mandyjw

@SriBhagwanYogi Esther Hicks has several books, I have this one. I really love her recordings though, you can find them on youtube or elsewhere, just search for Abraham Hicks. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00EA8UFNU/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_d_asin_title_o07?ie=UTF8&psc=1

An insight spoken or written out seems like a belief until it hits you at the right time. It's like you want to know the answer to a question, even though maybe you haven't actually raised the question or been conscious of the desire to understand. Then you see it and something is fulfilled. You know you've found the right teacher or learning environment when you keep getting those moments by listening to them, then a time comes when those insights stop appearing to come outside of yourself. Collective consciousnesses is just Humpty Dumpty learning to put himself back together again.

Yes! Different things like that accidentally give us tastes of higher consciousness. Shamanic or Wim Hof breathing, long runs or endurance exercise can cause very similar states. Meditation and self inquiry will help to raise your consciousness through the day and reprogram your thoughts everyday. Sometimes you need more dramatic tastes of what life could be like before you are motivated to do the more subtle practices. When I was mostly only following Eckhart Tolle I didn't realize I was doing both of these informally throughout the day by following his teachings, he has a brilliant way of doing that.

The last time I went to Pomroy's I got a deer tick on me, attached, which means I have to check for a rash and make sure I don't have symptoms of Lyme disease. I knew that would happen someday but I've always avoided exploring around places until this year for that reason. When I was a kid we didn't have ticks and could go wherever we wanted, we only have them now thanks to global warming. I took it as a sign that I shouldn't go back, I should stop caring so much about going to the places that seem to trigger signs and experiences, as all of those things are distractions unless you learn not to want them or chase them. I was going to go for a long run today but was so exhausted I turned around to go the opposite direction and knew I had to go back to Pomroy's. I bought some tick repelling spray, but the mosquitoes were so bad I couldn't focus much. I did find these black walnut shells though. The heart shape with the two "eyes" make them look like the creepiest Valentine I've ever seen. I also went to the cemetery which has not been mowed or well cared for after memorial day. I recently learned about a once prominent family who lived here, and on their monument stone was this. "There is no Death! What seems so is transition; This life of mortal breath Is but a suburb of the life elysian, Whose portal we call Death." Across from it was a stone for a mother who died in childbirth, then for her daughter, named after her, 10 months later. I used to feel silly for doing things like this but I sat there and cried. Fear of death, grief, all of these things meld into one collective shadow. I used to think there was something wrong with me because I was so in tune with it. Of course, it's impersonal. Christians say that Jesus took on the sins of the world that day. This had a deeper meaning than can be thought.

I recommend Abraham Hicks. If you really study her stuff you will get the nuances of LOA, it's another path to enlightenment and it's a powerful one. A lot of us need LOA to fill in a few of the missing pieces, and sometimes as a tool to keep going.

@Nahm Do you still have the tendency to get a song stuck in your head?

@Aakash I wasn't that explicit in telling them about the awakening, I kept pushing reality with them though and told them more until my dad expressed concern, which he never does. Mom thinks I'm a crazy pain in the ass anyway but I think she was concerned. My dad is pretty far along the path having studied gnostic Christianity and currently professing to be an atheist because he's so pissed off with the religion he was born into not knowing that it's himself. There were some pretty crazy moments that I could have handled much better and with much more sensitivity such as grinning ear to ear after my grandmother's burial and going up to the Baptist preacher, (also my uncle) telling him he was wrong and quoting gnostic scripture to him.

Dear God, yes. @Aakash I don't even live with my parents and it took me a couple months to figure out how to not freak them out. You have this amazing energy right now, fresh out of realization. You're a little bit ( a lot) drunk. Be careful, cautious, conservative and try to meditate. (I get it, I couldn't either but I wish I had or could have.)

Here are two ancient ones that are free to read online. https://astudygroup.files.wordpress.com/2017/07/lao-tzu_-tao-te-ching_-a-book-a-ursula-k-le-guin.pdf?fbclid=IwAR2rA5uFYZ4ryW5AgKmgTI5iOwIzkCo8YWSfEosPiGi-byw_EsFPk__zF2Q http://gnosis.org/naghamm/gthlamb.html

I've never tried it, I don't know why, thanks for reminding me that I need too! I drink green tea everyday.

We say and think that we are one, but we are actually one. It never ceases to amaze me. Thank God for unconsciousness, the illusion of discovery really is quite fun.

We had the coldest rainiest spring/beginning of summer. I feel somewhat impersonally responsible for this. Not being able to find much solace in future or thought anymore, I've been overeating, really struggling with trying to "control" it and gained all the weight I lost during my awakening in April back. Suddenly hot weather is here, and I'm really glad I live where no one really cares if you're a bit fat. Sometimes I wonder if I unconsciously feel like it's expected. When you're 5'3 with a small frame a few pounds make a big difference. There's a cycle of abusing my body to make it look how I think it should and then giving up and going unconscious with eating, that I've been in all my adult life. I guess that's the back and forth nature of thinking, having its way with anything and everything. I'm trying to go more plant based (damn you Teal Swan!!!) and not going too carb heavy is a challenging balancing act. I'm trying to get more in tune with the food I eat and my body. Working on loving/accepting being present in my body, is both a long process, but also an immediate solution. I've always thought my body was just a tool that I could abuse to do what I want. The stomach issues which seem to be BOTH food sensitivity and back/posture related but they are also a spiritual, energetic, emotional issue. I get addicted to running, and as powerful as a spiritual practice that it has been for me I also sometimes use it as a form of spiritual bypassing (thanks Teal Swan), and don't exercise in a balanced way and lose core strength and then get back and hip issues that cause the stomach pain. Still, that field of songbirds and buttercups on the river calls to me and if the body has to suffer a little for magic so be it. I tend to sit with awful posture when I work and relax at my computer and that's just pure unconsciousness. I got to go swimming both yesterday and the day before, love LOVE, LOVE it. I'm adding in kettle bell swings back in the morning to make sure I get at least some strength training in. It's funny how meditation makes you work on your posture, and makes very clear my abuses with running too much and not stretching enough. Alternatively I could just scrunch up and mindlessly lose myself in the internet without first checking in with the body and then source. The body is like a gatekeeper. I'm going to try to do two cycles of Wim Hof breathing everyday. I have lot of resistance to it, the forceful deep breathing feels almost violent but I love holding my breath and the effects from it.

Wild blueberries have just about the highest antioxidant values that can be found in fruit, but make sure you get organic, the conventionally raised ones use some of the worst pesticides. They have lower sugar content than cultivated blueberries and are much smaller, freeze great and are perfect for adding to smoothies or on cereal. I eat them straight frozen year round, let them thaw five or ten minutes and eat them straight frozen in place of ice cream. I used to help harvest them when I was a teenager for extra money. The prices farmers get have stayed the same for about 30 years and they are starting to stop caring for and harvesting fields and now we are even seeing the land go up for sale for just the value of the land. It's a shame to see farmers struggle to raise such an amazingly healthy food, but they need the push to go organic. If you can find frozen wild blueberries where you are please help supporting the farmers. https://www.medicalmedium.com/blog/wild-blueberries

Now you've got it!!!

I'm experiencing a lot of really old painful thinking patterns, in addition to it, I've added extra thought stories and feelings of shame of things done and said during my awakening. I'd really like to gloss over it, but I think it's better to admit it. I made some progress in one area earlier today and cried and felt a lot better, but it's still there again with a new thought story about self and other. I have glimpses of the master grand plan and I need to own and become suffering rather than think I shouldn't have it.

They definitely appear feminine to the gender identified mind. When Nahm mentioned his wife, I was sure he was lesbian rather than my mind going to "oh, Nahm is actually male".

There is a stage when you intellectually understand that every thought is a lie and your patterns your entire life were based on a false story of there being a you trying to obtain this thing called happiness. After many thwarted attempts you understand that this whole idea is a fiction. Once you experience seeing through the whole thing, there's no going back. Yet the thoughts still remain and the thought patterns still exist. The hope of finding fulfillment in experiences, thought or future isn't as sticky and no longer has the power to distract for long. This results in feeling less than alive, like Khal Drogo when Daenerys brings him back to life and realizes her horrible mistake. Yet this too is only a thought. Ramaji and others do us a kindness by mapping out and explaining the whole thing in detail, yet the masters who don't say a word to anyone also do us a kindness.

This is my computer screen right now. I have a prism in the window near my computer that throws rainbows all over the place at the right time of day.

Unfortunately diet questions are almost never straightforward. It's really common to have a sensitivity to wheat, if not a full blown intolerance. A sensitivity can be as mild as being slightly bloated all the time but never realizing it because wheat is such a common everyday food. It depends on genetics, age and your past diet whether you're sensitive to it. If you can tolerate wheat, you can eat whole wheat in moderation, but balance it out with legumes, rice, and don't neglect other grains. I believe that people have so many problems because we made a very refined version of wheat a food staple, present in almost every meal for years.

@Anton_Pierre You're ok, it's ok, we're all ok.

Yes, BUT, it's not your fault. There's no you to be at fault. Careful, it's an empowering truth if you can become it, but it can a crazy neurotic belief if you let the mind make it into a belief.

Try eating carbs before bedtime, when this happened to me my appetite disappeared and not eating much made the sleep problems worse. Get lots of physical activity and fresh air, a long walk outside everyday, etc, express yourself creatively.

I just think that Osho himself fit your description of devil.

@SunnyNewDay It's ok to call people devils but not bad persons.

Devils are a dime a dozen.