mandyjw

@seeking_brilliance Oh no, sorry to your friend! I'm an accidental witch but my magic is just that I'll open your eyes to synchronicity but you still are the power that creates your own reality, or us as the Collective God is co-creating reality. I got upset by something yesterday, and it was completely unexpected where it came from. I was already very tired and in a low mood. It struck a nerve that was a really deeply ingrained and unexamined pain point, one of my remaining demons. Something in me said "that's not true", and I went into the sensations I was feeling in my body. Instead of having to sit with discomfort a while, I was surprised how quickly I saw through the illusion and felt love. I woke up today and felt revived. Today I noticed a car I've never seen before down the hill from the place I started going to get insights last winter where a lot of my awakening revolved around. It was a black sports car from out of state with the license plate DEMONS. Yesterday I went for a run where I got the idea to metaphorically offer someone an apple and I got the idea for a metaphor of wolves fighting and baring their throats to one another. I used it in the conversation and then I went to pick up my son at my parent's. I have a doberman there that isn't good with my kids, so I had to give her to them but I still ADORE her. Dobermans have a way of sticking their nose up and looking up at you when they want affection, so she did that and I scritched her chin and she licked my throat. She never does that!

@seeking_brilliance I really enjoy your lighthearted journal entries. So I want you to DEEPLY examine where this comes from. When it comes up on its own spontaneously, really watch the thoughts that come up. What are the stories that are being told you yourself about it? Is it because Leo's style has a way of lighting a fire under our asses so we'll want this? Is it because you believe that effort=results? That's true to a point but it's an oversimplification. There is a danger in turning it into dogma. Or is it because you honestly feel a draw or a pull toward deeper meaning and you aren't following it? Once you know more about it comes from follow the thoughts to their root what are the subtle sensations that come up? Is there tightness in the chest or is it more a gut feeling kind of resistance? You have an amazing outlook and attitude and your interest and curiosity will take you far. At 22 there is a lot of turbulence as you transition into adult life. Remember that the early 20's are supposed to be fun and they are supposed to be somewhat exploratory. The prefrontal cortex isn't completely developed until 25. You will find that your ability to go deep and focus will come. You're right where you should be. Fuel your passion for this journey but don't get caught in beating yourself up or thinking you should do more. Counterintuitevely if we fuel an authentic love and desire for truth, we'll happily be willing to do more, it won't even seem like a choice anymore. The only thing between you and that authentic love is resistance, so remember when it comes up, go into the sensations of it. The duality between spiritual life and regular life, the duality between spiritual practice and daily life gets slowly disappears the further we go. I believe that knowing up front that the difference between the two is an illusion will help that process go faster. Good luck on your retreat!

@Nahm Got sick of popcorn?

@tsuki woof.

@seeking_brilliance Driving is a very high level spiritual practice. There are few others quite so dangerous.

@Enizeo Yes, same questions if you would please.

@seeking_brilliance I want you to be very aware of your mindset and how you feel in your approach to meditation. You really want the result of having more improved focus on the fan. Can you let go of this desire/expectation and see what happens? Even 15 seconds of focus out of that 15 minutes is a win and building your connection with Source. Sometimes a text message is more meaningful than a half hour telephone conversation. What I want you to move your intention toward is feeling the magic of that focus. It's not something we are supposed to be doing instead of another thing, it's the beautiful seashell on the beach you stop your walk for a moment to pick up and admire. Also, your subconscious maybe wants you to treat yourself to a candy bar?

The opening of the third eye chakra corresponds with a certain stage of enlightenment. If you have not done the ground work you will not want to attempt to "will" the opening of the third eye chakra. In addition, there are different paths, and different chakras will need to open first in some people rather than others, they can open from the bottom up, or top down, but even that is a gross oversimplification. After opening the third eye you will understand why before an earthquake you will want to have your house in order and your furniture secured. There will be a lot of mess to clean up afterwards, but a good foundation in basic personal development, learning how to handle relationships and your own emotions, and proper development of morality cannot be stressed enough. There is good reason why certain spiritual techniques were kept secret for hundreds of years and only passed on at the discretion of a teacher or guru to worthy students.

The pathological thing about stage blue religion is that while it doesn't prevent and can even assist one into moving into stage orange, it uses fear, and employs the fear of death and God itself to prevent a move into green because it teaches that inclusion of other religions, and even honoring nature itself means a denial of one's own God. I live in an area that is too poor and rural to support a move up to orange for many which results in a lot of suffering. However the silver lining is that slowly stage green people are moving in and taking over. They thrive on building up the community that is already in place. They are generally smart enough to keep the political views to themselves unless it really matters but communities of like minded people are growing. I've met a lot of really amazing stage blue people, they are only in that stage because of lack of education. They also have skills that in a rural area, are necessary for survival and are underappreciated by the educated stage green people, until they are needed. I think that's a reason why the "Make America Great Again" thing appealed to so many stage blue people, they see a loss of many truly wonderful qualities in society as people move to orange yet they also hope that Trump will help them prosper enough to experience stage orange for themselves. The heartbreaking thing is that they voted for the person who will fuel pathological orange, at their expense even, more than anyone else could have. Education is everything, but it has to be presented in a very careful loving way that does not look at people in a certain stage as a problem that needs to be solved but rather potential that needs care to blossom and bear fruit. I think the best use of one's effort is to educate stage green people about spiral dynamics and help them move into yellow. From there they become much more effective in understanding stage blue and doing things that promote stage blue's evolution rather than resistance.A lot of stage green people think that because they completed college in the past that they are highly educated, they worship education but don't fully appreciate how far they have to go themselves.

Love transcends hierarchy, roles and power dynamics. For example I can parent my children by using power and control or I can connect with love and a deeper wisdom that does what the moment and situation requires out of love. I am from one perspective the child's parent, I'm bigger, smarter and wiser. And yet taking on the role of a parent, if I accept the challenge fully will change me to the core of my being. While I'm the parent, the trick of the universe is that that little child will become a tyrant who demands the love I show it be pure. It knows what real love is. I as the parent am the one who forgot in my growing up and attainment of my strength and knowledge. There's a a moment when you hold your child's hand and see the magic of the world and the connection together and you are both roles simultaneously. That's love, that's what we're here for.

This verse is stuck in my lead lately. "If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles." It's one of those simple verses that needs to be contemplated for a lifetime to get its depth, similar to "Love your neighbor as yourself." Going one mile with resistance when asked is how most of us live our lives. Being born into this world itself is a big ask. The law of attraction teaches you to happily go two. Choose to go two. Put your soul into the work that's asked from you and do it twice as well, happily. When someone or something hurts you, go deeply into the sensations of it, deeply into the body. I have a hypothesis that once you become skilled at doing it, it can be contemplated on a much deeper level than before. There is no potential for insights unless you're willing to deeply feel the sensations that arise, and go to greater depth than on the surface it would seem was necessary. That's going two miles.

I would LOVE to hear your thoughts about it. I appreciate comments on my journal so feel free to come here to chat anytime!

You could say that you're tricking yourself or you could say that you see through to the truth. Numbers are a common way that synchronicity shows itself, synchronicity are like glitches in the fabric of reality that guide us into seeing how we create our reality.

You don't need trust when you're consumed by the foolishness of love. It'll either burn you alive or purify you to your essence. It's out of my hands.

@tsuki You're stronger, faster, smarter and we both know it, isn't fear a natural outcome?

@tsuki I got it. Too late to catch it. ARRRGHHH!!!! You know though, if you just pretend to bare you throat to draw someone in, that's not actual surrender, it's a trick.

Sorry? Responsible? Blaming yourself? What sort of delusion of grandeur have you fallen into?

If I had to choose between love or enlightenment, I'd choose love. Luckily, that's a not a choice I will have to make. of course you can deny that there are two paths and only choose to complete one. You either bare your fangs or your throat. There are some who cannot/will not bare their throats. The integration of Love and Enlightenment is knowing that the two roles are one act. You can't know that until you experience each role.

I can't integrate the duality between the aloneness and togetherness of reality and was hoping you could help me. And in the asking of that I feel very vulnerable because maybe I am wrong, maybe I'm attached. It's easy for others to get stuck on a technique that helped them to see their nature and have a breakthrough, how are you to cope on your own if that wasn't a technique but a person? Yesterday I was watching the river and there were these flies sort of bouncing along the surface as the river flowed beneath them and then my kid splashed them and I watched the drops of water merge and the flies scattered and just magically reappeared. Then we walked home and there across from the road the sun was straight ahead and it lit up all these flies that were dancing magically in the road as dragonflies ate them, and I saw that life itself is just a dance or movement and tricks of light. And it's as if to see the dance you have to stop moving and stay still and be the stillness that allows the dance to occur, but yet the stillness is incomplete, it is illusory separate from the dance, and you have to reenter the dance of survival and love. Leo and Winterknight are both mostly correct in their perspectives and need to be integrated within oneness. People don't understand that therapy is not therapy, psychedelics are not psychedelics. Nothingness is not nothing and love is not love. It's Schrodinger's horse, as we ARE the horse and we are sadomasochists.

@jbram2002 Sometimes I let my unconditional love be blocked with conditions.

@tsuki I get the message, you prefer playing with yourself. It seems to be a common condition around here. Leo thinks psychedelics and personal autonomy is the magic that results in awakening to Love. Winterknight thinks that therapy will result in awakening to Nothingness.

I don't have a sword, you're imagining that I do. It makes me want to cry. Two is the simplest it gets before one. I've already written a lot about that in the past few weeks elsewhere. Saying that the paths are infinite is true but it dismisses a very important distinction that if realized would result in the final integration of the two.

Ah... what is the blindness to oneself you speak of? There are two distinct and separate paths Tsuki. Neither is superior to the other. They converge in the end.

When I try to sit back, watch the movie and eat popcorn the director shouts, "MANDY, YOU FORGOT YOUR GODDAMN LINES." I'm so jealous.

Love is blind to ego, it includes ego to such an extent that it no longer exists on its own.