much thought. All I can say is that get to the state and this won't be a confusion. And keep in mind, I haven't reached the deepest level of direct experience in any sense. I have seen my own stuff and I am saying from this experience.

The vision, colors and all, everything stays the same. Yet, not the same. You look completely differently. Infact, there is not even a You and a World. There is no thinking anymore. And yeah I guess you won't be able to see through the form so easily. imo practicing will yield results.

Direct experience is just awareness. Now 'objects' ARE an idea. There are no 'Objects'. But there is no point me telling you this. You need to see this for yourself. I kind of explained how in my last reply. Now the 'objects' are an idea. But, let's say you look at a glass ye, it's isnt an learned object, what you are seeing isn't an idea itself. What the idea is, is the meaning and labels and memories you aside to the appearance in front of you. For eg. Looking at a glass. You can attach these following learnt assumptions: 1. It's a glass. 2. You may remember the half full - half empty glass thing 3. It's an object in 3d space 4. You may remember some memory regarding glasses. 5. You may remember this reply if you try this out after reading this. So as you can see, you gotta get rid of all your meanings and assumptions. It's hard at first to even identify all your assumptions because you wont know if you have identified all of them. (I probably dont have all of them identified either). But once you stop assuming shit and assigning meaning. It should be pretty clear that there is only this awareness, THAT is direct experience. Now be careful to not think of this as zoning out. You have full focus visually and mentally on that glass, infact, if you do it right, all thought stops, and a natural and almost instinctive inquiry into what that 'object' is begins. Ofcourse, do take baby steps into reaching here.

Yeah man it's very much possible. It'll take some practice but you can for starters start to look at the world without linguistics and only in objects. And then that cane be further dissolved into no objects and only appearances and than into awareness only. What's the biggest problem is that you try to analyze everything and not just observe. You need to realize the distinction between analyzing and observing, people get it mixed up. Also some tips would be that if you are trying to look at the world without linguistics. Start by looking at things or words. You'll see that you automatically read them out or call their names in your mind. Don't resist that and let that happen. Try to however not assign meaning to the words you hear in your mind, just let them be.... something. Eventually you can stop the habit of unconsciously reading out and pointing out everything you see. The key is to not assign any meaning. We assign meaning from mostly assumptions.

@saif2 I'd say forget all the memory, name and acts of that spiritual teacher when you listen to them. Only keep the teachings in mind. You gotta see that the teaching isn't attached to the teacher. HOWEVER, it is better to know about the teacher, and if you can be conscious enough to not put them up on the pedestal, knowing about the teacher can help you see where he/she is coming from.

@SamueLSD You might be taking for granted there are other people who can experience as well. There is not even you. There is only being. Now contemplation can be done on this: The sensations that are happening. Hearing, seeing, smelling, taste, all feeling, thinking(which includes you imagining different people). How do you distinguish between them. For eg. How can you distinguish between sight and hearing. What's the difference? Once you realize this DOT of being and sensation is the only thing there is. This question is no more. Some pointers: 1. How do you know when I prick you on your finger that I pricked you on the finger? Aren't you just associating 'the feeling of your finger' with 'the finger' in the sight? How do you know the feeling that happened, happened in that finger? 2. Don't forget to include the feeling of the head inside and out and also the jaw , the eyes, and the whole frontal face + back and inside of the ears when being aware of the sensations. Also the breath as it moves. 3. Notice how all thought and choices arises on their own, spontaneously. Even your act of trying to be aware. 4. Try to imagine what shape could this mega sensation (all of the sensation of your being) be. And try to locate yourself. What I think on the issue: By doing this exercise and all properly, it is apparent that nothing exist outside this field of sensations. This mega sensation is all that there is. And that this mega sensation is what keeps changing. This mega sensation is the picture moving on the screen of the awareness. It's not a perception or an experience, but it's being. Now it is alright to hold beliefs such as mars exist and all that if you want to have a social life. After all, this 'reality' seems to be consistent. And I don't think you can change this consistency until you are insane amount of conscious. Like really insane. Like materializing a red ball in your hand kinda insane. Otherwise from the direct experience I can say that this mega sensation is all that there is. Now I do think this mega sensation or being can be expanded. Now from expanded dont get me wrong. I don't mean that it is like a bubble in some outside space and can capture more. I mean it more like. This mega sensation can include more ways of experiencing life/reality/god than just these 6 - 7 senses. How does all that work? No fucking clue.

Looks like only your eyelids were moving. For me it's been my eyes cuz i can literally see the image infront of me jittering left and right

Holy shit! This same thing started to me two days ago! I am just looking at something and bam!, My eyes start rem for a few seconds and it stops. Happened to me every time i was focusing on reality or being 'spiritual' as well. the hell! lol edit: for context, like 2 or 3 days ago I have had a pretty big awakening (for me) into the nature of reality

thank you!

can you be more specific, what lesson(s) do you think i am lacking?

Leo has a video on Self-Love

oh oh sorry for assuming. Just wanted to make sure you weren't falling into the hate trap. all good!

you got some bone to pick with grandiose narcissists?

thank you

What makes you think you have enough experiential knowledge then? You assume you know more about something you haven't even tried than someone who has. You might be able to derive more information through contemplation from a certain experience than others, but you still haven't even done psychedelics to derive anything. What you are doing is speculation. And then claiming it as true. You want to be proved wrong. But what if you can't communicate that proof but have to experience it for yourself? In that case, telling you to do psychedelics will only really be the last option. My only argument is that your argument of "don't just dismiss me with the empty reply "you cannot understand if you don't take them". " doesn't work. You don't know you have experienced something similar to psychedelics until you have a genuine psychedelic experience to compare from.

I wouldn't recommend to do so. I used to meditate an hour - 2 hours a day and then I felt I was getting too attached and let go of meditation for a while. It has been 3 months, and I can't even meditate 30 mins properly now. I am going to build up to an hour again. But I think that feeling of "I would be able to grow if i let it go for a while cuz rn i am attached" can just be worked out through more mediation. I think you can get rid of attachment to meditation THROUGH mediation. This isn't counter-intuitive imo cuz for me it was intuitive to leave meditation for a while and take break.

I think you shouldn't work towards developing motivation towards a great house and million of dollars. Rather find something that you find motivating. Someone might have a passion to live a ordinary life in some cabin in the mountains rather than a mansion with cars. I think it usually always takes time to find what you love to do. And rather than coping with your suffering and pleasure with "I don't care" attitude, instead, see the emptiness in them, and realize that their is no reason to get serious on this rather than a SHOULD or repetitive statement like "Meh. It don't care". See WHY you aren't caring. And I think seeing the beauty in everything will also help with finding joy in something that you like.

Make sure to not make that feeling of "No self" into a new feeling of self. Always dig that "no self" out from the present moment, don't try to remember it.

I think "you cannot understand if you don't take them" is really the only argument that can be made. If you haven't took them then that means you don't have enough experiential knowledge to go by contemplating or speculating. Right now all these speculating may seem like correct but it could very well be the case that if you actually experience a trip, all that speculation be flipped upside down. And I don't think anyone can pose arguments in words to do that for you. I haven't took psychedelics so this is also speculating. What you believe about ayahuasca disassociating could very well be proved wrong just by tripping yourself. Having an outside perspective can be helpful but in cases like these, imo, the thing in question should be experienced before talking about it.