mandyjw

@DrewNows Great synchronicity, Alanis Morissette is the singer I've probably hated the most for the longest amount of time. I appreciate her now though, thank you. That reminds me of the other song I've HATED all my life. Oh life. Not only the things you passionately love but passionately hate are the most powerful pointers. Lyrics How can you see into my eyes like open doors? Leading you down, into my core Where I've become so numb, without a soul My spirit's sleeping somewhere cold Until you find it there, and lead it, back, home Wake me up inside Wake me up inside Call my name and save me from the dark Bid my blood to run Before I come undone Save me from the nothing I've become Now that I know what I'm without You can't just leave me Breathe into me and make me real Bring me to life Wake me up inside Wake me up inside Call my name and save me from the dark Bid my blood to run Before I come undone Save me from the nothing I've become Bring me to life Bring me to life Frozen inside, without your touch Without your love, darling Only you are my life Among the dead I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems Got to open my eyes to everything Don't let me die here Bring, me, to, life Wake me up inside Wake me up inside Call my name and save me from the dark Bid my blood to run Before I come undone Save me from the nothing I've become Bring me to life Bring me to life Bring me to life

Ramaji's 1000 has a few different possible effects on me. It exhausts me, pisses me off or I feel such synchronicity with it. Maybe those are just all the possible reactions I can have to life in general. I'm taking my time with it. I had the realization that I feel like since I'm not properly integrated, which is a concept, that I can't be any good to anyone, because I still keep forgetting that I am not an i. I just had a spectacular conversation with my parents. I had in a text conversation with Dad a week ago in which I tried to get him to stop thinking that identifying as an atheist would help him heal his deep disappointment and disillusionment with his Christian past. I thought I got too bold when I said "I can't wait until you go through your Christian revival stage." It started with him talking about how he talks to spiders. He always has made friends with the spiders in their bathroom and he was telling one how to build its web so that he wouldn't have to disturb it when he grabs his toothbrush. Mom overheard him talking to the spider about how it should build its web and the next day, it did just as he suggested. I told him that yes, it's real, it's meaningful and that's what faith means. Right now he has a miserable job, hauling pavement in a dumptruck with no air conditioning so he has LOTS of time to think. He said that it annoyed him that I said that about the revival stage, that he couldn't stop thinking about it and kept thinking of verses and how they still had meaning and I fully explained in stages how my awakening happened and the kill Buddha when you meet him meaning. I confessed about the grins on my face at the funerals I had to attend at the time and how the verses took on a new meaning and everything resolved in a full circle way. I can tell that they both deeply desire to have a resolution to Christianity, as I did but didn't understand. After Mom said, "If I had known this conversation would have happened I would have recorded it because it would have gotten thousands of views on youtube." I told her that you might think that sometimes but in reality, no one really cares.

@The Don Having young kids made me realize fully how deeply flawed and disconnected society is. Kids are meant to be raised in a tribe, a village or at least a caring community or extended family. The focus on materialism and the individual can make being a parent a devastatingly isolating experience. Stage orange society has made child rearing a living nightmare.

You feel disconnected. It's your fault you're disconnected, because there's no you. What the fuck? Where is the love in that? There's something, He says. And if you don't believe me here's a tree loaded with fruit and you never made a choice to eat from it, and halfway through picking off the fruits and eating them you realize what you've done. Nothing is inherent in something. In other words, nothing is none of your fucking business. The more you try to grasp something the more you come to know nothing. I hate this rural cut off from all opportunity area, what kind of idiotic ambitionless person wants to live here? I hate cities worse. I hate people and I detest their ambitions. It's a love/hate relationship, and I'd rather not deal with it at all. My lonely life is a consolation prize. At least the percentage of nature to utter bullshit is much more favorable in the middle of nowhere. We have designed towns, cities and communities based on a sense of separateness and a worship of materialism. We've turned paradise into a concrete jungle of hell. Where is the grace? Whatever happened to consent God, I didn't fucking ask to be born, to be born here, to be born me, and you say I did. You say I'm you and if I accept that I have no one left to blame. What impossible, maddening situation is this? You created someone to answer to, you created duality out of nonduality, now answer me God, where is the grace, where is the love? There IS something. There IS an I. Settle up you lying piece of shit.

Let's think about it in a different way, how and to where could you donate your money so that the exponential impact could potentially far exceed the compounding interest that investing it could make? Education? Raising consciousness? If you can't find an answer after lots of research maybe the answer is to wait.

I just finished listening to Leo's video on his blog from yesterday. I had an insight yesterday while running that "I want to see how Source sees." I realized when watching Leo's video that this is exactly what he means in different words, aligning with the will of God. During meditation recently, I realized that when I completely lose presence and think "I" thoughts I unconsciously rub my eyes. This morning I realized the symbolic connection between rubbing my eyes and wanting to see how Source "sees". Leo mentioned toward the end of the video the vision and inspiration that mystic or Gnostic Christianity has compared to that of Buddhism. If you've read many of my posts you probably know that I was raised Christian and very devout as a child and recently had a revival after an awakening. I'm very sorry if I got on your nerves during that time. I've made a lot of progress integrating the awakening and I had the insight after finding an empty humpty dumpty chip bag (litter gives me lots of great insights) that all religions, and all creation itself is the truth scattered. Humpty Dumpty falling off the wall is a metaphor for the creation of the universe. Just like I found so many missing puzzle pieces when I discovered Buddhism as an adult after only knowing Christianity, studying any religion or tradition with an open mind can be incredibly fruitful. When you are in the stage of finding insights from that newly discovered or rediscovered religion it seems that that religion is superior, but the puzzle piece that you were looking for is only superior to all the rest in the moment that you are looking for it and find it, when the puzzle is whole again, or even from a greater perspective outside of the one's who is doing the puzzle before it is complete, no puzzle piece is greater than any other. Loved the video, and am experiencing so much synchronicity watching your videos recently, thanks Leo! Anyone else have any thoughts or insights from it that they wanted to share?

@Truth Addict That's the BEST kind!

EVERYBODY SING WITH ME!!!

No "one" being is ever going to be a complete manifestation or reflection of God, God realized or not. Sometimes what someone doesn't embody is as enlightening as what they do embody. After all God loves a world with contrast or else the world could not be. You don't miss the water until the well runs dry.

Ralston just needs Jesus and a bit of Kali and he'll be good as new.

@Aakash It's the energy of the events that people feed off of. There's incredible power, whether for good or for bad that comes from a crowd of people with the same intention. Each and every one of us is in tune with collective consciousness, awakening is just a glimpse of the deep meaning and ramifications of oneness. There's no I to awaken. Just one energy, just the collective as a whole, just one consciousness.

@Aakash Why do you think people enjoy going to concerts and rallies so much?

@kieranperez You have so much going for you, I can see that through your posts. Your work ethic along with your desire for the truth, I really don't think you could fuck this up if you tried.

Most of us don't brush properly, my sister taught me how to brush my teeth properly for the first time as an adult when she started working in a dental office. When you brush angle the brush so that it's at a 45 degree angle and centered where your gums meet your teeth. Brush very lightly and always have a soft or extra soft toothbrush. I started having gum problems even though I always floss and this fixed them.

@lmfao Stealing from Abraham hicks here, "a belief is a thought you keep thinking." Imagine that you're standing in the dark on a mountain. You're thinking to yourself there's a lake to the east, a hill to the west and you keep trying to remember the lay of the land in your head. Then there's a flash of lightning and you see the entire lay of the land for a second clearly. Then the flash is gone and you're left with the image in your head, understanding. You don't have to try to remember using words of things and their specific locations, you "see" without seeing.

@Preetom The Jesus period was the LOC 800s. I had no idea what was going on at the time. In a way it was healing, like shadow work from having been a little girl who truly wanted to know the Truth and knew wholeheartedly that the truth was Jesus then later learned that that was something to be ashamed of. But it didn't feel like shadow work at the time it felt like a revival. A part of me knew during the whole thing that I was doing it to feel safe and to hide. I don't know where I am now on the scale. There was a short time of rough depression, then trying to slow down the back and forth movement I went through a somewhat nihilistic phase again. I feel very stable and grounded but still bothered by a lot old thought patterns.

@Zigzag Idiot Love it. I used to love the number 3 as a child. Hated 6. I have a REALLY fun zip code number. I love this song from the Osho documentary.

On what level do you ask this question? Where in the book, where on Ramaji's scale, or do you mean it to be a mind stopping question. Where are you?

Pleeeeeeeease, just try to film one? The most powerful ways of seeing, understanding and connecting are beyond words.

Where IS David? I'm reading Ramaji's 1000 and now understand my Christian revival stage and why that all happened. It felt much more exciting than whatever THIS stage is.

@Zigzag Idiot We seem to have the right conditions for lyme in the northeast, the deer and mice carry the lyme disease and then the deer ticks transmit it during their life cycles having fed on different creatures before they find humans. It usually takes a long time to transmit so I'm hoping I removed the tick in time, I found it pretty quickly. Seed ticks sound awful, how do you remove them all? Cemeteries are great places to find "easter eggs" as I call them, signs or synchronicity or pointers. Did you find anything through the numerology?

Loved @Emerald 's answer. I think that this expectation starts in stage orange and can potentially grow even stronger in stage green and definitely carries over to stage yellow, where it finally starts to see itself a little more clearly. I recently did some shadow work and never realized the extent to which I had been ashamed of both my feminine nature and my tendency to be outspoken at times. I had different people in my life shaming me for different traits. The only relief that can be found to any suffering that has to do with how we identify is spirituality and realizing that there's no need to identify with anything at all. Everything we "learn" or decide about ourselves and our culture is ultimately a story, a fiction and becomes a self fulfilling prophecy that creates a shadow and later suffering. Self realization of no self is where true freedom lies.

@Truth Addict Congrats on finishing the year! Woo hoo!!!

You might want to check out the slow carb diet from Tim Ferris. It's the most painless one to lose weight on in my opinion, it's way underrated.