mandyjw

@Gesundheit2 All of those are just words for suffering except Wudd. Except the words "bonds" and "for the loved one". Still might be suffering.

@zazen define (v.) late 14c., deffinen, diffinen, "to specify; to fix or establish authoritatively;" of words, phrases, etc., "state the signification of, explain what is meant by, describe in detail," from Old French defenir, definir "to finish, conclude, come to an end; bring to an end; define, determine with precision," and directly from Medieval Latin diffinire, definire, from Latin definire "to limit, determine, explain," from de "completely" (see de-) + finire "to bound, limit," from finis "boundary, end" (see finish (v.)). From c. 1400 as "determine, declare, or mark the limit of." Related: Defined; defining. https://www.etymonline.com/search?q=define So if I were to define love I'd say that it is boundless and unlimited. But only by ignoring the definition of define can I do this, I've totally paradoxed myself.

Is love a thought? Can love be measured? Does love come from a specific direction?

?‍♂️ The hand wants that? Seems that you can manipulate others, sure, but if you're aware that this is a universe with no exclusion, you would only do that out of ignorance.

manipulate (v.) 1827, "to handle skillfully by hand," a back-formation from manipulation. As "to manage by mental influence," especially for one's own purposes, is by 1864. Financial sense is from 1870. By 1949 it served as a euphemism for "masturbate." https://www.etymonline.com/search?q=manipulate You only manipulate yourself. Seems the opposite of what's wanted here.

This is all just circular thinking. It's like you get stuck on the inside lane of a rotary and can't find space to change lanes or exit. The important thing is to not believe the content of the thoughts, just notice, "thought". It's like getting mad at the people in the cars, instead of looking for a gap between them so you can exit the rotary. Did you tell your gym mate you're distracted and going through something?

It's metaphorical for awakening. It's the reason why vampire stories are so popular with women. Fear/desire wrapped into one. Fear is illusory, and the pull of attraction is so strong that you see through it. You realize you're the Author of it. Still a better love story than Twilight.

I approached two guys I really, really liked and had known for a long time. I told one I cared and asked if he did. He rejected me in style. Told the other I loved him. That one I'm still with 16 years later. Vulnerability and honestly putting on the table how you feel and what you want, yes. Manipulative, no.

@Gesundheit2 You couldn't have saved it. You are not a manipulator.

@StarStruck Well, you can't make a huge jump in emotions usually. You don't go from unworthiness or disappointment straight to joy. Don't expect so much of yourself. The expectation is thought holding on to that emotional state. You've seen the AH emotional scale? Don't ruminate, feel into it. Let it go. Look for the bird outside your window.

First, women aren't more emotional then men. If men think they have a hang up with emotions, then they do. If they don't they don't. There is no hang up for men, just a widely told narrative that this is true. You will have more arguments and blow ups with close relationships because there's actual momentum there. How did you deal with the falling out? Have you contacted them since? Also try journaling. Or flow of consciousness writing at first. It does not have to be expressed to a person, or even in language although that is sometimes the most satisfying route.

Look at your screen name. "Starstruck" Consider this in context with what you're going through. You created this, exactly like this. You fucking wrote this. You wrote. This. There is no time here. There is no story here. Just writing. Not even that. Imagine that you're God. You are Love. We're also imagining that you're some dumb actual personified God, so you're imagining some form like Kermit the frog with almighty smiting powers or some shit. Anyway, you are Love. You create people and you want them to love one another. Do you... A. Pack them together like sardines. They'll have no fucking choice to know their togetherness, but they won't do anything else. They won't even be humans. B. Give them space. Let them bounce around like atoms and electrons. Now of course, the big bang theory would say that was the creation of space. So there's space between humans. We bang around, knock into each other, go off, leave each other forever, make more of each other, whatever. But, inherently, we don't. We're the space. We're more together than ever apart. There isn't even a question of it. There was never a big bang. There will never be a big bang.

No. That's a sore subject. Find a different subject. Sometimes things we want represent just a handful of aspects of things we want way more but just don't see yet. When we idolize them in form and put them on a pedestal, we rob ourselves of the inherent joy in life. If I'm mad that a sale didn't go through or something, I miss the smile of my kid's face, that funny thing my dog did, the sunset, that rare bird that sat in the tree in front of my house. Actually, I don't miss any of that, it never happened for me, all there is is my focus on what's missing. I can't go make new sales, or have an epiphany about something else I wanted to know about because this ONE FUCKING SALE DIDN'T go through. I cripple myself. If I just *phew* let it go, cry it out, journal about it, run 3 miles in the woods and tear up the trail, and then I'm in a place that I start laughing about the first funny thing I see, then I'm back in the game. No one is good looking. Everyone is looking. You're either looking (searching) or looking (seeing). Since you cannot see your own face, only a glimpse, a reflection, a still image, and reality is never still, just be the looking (seeing). Two birds with one stone. Polish girl is in reality not just that devastatingly hot, but she is WAY more fantastical and magical than you ever fucking dreamed, and so are you and so is Rowan Atkinson. You did that. You conger/conquer the images. You think you know what they are. You don't. A rare bird flies past the window. Once the beauty has left you in its dust you say, "damn I missed that!". You didn't. You are it. You miss yourself. You're so fucking beautiful you're the real time creator of beauty. It's everywhere, you are everywhere. Looking (seeing). Not looking (searching)

They've let go of shit you haven't had to, probably because you're materialistically blessed in some way. You unlucky LUCKY son of a bitch. But you're getting dates with pretty women? So many people are so jealous of you right now they want to punch you. You're literally telling me how great your life is, and how bad it sucks at the same time. Of course that feels shitty. I said you were the writer. By act on it, I don't mean act. I mean, write. Act I. ask. Act II. Forget about it. Let it go. Feel amazing anyway. Act III. It is given. Act IV. Ask again in a way you never have before.

It's just what we're made of. https://www.etymonline.com/word/humor All good humor is self deprecating illuminating. It's an unexpected illogical revelation that feels absurdly amazing.

What's wrong with it? It's not true! I know a politician with severe disabilities. He literally can't make eye contact with anyone, or walk without support. But he is so loved, so intelligent, and so powerful. I saw him in person recently and couldn't take my eyes off him. Strength is weakness. It's like the colors. Red is green. They are opposites. You know what happens when you see red and green together? You're eye pops, it vibrates so fast, you notice it. Because together, they are one. You make them one. You make them in your perception of them. What does "get mine" even mean? It's already yours. You're the one saying it isn't. And so, you powerful Genie in a bottle you, you grant your own wishes, because you have to. The wish granter is at the wisher's mercy. he is literally the most powerful and yet, has no power whatsoever. he's Aladdin's bitch. And here you are, not realizing you're Aladdin, or Genie, or the Author of this story, and you make SHITTY wishes, and the Genie say's "done". There's no spirituality. There's no material realm. This is it. This. Is. IT. When I lose my appetite, it means I'm digesting some serious shit in the infinite/ spirituality realm. You already are. See the recurring theme here? Sink into it. Eat it up. It's better than sex. It is sex. Loss of basic needs is a fast, if you see it that way. I don't see up from down. I turn Maslow's needs pyramid upside down and right it again as it suits me. It's sexy as fuck in my opinion. You're good. Enough doubting. Just ask Genie for what you want and chill. You know why you can't wish to make anyone fall in love with you? Cause they already are. Just know it. Know it.

That's a fantastic realization that this happens when you're not feeling good. You pretty much already conquered that monster with that realization. It's done. Congrats! Now, rather than focusing on avoiding the actions or the regret, shift focus to how you're feeling. Make a list, write down everything you want to do when you're feeling great and it occurs to you. @Nahm's dreamboard suggestion is ideal. Put a whiteboard on your wall in your living space and write everything you want on there. If you're too shy just start with pen and paper. Now that you know what you want, and you're paying attention to how you feel, regret and avoidance just aren't necessary or even possible anymore. Everything we wrote on that list was a beautiful variety upon feeling better. Everything we want is because we think it will make us feel better. When we put attention directly on feeling, we recognize the stuff or circumstances doesn't cause that, we, WE do it, we are that. We feel so fucking good, we are feeling itself. We are literally both Aladdin and the Genie, because we are the Author of them both. So write. Write what you want. Notice the difference between the thought "I feel good" and the actual right now, experience of feeling good. The thought can never compare. Now you know what you want. My GOD, aren't you lucky! Oh the places you'll go! Wish I were you. Oh wait...

Ok, more Joe Dispenza, less talking about dumb ass vocabulary and terms like "fuck boys" and identifying with them. You want to think of yourself as an egoistic because you care what people think? Still caring. The egoistic is the one who has got it the worst. Care what people think, is a thought you are thinking. The empath IS the narcissist. Just like red is red because it absorbs all the other colors and rejects red, what you refuse to be is what you become. You cannot see yourself. You cannot think yourself. I mean, we could also go all in. If you really, really cared what people thought you'd be completely, totally dysfunctional. Watch your language. You're like a four year old throwing around the F bomb, totally innocent. However like that 4 year old is soon to realize, words are both meaningless and also, they have power. Let's look at the word care. care (v.) Old English carian, cearian "be anxious or solicitous; grieve; feel concern or interest," from Proto-Germanic *karo- "lament," hence "grief, care" (source also of Old Saxon karon "to lament, to care, to sorrow, complain," Old High German charon "complain, lament," Gothic karon "be anxious"), said to be from PIE root *gar- "cry out, call, scream" (source also of Irish gairm "shout, cry, call;" see garrulous). https://www.etymonline.com/search?q=care So you don't want to care, that's suffering, you want to LOVE. You don't want to use people as an excuse to suffer and call yourself an empath or whatever else, you want the right, here, right now LOVE. You want to appreciate people, appreciate yourself. Appreciate nothing in particular. That's not caring. Total, complete, intoxicating, devastating, all consuming, LOVE for nothing and everything. Out. To. Get. Mine. Out? Mine? Never gonna happen. It's here, right now. Boundless, endless, infinite, quantum. No time, no location. This is you. Settling or thinking yourself any less just won't do.

Put meditation and or conscious breathing breaks into your routine. The body will resort to less pleasant tactics when you don't give it what it needs.

So far science has proven that time is relative, but we have no proof so far.

You don't get to feel equal, higher than or less then, what you want is to not care how you rate, which is the best feeling of all. Impressions of people are personal, arbitrary, and you're only interested in knowing how you "are" or rate to feel better about yourself. This is based on an assumption that one must improve. You can go directly there. The knowledge that you or anyone else doesn't have to try to reflect back on oneself in a positive light to be ok is incredibly freeing. Someone who acts and relates out of that freedom is irresistible. They either invite you to do the same or they will crush you. You might even make them into a God. Why? It's you deepest core desire, you're very essence. You knew this when you were 4, but life seemed to get complicated. Each of those complications is just one thought arising at a time. And you are what is aware of it. Any thoughts that lie, that do not serve, that demote yourself or others, can all be disregarded. As long as you are slave to your thoughts, you'll be a slave to other's opinions of you. Thought is not feeling. Higher or lower than is always thought. Feeling responds to thoughts. Even in advance of the thought. Gotta catch them all.

Same time? What's this same time shit? You can't do both at the same time. Either your dream feels amazing and you're on it, or you're doubting. Notice that doubt feels bad, that your feeling is telling you when you're working against yourself, start to recognize and drop the doubt. Then you can get right back to riding the inspiration that effortlessly cannot fail. If this dream is doomed to fail, one better will crop up. You cannot fail. What if your dream is just a charade you made up to see through doubt? But you can't see through doubt, because if there's no dream, there's nothing to doubt! There's already have no doubt, and so the dream is the very focus or path that will take you there, the dream is itself the sought destination right now, but only when it feels like inspiration and fun. It is neither path nor destination, it is now. You can't fail.

Passion Pass I on DAMN! DAMN! Well played universe, well played.

There's still this illusion, that people are magical and unreachable. You took God, and like fairy dust sprinkled it all throughout, you powerful Creator you, that's you. They're you. You're doing it. You magical little fuck, you. And you're perfectly unreachable. Can you see your face and live? Can you find the thinker of thoughts? Or can you just think it? I'M unreachable. So unreachable, you can even reach to wipe your own ass. You see unconditional is not a condition. It stays unconditional while seemingly making conditions. A yes, just went through me. It was so insignificant, and so fucking powerful. Mister God this is Anna. Best book ever written. "Where is God" Yes.