mandyjw

I do not have anything to say. Ok, I have lots of things to say but none of them seem important or true enough to say. I feel very normal and like a functional human being again and yet I also feel like I don't have define myself as those things or anything else anymore.

@Natasha I think it's the right kind of psychedelic. People tend to categorize all religious belief in the "bad" category just some believe that all drug use is bad.

I believe so, faith itself is everything and continues to be everything the more you move into nonduality. The ego believes in its separate finite self, the religious person believes in a separate self and God that loves them and cares for their soul even after death. The next step is to inquire into the nature of oneself and merge with God.

A love for life!

Part of acceptance is accepting people who aren't ready to accept. It's challenging especially if you live in a community where most people are religious or if your whole family is. What were their emotional states upon leaving? I'm curious.

@ivankiss Thanks for the beautiful painting. @lostmedstudent Have you ever done any mild "fear setting" exercises? They can be something like pushing yourself to talk to someone you don't know, going for a walk outside in the dark if it's safe, anything that pushes your comfort zone. They almost always turn out to be exhilarating and fun. I would suggest reframing how you look at fear and also trying to push the boundaries, gently, when you are ready. Also do you follow any other nonduality teachers other than Leo? Abraham Hicks, Eckhart Tolle, Rupert Spira, and Pema Chodron are my favorites when I get spooked.

Welcome back! Tough times can often be the times that we grow the most, they can be seen as a blessing or opportunity for growth. It's ok if you don't always see the down times for what they are when they are happening, but it helps to remind ourselves when we can. I live where the winters are really harsh and I have seasonal depression. So far my biggest spiritual breakthroughs so far have both occurred at the end of the winter strangely enough. Try to welcome suffering with open arms, little by little, as you are able. When we are able to see through it and surrender to it we see that it's empty and hollow. In the meantime there are plenty of wonderful things to focus on instead.

Ready Freddie?

I wonder how many spiritual teachers get pulled into thinking that what they say is true when they are saying it? The truth is between the words, between the teachings, in both the teaching and its contradiction. The best teachings would be two enlightened people seemingly disagreeing on something yet knowing fully that each is also the other and that the conversation was actually a reconciliation, an illustration of a paradox. Is desire the root of suffering, is it evil? Or is desire the vortex flowing through us as creation springing creation? These questions can never be answered. You must desire more than anything to walk the Path. There is no path and one must not give a shit about it to reach enlightenment. There is no such thing as enlightenment, enlightenment is a very real state or states with levels. There are false teachers, there are no false teachers. Right now I'm enjoying Lao Tzu and Abraham Hicks. I still enjoy Leo and Eckhart Tolle, but recently I've been listening to Rupert Spira in place of Tolle. . https://astudygroup.files.wordpress.com/2017/07/lao-tzu_-tao-te-ching_-a-book-a-ursula-k-le-guin.pdf?fbclid=IwAR2rA5uFYZ4ryW5AgKmgTI5iOwIzkCo8YWSfEosPiGi-byw_EsFPk__zF2Q I've been reading a lot of Faceless' posts. I really resonate with his point of view yet as language it's still one facet of truth. You can only point in one direction to a directionless "centerless" center. I appreciate how important having his point of view here on this forum was.

I know that they use visualization in the law of attraction but I don't think they necessarily have to go together, you can use one without the other. Esther , Abraham Hicks recordings and books are absolutely fantastic. She teaches "understanding" that is a piece of the puzzle that many will need to awaken. Personally when I visualize it's always spontaneous, I don't make it into a practice but I don't think there is anything wrong with it.

It's tricky isn't it, having the courage to follow your own unique path and inner guidance and at the same time watch others follow theirs without expecting all paths to look similar?

I feel your frustration. Is it a relief or more frustrating to know that ultimately there is no path? You can drink beer and laugh on the beach and still be on your path if you so choose, so there's no need for jealousy. I second the recommendations for Tolle and Spira! One teacher can only embody a small facet of the truth for us. Meditation with the purpose of getting somewhere is not true meditation. Sometimes dropping a practice and picking it up again can be wise. Sometimes dropping out vision of the path itself is very helpful.

ThomasT just posted this too, it's excellent!

The definition of enlightenment to me is the ability to love purely, or the clear knowledge of what love is as oneself. This is Truth, the purpose of the universe and being. That's what I want to embody in my life more than anything. It's easy to get a spiritual ego and see oneself as someone who acts lovingly toward other people. But love is knowing when to say no or being able to say something difficult to someone. It's as if the person with a spiritual ego decides that they must always act with a loving response, even when it's inappropriate. Other people are made so uncomfortable by love, that they never show it to others. I have always seen in myself and others the tendency to react to someone who sees their self as a loving person, but has unconsciously made it part of their ego. I feel like their love is inauthentic so it unconsciously provokes a cynical, mean or withdrawn response from me. I have also been the person showing fake love before and provoked the response from others. Unconscious patterns always seem to have a back and forth quality to them. We play devil's advocate, we react against things we see. We are happy with some circumstances, upset by others. I guess that love is the ability to hold space for someone, or even something, to be the space. Interacting with others while still holding that space gets really challenging because it's so easy to get pulled in one direction or another. How do you know when to say no to someone, or when a response comes from love? Rupert Spira said that when you say the right thing is resonates in a deep way, it feels like when you sing a note on key. Thoughts? How do we love more authentically?

Lead and cadmium occur naturally and they don't know exactly why or how chocolate gets contaminated with it. Certain veggies like brussel sprouts can have high lead levels too. https://www.health.com/food/there-may-be-lead-in-your-chocolate-heres-why-you-shouldnt-freak-out I think that every food is likely contaminated with something or other.

@Zigzag Idiot I thought it was magnesium? Maybe I'm wrong. The lead and cadmium levels in chocolate concern me, everything in moderation.

@tsuki Why do you think I'm a saint? You're just as much of one.

I'm not a hero, I'm a HOUSEWIFE.

@tsuki You had your fun, you deal with him yourself. Ok, I give up, you all win, love is bullshit.

I caught what the kid's got and had or have a fever, last night I had some pretty strange dreams/visions. There was this light by the hawthorn tree that I recently discovered by Pomroy's that I tried so hard to merge with completely. I was SO close. I went there again at night during the last full moon. It wasn't as scary as the first time. There this streetlight flickering coming off and on by the place. The hawthorn tree was in bloom for the full moon, white blossoms in the moonlight.

@Aakash You're testing my love right now enough and I don't even have to leave my house, thank you for that.

@Aakash He made me totally batshit crazy/awakened too, but you'll look back on this and wish you held back a little more. There will be backlash. I know it's hard to do when you feel like you're weightless but try to ground yourself as much as you can.