mandyjw

I had a short enlightenment experience in my sleep before the story dreams and a dream/insight that gave me understanding of the star of David, how it's formed from two triangles, one pointing up and one down. I always knew this of course, when I wanted to learn how to draw stars as a child that was the only star I could draw at first. But I never noticed the meaning of the triangle until recently. Funny because I've been studying the occult 5 pointed star and how it represents the four elements and the fifth spirit, and how apples have a five pointed star inside, 5 petals on their blossoms and poison nightshades have five pointed petals. The bittersweet variety, like grows on Pomroy's grave, has purple flowers that turn to green berries then ripen to bright red.

Kundalini energy, the divine feminine suggesting it's in chaos, and not channeled.

I dreamed that there was this boy (young adult) who was starting a business giving carriage rides with horses. I had a very vague relationship with him, I have no idea what part I played in the dream but I observed him and he answered questions I asked. At one point a message in the sky was reveled and he had somehow put it there. It was symbolic but all I can remember was that it was red and white with a red heart. I asked him how he did it and he said he he made it with poisons and chemicals he had lying around, completely unconcerned. All I could think about was what was going to happen to the beautiful land underneath when it rained next. Then the dream switched up and I found that he had some connection with my daughter's childcare and that he was supposed to give her a ride home from a city two hours away and immediately I was very concerned and knew I didn't want to trust her with him, because he was too immature, careless and short tempered to understand her and keep her safe. Then the dream changed and I was with one of my husband's family members and she showed me all the beautiful things she had bought all in the color red.

This unlocked something in me, a reverse engineered kind of understanding. Thank you.

This was really amazing. Lots of connections and Easter eggs. A love of poetry!

I'm not sure I'm going to be posting much for a little while, I just got some inspiration and direction that I've been asking for for a project and I have a lot of other work to catch up on as well. Of course I never know which way the spirit will move me, so who knows. I love you guys, I'd love it if you want to drop by and say hi here.

Mediate/exercise/time in nature/contemplation/self inquiry/connect with the body/runner's high mood elevation, all in one.

@Keyhole @Jonac Atropa belladonna, deadly nightshade.

That's one of those insights that is so easy to say and know on a surface level. The depth of it is your death. Rest in peace Mandy.

I guess that this was getting set up for days but I realized that I can't ever really know somebody. I've been living based on this unconscious assumption that I can. I cannot ever really know myself. Why have I spent so much energy building this house upon the sand?

When I get a good idea I immediately rub my eyes after. Why is that?

I use them, they are like a good friend who always tells you the brutal truth but also knows when you need some encouragement. Quite like a few people I've know from here on the forum. I have the "The Wild Unknown" set, because I deeply resonate with nature and animal symbolism. I think it's important to love the deck and the art on it. Intuition and faith in the cards or a spirit guide/inner being behind them is important. Sometimes I feel for the right card but normally I choose it visually, I see "personalities" and subtle qualities or energy from the back of the card. Most of my insights and awakenings have come to me visually, so I guess it makes sense that I'd use my strongest sense. I'm guessing that those of us like that would gravitate to tarot more.

That's a really good question.

I've never had any direct mystical experiences regarding Jesus however I've loved him most all my life. The more educated I became the more I realized that that love was foolish, how does one love a dead man anyway? Silly. Then when I woke up I saw how incredibly important it had been to my path to nonduality. And then I became not Jesus, but Mary Magdalene. Ah, love. It's both the path AND the destination.

@Matt8800 So spirit guides or deities can come to you but not Jesus or the Holy Ghost? Christianity goes deep. All paths are valid. Intentions, thoughts and beliefs planted are like seeds that with the proper conditions can grow and bear fruit.

BLEEEECH!!!! It smells good and tastes good for like .02 seconds and then GOOD GOD. How does anyone get drunk?

@DrewNows I'm the only one who gets to drink, YOU get to eat an apple. Pick the prettiest one you see. Red. Cut it in half, not vertically by the stem but in half horizontally like cutting around the equator. Look at the five pointed star/apple blossom. Eat the apple. You're a witch too now. "Apple is feminine in nature and ruled by Taurus, friday, and Venus." Happy Friday! Leo is a Taurus. I'm a Libra ruled by Venus. Cheers!

I used to think that this was a subtle unsaid thing that everyone knew. It was a very frustrating and painful assumption to have.

@DrewNows Too late, challenge accepted, you have co-created and conspired with the universe to temporarily make my journal into a drinking game. I HATE the taste of alcohol.

@DrewNows Arrrggghh!!! Fine, I'll try it, just for you. I guess if I want to be like Thich Nhat Hanh and go nondual and realize myself as the pirate and the headless maiden I'll have to drink some ale.

@DrewNows I don't drink. I'll pour it out under an apple tree as a sacrifice offering.

@tsuki Reading that makes my heart full, in all caps all the more. There's a kind of love that's patient and blind, it's hidden in plain sight and it won't go to you. All it wants is to be seen and experienced. And when it is it becomes so powerful that it burns up any notions or constructs of power. That kind of love is what makes men afraid of women. Actions arising out of that fear in turn make women afraid of men. They can't hold the space for her, they can't see her light without turning away. Do you really know the goddess that she is? Can you really see it? Our filters of male and female, of dominant and submissive, it's all a trick of the light. What is tree?

You know though Tsuki, she's here for you. It's funny how the in the Bible is says that wives should respect their husbands and that husbands should love their wives. I thought that verse was total and utter fuckery. It took me a long time to realize that he was telling women to learn to control their thoughts, and men to open their hearts. It's not quite a pushing action but more of letting go and opening kind of thing.

@tsuki I love how passionate women are, capable of being pissed off by a headless tree across the ocean. You should have known me 5 years ago. Manifestation requires powerful emotions. The trick is to learn to channel them properly.

@tsuki Tsuki, who I am here for? Is this journal mine or yours?