mandyjw

Sure, why not? Couldn't have picked better ones, would totally do it again. Choice and not-choice is duality, when you tap into what your true desires are and make your choices based on that you actually drop resistance. In the lack of resistance, there is no choice but pure resonance and knowing. Like for example, if I give you the choice between a new iPhone and a broken flip phone, you'd say there's "no choice", right? See how this conflict just beautifully resolves and dissolves when you know what you want?

Or we could say that the magic is that there are no real separate parts, and you never actually reject or separate yourself at all.

In the waking state you seem to have subject, object consciousness. In the dream state, you also have subject object consciousness (perceiver and things perceived) but it's looser than the waking state. In deep sleep there is complete merging, or awareness with no object which is always your true state. You are always only aware of yourself. There's no time or memory in deep sleep because time and memory are based on a subject/object relationship or thoughts about it. Check out Rupert Spira's book, "The Nature of Consciousness" or his videos if you're short on time, he is an excellent resource on questions about sleep states.

Maybe you're his muse right now. Maybe if you really drop the concern about what he is not doing and do what you're inspired to do, the inspiration will get to him too.

Told my husband before we were married that I wanted a blue-eyed boy and brown-eyed girl. That's exactly what I got. You guys realize that the only reason you're here is because of some woman's "silly" desire? Creation is born out of desire, and it's no one's desire in particular. Any kind of creation, pregnancy and birth is all just about allowing creative power to flow.

Mind pushes the limits of where it can go and burns up. Like a moth to the flame. It is burned up in what illuminates it anyway.

@modmyth I was lucky, my mom shared very little about it, only if I asked. Got a crazy story or two from my mother-in-law but she is funny and sort of told it like battle stories. Just for anyone who is scared and also really wants kids someday, DON'T BE. There are SO many options right now. I had an intrathecal shot with both kids and actually giving birth was a total piece of cake. In my opinion epidurals are needlessly demonized. There's also hypnobirthing, and if you're experienced with meditation you can see right through the pain. Your mind naturally focuses and goes inward during labor. There are also pressure points on the low back you can have a partner press on to take the pain away from contractions that work really well, you'll want to train with a partner or have a doula though. Lots of options out there.

Physical pain is a very unique experience for each woman and pregnancy, before, during and after. Parts of it are really rough, other parts are absolutely amazing. But I was referring to life never being the same. That's a thing. We do a horrendous job of psychologically preparing women for birth and motherhood in our culture and it's a common way of airing and passing on trauma.

I used to think that too.

There are no distractions from enlightenment outside of your own thoughts about them. A lot of traditions make people assume that they require intense periods of solitude. This is a common desire that comes up on the path, but is not a requirement. It's way more fluid and mysterious than that. If you want relationships and avoid them to get enlightenment first, it won't work because enlightenment is not a thing you can obtain that is separate from your desires in life. A lot of momentum happened when I became a mother, I found that my identity completely had to change and I started suffering more intensely in new ways. This lead to asking a lot of questions, and reaching for answers and feeling better. Everyone ends up in completely unchartered waters as some point. Enlightenment is way more wild and wonderful than anything you can think about it.

@Preety_IndiaCan you get this book where you are? Honestly I haven't read this exact one, but the marriage version, but this author is really amazing. I had huge breakthroughs in all areas of my life after reading her book. https://www.amazon.com/Surrendered-Single-Practical-Attracting-Marrying/dp/0743217896/ref=sr_1_7?dchild=1&keywords=laura+doyle&qid=1611662103&sr=8-7

Female is the negative space of male, like male is the negative space of female. In order to create and combine you must first separate. Then you can combine in infinite ways. Think about how separate colors are possible. Red objects absorb all other colors but reflect or reject red light and so they appear red. White light or every single color is inherent in the select color red. Lights off, no red. Pure light, no red. Same with male and female. You can think of this by anatomical differences or psychological differences. One cannot exist without the other. To go further with that, each and every unique manifestation of all the billions of people and everything else on the planet is the same way. It's leaving something out to say that red isn't really a separate color because the experience of the color red depends on white light itself or the entire color spectrum. It's also leaving something out to say that red IS a distinct color. Nonduality and duality are one. We cannot say non -something without the thought of that something. So understanding all that, the female identity partly forms itself in opposite or in compliment to the male psyche. Essentially this means that we experience suffering differently. Like the color red, we reject certain parts of ourselves and therefore identify. Identification is saying this part of what I think I experience is me, and this other part is not me. Pure awareness does not distinguish between the sound of my voice or someone else's voice, it is thought that distinguishes. Making these distinctions for the purpose of creation is beautiful, but making these distinctions to cut oneself off from creation is suffering. Each individual person has formed uniquely different ways in which they suffer, identify and unique beliefs which hold these thought patterns in place. So what does this mean when it comes to enlightenment? Enlightenment is the transcendence of suffering. So the same goal can mean letting go of very different beliefs. You can have people who are assertive and arrogant, who cut themselves off from feeling how they affect others and who (apparently) suffer from pride and disconnection. Or you can have people who are shy and feel inadequate, who feel rejection and tap into empathic suffering with others so strongly that they hide from the world. Red and green are opposites on the color wheel and yet, have a lot in common. The movement of suffering is the very same. The insecure person inwardly struggles with pride and the prideful person inwardly struggles with inadequacy. They may reflect different colors to the world but they experience the same suffering. That's why two people's paths can look like absolute opposites of each other, but really aren't at all.

@soos_mite_ah Have you seen this? Dr. Christiane Northrup is awesome for a more wholistic, spiritual approach to women's health. It won't directly answer your question but might give you some new things to consider. The initial description of what it is is a little dramatic and lengthy in my opinion but the suggestions are at the end.

@soos_mite_ah How do you intuitively feel about it, what's your gut feeling?

@charlie cho Some of my symptoms were very real, others weren't and they mysteriously disappeared as soon as I stopped giving thought to them. I had a doctor confirm one, send me for a test and then by the time I had the test the problem had almost completely vanished. It was a strange experience. This is a key realization, you cannot purposefully forget something. For example, when I was a little kid I used to bury toys in the sandbox so I could find them later. It was no fun unless I had forgotten them. So I'd try to forget. It doesn't work. You can only distract yourself with something you want to do more. Forgetting is not something we can do, but paradoxically just like the buried toys, if we make the intention, we CAN forget by focusing on something else, and only something we really WANT and enjoy focusing on will do. So you need to forget your health problems, which you can't do. I can tell you to just forget it, but you'll find that you cannot do that. It's like a little kid who just put freezie pops in the freezer and wants to stop suffering by being too impatient to wait for them to freeze. So make the intention to find something that you really want to do. Starting small when you have a lot of resistance is key. Then dream big, daringly big. At first you don't feel like watching Bugs Bunny, you want a goddamn freezie pop right now. But pretty soon you get laughing and before you know it, you have a nicely frozen freezie pop AND Bugs Bunny, and then what's next? Dreaming of how to get your first paper route.

The essence of nonduality is that you CAN have your cake and eat it too.

So appropriate or (not appropriate) here.

Well, I've been trained all my life that my physical looks are my true, upmost value that I can offer mankind, so magically, no, not really!

I think we can point the finger at @zeroISinfinity who notoriously makes hilariously inappropriate comments about his favorite male AND female gurus. He knows we love him so it's all good, except it would be nice if he saw the light and saved his drool for this own vision board or something. I felt like I was reacting, and went in later to delete my thumbs up post and mysteriously couldn't sign in to the forum after that, so oh well. Appreciation of beauty is good, appreciation is appreciation. Honestly though a lot of men kinda suck at actually listening to women, and one of the distractions is too much attention to looks and one is disregarding their value, and sometimes both go together. I mean, I do the same thing in my own way. Hated a male spiritual teacher at first who was really key and helpful later cause I didn't like his hair or his attitude or something, who knows. It's sort of a trap in the spiritual teaching world to judge the appearance and not listen. Ultimately it's not a gender prejudice issue at all. It also reminded me that a few weeks ago someone left this comment on one of my youtube videos. "Just wasted 2 mins of my life on this crap. This lady is clearly not okay. She’s blabbing some nonsense which no one can understand. I’m guessing that your tiny view rates probably comes from your good looks. Otherwise nobody would waste their time with this." People find all kinds of reasons to disregard themselves, which is essentially what the message is pointing to, and coming from... no one else.

Well, lesson learned. Apparently no one on the forum is mature enough to handle a thread with the word "vagina" in the title.

Oh, don't be fooled by Sadhguru's beard. Lots of effort goes in to looking super low maintenance.

@Preety_India From my own experience, I think sometimes we protect ourselves from feeling and expressing the pain points of being female because we can feel other people's discomfort or disapproval when we do. So we try to pretend that we're immune, we pretend that we're cool. We laugh at jokes aimed at other women that we don't really think are funny. But we feel it, and we cover over it. And that perpetuates it. We sometimes look out for our own survival and approval from men, and skip speaking up when there is obvious inequality. Expression is good, but how you feel is the most important thing. It seems like for the most part, women want security while men want freedom, and it seems that these two desires are at odds, but they aren't. When women feel insecure and men feel like they aren't free, then lot's of pain and hurt is caused, and yeah, the brunt of it often seems to land on the woman because of the nature of those desires. In our actual experience though, freedom and security are the same thing, and love itself. This is the saving grace of the whole thing and the only real equality that's available. You can't all of sudden make yourself feel better about a topic that you're really feeling off about, so allow yourself that. People often assume that we can make that jump, but we can't. We have to go through the stages of expressing frustrations before we're ready to feel a bit better, and then a bit better again about something. Not in a pretend, covering over feelings but still privately, inwardly hurt way for the convenience of a male dominated forum, but for real. But just know, because you are so loved, your TRUE security IS your freedom and it's already in your hands. Empowerment and security is nothing you need anyone to hand you, because it is already yours. But there's certainly no shame in not feeling this right now.

@Flyboy ?

A metal straw keeps your teeth white. Don't demonize the coffee, that's how we create addictions out of minor issues in our head. Coffee isn't unhealthy for everyone, just pay attention to how it makes you feel. Pay attention to the positive reasons why you want to quit, having your own energy, having a clearer head, better sleep, etc. Also like others said, just cut back gradually, maybe cut 1/4 for a week, then another 1/4, then another. See how you feel.

People will see what they want to see. Drop the thoughts about what other people are thinking, do what makes you happy and the feeling of joy and okayness is the real authenticity you're looking for. It's way better than any thought of your own authenticity or the question of it being accepted or not. People often associate receptivity with being feminine and they often associate free creative expression with being feminine. I don't believe that they really are inherently feminine. I think our culture just arbitrarily assigned them to one gender, sort of like the color pink. Is it possible that that's what you really want, to drop thoughts of what people think, to be receptive and to express yourself freely? Is it possible that you assume that this will make you perceived more like a girl? Do we actually know if that's the case until you allow yourself more freedom? I'm just saying, put feeling, joy and desire over identity and thoughts of "what will that make me if I do x, etc"