no_name

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Posts posted by no_name

  4. Posted

    1 minute ago, soos_mite_ah said:

    Wouldn't that just be over training?? Your muscles need time to rest and recover in order to build and adjust. I found that for me personally, if I do more than 4 times a week, I tend to burn myself out or get obsessive to where my workouts aren't as good anymore. 3-4 weeks works for me because it gives me some flexibility in my schedule and it lets me listen to my body.  

    You don’t do the same exercise every day for 5-7 days. Plus the way most people exercise looks like a nap anyways, so I don’t know what exactly they are “recovering” from.

     

  5. Posted · Edited by no_name

    @soos_mite_ah if most of your day work/school is sedentary though, working out 3-4 days a week is not enough. You should aim to work out every day for at least an hour (walks don’t count).

    Try doing 5-10K runs (outside) 5-7 days a week and you will be shocked how fast your belly fat disappears if you’re consistent. 

    Workout in a sports bra so you train yourself to flex your belly muscles all the time. Walk straight and keep your belly muscles flexed/belly sucked in throughout the day.

    Try fitness classes as well, some of them can be so much fun you will forget you are working out whatsoever. 

  6. Posted

    5 hours ago, Michael569 said:

    See if living without Instagram, Facebook & Youtube (100% removal of apps and locking of accounts by another person) would help you feel better about yourself one month from now

    I think this is especially important. Instagram makes me go from “hey, there, gorgeous piece of art” to “what’s up you ugly broke Shrek” within a matter of hours. 

    Also, what kind of workouts do you do? 

  8. Posted

    10 hours ago, integral said:

    It's a huge disservice to all women when women don't speak out or report crimes. They need to protect other women from that guy because he's going to do it again.  The first girl didn't report the crime and so the second girl became a victim.

    That’s because women are embarrassed to talk about these things and often even think it’s their fault. That being said, if they truly cared about their friend, they should have told her.

  12. Posted · Edited by no_name

    If there is no bicycle lane on the road, why are cyclists still allowed to go on it?

    If cars are driving at 50-60 km per hour and a cyclist is driving at 15-20 km per hour, is the traffic supposed to slow down all the way behind him?

    If there is no bicycle lane, a car and a cyclist with his fat a*s can’t fit into one lane, so the only choice is to go around him and bypass him going to another lane which is very dangerous or drive slowly behind him. This is especially bad during busy hours. 
     

    Also, car drivers need to pass driving exams and have a valid drivers licence to be on the road and can get tickets. Why aren’t cyclists on the road treated the same way? 

  13. Posted

    1 minute ago, RendHeaven said:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M3CSWLFL5u8

    try music for music's sake :)

    nothing about these sounds suggest that you ought to behave in any specific way in the future lol

    Loooool, this doesn’t work ?, I was hopeful for a few seconds of it, but then those sounds reminded me of puss in boots sword fighting scene and how badass he looked and how badass I can look too ? (I am not making this up ?)

  14. Posted · Edited by no_name

    I don’t know if I can explain this well, and this may sound very crazy and weird, but I really need help to understand this. Whenever I listen to music, I always think about other people. 

    For example, when an EDM song comes up, I would think about working out and posting a fit video (or a makeup video) on Instagram so that some (usually a guy I like) people could see how good I look. Or I think about how good I would like wearing this or that when someone sees me. Or how smart I would look at a work meeting once I do this or that project. Or how wise I would sound when I talk about this book I read/video I saw etc. Just now I was listening to a Harry Potter theme song sitting on my balcony, and the sky looks beautiful here.. yet I start thinking about other people instead of enjoying the moment with me.

    Listening to music always makes me think how I would impress these other people. I was thinking of quitting listening to music forever because of this. I don’t want to care about impressing other people, I only want to live a life for me. Or is it burning though karma thing (I didn’t actually watch Leo’s video on that, but I assume that’s what it is)? Should I just go with that and live my life trying to impress people for some time?  I just think it’s so unhealthy and I really want to connect with me.

  15. Posted

    4 hours ago, StarStruck said:

    You also have to be realistic on what you can attract as a 32 year old woman. It won’t be the same quality man you could attract when you were 22.

    What a bunch of bullshit. When I was 22 the quality of my relationships was at least 100 times worse. There was more quantity because there was no filter whatsoever.. nowadays I wouldn’t even spare a hello to the losers I dated. 

  16. Posted · Edited by no_name

    51 minutes ago, integral said:

    It has a lot to do with going down the path of personal growth and development and from there you'll have a clear vision of the values your looking in another. Then naturally questions ill come to mind and connections will be made about the person. Basically if you don't know what a high quality person looks like how can you identify one? How can we know what a high quality person looks like? We study and practice personal development. 

    But then what ends up happening is that high quality conscious men are pretty rare. Combine that with other people (including men you date) telling you you’re too picky and demanding, what you’re screening for are “shallow things”, or that you’re searching for red flags on purpose, a few negative experiences and you end up settling for a guy who is “not too bad” yet still pretty unhealthy. Kind of like what’s better a sparrow in your hand or a crane bird in the sky? 
     

    So you need to be able to stand your ground and be firm on what you want and keep believing it will show up or settle for less.
     

    If you go for the first option, it does require a strong character, I guess there’s no other choice but not to listen to what anyone else says but only trust yourself, but then how do you grow. I guess you really need to only listen to people who have done amazing things in life and absolutely tune out everyone else. The problem is that dumbest people are the loudest (even on this forum, I mean that’s why I keep asking how old people are because you have 20 year old kids super arrogant and opinionated here talking down to you as if they got it all figured out).
     

    But I guess this is all mental masturbation. There is no shortcut to healthy relationship it’s all about developing yourself.

  17. Posted

    42 minutes ago, integral said:

    No judgment here, I've had and made plenty of terrible decisions when dating. There are all sorts of games people play. In my situation knowing who someone is and where there at happens in minutes. There is no lingering mystery or wondering or piecing to getter a image of who they are. The reason is taking so long to figure them out is because people are blinded by there emotional state and desires. Its self sabotage. + Neediness, insecurities, trauma... 

    i know how they think, what they want and where they are going in life in about an hour conversation and to see right though there mask and games. Because I don't want anything from them. This is what you want to be able to do. Its a state of mind and capacity to asses someone, that is a skill that needs to be developed. 

    I agree, you need to be detached. That is why I don’t think it’s a good idea to get intimate with guys too fast because it will cloud your judgment. Also, not invest too much time into a guy during the “get to know him phase” to remain detached. Lead the date and treat it as an interview, learn to ask good questions. What kind of questions do you ask? How did you develop the skill to asses someone? 
     

    I think oftentimes I lack discipline and break my own rules, I have solid theories, but fail to commit to them in practice. And if I don’t respect my own rules, then how can I expect others people to respect them? It all starts with how I treat myself myself.

  18. Posted

    38 minutes ago, integral said:

    If someone guilt trips you, you end it on the spot, make that a promise to yourself. The issue is its your weakness. If someone pulled these tactics on me it would have 0 effect, so i can handle a bit of it from a partner, but your situation is that its not tolerable and they will exploit it. If someone guilt trips they eater know what they are doing and choosing to do it anyways or lack the self-awareness to see what they are doing. Both cases your dealing with someone who is not mature and you need to end it. 

    But I guilt trip too. How can I expect others not to do it if I do it myself? That would be hypocrisy. I don’t do it on purpose, although sometimes I might, but because it’s a behaviour I learned from my family/culture. I do try to “play” clean though, but I am not always successful.

  19. Posted

    7 minutes ago, integral said:

    i know how they think, what they want and where they are going in life in about an hour conversation and to see right though there mask and games. Because I don't want anything from them. This is what you want to be able to do. Its a state of mind and capacity to asses someone, that is a skill that needs to be developed. 

    How old are you? 

  21. Posted

    On 2022-07-08 at 10:40 PM, puporing said:

    I've moved partially for this reason and it's a very noticeable difference.

    Can you please share where you moved from and to? (You can dm me instead if you don’t feel comfortable sharing here). I am considering moving too, for various reasons, but not sure if my city is bad for finding people to begin with.  

     

  22. Posted · Edited by no_name

    2 hours ago, Raze said:

    The reason a woman states she rejected a guy is not necessarily why she rejected him. She may just not feel any chemistry or feel a bad vibe and can’t describe it so she just picks something random and obvious.

    We are on a self development forum though, I think most women here are willing/are already questioning their own motives and self biases. I just truly don’t understand what Leo meant by “shallow behaviour reasons”. Perhaps I have done it, perhaps not, I can’t say without having some examples of it.

    But I see what you mean, sometimes there is a whole zoo of things wrong with the guy, and a woman will get a general bad vibe, while naming 1-2 random things.

  24. Posted · Edited by no_name

    41 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

    You have to understand that many of the highest quality guys will not make the best/smoothest first-impression. The ones who sweep you off your feet with charm are players who are usually sallow scumbags.

    Notice that the best things in life usually don't leave a great first impression, they aren't sexy or flashy. Learn to assess things based on fundamentals and substance, not surface appearance or first-impressions.

    Yea, that’s true in my experience. Healthy relationships start off “calm” and build over time. I am just not too sure what you mean by “shallow behaviour reasons” then. 

     

  25. Posted · Edited by no_name

    14 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

    often see women rejecting guys for very shallow reasons. Not looks, but shallow behavioral reasons. You gotta look past that kind of stuff to stuff that is fundamental, like character, values, level of development, etc.

    Sorry I still don’t get it. Could you give some examples of shallow behavioural  reasons? You mean if he is not very confident/alpha male/doesn’t know how to sweep you off your feet kind of stuff?