mandyjw

Them babies are much less likely to get stuck when they come out. There I ruined it for all of you. You're welcome!

If you get all scientific about it even the reason we are attracted to shiny cars and jewels is because of some survival purpose that shiny=water and so what is good for survival is often mistakenly equated with beauty. You might not really be open to seeing beauty around you, but theoretically if there's some desire for something already there that appreciation and that message is going to make it's way through all that anyway. What you're attracted to grabs your attention, you focus on it over other things. The potential for beauty and appreciation is in all things once you realize that you are not separate from the world or at the mercy of survival. You are the power to focus and you are all the periphery too.

@LastThursday Out of it, or just plain lost it, I don't know!

????

People gravitate to the teachers who echo their own sentiments about themselves I guess.

OMG, I have a mind??? I've been searching for that elusive bastard all my life.

Started taking liquid iron, magnesium and a multivitamin every now and then, stopped eating nearly as much meat and found a powdered plant protein I can tolerate, started deep breathing throughout the day, started drinking unpasteurized local raised kefir, Spring is in full force, and I have so much energy, I don't know what exactly to attribute it to. Oh... I just remembered, you don't have to attribute stuff.

I don't buy the, "I was born in a body"

I've always been pretty much the same weight my whole life, but every once in a while in the past I've decide I want to lose weight and get optimally skinny or whatever. So to have the motivation to not eat what I want and be hungry, I have to motivate myself so I start pinching fat and looking for problem areas and motivating myself that these need attention. Then I constantly think about food, is this the right food or the wrong food? And then I get fatter. If however, I put out a loose intention to lose a few pounds and eat a bit better and then focus on all the unrelated amazing projects and activities I have going in life, I get slim and trim. This is how law of attraction works, awareness of the problem or the desire gives birth to the solution, (having a rough start like you describe means that in your case, this is very powerful and it's a very Good thing potentially) but if you continually focus on what's going wrong or what you don't want, you get more of it. You have to focus on the honest feeling of already being whole and fulfilled to allow in the feeling of it, which is directly what you're looking for. You want to be more conscious because it feels good. Thoughts about oneself as more conscious miss the mark, because what you really want is the experience of the feeling. Forgive the thoughts that you think are old programming and just focus on choosing one that feels better. Resisting or beating ourselves up for thinking a thought we didn't want to think is another thought we don't want to think. Just pick one that feels better. Mindfulness sort of turns you into the biggest ADD "oh, look there's a squirrel!" kind of person, but when you're on some crappy repetitive subject there's nothing better you can do than break focus of it.

Awareness of the problem is only useful as far as to give birth to the solution. It's out of inspiration, not depression or defeatism, that positive action and healing are allow to occur. So you are becoming aware of your connection/oneness with all and your desire to uplift and enhance their happiness and well being. That's AMAZING. The next step is the realization that the best way to achieve this is to allow your own well being. You cannot get sick enough to make someone else well. You cannot get depressed enough to make someone else happy.

Those heavy metals are everywhere and naturally occurring, so it's not weird that it's legal to put them in products. People have even used aluminum in food for years, (baking powder, antacids). Often as you start using more natural products you will begin to feel a heightened sensitivity to toxic products. Artificial fragrances decrease sensitivity to smell, they are like sensory clutter. It's the equivalent of living in a hoarder's house with newspapers and books stacked to the ceiling. Scented laundry detergent is a major source of chemical fragrance. You don't realize how much your senses open up until you get rid of them. There are much milder natural fragrances that are nice, or essential oils if you do well with them. I've always gotten some sort of pain, ill effects or headaches from most artificial products so I've been on the natural bandwagon for a really long time. It starts to just become intuitive when something isn't beneficial and you don't need to constantly read articles online about what's bad or evil or toxic anymore.

You already are actualized femininity, no thought required. Insecure thoughts are contagious if you're in the habit of believing them. Find something to do that brings you joy on a whole different subject until you can come back to this one without feeling bad about it. Men love inspired women, and when you're happy and carefree you become strangely powerful and don't care about men, except if it just adds to the inspiration and happiness you already are enjoying.

Jeeeesus. Of course! You'd be signaled to back down if someone is exhibiting strong emotion.

You cannot cloud over this. No matter how hard you try. I fucking love clouds. *Looks outside.* Funny it was really cloudy today, and now it's cloudless. When I was driving today the sun would go away and as I drove the clouds moved and the sun seemed to move and it was like when I moved the sun did too. The universe played into my narcissism. That's pretty much all the "external" universe is, a play of your narcissism. "Narcissus is a genus of predominantly spring flowering perennial plants of the amaryllis family, Amaryllidaceae. Various common names including daffodil, narcissus and jonquil are used to describe all or some members of the genus. " My face actually feels flushed from journaling. Strange but cool.

HE THINKS it's actually the daisies she wants! THAT FUCKING FOOL! He can't see what's happening! He thinks she won't want them, because he actually thinks it's about the daisies! There are no fools. FOOL!!! So whose fault is it? Fault, a rift that is moving. It's no one's fault. The fault is the opening where "what is" and who we think we are falls apart.

"Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. " Or just stop shaming. George Bush got it right. OOOOHHHHHH. I know what's happened to my mind. Happened? to? my? mind? Yeah, I know. I'm intensely aware that I'm making my own meanings, so I can no longer fixate on a specific meaning as much and automatically assume it, but I still feel the absence of the meaning so I automatically obsessively flip through them like a flip book. He loves me! He loves me not! I don't get it! I can't get it! I still so love the play of words here. I know that the search is futile, but the momentum is still going. It's fun when it's a play on words. (Moment-um? by the way) but it's not fun when it's something I have attachments to or seems to really matter. There aren't any zombie people Mandy. Hangs head in sorrow. I can imagine a little girl in a field ripping the petals off a daisy, searching for an answer as a boy stands there watching her, unknown to her, with a bouquet of daisies, that he now no longer wants to give her. How does Source feel about that? It's scarier than anything else I can envision, zombies included. What are you saying, I need to say "fuck the law of attraction"? The law of attraction is the boy. And you aren't the girl. Geez, that's a relief.

Got some sort of strange form or perspective of understanding about the existence of other people, I don't know if I can put it into words but it feels amazing. For some reason one of the huge sources of suffering has been my exertion of so much effort trying to figure out people, are they good, can I trust them? If they loved me once, do they still love me? Was the love really real? Do I actually love them? And I realized that I had already worked through this PAINFULLY with my relationship with my father. There's someone so close to me, someone whose genes I share, someone who had the strongest influence on me, and I came to the relaxation after years of dealing with him and the STARK gut wrenching contrast while he was under the influence of alcohol and under the influence of Source, that there is only influence. Rather, there are not two influences, and no one to be under them but dynamic, alive awareness. By insisting that other people are alive in thought and that I can know them in thought with adjectives and nouns, I actually murder them. I turn them into zombies in my own mind. My daughter said something about a zombie Peppa pig that got me thinking, why are zombies so horrific? (And yet so tantalizingly entertaining) Because they aren't really dead, but they aren't any longer the character that we expect either, instead they are a force that's coming for everything that we think we are. I'm haunted by the notion that everyone I love is actually really horrible, and I don't see it out of naivete. If I dropped the need to see myself as good, why did I maintain it when it came to others? You think you could do one and not the other? I guess I never did drop the need to see myself as good. Let's dissect. "The need." All you are IS "see yourself and Good". The need is born out of the belief that you NOT this. The Universe just brought my distracted mind this. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baker-Miller_pink "Baker-Miller Pink, also known as P-618, Schauss pink, or Drunk-Tank Pink is a tone of pink which has been observed to reduce hostile, violent or aggressive behavior." Colors effect emotions, of course, one translation of energy, effects the corresponding translation of energy. Pink is of course, made fun of by masculine and thought to be only enjoyed by feminine. (This is our story.) The feminine "role" is to reduce hostile, violent or aggressive behavior. Not just for her survival but for the survival or her children and community. And so we do this... BOOM. Look at the synchronicity with to OP's avatar. Damn! It's not that I don't see myself as good, it's that I don't see myself as safe, or good enough. I depend on men reacting to the "color pink" positively. But I don't know that they always will, and so what I can do is try to know them, see if I can really trust them, see if they have my and the collective "my" best interests at heart. And then... I (psychologically) turn them into Zombies. Reminds me of Kali, in preventing war, in protecting innocence, she's also bloodthirsty. Law of attraction, what you resist, persists. By turning them into zombies, I actually make them something that I have to be extremely vigilant to defend myself from. I can't actually know them, or deem them safe. I have to constantly be on the lookout. It's exhausting! Instead of Awareness, and trusting source, I've traded it in for constant vigilance. CONSTANT VIGILANCE! MAD EYE MOODY! And HE'S the fake, the IMPOSTER! OHH!!! Of course. What's hilarious is that I forgot that part the second time through the books. Completely fucking FORGOT that Mad Eye Moody was an imposter. It was tantalizing, I got to be surprised, ALL over again. Oh god, now I'm really laughing at myself. Hermione screams out for compassion. This video popped up strangely. She uses the same analogy of constant vigilance. When you replace "email" with "thinking" it sort of fits. If you mistake constant vigilance for Awareness, it feels awful. Funny how in theory they are SO similar. Sort of like Mad Eye Moody, looks like the real Mad Eye Moody, but is an imposter. So the compassionate, feminine stance, and the goal of the color pink is a topic I'm very curious about but don't know if I'm ready to go into. I have a desire for understanding though. What if it's not the masculine I want to embody, but to accept what I already am as enough? Yup, that resonates. And then, there wouldn't be the need to change anyone else either, if I was already enough.

You are never alone. There are powers and presences who serve you all the time most faithfully. You may or may not perceive them, nevertheless they are real and active. When you realize that all is in your mind, and that you are beyond the mind, that you are truly alone, then all is you. -Nisargadatta Maharaj

Don't mistake your muse with an instrument.

I've suffered with this a lot. I think women especially are trained to always be aware of the feelings and the needs of others, put them ahead of your own and to never to step on any toes. Our mind has co-opted this as the "right" way of being. Put how you feel first. The magic is that it actually enhances your ability to effectively care for (or about) others. I found Abraham Hicks' teachings to be really enlightening and empowering in this area.

Would you expect to cut down a large tree with one swing of an ax? If God is a thing in duality, you could experience God, but experience requires a separate experiencer.

Most of your attention when your eyes are open is projected out, so even with eyes open, it's a thought that "I'm in here.". Touch a surface nearby with your hand and close your eyes. Is there two sensations, my hand and the surface? Or is direct experience of touching indistinguishable hand from object unless you think about it?

Think of it this way, a good doctor can't be squeamish, prone to passing out or be too wrapped up in their patient's pain. They do care about it though, and they are aware of it. They have to be utterly focused on what they do want, the wellness of the patient, and so they take the steps necessary and focus on being fully present with that action. You can see illness and focus on the abundance of wellness that is there instead, people who are sick are actually mostly well. Earth is perfectly situated near the sun for life, and your body is doing all kinds of things to keep you well without you giving them any thought or attention. The inspiration to clean up the planet isn't going to come from staring too long at the horrible mess humans have made, and coming away with the conclusion that we're all doomed so nothing we do matters now, but from appreciating the stunning resilience and beauty of nature and being inspired to be and feel a wholistic part of it. Likewise looking at someone else's suffering can be the same way, you feel and are a part of the wellbeing, namaste, the light within you recognizes the light within them. Not the illness, the light.

@Preety_India Just wanted to say from personal experience, that I've found it important to balance out time spent here with time spent following, conversing with and really appreciating powerful creative women or in environments different from this one. There are some hurt perspectives often shared here, and since it's so male dominated, one could easily absorb those perspectives as a female who is sensitive to insecurities. Sometimes when I've fallen into that role, it's gotten the best of me. I have to remember that I can only enjoy the forum and be of any help to anyone here if I'm at my best. Also funny that we both felt inspired? to change our profile pics to pictures of men. lol