mandyjw

The other night I dreamed I got into a minor car accident, but it was SO annoying. Guy ahead of me stopped, I was super annoyed and had to stop and basically waited and watched in the rear view mirror while someone not paying attention rear-ended me. I feel shook up, like bottomless, falling sensation in stomach, tears, etc. It's not that anything big happened, wait, am I still trying to explain my feelings? Fuck that. Awakening started with opening to the idea of channeling, judging and being creeped out by Abraham Hicks, but resonating SO profoundly then shortly weeks later experiencing channeling. I recognized that certain people's vibrations would bring this out, and it has always been happening that way. Since that, I have experienced it off and on, and there really is no border between a writer's "voice", inspired words, or anything else, but it can be intoxicating. You know when you know it. This morning on the forum a number of my responses were/felt channeled. They felt amazing. Visited my sister and that was weird, weird observations there and came back and the responses to these responses were somewhat sickening. I don't really care much who the OP is, usually the people you help are the ones who attract the reading of the thread, not necessarily outright ask the question. But it doesn't matter, I LOVE to get a response that something resonated and felt as good to read as it felt to write. But I want to be more stable in just how it felt to write being enough. I have realized lately that I am a teacher, I can fuck around and reject this all I want, but this is happening. I'm good at this, I've always been good at this, there's nothing more natural. I LOVE making the videos, the entire process. I love people, I love talking to people who really want to learn, I love it so much I don't even care much if they don't. I'm scared. I guess I'm still scared. I have no fucking credentials. I'm a petite, shy, high school educated housewife who makes pretty insignificant little things. I know this is bullshit. I know what I am. I've always known what I am. Lyin! Lion. Suddenly my business name makes even more sense. It's big, powerful and it's small and lowly and significant at the same time. The dandelion. In a moment of spontaneous enjoyment and whimsy the perfect form disappears and spreads its potential all across, wherever they may fall.

The magic of sex is that when we're really making love we are so focused on the other person and so fully feeling ourselves that all self referential or insecure thoughts dissolve. Funny that just before this possible "occurrence", all kinds of thoughts of not being enough come up. Of course they do. Those thoughts are exactly what they say they are, they are not enough. Has nothing to do with any body parts or anyone, has a lot to do with the thoughts themselves. You want to focus on something much more fulfilling. Focus on what you want feel.

When considering your peers, consult Maslow's peer amid. In the middle is relationships (sense of love and belonging) and esteem (respect for self and others). Maybe focus and journal about that area of your life, focusing on what you want.

I'd go with your intuition on it. If you're genuinely curious, don't mind spending the money and don't care about the result, you'll already have the mindset in order to be open to it being effective anyway. However exploring on your own can be really rewarding too. I once listened to a podcast with someone who was really into transcendental meditation and basically I gleaned from it "Oh, meditation is supposed to feel amazing!". It was a big insight. Maybe they said something about the crown chakra too. You're already a member of the Illuminati you know, Illuminati, the Eye of Providence, the all seeing eye in a pyramid, (peer amid), Awareness, "what is" looking at this right now. Same damn thing, open and available for everyone, and yet also, completely secretive and unfindable. You're more powerful than you know. So powerful you can play student if you'd like. A good pupil is just a black hole that is "what" allows light in, otherwise there's no seeing.

When I was 15 a traumatic emotional event happened and I got an intense migraine. After I recovered I realized had eye floaters, realized they were permanent and started focusing on them. I had all kinds of thoughts. "Oh my God, am I going blind? I can't even look at the sky anymore, there are all these strange projections of strings and dots." My algebra class had white walls and I would unfocus my eyes and stare at my eye floaters instead of paying attention to anything else. I found an online internet forum for people with eye floaters, full of people absolutely miserable about this situation. Instead of finding any support there, I found a ton of people FAR more obsessed and depressed about it than I was. I started polling everyone older than me, do you have eye floaters? Almost everyone said yes, but no one seemed affected by it or cared about it. Then I realized that if I just focused on what I was seeing, on what I wanted to look at instead of the floaters, they might as well not even exist. They didn't exist, unless I focused on them. The importance of focus and focusing on what you want to see, not what you do not want to see is HUGE when it comes to consciousness and personal development. If you focus on the neurosis, whether in yourself or in others that's all you see. However, the amazing thing about it is that is shows you that you CAN raise your standards, that anything is possible, but you must focus on what you WANT. You are a powerful focuser. Lots of people who find there way "here" are. The problem with that is that it makes it of upmost importance that you recognize the power of focus IS to focus on what you want. Meditation teaches us to relax our thinking, the tensions and then, it opens to door to inspiration which is the power behind, and the eventual direction for what you want to focus on.

Meditation IS sinking into sheer appreciation of awareness and feeling, the Source of what you are. If you don't practice appreciation in everyday life you can't expect to appreciate meditation, likewise meditation enhances appreciation in regular life. You know for yourself the path of least resistance in the moment. You don't shut your eyes while looking at a beautiful sunset because you have the thought that it's an image, and images aren't "real". That's like a fundamental Christian who truly enjoys rock music but won't listen to it and gets a scowl on his face when he hears it playing in the store because he believes that if he lets himself enjoy it, God might smite him for it. There's no God to smite you and there's no overlooking awareness. There's only escaping enjoyment and feeling now because you have the belief that if you deprive yourself of it now, you might be able to still get it later. It makes no sense! ?

That's amazing. I've been doing really short sits spontaneously during the day whenever I feel like I need it, and it's amazing how often I'll get hit with an idea or inspiration and if not then the way I feel is more than enough.

Oh, I ALREADY carefully choose, feel into and align with what I want. I'm already a master at this. I forgot and started to tell another story, maybe because I thought it was more interesting and I forgot that more interesting is not actually more authentic, and more interesting is not more enthralling and more interesting is not what feels the best. I'm raising my standards so high, I don't have any anymore. At some point they shot through the atmosphere and the rest of us just stood there watching where they had been with our mouths hanging open for a while, until we lost interest and went on with our lives. Happily. Ever. After.

It's not a phase, you have the potential to experience joy (even intense joy) and peace at any point. It's really just about noticing when you are there and appreciating the heck out of it. Your attitude about your journey mimics the attitude anyone who feels unfulfilled has about life "something is missing, I'm not right, I'm not doing it right, I'm not advanced enough, I'm not good enough, etc" has. It doesn't matter if they've even heard of enlightenment or not, it's the same pattern. This belief that something is off and something in unreachable, that life is unsatisfactory will color your experience to reflect it. If you want truly want the future to be different, now must be different. The future will not magically change because we think now is not enough. Now must be enough, because now is all there is. The way "through" it is to intend to find things to appreciate, and to sink into appreciation of things. When we have spent our lives looking for things to complain about and looking for things that are wrong, the way to undo this is to intend to find things that you truly appreciate. It can hep to start with the easiest subjects, nature, surroundings, etc. Appreciate how comfy your bed is before you go to sleep, appreciate the people in your life, even if you have to find specific little aspects to focus on. Appreciate how perfect the earth is, how perfectly situated it is from the sun, how incredibly amazing it is that THIS is happening at all. Appreciate yourself. You ARE that same perfection.

Your questioning the outside observation and judgement of an animal being enlightened or not, and a scientist questioning whether light is a wave or a particle so he can know what it is and finding that it entirely depends on the observer, because the "thing" and the awareness "of the thing" are not ever separate, well, it struck me as the same thing.

“What you seek is seeking you.” Rumi

Light enlightens things. No light, no appearance of things, no separate things. So if you see something that seemingly reflects light back to you, it's all the same light. He who smelt it dealt it. Call it your light if you want, you're the light. Light of course, is neither a movement (wave) or a thing (particle) and for us to call it one or the other, we the observer, decide which it is. Are you, the observer, a movement, a verb, something you are doing, or are you also a solid thing? If you were a solid thing, then how could you observe at all?

No idea who that is, but if you are God, then "you" are not, and God is not, and you are not God, nonduality, both statements simultaneously true/false. You create uncertainty and confusion by trying to figure out what "this" is, in exclusion of what it's not. Sink into the uncertainty and confusion and you find it to be the very creative power itself. Knowing is Unknowing, you cannot learn anything unless you drop the current perspective that says it "knows" and become aware/open to something entirely new. You cannot find the answer to a question if you keep asking and feeling the absence of the answer, you must be open to the answer. Otherwise you remain someone who knows that they don't know.

Huh, I just realized, doom is mood spelled backwards. That's a good one.

If you really, truly believed you were doomed and had nothing to lose, you'd discover that you have the upmost freedom to relate to others, clearly, purely, uninhibitedly from the heart. What gets you is the split energy, you're doubting your own desires but you won't let it go either. You are already fulfilled, happily ever after, but you are SO fulfilled and happily ever after that you can create and evolve and experience love in the world in a plethora of forms. This inclination comes in the form of a desire that comes straight out of the already fulfillment that you are. That sense of doom, (really, that sense that it's already done), IS the sense that you have nothing to lose and are here only for the joy of it. There is no possibility of loss or missing out on anything. Because your desire comes straight from fulfillment and what is already whole, doubting it feels so, so wrong. You are only sensing the power of your own perfect guidance system, here to guide you to create whatever you want. Now that you know that, check it off the list of your inspection paper, "yep guidance systems works fine", NOW get in the car, go where you wish and put it to productive use and appreciate it instead of using it against yourself. It's here to work for you. It's all for you.

So think of a rubber band held at a point and actively pulled/stretched from another. That's you. That's your attention. That's your a tension. For you to become, be-come, be, (a point) come, (stretch/move), you have to exist (stick out) of a background of nonbecoming and your tension, your sticking out (existing), your be-coming must always "be" its true nature, nonbeing, nonmovement, nonexistance. Our existance is like the universe sliding down a steep, snowy hill enjoying the thrill of nonresitance and drudging back up it again to repeat the thrill. It's all fun and games until someone forgets it's all fun and games. You can just sit down in the snow if you want while you remember that you're not compelled to repeat the cycle. It doesn't matter. Since thier own attension is the ONLY tension, there is no tension imposed upon them. Up on is another way of saying be come, or tension/attention, a thing and a movement. upon (prep.) early 12c., from Old English uppan (prep.) "on, upon, up to, against," from up (adv.) + on (prep.); probably influenced by Scandinavian sources such as Old Norse upp a. On, Upon. These words are in many uses identical in force, but upon is by origin (up + on) and in use more distinctly expressive of motion to the object from above or from the side. On has the same force, but is so widely used in other ways, and so often expresses mere rest, that it is felt by careful writers to be inadequate to the uses for which upon is preferred. [Century Dictionary, 1895] https://www.etymonline.com/word/upon Once. Upon. A. Time. Happily. Ever. After. And before the story, the middle of the story, and after the story is just... your Aware, attention creates the story. "Happily ever after is the order of the Universe." -Abraham Hicks

tension (n.) 1530s, "a stretched condition," from French tension (16c.) or directly from Latin tensionem (nominative tensio) "a stretching" (in Medieval Latin "a struggle, contest"), noun of state from tensus, past participle of tendere "to stretch," from PIE root *ten- "to stretch." The sense of "nervous strain" is first recorded 1763. The meaning "stress along lines of electromotive force" (as in high-tension wires) is recorded from 1785. attention (n.) late 14c., "a giving heed, active direction of the mind upon some object or topic," from Old French attencion and directly from Latin attentionem (nominative attentio) "attention, attentiveness," noun of action from past-participle stem of attendere "give heed to," literally "to stretch toward," from ad "to, toward" (see ad-) + tendere "stretch," from PIE root *ten- "to stretch." tender (adj.) "soft, easily injured," early 13c., from Old French tendre "soft, delicate; young" (11c.), from Latin tenerem (nominative tener) "soft, delicate; of tender age, youthful," from a derivative of PIE root *ten- "to stretch," on the notion of "stretched," hence "thin," hence "weak" or "young." Compare Sanskrit tarunah "young, tender," Greek teren "tender, delicate," Armenian t'arm "young, fresh, green." tend (v.1) "to incline, to move in a certain direction," early 14c., from Old French tendre "stretch out, hold forth, hand over, offer" (11c.), from Latin tendere "to stretch, extend, make tense; aim, direct; direct oneself, hold a course," from PIE root *ten- "to stretch." You cannot stretch anything without having two seperate points. The act of stretching is an act in duality with creates tension and then the enivitable release of that resistance, momentum and all movement. Tension could not be created at all if the true nature was not non-resistance and nonseperation. Ok, so this is where string theory comes from, but actually because there is no matter outside Awareness of it, it's the observer holding the attention or stretching thier own attention from observer to object that is the "string", so to speak. Every love song or love story is an exploration of the same sort, string theory is an exploration. Every scientist's cold, logical contemplations and observations are as emotional and subjective as an Elvis song and every Elvis song is as cold and impersonal as a scientist's data.

Yes, if you abide in/as awareness (which is what deep sleep is) and stop unecessary thought loops by tapping into inspiration, appreciation and joy you waste less energy in thought and needless action. Sleeping less can be a possible side effect of doing that. Fasting or eating less can be too. I don't think I'd recommend going about it backwards though.

Awakening and liberation is about releasing resistance. The path of least resistance looks different for everyone. If you're taking spiritual teachers too "seriously" in first place, there might just be some unnecessary resistance in that. If there is true resonance (Love) beyond judgements and expectations with a teacher, technique, or anything, it's the path of least resistance.

"You accept very low standards." THIS is what I was asking last night, I was starting to literally ask it from my dad and something stopped me, why do personal development coaches help but also hinder when they tell us/motivate to set the bar higher? Because the real standard you should be raising is how you want/expect to FEEL, your very Awareness of feeling. Everything else is only a very indirect desire to feel better and will come at the expense of feeling unless this is understood.

@Dark_White ?❤ @Swarnim Fall completely and totally in love with your life. Appreciate everything and everyone as it is. Meet feelings of suffering with curiosity and openness knowing that the suffering is a misunderstanding, and if we seek to understand it through the means to an end seeking motivation of wanting to avoid it, like the ox, it cannot show itself to us.

@Mason Riggle