mandyjw

I guess we could be open-minded that he might be neither open-minded nor closed-minded?

@JessiChell The key to all relationship problems for women is this, pleasure. You're responsible for your own pleasure. Follow your dreams, do what you're passionate about. Make your life perfectly whole. Relationships are only another thing to add to something that's already fantastic. Women are responsible for the life of a relationship. Start really small, make a list of little things you love doing just for you and make a point to do three a day. Can be as seemingly pointless as funny youtube clips, painting your nails, looking at a family heirloom you love but haven't taken out in forever, etc. You'll find quickly that these seemingly meaningless things you do "just for you" evolve into much bigger breakthroughs, ideas and inspirations for life as a whole. When you're absolutely buried in emotions and thoughts about other people, my go-to is to go for a run. Instead of trying to block out the thoughts, I just let the thoughts go, let the punches go and come back to my surroundings and where I am once they run out of fuel behind them. It's usually seen that there really isn't much to the thoughts, that i didn't really believe them anyway but wanted to let them out. It helps a lot for both sleeping and moving emotional "energy" or whatever you want to call it. Good luck!

There must be something to witness for there to be a witness. What you think of you is a reflection with no substance. Other things give you your reality, you depend on them for your existence. Psychologically, you must have existence based on the existence of other people, otherwise you have nothing to compare yourself to or hold yourself up to like a mirror. No one has consciousness.

I didn't have many either. Even if you have it which you probably don't, it's not a big deal at all. Just take the cheap medicine generic they prescribe every morning with a glass of water, wait 30 minutes to eat. Blood test every year. That's all, if you're diagnosed with it. It's really common.

If it doesn't stop soon go get a blood test. This is the complaint I made to my doctor that got my hypothyroidism diagnosed.

I Am That by Nisargadatta Maharaj

@TheHealer There's no conflict whatsoever.

What is the present moment? Can you pinpoint it? What is future, in your experience right now? It's not something to think about. The construct of time exists only as a thought. You go grocery shopping because you plan for the future. Planning only happens now. Action only happens now. The mind concerns itself with thoughts like "I hate grocery shopping", "I don't have time to get everything", "this line is so long". It's not planning, not acting, not present.

Everyone loves you. Some just aren't conscious of it. Doesn't matter though, cause you are love itself.

This book is simply written, but really law of attraction based and aimed at women who are stuck in over work, martyrdom. It helps me rethink my attitude towards not being able to receive a gift. You can't be defensive, fearful, and receive at the same time. (Nonduality) It gets at a feeling of unworthiness. https://www.amazon.com/Things-Will-Get-Good-Stand-ebook/dp/B000FC1EOY/ref=sr_1_2?dchild=1&keywords=as+good+as+you+can+stand+it&qid=1590603708&sr=8-2 My husband and I had a really good conversation after I said some things I didn't mean. I have a really hard time opening up with him because I am defensive, fearful and acting like a martyr. I actually made him a video so I could help explain the bigger picture without fear or temptation of getting reactive and letting his responses send me off into a reactive direction. Obviously this is not ideal for all the time, but I think it's a good tool. Writing letters or notes works the same way.

@TheHealer Don't think of purple elephants. I mean it, don't think of them. If you do you go to hell. Certainly don't think of one eating an ice cream cone. I can't even tell you what will happen to you then. Is the mind made to obey? If you had a child, would you love him unconditionally? Would you tell him everyday of his life that if he steals from you, you'll stop loving him? If you did that, would you really expect him to never steal from you? Or would you expect his need for unconditional love to outweigh his fear, and the power of your suggestion of what not to do to eat away at him until he freed himself of it? Understanding this kind of psychology, the tendency to play devil's advocate in oneself, is necessary to understanding oneness. Do you see how indifferent and unconditional can point to the same thing? Isn't this in itself the greatest freedom? The greatest Love? Would you have it any other way?

Yes! In my opinion the way we treat mental disorders now is going to be looked back at in the future the same way doctors delivering babies without washing their hands is now.

@Shiva99 Have you looked into Carl Jung's work? Nonduality, psychology and even the mystical blend together beautifully.

I think almost everyone here has those thoughts of "not good enough", I sure do. You're most definitely not alone. Don't try to get rid of them, just watch the thoughts and how they try to get you to go along with them and believe that they define you. We all have a purpose, and we all will fulfill that purpose perfectly, no matter what we "do". You can't get this wrong, so go ahead and dream up the life you want. Observe the thoughts that say otherwise and let them go.

Confusion isn't what we think it is, it's suffering, a pleasure pain movement. How can a mind that knows it's confused be confused? How do you know you have repressed memories? Why not enjoy the images of places as they come in? Let them be just as they are? Let go of the thoughts about it and the need to solve it. The more you think of it as a problem the more those thoughts will come up and bother you. If you're curious, let it just be curiosity, no need to add a story about why it might be happening. Sometimes when we let go of our confusion and self imposed need to know the answers we want come in, unexpected, unbidden.

@zeroISinfinity Whack a mole is a great analogy for this "work". Last night I had a random impulse to go to the river. It was wonderful. I saw an eagle immediately, and made some connections. Today I went back with my kids to play. A hornet chased me aggressively and wouldn't leave. I started feeling fear and it started ramping up and I got curious about it. The sound vibration of the hornet and fear melded together and it wasn't fear anymore. It was peculiar, lasted just a couple seconds and is hard to describe.

It does not. You do.

We believe in a higher and a lower self, but there's not two selves. I explain the differences to acknowledge your belief and show you that they actually share the same goal or desire... therefore are one and the same. In thought things are separate, in thought there are borders between states and provinces but if you fly over them they appear as one.

@StarStruck There isn't a higher self or a lower self. Lower self- I want to SURVIVE. I SEE food, I EAT food. Feels good now. I'm completely unconcerned about how carrying 30 extra pounds will feel. Higher self- I want to see myself and have others see myself as a developed, responsible strong person. I put into place strong goals and routines and use self discipline so that I can be a person worth respecting. Which of these selves is concerned with its mental image of itself? BOTH. The lower self is a less personal, inherent survival drive. Primal. The higher self is a psychological drive for self acceptance and acceptance of others. This is also a survival drive. Their methods differ, their goal is the same. They both want to feel good. They both think that by doing the right things they will feel good, but they completely disagree what those things are. It doesn't feel good when they are fighting each other, even though that's the one thing they have in common, they both want to feel good!!! It really helps to focus on the common goal, and be aware of it, you want to feel good.

@remember Dis tract tion is indispensable on the pathless path. "A tract is a literary work and, in current usage, usually religious in nature. The notion of what constitutes a tract has changed over time. By the early part of the 21st century, a tract referred to a brief pamphlet used for religious and political purposes, though far more often the former. "

You improve yourself because you love yourself. You love what you are and you love the idea of where you're going. It's like mothering a child. You don't expect more from him that what he's able to do now, you love him as he is in all his innocence, but you have faith that he will grow and improve. You beat yourself up for not being good enough out of NOT love. Notice the difference in feeling between these two things, and the tendency of the mind to think that it needs to beat itself up to motivate itself. Mind tries to co-opt feeling and true self-improvement. Then we get backlash or self sabotage because the mind is dualistic, while Love and our true nature if One, so the other side of things that we were resisting inevitably comes flooding back to us. Ask yourself how you can sabotage yourself, if there are not two of you? Are there two of you, really?

No, conscientious means you're very thoughtful and careful with your actions and decisions. I seriously admire all of you here who are discussing non-duality in an unfamiliar language, it can't be easy!

@Dutch guy I'm not sure what you read into my response. We see what we want to see. If you want to see pain and suffering, you'll see it. If you want to see Love here and now you'll see it.