mandyjw

Day one of "homeschooling", or try-to-get-your-kid-to-do-stuff-they-don't-want-to-do. Pray for me. Funny, he's most resistant to do his journal activity. The object is to write about anything you want, but he's not feeling the freedom of possibility but feels paralyzed because he doesn't have his actual journal and can't continue the subject he had going.

@Nahm Awesome, I can see why.

@Nahm Woooooow. That song always annoyed me. Who would have thought? Who do you think you are? Ha ha ha, bless your soul You really think you're in control? Well I think you're crazy I think you're crazy I think you're crazy Just like me

https://membean.com/wrotds/path-feeling "The Greek root word path can mean either “feeling” or “disease.” This word root is the word origin of a number of English vocabulary words, including sympathy, apathy, pathological, and sociopath. An easy way to remember these different meanings is that a sympathetic person “feels” pain with another, whereas a psychopath does twisted things because he has a “diseased” mind."

Woooooah.

This morning during meditation the memory came up of asking the chiropractor I saw if he meditated. He said no but that he has a lot of books about meditation. Neither of us realized how funny that was at the time, and it sort of struck me then. Then I realized that I was supposed to be meditating and instead was thinking about this and then I really laughed. Then my husband finished the rest of the orange juice, which is for the kids who have colds and this brought up an awful feeling of anger or some complex mix of that type. As I went into the feeling, the thought arose "it's nothing" and I saw my mind repressing the feeling by drawing the conclusion of self inquiry that it had accepted, cutting myself off from investigating the feeling itself.

Wow, that turned around quick. What a day. "Care about how you feel" has a deeper meaning every day.

The schools are too late to close in my opinion and I had to pull my daughter out of daycare... permanently. I asked if the provider would make an exception since she probably will need to take in more kids with closed schools but she had said I had to pay in full or lose her spot. She starts school for a half day in fall. I checked my accounts today and I just can't afford it anymore. My life is going to change a lot. I put her in daycare last year and it was a huge step forward for me because I felt so helpless at home. I know she's mirroring me but she's emotional and volatile as heck. I guess it's time to face it. There's a tendency I have to identify as someone who "knows better"... the spiritual ego. The truth is, I still experience the entire spectrum of thoughts, anxiety galore and even suicidal thoughts. I noticed today that I can go from a suicidal thought to peaceful and positive in almost, well, no time. Thoughts are a phenomenon I can neither own nor disown. What I've learned this year about watching my vibration and paying attention to how I feel has become like a do or die thing in the recent week. Reminds me of being REALLY in labor and thinking that my decision to have a baby wasn't a good idea. The ridiculousness of rebelling against what is in that moment is absurd, like it is now. BUT the conditions must be right. Surrender, surrender, surrender. Turning the computer off now. Much love to everyone.

Scared AF again today. I'm such a nerd, reading, reading, reading. I KNOW there's something weird going on here, I know it's too weird to be true. I was so in alignment with it last night. The median age of where I live is far higher than Italy. The people who run everything in my community are in their 60s, 70's. Yeah, I discovered the law of attraction, yeah I had an awakening. Yes I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, and am reminded over and over of this new nonreality but still running on some old patterns. Other things about the forum are starting to really bother me. Like vibration attracts like vibration. I see now more clearly than ever how my thoughts are always in line with my vibration. I could use my nerdiness for good. 25,000 die of hunger everyday, doesn't that put this fear in perspective? Now I feel like an elitist privileged jerk for being scared for my community. Feeling like a jerk feels better than fear, so we'll go from there. I know that's not right either. I can keep changing the perspective as I direct my attention until there's none that fits. "Everyone is responsible for the thoughts they think and the things they choose as their objects of attention." -Abraham Hicks

The shutdowns are having a big impact on our carbon footprint for the better. All those planes being grounded is an enormous air emissions saving and the impact goes far beyond that. Coal emissions in China were way down before it spread very far. This article is back from February 26. https://www.nytimes.com/2020/02/26/climate/nyt-climate-newsletter-coronavirus.html

Oh, it gets funnier. Was staring at the running shoe box. I haven't had this brand of shoe since I was a kid. The word Saucony comes from the Lenni Lenape Native American word “saconk,” meaning “where two rivers run together. Inspired by the original location on the Saucony Creek, our logo represents a running river marked by three boulders. Let it take me Back to the river

Today is the first day in a bit that I've gotten out of fear mode in a little while. My new running shoes came in the mail today. It was a really weird experience because I was meditating and had this vision of a very specific running shoe, on my foot. I could even guess what brand it was. I needed new running shoes because I suspect the last brand of giving me back pain, and actually found the shoe I "saw", in that brand, in the exact color combo I had seen and I bought them. So I went for a run and went to the cemetery on intuition even though I wasn't planning to. I enjoyed the sun and the clouds were moving, making it seem like the trees were moving instead again. Sat beside Dr.P's grave because that's the only place the sun was and stared at the shoe on my foot and contemplated how time works. The pyramid theme he designed his grave in and connecting that with the "discomfort" of sitting upright and that arises in other situations, a rushed feeling, feeling of restlessness which @Nahm really helped me reframe this week, really stuck out to me. When I came home I looked up an odd Ecclesiastes quote I saw on the headstone of someone with the same last name as me, which my dad had noted a verse from James besides, so I read some in James and found some interesting parallels. Then I picked up my Abraham Hicks cards, and read some in my Green Witch book. Then I asked @remember what her avatar meant and we had a conversation and SO many things came together all at once. There's a global pandemic and things are working out for me. What is this Abraham Hicksesque devilry? eye of prov·i·dence the protective care of God or of nature as a spiritual power. I eye aye

So you say food science is absolute, black and white, and awakening is NOT absolute. The tricky thing is that "not absolute" does not mean, NOT ABSOLUTE. Focus on what you want, don't fight what you don't want, because it's all you. Life is a gift, but if we are too busy criticizing the wrapping paper, we'll never discover what's inside.

@DrewNows That's some great synchronicity. I've noticed more and more how the same content changes when read again. It's completely based on us and our perception. I feel like we're a good mirroring match because our blind spots don't line up well but we also really appreciate each other. Slowly quietly embracing some of your food and disease outlooks. @Zigzag Idiot Wow, that's quite an analogy when you compare it to awakening and liberation huh? Frozen, fluid, gas. There is a sudden profound change, yet also no change and the heating process is the same. I've never followed a spiritual teacher that implied that it was their way or the highway although I saw someone who came up with a home organization system that said "you can't serve two masters". I remembered it because I was already just using her system to build off another one, with good success. Jesus said this "No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other." It's a nondual pointer! The One, not the one. I never thought of it that way. Of course it's misunderstood. This video by Rupert Spira is really, really amazing. Almost as if it were made just for me.

If someone believes that fast food is healthy, and is disconnected enough with their body that they have not yet noticed this to be false, then goes telling people that they are wasting their time by eating vegetables, would you allow them to continue preaching this on the site that you built for the purpose of helping people better their lives? I doubt it.

Because it's relative, it's only your point of view that matters. That's why he's cracking down, if people don't take the time to consider their own experience, and really examining/sitting with how they feel about things then instead of examining the feeling itself, they seek to control other's points of views. In doing this they attempt to get them to align with theirs, sometimes this comes out in the form of attempting to teach others. The alignment only happens within, then there aren't others, just alignment.

Love Jenna. Nice to meet you all!

@SilentTears That's so FUNNY, I was just reading this and thought "huh, that sounds weird because I didn't put quotes around the whole thing."

Yes, but something in you must resonate to translate or label pure energy into fear.

I shared this on my facebook page, Regarding coronavirus, “All shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well.” -Julian of Norwich I doubt anyone except me knows that she had a deep love awakening during a serious illness. co·ro·na noun 1. ASTRONOMY the rarefied gaseous envelope of the sun and other stars. The sun's corona is normally visible only during a total solar eclipse, when it is seen as an irregularly shaped pearly glow surrounding the darkened disk of the moon. 2. ANATOMY a part of the body resembling or likened to a crown.

@DrewNows Awesome! The Abraham Hicks clip was really good by the way, thank you. I have a nearly 5 month old Vizsla, picked a calm one out of the liter because I know how hyper they are. Still pretty hyper, but SO sweet. He's shaping up to be an amazing dog, super intelligent, super in tune with things and always up for adventure. He's amazing with my son, and they have the same color hair, it's adorable. So I've been engaging in some panic buying/preparation. Home with a sick kid today, but we still have the regular flu running rampant here. All our Tylenol was out of date so I went out to get some. There was this lady with two carts stocked FULL to the brim with stuff. She was so patient and sweet and commented jokingly on how stuff was starting to fall out of her cart. As we went to checkout she told me to go ahead because she had so much stuff to ring through. I feel like the world is conspiring to completely mind fuck the judgement center of my brain. Careful what you wish for, cause you might just get it.

I had a lunch date with my sister today, we ended up going into the cemetery and I showed her Dr.P's grave. After we had a conversation about psychedelics and Leo. I had a dream that connected the two things together, her and Leo, a couple nights ago. She told me that she was against psychedelics, but that she was a prime candidate for them and told me she had trauma from when she was a teenager and started to break down about it. The emotions and the way this came out... the feeling it left me with broke my reality.

Froglessness – poem by Thich Nhat Hanh The first fruition of the practice is the attainment of froglessness. When a frog is put on the center of a plate, she will jump out of the plate after just a few seconds. If you put the frog back again on the center of the plate, she will again jump out. You have so many plans. There is something you want to become. Therefore you always want to make a leap, a leap forward. It is difficult to keep the frog still on the center of the plate. You and I both have Buddha Nature in us. This is encouraging, but you and I both have Frog Nature in us. That is why
 the first attainment of the practice— froglessness is its name.

The work is done, but how no one can see; 'Tis this that makes the power not cease to be. -Lao-tzu