mandyjw

Now that's a gorgeous Easter egg of poetry. The tree of us. Part of integrating heart and mind is hearing a pointer that you somehow desperately want to solve and it may take years of learning and experiencing life to feel the depth of it in your heart. That's the power of some of the scriptures. The intention and desire to understand is the true pointer, not the words, though they may appear to be. If you spend years of your life being a raving fundamentalist Christian, using the words and pointers as if they were actual swords, then that's how God chose to learn that lesson through you. I fondly remember my fundamentalist Christian days, it was a fundamental part of my path. Nobody died. Don Quixote gonna attack windmills. Haters gonna hate so say fuck it, let your light shine bright. Dude, seriously, check out Abraham Hicks! She channels and is very loving and sensible with her advice and interactions with people. Learning to channel is just awakening to where creativity/love comes from, and learning to connect with it and know when you're connected and when you aren't. No butt potions necessary.

@tsuki Love can never be invalidated. You're making a case to keep knowledge hidden, I'm making a case for it to be out in the open. I'm making a case for Leo sharing stuff like this as the example of the greatest love and courage, in fact if I were to criticize Leo I'd say he shouldn't hide the good stuff on his blog so much. Obviously there's a balance that needs to be struck though. Words don't teach so there's no harm in saying the truth. They can only ever point to it. They never point to a knife hidden in the closet, they can only ever point to love. @flowboy Pure creativity comes from outside the ego and it is the same thing as channeling. I don't see it as being foolish to admit where words or creation comes from, and refuse the worship of people who want to say that it's our own brilliance. Lots of teachers and artists have done this throughout history, Eckhart Tolle says time and time again that consciousness and the words that express it flow through him, these teachers admit that they are just a vehicle. One of my favorites is Abraham Hicks. Lots of people say it's a gimmick, but it's through sensation and knowing that the words really resonate within ourselves that we know them as truth. I think the thing is that in your eyes Leo saying this expands the importance of his own personal egoic role in teaching, whereas to Leo it diminishes that role and admits to his readers that he is just a vehicle for source.

Words don't teach, experience does through sensations if we will be open and listen to them. If someone doesn't resonate with what you're saying they will pass it off as craziness, maybe forever or maybe they come back when they are ready. Maybe it's true after all, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." As quoted from Abraham Hicks, "Don't get caught in the trap of trying to serve those who are not in vibrational sync because you can't" "Law of attraction takes care of those who are ready for that."

Whew! Crazy this video was already up on my computer, waiting to be watched this morning.

@tsuki Bingo. It's the inconvenient truth of I/you/we. But if you want to play the authority/power card, I guess you're above/separate from it all. Alchemy/Enlightenment is about transforming fear into love. Your mind will give you all kinds of reasons and stories about why you shouldn't try.

@tsuki The only reason your mind goes there is because of your shadow. You want me to feel fear because you do.

It's TOO LATE. The cat is out of the bag. Leo's videos and writings are available to whoever wants to look them up. Countless ancient secrets are now on youtube. 24 “The student is not above the teacher, nor a servant above his master. 25 It is enough for students to be like their teachers, and servants like their masters. If the head of the house has been called Beelzebul, how much more the members of his household! 26 “So do not be afraid of them, for there is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known. 27 What I tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight; what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the roofs. 28 Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell. 29 Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. 30 And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. 31 So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+10&version=NIV Don't you see, we hide the truth from others and come up with excuses why it's good for their own behalf, just so we can keep ourselves safe. Or at least, keep people from thinking we're crazy.

Last night I had an insight that, "Chaos = Synchronicity" I'm going to explain it in a video, it requires a lot of contemplation and exploration. It's challenging to take insights from sleep that pack the punch of a deep feeling of knowing back into my daily life and then try to explain them to other people. Yet this very process is also the integration of the insight within myself.

In order to build a house you have to cut stones, cut trees, forge nails, dig out the earth and destroy countless plants and animals as collateral damage in the process. Destruction is the first step to creation. Or more accurately it's simultaneous with creation. You take nature that formed in a free manner and destroy it to form to your image. If the image we try to match comes from the ego, which is the only place that ideas of power can exist, the ripple effects of chaos in what we build strengthen and eventually destroy whatever we build, but more so they hurt others and destroy ourselves because we are only ever building with ourselves. If we learn to let creation tell us how it wants to be shaped we create out of love and in our desire to create alongside God, we have an opportunity to transcend the ego. The only thing that is ever being really destroyed is the illusory separate self. Structure is like a bandaid you put on a wound. It protects the wound and makes us feel like we've done something. But the wound heals and then the bandaid is thrown away.

With that logic you just called Jesus the worst spiritual teacher in history. Chaos is creation. Give me an example of someone who has been damaged from getting too much knowledge too soon from a teacher and not just displayed a massive ego backlash?

There's a huge difference between reading the Bible before an awakening and after an awakening. You know how some pointers resonate with some people at certain times and others don't? Even when we think we're keeping an open mind, we don't even know what an open mind actually is. After you've seen duality collapse, you start seeing pointers to the nature of reality as oneness literally everywhere. Then that ancient language makes sense, and you realize how it was that much of the Bible was actually the inspired word of God and how it got so horribly twisted. Back before psychedelics people got to that awakening on their own through faith and devotion. People's faith certainly can be abused as we've seen countless examples of for hundreds of years, but now we've gone so far against religion and thinking faith is silly that we've forgotten how incredibly powerful it can be.

There's this kind of independence that's ruthless. There's a kind of independence that says you let me down once, then fuck you, I'll find a way to meet my needs myself or leave them unmet. That of course is the ego. I want to know what enlightened independence is. I guess it's knowing that in your being all alone, you're never ever alone. It's not expecting anything from anyone but appreciating everything that they are. I've been quite disconnected from that enlightened state the past few days, I could blame certain circumstances for it, but instead I'll just say that you can't appreciate really appreciate water unless the well runs dry sometimes. That's the entire point of life isn't it?

More Easter eggs from Dad, in the 1950's when everyone was afraid because of the Cold War my Grandparents attended a sermon by Hyman Appleman, a Christian convert Jewish man born in Russia, and became Christians. He told me a story about how he went a church Halloween party and he never went to their Halloween parties but decided to go last minute so his mother had a half hour to put together a Great Pumpkin costume for him. So he went disguised as the Great Pumpkin and no one knew who he was. There was kid who lived across the street from the church who was a "warlock". At the party he kept attacking dad and destroying his costume so dad eventually figured it was dark enough to get away it so he punched him as hard as he could and the kid left him alone. When the lights came on he saw who it was and was like "oh shit." Dad won the costume contest. He said the kid was always creeping around places and committed suicide a few years later. Last week he told me that he had an uncle who was great at identifying mushrooms and that he bought a new chainsaw and my Grandfather cut a tree down with it, and out came three snakes who were coiled inside the tree. My Grandfather was terrified of snakes so he threw the chainsaw out of terror. There's another story of him and my grandmother falling asleep in a field (not sure what they were up to at the time) and when he woke up a snake was coiled around his ankle. When dad and I left to take the dogs for a walk today there was a snake by the door and I pointed it out. When we returned it was still there stretched out across the doorstep and dad took a shovel to it as I screamed "NO!!" but he nudged it to move and it went in underneath their house.

Raided Daddy's book collection. Looks promising. https://www.amazon.com/Occult-Christ-Mystical-Secrets-Christianity/dp/1888767502/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=the+occult+christ&qid=1567970926&s=gateway&sr=8-1

@Moreira I don't think the romantic aspects are distractions, rather they add to the richness and beauty of life. Not that they can't become distractions, though. In my opinion the potential for distraction is more about choosing one religion as true above another, or getting caught up in other people's interpretations and dogma, or identifying oneself as being a follower or a member of particular tradition. The message I have found is the same truth that flows through all religions, pointers to oneness and suggested ways to experience it.

Easter egg in a dream last night, Cinderella's pumpkin carriage. All these stories and myths point to nonduality and with crazy synchronicity sprinkled throughout them. Do we realize how pagan our beloved stories are? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cinderella Life is stranger than fiction. Life imitates art. "One day the gentleman visits a fair, promising his stepdaughters gifts of luxury. The eldest asks for beautiful dresses, while the younger for pearls and diamonds. His own daughter merely begs for the first twig to knock his hat off on the way. The gentleman goes on his way, and acquires presents for his stepdaughters. While passing a forest he gets a hazel twig, and gives it to his daughter. She plants the twig over her mother's grave, waters it with her tears and over the years, it grows into a glowing hazel tree. The girl prays under it three times a day, and a white bird always comes to her as she prays. She tells her wishes to the bird, and every time the bird throws down to her what she has wished for." To read later. http://www.gutenberg.org/files/41/41-h/41-h.htm

I'm pretty immersed in studying this currently. One of the key insights of my awakening is that fairytales are real. Crows, trees and stone structures literally played a big part in waking me up. I started intuitively practicing a kind of "witchcraft". It goes deeper than devotion or gratitude, but that's how it begins. My opinion is that the traditions of paganism, wicca and witchcraft suffer the same limitations as Christianity, in that in their modern accesible surface forms, they can be a like a house of mirrors and full of distractions. What's really unfortunate and problematic is that a lot of the attraction to Wicca and Paganism often comes as a sort of rebellious reaction to Christianity and it's influence on society and culture. From that partially misunderstood place of motivation many distractions and impurities arise. I was raised Christian and extremely devoted to Jesus as a kid, so I've traveled through the path of Christianity. I sometimes like to criticize Buddhism for lacking a certain spark but one must say that it's not as deceptive and distracting as other religions and traditions. The very best thing to do to begin with is to take it to its bare bones and study from someone who doesn't profess to follow any religion, tradition or identify as atheist. Like Leo or many of our modern teachers today. All religions lead to the same place. If you've tasted enlightenment and have visited there, you'll be fine studying any tradition you want and you'll be able to sort out the relevant pointers and connections. The more you learn the more duality collapses in this sort of beautifully orchestrated dance of history, myth and tradition. The thing I truly love about paganism and witchcraft is that they give nature the focus and emphasis that it deserves. Trees are incredibly important key elements in Buddhism and Christianity, but they are easily overlooked. Nature doesn't just assist in clearing your mind of thoughts and teaching you how to truly listen. Nature speaks.

Love itself is not selective. Someone or something can seem to reflect "our" love more strongly and guides us in the way we need to go. Sometimes when we feel strong attraction to someone or something we need it in order to learn a lesson about ourselves. Sometimes strong attraction occurs because someone embodies or knows something that we don't and we can mistakenly think that they will make us whole when in reality, they point to something we need to grow and embody in ourselves.

I believe that the need for material things is made into an addiction because of a disconnection from nature. We do have a need to appreciate material things, and nature fills that need in an expert way that takes us deeper to the realization that the "material world" is not as it seems. We also have a need to create, garden, hunt, gather, craft, build, etc. When people are disconnected from the ability to create with and observe nature it naturally comes through in over consumption. It's not something to be shamed or demonized, just understood. There's an inherent unmet need that many people in cities don't have a way to meet. We have not and will not evolve past these needs.

Last night in a "dream" I had this sensation of pain and intuitively expanded my consciousness beyond but still including the body. Then it was shown to me that a rose petal and a teardrop is the same shape, and that they symbolize outward movement from their source. Then I knew/thought that they were representing sensuality and I thought how we associate teardrops and rose petals with the feminine because senses and sensuality are a gift of the "feminine." The senses, like the teardrop or rose petal lead us back to their source.

@Zigzag Idiot I like the angle of contemplation, thank you. Last night I was looking out the window at dusk and saw a bird flitting around, but I'd never seen a bird move so sporadically. It was a bat. Another joined it and I watched them fly around my backyard for quite a while. I decided recently to get some candles and start using them for intention and meditations. Can't have any paraffin shit, it has to be real beeswax. A few weeks ago I found a cigarette lighter on the playground I took my kids to. I don't like to touch things like that but I knew I couldn't leave it on the playground. Yesterday I realized that I needed a lighter for candle magic, and remembered that I already had one. Then I saw a Facebook post of an abandoned exploration group I'm a member of. The entire thing was sychronistically channeled. I'd share the photos but they aren't mine to share. Someone had been doing spell work in an abandoned house somewhere with red and white candles, red chili peppers hung over a mirror.On the mirror was written "She only comes when your stone cold sober." Under the mirror was a table with a pile of red and white stripped peppermints and 3 of clubs card. There was a "Maid of the Mist" hat hung up and "Autumn Eve" written on the wall. This morning I got up before 5 and went to light a candle for Dr. Pomroy. Or the raven. I wore by bright red jacket and it was chilly. I picked some white flowers and held them along with the candle as it burned. Today is a special day, I've been looking forward to all summer. I found an old calendar page in a Narnia book of my husbands. He had a daily Lord of the Rings calendar and used the day for a bookmark. It was September 6, The Return of the King. On the back I drew a forest with an apple tree with mushrooms growing around it. I believe I understand the meaning of the prediction now. On my walk a crow was making an awful sound or call deep in the woods. I stared at the faulty streetlight as I walked and it came on brightly. Before I left I went to the old apple tree, the one with a bone that lies beneath it. I took the biggest ripest apple. It was good. On the way home I went by the river and the mist was coming off it and it was stunning. A heron was there and flew ahead of me as I walked. I've never seen a more graceful bird. The way they move is otherworldly. I always wanted to write. When the world is such a magical beautiful place, it fills you up. It's fills you up to such an extent that tears of love leak out of your eyes. It fills you up and it overflows into art of all kinds.

"The Scarlet Ibis" was a story that I really loved. I read it in freshman English class. I couldn't remember much about it, but I especially remember the illustration for it, of the swamp in our textbook. It was a watercolor painting and I loved it. The poem kept coming up in my mind so I read it again tonight. A feast of emotion, symbolism and synchronicity. The vivid descriptions of nature, the red, green, white color symbolism, the symbolism of Fatherly masculine grace, the lightning, the rain. The best Easter egg of synchronicity is this, "Finally I went back and found him huddled beneath a red nightshade bush beside the road." http://whs.wsd.wednet.edu/Faculty/Zobel/documents/TheScarletIbisText.pdf

16 min in the star of David. Upward triangle masculine, downward feminine. Then he draws a symbol for the grail path.

Last night I dreamed of a huge MASSIVE raven sitting directly in the center of Pomroy's step pyramid and it was staring back at me. I was terrified in a fear of God kind of way. I keep thinking of the way CS Lewis describes Aslan. https://tollelege.wordpress.com/2011/11/16/terrible-and-beautiful-by-c-s-lewis/ https://grimfrost.com/blogs/blog/hugin-and-munin-the-duality-of-your-mind Hugin and Munin, clarity and paradise.

@Natasha I'm so sorry for your loss. The best advice I've ever heard on dealing with grief is that since death is an illusion, we must look for our loved ones where they are and not look where they aren't. You really can see them in the sky, or a flower, you can feel their timeless presence and they really do leave little signs for us. That said, grief and loss are meant for feeling, just like love. When we see through the loss and grief to eternal love, we see what a window death can be the nature of God.