Karmadhi

I think usually they are not that into me but i manage to get them with my personality, but because my looks are not good enough they cross me out with 1 mistake because they are not into me. Or is this bs?

It is like that man. However when your ghosted/friendzoned after and do not know why you start assuming it is based on that. Everything i said was an assumption. Plus you really think EVERY guy that goes on a date is super confident about it? You are telling me how experienced guys date however most guys are not that. Yet still they get results. I noticed that when a girl really likes a guy she will tolerate a lot of shit from him on a date. She likes him after all. Usually it is because they find the guy good looking. I am not good looking therefore i get hard mode treatment.

Be playful, make jokes and make the whole interaction non-serious. Try to sexualize a bit (not a lot). These 2 should be before starting to escalate. Afterwards start with the hand (it is crucial to sit somewhat within hand reach of her), find some dumb excuse to play with her hand (or she with yours). Build some intimacy physically with the hand. Then you can touch a bit her shoulder also, hug her a bit etc. Super depends but the hand i think matters a lot (idk why). Then when the girl is laughing and in a good mood you look her in the eye for 2 seconds with a smirk and lean in and kiss her. No double guessing. For me it was SCARY AF the first time but now getting the hang of it. Tbh i have never been rejected a kiss or physical touch in general so i do not know what to do in that case.

Actually during the interaction itself i do not think at all about "making mistakes" stuff. I am lost on the moment, it is AFTER the date that i reflect and say ok maybe i made this this mistake.

@Razard86 My vibe is chill and fun so there is nothing i can think of in terms of vibe that could be an issue.

Yes i agree. I have to managed to reach a point where i can confidently escalate and go for a make out with a girl on a first date, something that seemed alien to me 6 months ago. However, i am really off-putted by the harshness i get from girls regarding every mistake i make. You think if i go out on other dates they will be less harsh as long as my performance is around this level?

@something_else I do talk to girls whenever i can. It is not true that i do not as you claim. How do you think i even get dates? Think about it! I said it again, i know more girls than probably most guys around me. So it is not just a "you do not talk to girls issue". It used to be like that until i started talking to them and asking them out and got like 5 dates in 2 months which did not go anywhere. I have 2 of them written out above in details.

I did that for 21 years, did not work. I focused on other things, did not even get 1 date. Meanwhile at least now i can get dates and even first date makeouts even if they will not lead anywhere. "Focusing on your purpose" in itself wont work if your skills suck. Improve your skills, then focus on purpose. ohhh Dude i am not talking about party guys. Believe it or not most party guys i know do not even approach girls. They just have fun with the other 10 people they go with and that's it. Most guys are not party guys. The number of girls i know is arguably the highest out of all my guy friends and higher than a lot of guys i know so it is not just that. Yes, i did not approach 1000 girls but almost nobody does and they still get some result once in a while. I do not. That is what i am saying. I am not complaining why i am not banging 10s every 2 weeks, i am complaining why i have not managed to get a girl to geniounly want to date me despite having talked to probably more girls than those guys that had 1-2 girlfriends during their life so far.

Basically the issue is that i get ruthlessly punished for small mistakes i make. It is not that i am perfect, it is just that a girl is harsher to me than she would be normally. I will write some examples: 1. A girl ghosted me (kinda, did not want to meet me again), just because i did not kiss her on the first date. Now this is obviously a mistake but i still flirted with her, touched her hand a lot, we sat next to each other, i teased etc. I know plenty of guys that did not kiss on the first date and still managed to get the girl as long as they were not just platonic. Meanwhile i did not get a second date. 2. Another girl i actually managed to make out with on the first date, touched her, flirted a bit, teased a lot, talked for quite some time but she made some retarted shit tests and in her mind i failed them and that was enough for her to cast me out. Example: I saw on her phone that the train she would take to go to her city (she lives in a close town) was on platform 4 when we were on the bar. When we are at the train station going to the platform she asks me if it is platform 3. I tell her: "No, it is platform 4". She says: "No, it is platform 3". I repeat, "it is platform 4, i remember well do not worry". Then she says: "I have it on my phone, it is platform 3, i can see it on my phone". Then i am like: "Fine, if it is on your phone it is platform 3". She gets bit frustrated and goes like : "You should be more confident in your opinion, im trying to make you more confident". She says this legit 20 mins after i go in and kiss her with her not giving me any super clear obvious signs, if this is not confident i do not know what is. She accepted my kiss and then kissed me herself. After the first date she friendzoned me harshly. So out of like 3 hour date i "slip up" once even though the overall was good and that is enough for her to frienzone me. The proof that the rest was good was the fact that she actually accepted my kiss and even kissed me back towards the very end. The next big thing that happened on that date after the kiss was this story with the train platform. So i probably got friendzoned because she did not think i was "confident" enough for her just because of this 1 slip. Quite ruthless imo. These are 2 examples out of many. Usually for a first date i go for a drink at a nearby bar/loungue place near the center. Afterwards usually for a walk (the center is quite pretty) and while walking we might get a waffle or something. I am not advanced yet to lead the date to my place but that is on the works. I tend to prefer to fuck on a second date (if i actually would get one) then on the first date (unless i am meeting a girl from tinder or something). During the date, well it depends. General rule is that i make it positive, fun, playful. Also i try to build some rapport/comfort with the girl and find out what she likes, her dreams, what is into etc. I use this also as a way of screening the girl to see if she would be a good fit. After a while i try to slowly escalate with the girl, at first by touching her hand and if she is receptive slowly escalate to the point where i can kiss her. So far escalations have been smooth, never had issues with them nor been rejected a kiss. I do not do heavy makeouts unless i know i can fuck her but i definetly kiss her.

Your standards play a huge role i think also. I think even a bigger role than your "skill". How do you think guys with 0 game still manage to get girls

Most guys i know do not go to parties regularly or they just go for fun but do not approach spam girls. They just meet a girl however and it clicks for them and that's it. Happens naturally, the girl likes them and they start dating. Simple shit. I want that.

Good stuff but already read them. Helpful but not enough @Raze I have actually been friendzoned even if i was more agressive and made moves and shit. Not just from being overly passive which makes total sense. Thanks man, i also feel the same.

Yes i do what 95 percent of guys do and they all get results and i do not. You think 90 percent of guys talk to 5 new girls a week? I am not saying it is not a solution but it is an extreme measure to take which already shows there is something seriously wrong with you. As i said i will try to though.

Really depends on what i am doing at the moment. However what makes me feel bad is not a girl that i just meet and does not agree to go out with me or anything. That matters little to me because i know it is super normal and happens even to the best guys. What makes me feel bad is to go out on a date with someone and then get ghosted/friendzoned or at least talk with them quite a bit with intention of meeting up for a date but nothing happening. I am very empathetic and i make girls feel super close to me. I have had great success in that regard, however it is usually friendly shit which leads to me being a good friend, not someone they would want to be romantically with. I do not have the money atm but might when i start working. I feel like i know enough dating theory, more than 95 percent of guys. The issue lies somewhere else. Thanks for the long list. Helpful! I think i will start doing some daygame on top of what i usually do normally (social stuff and also will try online game with my new pro pics). Maybe daygame twice a week and then also when i am out and about doing my everydayshit, especially now that the weather is getting better and it is warm. I will aim for 10-15 approaches a week usually when i am out and about doing other shit ( i am an active and social person and i often notice a nice girl when im about doing my shit). It should be around 600 girls in a year. If that does not help me than nothing in the world will.

I am not saying i am the best guy out there. However i can confidently say that i see guys that have nothing more than me still get some results with girls but i do not. Of course there are guys that are higher value than me but i get results of a 0 value guy and i geniounly think i am more than that. My standards are very realistic. I do not go for hot girls. I go for cute/decent looking girls. Girls around my looks level, my intelligence level, my social skills level, my ambition level, my confidence level. I do not go for the top girls. Decent would be the best word of what i go for which is also what i probably am. Decent would be a 6/10 if i have to use that annoying numeric scale. When i say 1/1000 i am not talking about approaching and just talking to a girl. I am talking about talking to a girl multiple times and more honestly, going out with her. I have never seen a guy needing 50 dates with a girl to get that girl properly interested in him for long term dating.

@Roy I already have tried to raise my "value", it is never enough. What more can i do? I already go for girls around my league, never for proper hot girls. Just decent girls, i am a decent guy also. I am not ugly nor stupid nor socially akward. Just talk to girls over and over again and go through 1000 heartbreaks until 1 finally goes well? Is this what dating is like for a man?

Hey guys, i wanted to ask this here. I am a natural introvert and even though i have managed to develop quite decent social skills and some extroverted tendencies i always felt like it being a limitation. I had to work super hard to try to match what an extrovert naturally has, and it felt like i had to work harder to develop "what you ought to have for a successful life". I mean what benefits do i get as an introvert compared to an extrovert? Extroverts have it much easier to make friends, get sex/relationships, get good jobs and climb on managerial positions which pay well, and overall tend to be more easy going. I come from a very extroverted culture which sees introversion as something bad. The word "introvert" is literally used sometimes to insult someone when they are being anti-social or cold. This bias really made me subconsciously dislike my introvert nature and feel like i always had to work extra hard to match an extrovert because they naturally have "what matters". So a list of things introverts have good going for them would be appreciated. The only thing i can think off is that introverts are better at introspecting which can allow them to grow themselves more than extroverts can, if they actually decide to. They are better at problem findings within themselves better. Anything else would be appreciated

I bascially have all of those but it is not enough. If only it was that easy...

@Leo Gura I asked because i noticed i get more girls just wanting to fuck me than wanting to date me and having feelings and crushes and shit. So in their mind i am just a cute guy so lets have his dick versus he is a great guy i want him to become my boyfriend and shit. I do not just want to fuck these girls and then they keeping me for sex or just leaving. I see sex as a gateway to love which is what i really want. I want a girl to be like "this guy is amaizing i want to be with him". How do i get that to happen versus "this guy i want his dick but thats it". Will a girl that just wanted to fuck you change her mind after sex and want to properly date you even though at first she did not want to? Is that possible? I ask because that is what i want, sex is of second order importance to me in ITSELF. I am weird i know

I have been told that a girl can fuck you but that is all she wants with you. So a girl either might want to properly date you or just might want your dick. The models you sleep with, do they just want your dick or do they want to properly date you? By properly date i mean you guys meeting again after the sex instead of it just being a casual thing.

I never understood, if game matters so MUCH MORE than looks for guys, then why most of the time (not always), you see guys of the same attractivness levels. So good looking girls with good looking guys and average girls with average guys (looks wise). Any explanations?

So, i have been reading the book "Attached" by Dr Amir Levine, which is about the 4 attachement styles. I have noticed that what often people, especially in the dating advice world, consider "non-needy" behaviour is quite similar to the avoidant style. Waiting days to respond to messages, playing games, trying not to look desperate etc. Meanwhile the secure attachment style tends to be more on the "good guy" category. So stuff like not playing games, being very straightforward, showing interest head on, being a good communicator, etc. A lot of the dating advice out there that i have seen seems to favour the detached avoidant player style over the secure one. The book even calls the secure style "boring" compared to the rest since it will not give high emotional and lows which females tend to be attracted to, in a very toxic way. Esepcailly the anxious ones. So will being an avoidant and so detached only work with anxious females? Is my interpretation wrong? Is this the case? I would really like some opinions on this.

I go to the gym regularly, i am very fit and muscular. It is not an issue of energy in the traditional sense per say. I do not suffer from fatigue or anything like that. It is more that i feel more comfortable to be low energy. By low energy i do not mean not making jokes, not smiling, not laughing or not being expressive. Just being chill.

You develop it through stuff like meditation, contemplation, self-inquiry, reading good books, maybe bit of psychadelics, opening your mind, emotioanl mastery. Stuff like these right?

I have worked immensly on it but no matter how much i work, it is never enough. Most people still see me as a chill, serious but cool and interesting person. It is never enough.