no_name

Loooool, this doesn’t work ?, I was hopeful for a few seconds of it, but then those sounds reminded me of puss in boots sword fighting scene and how badass he looked and how badass I can look too ? (I am not making this up ?)

What a bunch of bullshit. When I was 22 the quality of my relationships was at least 100 times worse. There was more quantity because there was no filter whatsoever.. nowadays I wouldn’t even spare a hello to the losers I dated.

But then what ends up happening is that high quality conscious men are pretty rare. Combine that with other people (including men you date) telling you you’re too picky and demanding, what you’re screening for are “shallow things”, or that you’re searching for red flags on purpose, a few negative experiences and you end up settling for a guy who is “not too bad” yet still pretty unhealthy. Kind of like what’s better a sparrow in your hand or a crane bird in the sky? So you need to be able to stand your ground and be firm on what you want and keep believing it will show up or settle for less. If you go for the first option, it does require a strong character, I guess there’s no other choice but not to listen to what anyone else says but only trust yourself, but then how do you grow. I guess you really need to only listen to people who have done amazing things in life and absolutely tune out everyone else. The problem is that dumbest people are the loudest (even on this forum, I mean that’s why I keep asking how old people are because you have 20 year old kids super arrogant and opinionated here talking down to you as if they got it all figured out). But I guess this is all mental masturbation. There is no shortcut to healthy relationship it’s all about developing yourself.

I agree, you need to be detached. That is why I don’t think it’s a good idea to get intimate with guys too fast because it will cloud your judgment. Also, not invest too much time into a guy during the “get to know him phase” to remain detached. Lead the date and treat it as an interview, learn to ask good questions. What kind of questions do you ask? How did you develop the skill to asses someone? I think oftentimes I lack discipline and break my own rules, I have solid theories, but fail to commit to them in practice. And if I don’t respect my own rules, then how can I expect others people to respect them? It all starts with how I treat myself myself.

But I guilt trip too. How can I expect others not to do it if I do it myself? That would be hypocrisy. I don’t do it on purpose, although sometimes I might, but because it’s a behaviour I learned from my family/culture. I do try to “play” clean though, but I am not always successful.

How old are you?

Could you please give specific examples of emotional stimulation? I see you using that word a lot, I have an idea of what it means, but I would like to get a concrete definition.

Can you please share where you moved from and to? (You can dm me instead if you don’t feel comfortable sharing here). I am considering moving too, for various reasons, but not sure if my city is bad for finding people to begin with.

We are on a self development forum though, I think most women here are willing/are already questioning their own motives and self biases. I just truly don’t understand what Leo meant by “shallow behaviour reasons”. Perhaps I have done it, perhaps not, I can’t say without having some examples of it. But I see what you mean, sometimes there is a whole zoo of things wrong with the guy, and a woman will get a general bad vibe, while naming 1-2 random things.

I am planning on doing my first ceremony too, however, I am scared of throwing up. How was it for you? What was your diet like pre-ceremony?

Yea, that’s true in my experience. Healthy relationships start off “calm” and build over time. I am just not too sure what you mean by “shallow behaviour reasons” then.

Sorry I still don’t get it. Could you give some examples of shallow behavioural reasons? You mean if he is not very confident/alpha male/doesn’t know how to sweep you off your feet kind of stuff?

What do you mean by that? What kind of things are those? Just the looks?

I am really worried about throwing up when drinking Ayahuasca. I’ve been told to eat lightly for 3 days before the ceremony - what does this exactly mean? What should I eat? Should I skip breakfast the day of? I hate hearing other people throw up too, and I hate throwing up myself. Throwing up in a group of people sounds horrible, I think this would make the experience absolutely terrible. Would I throw up if I eat nothing for 3 days? Is there any kind of food I could eat that would guarantee me not throwing up? The only reason I am interested in Ayahuasca in the first place is because I don’t know where to buy psychedelics.

@Devin and women want stability and for men to invest. So how do you reconcile those two polarizing agendas? Don't you see the world is not black and white? Going from one extreme to the other is not wise?

Multiple partners sexually? No. But (for the sake of this argument), multiple partners whom I am detached from and who buy expensive stuff for me? Yes.

Most guys who have experience eventually want what women want. I think eventually one night stands/shallow relationships f*ck you up though.

That is why I use worlds such as “could be” or “majority of”, these are just my observations, but they don’t hold 100% true in all the cases. It’s hard to say without knowing the whole story or what you’re referring to, but I am just giving angles. Also, many times what guys say they want doesn’t correspond to what they want. He could say he wants love to keep having consistent sex, for example. You can only know what the guy (or anyone really) actually wants with time and consistency in his behaviour.

High consciousness doesn’t mean psychologically healthy still. Look at Teal Swan. But there are a lot of scenarios and it’s not a 100% one way or the other. I have observed many other more nuanced scenarios, but I rather not share them because I’ll be judged ?

Lol, I am just giving plausible scenarios as to why they are acting this way. Am I supposed not to analyze the situation and just “yes” you?

I kinda agree with that. Looks is something you are born with, you didn’t do any work for it. What is truly attractive is people who do great things in their life, achieve success, change the world, etc. Of course if the guy is a multi millionaire, but he just inherited money from mommy and daddy, or did one good investment that would be a complete turn off. I think what needs to be highlighted here is where the status comes from. I mean even most men would want to befriend a guy that is building such an amazing life for himself.

Could be that you’re doing a kind of reverse psychology with them with the fact that you don’t want to commit which hurts the male ego - “I am so awesome, who does this woman think she is not crawling after me”. Also, yea, some men do pickup to eventually get a relationship.

Isn’t that what majority of men who are into pickup want? Sex without much of attachment/commitment?

What ends up happening is that women who are ok to sleep with the guy on the same day they meet, are usually very low conscious and/or unaware (sometimes deny) of their female nature and/or psychologically damaged. A large majority of women are not wired to have one night stands, it’s hard to separate sex from love due to female nature. So when you think about it, these women literally do no screening of men before making this intimate connection with them. They presume things about the guy that they can’t possibly know after such a short period of knowing them. That’s why you hear from all the players and fuckboys so often how “women are crazy” - because if the guy is hot/successful/whatnot, these women do end up developing feelings for them (or better say the idea of them) too soon, and start acting clingy/demanding/etc., which surprises the guy since he doesn’t understand female nature as well.

I take social media breaks of about 4-8 months per year. I got my Instagram back early June and since then I feel like my life flew past me without really accomplishing anything. I don’t know if I am highly sensitive, but I can feel myself disconnecting from myself and becoming a 1000 times unhealthier, worried about what other people think and insecure. @Ethan1 unless you use Instagram/social media for work, I recommend you deactivate that sh*t. I guarantee you will be a lot calmer of a person and a lot more put together.