mandyjw

I do look good in black, but you might have me confused with Anna. I offered to mod but guess I'm a few crayons short of a box. Shouldn't have used that particular shade of green to color on the walls with I guess.

The main thing is what you've already done, made an intention to feel better about money. Look around or write a list of things you're inspired by or want without buying them. Generally tap into the feeling of inspiration more and more. If you feel really, really good about the idea of buying something, do it. You can also start to view it as supporting other businesses, find local food places or whatever places make you feel good and focus on the feeling of doing something good or supporting them. Donating to charity can help too. I struggled with this a long time, here's a funny example. Last fall I wanted an antique owl clock, the kind with the moving eyes. (I love old, creepy things, I dunno). So I bought one and it inspired a new design for my business that I made and am still making far more of off than I spent on the clock. When you allow inspiration, you get more of it. Nothing you give away is ever gone or lost.

Yes, definitely. Sometimes I even judge myself for doing it and feel like I shouldn't journal, (generally just when I'm caring about what others think of it and finding it ridiculous, cause it usually is) but it's revitalizing, clarifying, inspiring, an emotional release, and fun, it often just feels like laughing with friends in a way. I love surprises! (usually) Better to be authentically ignorant and enjoy the unveiling when it's ready than be like a kid who snoops around and tries to act happy on Christmas.

There's a deep truth here, but it can't be thought. If this insight is owned and held by the mind, no matter WHOSE mind you think "has" it, it's filtered through that particular identification. "God" in thought is an archetype, maybe you could even say it's the super ego. The super ego typically is the self critical voice and tries to get you to act moral and good, so you awaken and see that there aren't two of you, there is no actual super ego, and no threat behind it. But if you replace that voice with another voice that says "others aren't real", "I'm the only one here", you have not made any progress but just changed the beliefs of the super ego, you've changed morality and shoulds to the morality of having NO morality. It's the house swept clean that the demon invites seven more along with it to come occupy. It's a poor substitute for Source. There's no one who secures themselves after an awakening as the knower of anything. There's no one willing to trade actual love for the thought of love.

I WANT someone to play with, to channel with. Play stops the moment you care what other people think. That's when you stop really playing as a kid. THAT'S what I want. Never grew out of this. My cousin Danny did though, it was the most shocking transition from being SO much fun to too shy to even speak to me. Turned into a hermit or something. Now everyone just looks at me like... Oh God, his name IS Danny. Stephen King, me and you, same wavelength, dude. Except I don't like horror that much. Also, never read any of your books either though, sorry. Really though once you've transcended the physical, the play is OUT OF THIS WORLD. This missing what's already here is the source of my passion, my angst. Journaling just puts me in that author place of loving all this drama I'm creating, seeing that really, I'm not creating it at all. Did you just share a video of a collaboration of someone who doesn't collaborate and does everything herself, who collaborated with some guy and now he is dead? It's already a collaboration. The geese, all of it, already collaboration. Stop focusing on how it has to come. Collaborating with the dead, Dr.P, the Shining girls, Abraham Hicks, the channeling, spiritualism. Collaborating with nature. Sounds fantastical. Maybe it's just the training wheels for collaborating and living with "real" people. Sounds fantastical.

Why aren't you better at not reacting? Why are you fueling what you don't want? Why are you adding to the chain of pain? You're doing it right now, regretting this concept of yourself as if it's what you really are. I feel like I have no one to express anything to anymore. I feel completely cut off and I feel like this ship is going down. Ahem. You're not on this ship. I love this ship! It's so beautiful. Not even God himself could sink this ship. Himself? Ok, yeah God himself is sinking the ship. That's pretty funny. Ok, so I keep thinking, "you fucktard! You should be working! Not WASTING TIME KICKING AROUND ICE ON THE DECK after we hit that iceburg! You aren't stuck on this ship. You aren't going down with it! You could clean out your car or make money, or do something "important", and these old smacking myself up the head for wasting my time interacting with the world feeling bad. I want to choose something else not out of shaming myself or trying to be something more important or respectful but because I truly WANT something better. I don't want to cut off my nose to spite my face. People bring in so much contrast. Wow, the Titanic is a damn good analogy. We don't care about the people, we don't care about safety, we just want to be this spectacular fast example of the being the biggest, the best, the fastest, in the eyes of people. But the people ON the ship, nope we don't care about them. And, oh it got what what it sought out to be. It was truly, all it claimed to be. The Titanic is truly LEGENDARY. I am really thankful for these lessons. Why am I STILL watching this from a distance, seeing how WRONG it is? You're not always doing that. You and the geese are doing your work by not working. No one else has to get this. You don't have to be anything for anybody. This DOG is driving me insane! He keeps stealing things and driving me crazy! The dog and the Titanic and Captain fucking Ahab aren't the problem, your focus is. I think the italicized voice is supposed to sound more refined than this one! Let's just call it integration. I'm not so sure that's it. Who is the wise one here? Captain Ahab is that you? This is really going downhill, you know. Oh!!! Oh!!! The question isn't toned to imply that you're the only wise one, and I'm not, it's asking who is the wise one, like self inquiry. And the answer is, they can't be found. There aren't two of me, one that can find the other. So my surprise that people aren't really that wise and I can't find my God/Jesus/Captain Ahab figure and not be disappointed is my own belief that I have to be someone for somebody, and that there are two of me. So I need somebody to be something for me. Tricky. One neurosis creates the other. And that's us. Aren't we cute together? This could go on forever. It already has.

Actually, this place is your playground, it's pretty obvious.

No need for food, companionship or breathing either, but it still feels pretty damn good to carry on with.

Then it wasn't ever really compassion, but a label you stuck over compassion to avoid actually feeling it.

"Have" like, sitting on your bookshelf? The Nature of Consciousness is a masterpiece, world changing book.

Read his books, his videos don't really give the background you need. Sounds ironic, but seriously I'm not kidding. He also is very, very good at changing the teachings up to meet people where they are at and you see a lot of that in the videos.

No one has found stuff, they have seen, heard, smelled, touched and tasted. Then added the idea and names of things to make "sense" of senses.

Your awareness already is formless, infinite and omniscient. There is no "your" awareness, Awareness can never be owned. A concept or what can be conceived is the same. You are aware of thoughts, aware of sensations, but never them in exclusion of awareness. This is the big mistake most of us have made in believing a concept about how we were conceived. We give birth to ourselves every moment. We never die because that would just be a thought about ourselves, and we'd have to have a concept of ourselves and give birth to ourselves in order to think that thought at all.

I love the term spiritualist. This is what it really means though. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spiritualism#:~:text=Spiritualism is a religious movement,which spirits continue to evolve. The Victorian era was AWESOME. Also terrible, cause everyone died from everything all the time, but spiritually open-wise and aesthetically AWESOME.

If you pick something you're passionate about and believe in, that power and love for the subject it just channels on through you. The love and passion itself is what should be contagious, but lots of us just catch the ideas. Achoo!

I don't think I've ever even thought to do this unless a strong emotion arose on its own.

I generally ignore them and if I'm bothered I contemplate on my own why I might have attracted the comment. Occasionally if it feels amazing to say just the right thing, I would reply. But generally I know that if I do it out of hurt or reaction or trying to control someone's behavior it just perpetuates it until I do the inner work. I have so many amazing things going on in life, it's not worth my time to pay attention to the .01 that are crap unless I'm cleaning it up for good at the source.

I'm a girl who has a youtube channel about non-duality, I've dealt with trolls. It is always about something I'm insecure about, particularly, being a girl with a youtube channel about nonduality. Occasionally, I don't feel 100% worthy of speaking about what I'm speaking about, so sometimes people remind me of that, and then I have a fire lit under my butt to love myself and speak about what I love without concern. Which is what I want and the whole reason for doing it anyway. It's not at the cost OF self esteem, my self esteem is MY self esteem, not anyone elses.

No, it's empowering. We aren't saying it's your fault, we're saying it's within your power to focus on something else and create something you want. Anyone who puts themselves out there has trolls at some point. The trolls say more about themselves than they do you. If what they say strikes a cord there's a voice within you that echoes the sentiment. Then the troll did you a favor by pointing this out and the, the troll works for the side of self love and greater awareness. It's up to you what you do with anything. If I bought you a paint set, I don't want you to spend 45 minutes telling me what a horrible shade of brown there is in this particular set and how it shouldn't be there, I want you to choose the colors you DO want to use and paint a picture.

I dunno, either way you're screwed though.

Actually thinking back, the Christian heaven I was sold was one of the most terrifying aspects of Christianity. All kinds of "good Christians" and spacious white and gold rooms. A nice bowl of grapes. Some pearly gates. Nothing else. Ugh.

Many people need to actually voice what they know and clash/play with others a bit to learn. It's much easier to convince yourself that you fully know something because you've never tried to articulate it. When you do try, you learn that you mostly don't know what you thought you knew and that's the most important piece. Then, from there, everything is possible. If your main intent to know is out of love and curiosity, it's a fantastic opportunity for growth. If you're just wanting to bolster up what you think you know and aren't willing to see and feel into the weak spots and truly, openly interact with others, yeah, it's a waste of time, except eventually you'll get so frustrated you'll leave or see through it. I think that enforcing a high standard of quality for this forum actually hurts the quality, because it makes people even more insecure and more willing to try to prove what they already know rather than say something off and get challenges for it. Often people misunderstand that spiritual knowledge is something they they can really intellectually "get" just like they could pass a test in school, and they cover over doubts, hurt feelings and suffering, thinking if they can secure the knowledge, those will go away somehow. The aspects that make people uncomfortable in these conversations and drive so much unnecessary inauthentic, unsatisfying communication are actually the potential for growth and understanding. When people really want to know there is a POWERFUL potential for iron to sharpen iron. Sometimes solitude, meditation and nature is what people need and other times it makes them just grow dull.

Bettering oneself is a never ending game. There's always a better, or another category to better. The "end game" is complete dissolution of the mind, if you've watched a loved one die a natural death you know that their mind functions degraded and faded, but what they really are shone brighter and brighter and brighter. There's nothing permanent about our psychology. We're all gonna die someday. I love psychology, I love my dog, or I love the skills I have, but I know that I am going to lose these things, and what I really am is beyond these things and that what's real can never be lost. Knowing this does not diminish my enjoyment of the impermanent, it enhances it.

If you're interested in what's beyond the perspectival then what other approach is there than going beyond psychology?

Unless you're in the right emotional place, you will read the spiritualist view as gaslighting, or interpret it as that you are a personal failure. I think that's why it's appealing to paint others as narcissists or realize why we attract them, because we want to let go of the personal failure perspective. However, shame and blame are co-created and co-dependent. There aren't two people, there is the movement of thought of shame and blame, one creates the other. Seeing this gives the person seeking healing an empowerment that psychology doesn't often offer. So while it feels better to blame someone than to feel shame, in order to move beyond blame, we have to step out of the psychological theory. The real magic of healing lies beyond that. That's why putting your emotions and the desire to heal and feel better first, above the story and theory is the TRUE non-avoidance, while thought says "that's avoiding!" it's actually holding the story in place and hindering the incredible potential of healing that is there. There's nothing wrong with psychology, but it gets much, much better. There's a far more profound potential for healing available than what it has to offer. But if it's truly, truly helping and making you feel better for now, don't listen to anything anyone else says.