mandyjw

18:10ish "Oh, ok so.. how long was your surgery?" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

Believing that love is outside you and separate from you, and so you cut yourself off from your own feeling, inspiration, intuition, and Source of Love itself in order to get it.

@Zigzag Idiot You ok? Happy to talk if you want at any point.

Gaslighting is a form of vague lying. Truth is power and the only reason anyone avoids it is in favor of lies is fear and insecurity which comes out of misunderstanding. The lie is a way of perpetuating misunderstanding. While it appears that the person telling the lie DOES know how things really are and that can be infuriating, misunderstanding is still the name of the game. Both parties are focusing on their own inadequacy. The difference is that in identification one looks like the abuser and one looks like the victim, but those judgements are very short sighted. People deny and reflect different behaviors out of fear. Some become aggressive, some become shy and passive in response. It's as impersonal as a color appearing as the color that it reflects or rejects, all colors are born out of and seen in white light, in all potential of the separate colors. One of the major issues that comes up in communities like this is that encouragement to drop what we know in order to let in a deeper Truth, Love or clarity often is first judged or passed off as a kind of gaslighting or avoidance. It's not. You, only YOU, know it for yourself by how it feels. The whole point is to connect YOU with your own inner power, which turns out to be quite impersonal and therefore... unlimited. We don't see clearly or allow this power unless we are in a relaxed, allowing states. You could say that sitting to meditate is gaslighting yourself, but if you've done it for very long you've seen it as an opportunity to let insight and new perspectives in that truly heal rather than perpetuate the feeling of inadequacy that brought the gaslighting. When you pay attention to how you feel, you go immediately for the healing you seek and you also allow the specific healing you seek to find you. Concepts of abuser and abused prevent this. Healing is wholeness, if you keep defining the separation, you don't allow the healing to occur on its own. That doesn't mean that we don't sometimes hold people accountable or call them out. We do. But your own inner view of the situation and your role in it is critical. Healing does not come from believing that your relief comes from the other's suffering. There's no eye for an eye in healing, just two lost eyes. You're thoughts are more powerful than you realize. You are more powerful than you realize.

@Keyhole I honestly don't know what you're referring to, fill me in please? Ok, I checked out your journal. I promise I hadn't listened to your vlog and the video had nothing to do with it, it's just my own recent insights and experience. If you want to talk more I'm happy to talk it over in PM since you don't want responses in your journal.

I know how that feels. Leo's Spiral Dynamics series was really key to helping me let go of the feeling of anger and isolation. I was raised in a stage blue culture, inundated with stage blue religion and I really couldn't stand it and felt alone most of my childhood, adolescence and early adulthood. After I felt like I could understand them better, and understand the bigger picture process better, I started looking at commonalities and things to appreciate rather than differences, and there were so many. Turns out I had built walls of isolation and differences in a lot of ways other than that. Completely relate to this too. Again, as you start to look for things to love in others and yourself it feels less like "why me God?" and more like sheer inspiration. Feeling good and focus are the same here. Sometimes you gotta stand up and say something, and it feels a whole lot better to do that then stand silent. Even if you upset some people, you're less likely to feel it as if it were personal.

Funny that oneness is in the word itself, aloneness, alloneness One is the first separation and definition, cause you gotta have one before you can get to two. It's both separate and not separate. One is something, not nothing. All other numbers are variations of one, two is two ones, three is three and so on.

This book is SO good on this subject. https://www.amazon.com/Transparency-Things-Contemplating-Nature-Experience/dp/1626258805/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=the+transparency+of+things&qid=1612370635&sr=8-1

Wildly different views challenge what you think yourself to be or what you think yourself to know, just like gay or gender fluidity challenges people's identities when they have identified strongly with the gender norms they were taught. Reaction and judgment is all in how you identify yourself. It can manifest in any number of ways, cause you can identify and think in any number of ways.

@allislove

Problem = Challenge? problem (n.) late 14c., probleme, "a difficult question proposed for discussion or solution; a riddle; a scientific topic for investigation," from Old French problème (14c.) and directly from Latin problema, from Greek problēma "a task, that which is proposed, a question;" also "anything projecting, headland, promontory; fence, barrier;" also "a problem in geometry," literally "thing put forward," from proballein "propose," from pro "forward" https://www.etymonline.com/word/problem Challenge = Fun. fun (n.) "diversion, amusement, mirthful sport," 1727, earlier "a cheat, trick" (c. 1700), from verb fun (1680s) "to cheat, hoax," which is of uncertain origin, probably a variant of Middle English fonnen "befool" (c. 1400; see fond). https://www.etymonline.com/search?q=fun challenge (v.) c. 1200, "to rebuke," from Old French chalongier "complain, protest; haggle, quibble," from Vulgar Latin *calumniare "to accuse falsely," from Latin calumniari "to accuse falsely, misrepresent, slander," from calumnia "trickery" (see calumny). From late 13c. as "to object to, take exception to;" c. 1300 as "to accuse," especially "to accuse falsely," also "to call to account;" late 14c. as "to call to fight." Also used in Middle English with sense "claim, take to oneself." https://www.etymonline.com/search?q=challenge So if you accept the objection, you canceled it out as if it never was, I guess.

Random vs structured is a duality, so it's a thought and not actual. Time is a thought, and cause and effect are thoughts in a dualistic world, which you create and place yourself in, in thought. It's going beyond all of these things, seeing them for what they are and knowing that you are not that, not a thing caught in time, but the awareness of the thoughts that make time seem to appear... as another thought. That Awareness which IS you paradoxically opens "you" up to breakthroughs, as it is the breakthrough. You are already completely open and susceptible. Problem is, you think this is a problem, that you are a problem, that has a problem.

Sometimes we tend to think that we need comparison for love. Love is not two in the experience of it. In the thought of it, there can be the duality of love and hate. So we think we need to love one thing and not another. For example I may believe that my hatred towards brussel sprouts actually solidifies and strengthens my love toward carrots. When in reality when I'm actually loving carrots there's no thought of brussel sprouts. Or carrots even.

@Loving Radiance What rails? I don't see any rails. Ok, I'll contribute something helpful. This blew my mind on the subject of memory. "When an object, which is simple an appearance in Consciousness, is present, its subsequent recollection is obviously not yet present. It is non-existent. Likewise when the recollection, which is simply a thought in Consciousness, takes place, the original object is no longer present. It is non-existent." In other words, two objects cannot appear in Consciousness at the same time. When one is present the other is not, and vice versa. How then can a non-existent object be remembered? it cannot. An object is never remembered. It is in fact a third thought which apparently connects the second thought, the recollection, with the first thought, the object. And when the third thought is present, neither the object nor its recollection is present. The third thought is therefore a concept that does not relate to an experience. Time and memory are apparently created with that third thought, but have no existence apart from that thought." -Rupert Spira, The Transparency of Things

@Loving Radiance Like he knows what you had for lunch but only if it's really really important to no one in particular.

@commie You're right, stress is like having blinders on to all the opportunities around. You don't have to know what you want to do right now. Make the intention to find what you're really inspired about. Start to become very aware of things around you and see what you really gravitate towards. Often it starts out as something small.

@commie Stressing out about stress is stress. You can't war against war without starting a new war. You have to determine the opposite of what you don't want to feel, and focus on whatever makes you feel happy or at peace.

Everybody deillusions.

Choose to do something you want to do so much that stress pales in comparison with how thrilled you are to be doing it.

Consciousness got you, you no got it.

@Opo Weird! I should probably have my iron levels tested at some point.

Will never happen. No one is better than another.

It's beyond curses and gifts and duality. Harry Potter is at the same time both cursed and gifted. So is the hero of every good story. You're like Harry Potter, and life is the same. Go beyond thought, go beyond duality and you enter the creative realm of the Author, not the character. Characters can die, Author cannot.

What you reject always comes back around to you, you have no control over just how. Life is a gift, you can reject it and make everyone who does understand what a gift you really are extremely sad, but "you'll" be given the chance to understand again and again. It's like getting Rickrolled by the Universe. What you desire to see and understand is the gift of your true nature, and realize it's so good it can never die anyway. If you kill yourself, you obviously missed the lesson of this, because you believed there was a you that you could gain something by riding yourself of.

Instant pots are the best!