Karmadhi

@Preety_India I cater to the guy that struggles with girls and is desperate for anything. You cater to the player who has shit lot of options and has pride and an ego identity out of getting girls. We cater to the two extremes. This explains this whole discussion we re having.

Such men will treat you like shit, pump and dump you and even abuse you. Not healthy mature men these are. It is good that they reject you because they are saving you a lot of headache. A smart mature guy will not use this bullshit ego logic in his life. He will be pragmatic and smart. If he can skip all the headaches of approaching and shit then he will do it without his pride being touched. The whole notion of "conquering someone" is just dumb ego shit. You should want someone that is above such silly immature notions. Be glad such men are rejecting you.

@Preety_IndiaYou simply fail to understand how men think. All that "play hard to get" bs is what females do. That is what you are attracted to, something difficult to get that has high status and everyone wants. Guys are not attracted in that way, they are attracted at least initially in how the girl looks. If a hot girl comes to them they will be EAGER to sleep with her ASAP. End of discussion. Some guys are more feminine like me and want some emotional connection to sleep with someone but such people are not the norm. The norm is what i wrote on the second paragraph.

Exactly, i do not know where she comes up with such statements. Guys will LOVE anything that comes to them for free, because they HATE to approach and do all that game bs. Very few people actually enjoy it, mostly veterans that have made an identity out of it. For most guys it is a necessary evil rather than something they enjoy doing. Especially regarding approaching. Now, in some countries and cultures due to social conditioning the men might feel lame or "girly" if the girl makes the moves and hurt their insecure masculine ego. However, if females making moves would become more common then that cultural conditioning can change in time. Personally if a girl approached me i would be a bit weirded out not because "i like to approach" but because it is so uncommon that i would feel like there is a hidden agenda or something. If i was convinced that she was just interested and was bold to make the move i would ABSOLUTELY love it and probably give her a chance when normally i would not (if i had to approach her), so even average or slighlty below average girls would get a good chance to get something. How do you think ugly guys do it lol, approaching a lot will lead better results compared to being passive.

@Leo Gura You should develop it for your own life satisfaction more than anthying else. Being serious logical mode 24/7 is not healthy and this is coming from a very logical serious person.

@Leo Gura I know guys that are good with girls even though they are formal and reserved. Usually these people are very confident, grounded, assertive and give 0 shits. Ruthless warrior type of vibes, not playful rascals. I think there are different ways to getting laid and being playful and fun is just 1 of them instead of being THE ONE. However i find being playful more enjoyable than being a cold assertive dick regarding getting girls.

@Leo Gura Dont they already have equal rights on developed countries? Where i live nobody hates on them and they live normally without issues. Seems to me more of a eastern europe/middle east kind of issue than a western europe issue. I may be wrong about this, just what i see in my everyday life.

Guys you need to understand that this height thing is relative. He lives in country with tall people. Being 5 8 in such a country would be the equivalent of being like 5 2 in america. “I am 5 2 does not work as an argument because american girls are short in comparison. A better question to this thread would be: Can you get girls that are TALLER than you? This is the real question.

I used to be very insecure about my appearance for many many years. A way i found to help correct it outside of self-love, building your value as a man etc etc was to stop caring about appearance in general for other humans. Whatever you judge on others, is a reflection of judging yourself. I noticed this on other people too, the people that comment the most about others appearances are usually the most insecure about their own appearance. Therefore, if i would judge a girl's worth as a partner or human being based on any amount on her looks then i would also feel like i am judging my worth based on my looks. I cannot go and say "guys judge girls based on looks and that is okay because girls care about personality", that mindset does not work with me. I tried it. If i screen girls harshly based on looks i will feel like i am getting screened harshly based on looks and that will make me somewhat insecure. Now, nuance here please. Of course i have some basic level of looks i care about a female and i expect females to have some basic level of appearance for guys. I tend to be around a 5.5-6/10 generally, so i do not care that much about looks above that for a girl. Now i am not saying that i will not try to hit on girls that are very hot or anything like that. I will hit on everyone i want to, however it will not purely based on looks and the value of the girl in my eyes will not be influenced by looks much. How happy the person makes me and how compatible we are and how much we enjoy each other company is more important indicator. So basically, when i see a girli i see her appearance of course but do not put that much value in it. Personality over looks i guess. Looks matter more as a threshold thing. Energy vibe compatibility values etc are more important. I am talking about relationships and stuff here. One night stands clearly differ. What do you guys think? Is this a massive cope or does it have some usefulness to it as a mindset. It's purpose is basically to make me give 0 shits about my appearance after i take care of myslef because of it is not important much anyway. For this attitude to be embodied i should practice it myself on others otherwise it will be too much cognitive dissonance.

@Preety_India I am saying that you will get intimacy after you sleep with a guy. It is not something to worry about.

@Preety_India Most guys give women plenty of intimacy, intimacy is not a girl thing only. Idk what you re talking about. A guy will give you plenty of intimacy once you had sex with him, usually they are connected and linked.

The discussions/debates between Preety India and Leo regarding gender related stuff and dating are possibly the highlight of this forum for me hahahahahahha

@Leo Gura He is probably coming from a stage green feminine place where girls are loud 24/7 about their rights and are treated very well. It depends on what context you see it, from a micro perspective it does seem like that because men in these places are too meek to do any ordering around for women. However the super powerful men in charge will still use females as ego validation tools. However 99.9 percent of men are not affected by this so it does not occur on their minds. Then, when it comes to countries that are below stage green, well there it is still quite patriartical so his whole comment is irrelevant there. I doubt he is even looking into that when he wrote this.

Guys, any advice on how to become more assertive while staying a good person at heart? I struggle with this a lot.

I personally have a bit of a shadow regarding assertiveness. I tend to be very very empathetic naturally and it is difficult for me to put my agenda so first that i do not care if it hurts others. I tend to be very agreeable personality and make compromises, not just do my thing and give 0 shits what happens to others. That makes me feel like a piece of shit selfish person. I hate that feeling. Any advice on how to become more assertive while staying a good person at heart?

Leo is right OP, she did not even cheat with you. Girls might do that to either test you or just do it without thinking about it. Guys do it all the time too, again it is done without being aware of it. Imagine the scenes in movies where the hot girl comes and the married guy looses the ability to talk straight to her. That is not much nicer than a girl flirting a bit with someone else. Also, the issue is that you need to work more with yourself. Girls are ruthless if you are not on top of your shit, that unconditional love bullshit will not fly in the real world. If you get complacent then she might do stuff like this. Or she is just a bad egg and not worth being in your life and does not deserve your loyalty. In that case find someone who will appreciate you more. Work on yourself for yourself, not to keep the girl.

@Leo Gura Sorry man but you know nothing about me. I have always generated good results through hard work. I am a very good student, have read more about this self development stuff than 95 percent of people my age (im just 22) and did massive work to increase my social skills because i used to be very socially indept a few years ago. Most people my age just use instagram and watch prank videos while i am watching your 3 hour video on conscious politics. When it comes to girls, i just do not see anyone i know need to do this kind of work to get results. They talk to like 20 girls and get 1 of them. People with good social skills need this kind of work, i assume those with horrible social skills need a lot more because they are not just learning how to attract girls but also how to be social in general. A lot of people are already very social and have healthy circle of friends and have no issue talkings to strangers. I am talking about these people, not your typical basement incel. May i ask, why most guys that have healthy sex lives do not do more than couple hundred of approaches all their lives? I am talking about normal looking, normal income, normal status guys. Not celebreties.

@Bando I do not have a credit card and therefore i cannot pay for it. That is why i was asking, i am kind of stuck rn and can only use the free version. Can you use apple store gift cards (you can buy them in electronic stores) as means of payment or it does not work like that?

@Bando Are they that bad without paying? I do not know your age but i doubt most 22 year old guys are paying for Tinder.

@diamondpenguin Just be confident bro! The first 10.000 approaches are just a warm-up bro! Just hold frame bro! Just be Russell Brand bro! Just be so awsome you can get away with anything bro! Just go to Mars bro! Just be a billionare bro!

@Lucas-fgm It is a website where strangers rate your pictures. They also leave feedback. Just use the "dating" domain of it and upload your pictures. They are annonymous. However people there tend to be too nice so unless you get like an 8.5 on attractivness then do not use it,e specially not as a first profile picture. For profile pic aim for a good 9/10

@Javfly33 I was referring mostly to real life interactions. For online Leo is absolutly right, you need INSANE volume. @Javfly33 @Lucas-fgm Use photo feeler and get some good pics from that. Usually a pic should be at least a 8.5/10 rated for it to work on dating apps. There is this guy indian pua, super average looking guy and still made a good account that gets results. You just need very very good pictures where you look your best. If you are a 5/10 you can boost it to a 7/10 which should be enough to get results. You will probably not get hotties but better than nothing.

I think this is the case only for "hard cases", people with horrible social skills and bad upbringings. I doubt most healthy guys need that amount of action to get themselves a decent girl. The issue is most guys take almost no action, if they took moderate action (which they do not take and is a problem) it would be enough to satisfy them unless they wanted harems or something. None of the player friends i have known needed more than like 100 girls to talk with to get laid couple of times. And most of the "talking" was done online. Bottom line: The worse your social skills are, the more action you will need to take. Also, no need to call ugly girls "garbage". They are human beings with emotions and feelings too. Just say unattractive girls or girls you will not want back idk.

@Carl-Richard These are arguments done by non religious people against LGBT. Religious people just say the holy book says so and thats it.