ted73104

Not much anyone can do. Who people vote for has much to do with their world view, and that can't be changed easily. We can't even change our own views in a short time. It's really a survival instinct. Probably only after disaster strikes will people wake up.

Man, this is a huge riddle you have here for us. I can only guess what's going on in your psyche right now, assuming what you wrote was serious. However it would seem like your last sentence provides a hint on your situation. You seem to genuinely hate yourself, and under this set of deep emotions, you don't want to care about anything or anyone else. Your "environment" is judgemental of yourself for a number of reasons (very interested in knowing what those reasons are). You think you are unworthy of relationship with others, which is why you reject your friends, because you think potentially you would destroy your relationship with your friends in some way or if something happened. You reject your friends, your family, and the people around you because you don't want to hurt them and yourself. You believe there are criterias you need to have in order to be worthy of love from the people around you, however you feel that you're totally not capable of fulfilling those criterias. This brings a deep feeling of shame, which gives you this very cold vibe. This vibe is so strong, it could also freeze those who look into your eyes. Your perception of your self identity is holding you back. Your strong love for those around you is manifested in the form of a deep hatred. You feel you don't care, but actually this emotion of not caring proves how much you want to care. You want to love and be loved, but your situation doesn't allow you to give or receive love. So instead your love has turned into hatred, which is a kind of extreme self-love. You feel agony because you're in a tough bind, internal conflicts are occuring within you. I think we need to know what the judgements you've given yourself are in order to really be able to help you.

@Someone here The origin of suffering according to Buddhist theory is perseverance, the fixation on having/getting something, the clinging onto that notion. To overcome suffering is to identify that you are clinging onto these things and then find some way to drop them. However this is not an option for most humans, we're not capable of changing our nature and so we have to play the game.

Cool man! So what should we do with our self image? How do we expand it in general so we can embrace more diversities in life (including the outcomes we dislike)?

Great to have you back, where did you take this photo by the way?

Hope you hang on and pull through. Being with family should help.

I wonder if Leo still does coaching, maybe you could try to get a session with Leo?

Thanks for the response, I guess the only way forward is to make this a good dream for everyone.

I wonder what people really mean when they say life is an illusion, what those enlightened folks mean when they know this for a fact. My previous thought on this notion would just be something like I probably shouldn't cling onto some stuff too much, because if I over-imagine that I want something desperately, I might just be suffering for something that's not actually going to satisfy me much in the end. However, although this might be a way to apply this concept, this might not be the main point of what they're saying. Is it possible that what they really mean is that life is an illusion, so I can create whatever I want to in life? There are actually no rules at all?

I don't think there is a definitive "good" life coach. A coach's teachings works for you only when you find his guidance helpful, and different methods work for different people. I imagine this coach is trying to get you to ask yourself some deep questions, in which you would understand more about yourself and your own situation. Normally if you want to make a radical change in your life, that would require a long time where you change your beliefs and behavior regarding a certain topic. Of course there are fast methods, but those would only resolve surface problems. Do you think you could share what you are working on through this life coach?

So what do they mean when they say "life is an illusion"? Is there something else we should know? Or is this just an God level illusion, and so it's actually real for humans and we should treat it as a real thing? This saying would mean practically nothing if this were the case.

Fear of death and missing out?

We apply "rules" to live life on a higher level, but I'm just wondering if the complexity of life is just imagined. If the complexity of life is real, then we should just dive in and explore. However if it is all imagined, then is applying advanced "rules" or "principles" only just to serve the self on another level?

I'm assuming that a degree in philosophy doesn't really land you good paying jobs in the country you live. So I think you should quit, don't waste this extra year on something that's not going to give you anything. Get a degree in something that you feel to be more suitable for yourself and where you can provide more value in future potential jobs. Again, I'm talking entirely from my own perspective. I had a college soccer teammate who majored in philosophy. He's works as a security guard now.

I can't really say this is a bad idea, since this is exactly what I did, but how you do this really affects the results. You don't want to sacrifice your happiness for this.

Do what you deeply desire, don't be a perfectionist, just follow your heart.

I'm wondering if you feel like if you made a new group of friends and you were really happy with them, that you would reject your old self. Do you feel like you'd have to change in order to gain friends with whom you'd have a more healthy relationship? And in this process, do you feel bad for your past friends and most importantly your past self? I think it's pretty normal that you sort of cling on to your past identity and experiences. Past feelings of "failure" and rejection really hurt, but wishing that your old friends or your old self could gain a healthy lifestyle and get certain results without changing or doing anything somehow, unfortunately in reality that just doesn't work. In life you just reap what you sow, and lots of people are just dealt with a bad hand of cards to start with. Continue to actualize, and I think at some point you would be able to not only gain new friends with which you could form a more healthy relationship, but you'd also understand your previous situation and the situation of your old friends. This would probably let you be able to reconcile with and accept your past self. It really sucks when you're bad with girls, but maybe you could focus on expanding your life experiences. Maybe get a new hobby where you could do some activity with a group of people. Or get a new task at your workplace where you'd work with another team in your company. I know it's hard when you are socially awkward to know new people. But these situations would really allow you to feel your inner insecurities and provide you the opportunity to confront them. As you build confidence, you'd naturally be comfortable in front of more and more people, including girls. Another suggestion would be therapy, but that would cost a bit.

If possible, I'd like to see a more fundamental video on emotions. I know Leo has made videos like what types of emotions there are on different levels, and how to master your emotions. And of course there are already videos on love/hate and fear, etc. However I think if the topic of where emotions actually come from and how they work can be explained, it would highly benefit those who struggle with their emotions.

My personal life is a testament of what Leo said here. Although this is still just our opinion, but I have to say in the end, Christianity is just a fucking cult.

Affirmations only work when you're serious about changing and have a practical method to do so. Otherwise, they don't work. I think affirmations can become destructive when in reality you are relatively positioned on the opposite side of the affirmation you make.

Seems like the environment that you grew up in attributed you with a sense of judgement about yourself. Overall, you didn't like some of the things that occurred in your family in the past. Now with this negative build up and a flawed self identity, you probably also have issues building relationships between your peers. You hate the world because you feel the world has abandoned you. No matter how hard you try, no one seems to ever give a fuck about you. Unfortunately this looks like a negative spiral downwards, my friend. You have a negative worldview about yourself, and your negativity repels those around you "proving" that you "don't deserve to be loved". Emotions are really a strong thing. Basically you need to cultivate a positive emotion which is stronger than the negative emotion to overcome this. And this positive emotion cannot be forced, it has to be genuine. Very hard. I wouldn't suggest you to do this directly. I wouldn't suggest to even try to be positive, because that is just damn hard right now. I used to be in this situation, and then when I suffered a depression, it took me ten years to overcome. For me the way to stop feeling guilt is to change how you see yourself, and in this process I changed my entire worldview. I think the changing your worldview part might be necessary, because how you see yourself is mainly built on how you think other people look at you. How you think other people look at you is based on your worldview. Logically, I think you would agree that there is no such thing as the idea of deserving or not deserving. What people think you deserve is only their selfish opinion. Anyone who is in your shoes, grew up the way you did, would end up in the exact same position as you. People are not better than you just because their circumstances were better. There is no fucking point in comparison here, because there is just nothing to compare with. I think the first thing you should do is to try to be exactly as you are right now. Just try to accept yourself as you are right now with no judgement. You need to jump out of neurotic ideas and let your emotions flow. Good thing would be to find a close friend and honestly talk about how you feel with him/her. Then I would recommend therapy, those this would cost you, but I wished I got therapy sooner. Would have saved me years of suffering, your happiness is way more important than any amount of money. Through therapy, you could understand more about yourself, identify your internal issues. And then you could gradually resolve those inner issues one by one. And so I think there's two parts to overcoming guilt. First is to develop this neutral mindset where you're able to look at your circumstance from a bigger point of view, big picture thinking here. There is a zillion reasons why you're the way you are, you just supposed to be the way you are right now. With understanding, you can become more calm about yourself. Then there is the work to change your habits, piece by piece, and generating results you want in your life. The neutral mindset is really important, because if you think negatively about yourself when you try and then "fail", it will hinder your will to continue. Work to change yourself in really small steps. The results will be exponential, meaning that the change is slow at first but you'll gradually change more and more quicker. Once you've overcome even one issue, you will be significantly stronger than you were before.

Yes, I still have a bit of this. It used to feel like someone else might see into the real me, I might get exposed somehow when people look at me.

I think it really depends on what your goal is. If you want to build skills for a potential career, I think these lessons don't teach you much. Their content are only useful because they may provide you concepts on which you could use to communicate with your future peers. As a software engineer, I only found lectures useful when I was studying for my master's degree, where I had to implement actual stuff. Very different from the conceptual lectures I had in college. Otherwise, there are lots to be learned only if you're interested.

Everyone has a foot in hell no matter their circumstances. Maybe we should just learn to admit that we're just goddamn monsters and try to accept that fact for a moment, from time to time.

I think finding the suitable field for yourself can be frustrating at times. The passion part takes a long time to develop after you've dived into a specific field, and I wouldn't expect any passion in college. If I could time travel back to my college years, instead of putting that much effort in studying, I would also try to be an intern at different companies. See what skills can be developed and finding those that I identify with most. I would try to satisfy my base desires first, like finding a high-income skill and being able to provide value, and try to build a sense of accomplishment. However most jobs are just a huge grind though.