meta_male

Let's say you decided it's not worth it, what would be your alternative?

I suspect you come off as needy to your friends. Would you be open to that possibility? You gotta pay attention to the small details if you want to attract an introvert. Like having the courage to wait for someone to reply without posting twice in a row. This tells me way more about your personality than all the words in your post. If you do that with your friends you will push them away. What activities do you see yourself and your future friend(s) get involved in together?

I used to do the same. Eventually, you'll end up suffering for it.

Yes you should! You guys aren't even contemplating the replies you get. It's like you don't even realise you're reading them.

@machiavelli Anyone can confirm you're right...or wrong. Someone is going to agree with you and yet another person will say you're confused. Who are you going to believe in the end? Let me ask you this: when did you realise you like icecream (assuming you do)? Did you go on the icecream forum asking people whether they can confirm the way you describe its taste is correct?

As a mod you're posting crap like this in a cult thread? Love the irony

@machiavelli I understand you're probably going through some existential crisis and your thoughts are telling you to keep asking more questions, becoming more and more bitter towards Leo, thinking he's owing you an explanation. "If only I'd seen Leo's video, what a shame I missed out! All my questions would have been answered if only I figured this solipsism shit out." The key for you here is to drop this subject and finally end this cycle of thoughts because they will clearly lead you nowhere. Can't you see that by now? If I were you I'd start embracing not knowing and ask myself who or what I am.

@machiavelli Why rely on Leo or a video? I wouldn't get too attached to people giving you answers. If you needed to see it you would have seen it

@machiavelli There is a video on his blog explaining why he took it down...

@Endangered-EGO Hi fellow European. I can only imagine how you're feeling... been through something very similar. Give yourself the permission to not care about whether or not you're an addict. Why do you want to end your suffering? Embrace it, there's nothing wrong with it. Have enough patience and see what happens.

@Stovo I've had a similar experience looking at a close friend when it was dark outside. I looked at him as he was talking to me and instead of his eyes I saw large shadows. Nothing changed but I was unaware that his appearance constantly changed and in that moment it looked like a creature out of a horror movie. It didn't match the image I had of him. That's what scares the hell out of you too. Keep looking and you'll see how badass it gets. If you don't look away you'll understand that what you think you should see is just concept and what you actually see is what's real. You just can't accept the realness of it until you keep looking. You post on the forum to find out what that was, when really you will find out for yourself if you don't close your eyes ? What's right there is what's real.

I think I might be going through a dark night of the soul. I understand it's just a concept but it's the closest I can describe the state of mind I've been in for the past year and a half. Would you recommend letting it do its thing or getting the help of a spiritual coach? If so, can anybody recommend someone from Switzerland? Appreciate your help!

When you say appearance, do you mean consciousness?

@RedLine Cheers, I'll check them out! @Gabith Originally, a poem by St. John of the Cross. It describes a spiritual crisis, which seems to be a transformative, but also dark phase during one's journey. @Goldzilla Thanks for your advice. So, how long have you felt like this? @catcat69123 What is this strong attachment you still have, if I may ask? What makes it impossible for you to see the love?

In my mind I compare physical death to death in the dream world. I've died many times in my dreams, got shot, chopped up, fell down cliffs etc. Each time the movie continued inside this waking state or in another dream. Is it possible to know what's shown when this body dies? Will I wake up in another reality? In the same waking state but in a different timeline? Would I ever remember having been here or coming back and visiting my loved ones? It doesn't seem to work for the dream world. Or does it? What are your thoughts on this?

@nuwu What do you mean?

Reading this, somehow it dawns on me that the me I think I am might no even be there ?

@Mafortu Other TVs being infinite potential?

Hey everyone My perspective about reality is completely different compared to where I was standing half a year ago. I can see that time and matter are just concepts. Realizing this compressed everything down to this very moment. The Now doesn't feel freeing or loving at all though, there's no more space and I feel I'm suffocating inside of it, probably because it's mostly filled with work and exhaustion after work. The other day I felt I was close to a burnout, even though I work less than a couple years ago when I was my happiest in life. Anyone here who has felt the same way on their journey? Appreciate any replies, pointers or recommendations for exercises.

I'll try it out, thanks for your words, bro!

@WelcometoReality I have this intuition that tells me it's ok, yet there are still moments where I just can't seem to see the light/beauty/love. It's definitely quite exhausting! @The0Self @VeganAwake I think I get what you're saying. There's no point talking about it then, I guess. Though the seeking part is quite fascinating... allislove I never got the "if everything's inside you then it can't bother you" argument. Could you elaborate a bit more on that subject? Some things inside me are just plainly annoying and unpleasant. Do you love everything that appears? If so, are there certain things you love more than other things? @AdamR95 I did spend some time in the forest and in the mountains last weekend. It was quite amazing... and refreshing! Thanks for the advice ? In your opinion, why do you think some places make one feel better than others?

Appreciate it, bro! How can I use the pain as a fuel source? And how do you recommend I'd go about finding out what causes it in the first place? I'm sorry to hear about your grandma. How did the sadness about missing out on her funeral help you with self discovery?

Hey dear friends, first post so I'll quickly introduce myself before I get to the actual topic: I'm 28, from CH, grew up in a cult, left by the age of 24, lost my whole social circle, then went through a bad break up, which led me to personal development. Through it, I built up a lot of confidence, made new friends and met a sweet girl who is now my girlfriend. I've been watching Leo's videos on and off for about four years now, just amazing content! One year ago, I had a minor operation, which left me in the most disturbing physical pain I've ever experienced for about three months. It had a big effect on my psyche and I haven't felt any real happiness or excitement ever since. I lost my confidence, became short tempered and unable to fully relax in the presence of other people, few of them I had to off. A couple months back, I got very interested in Spirituality. And so I started doing self inquiry at the beginning of this year. I did notice a change in my awareness after doing some exercises, but at one point it got too much, and so I immediately stopped. Right after that experience, a deep depression came over me, which lasted one weekend. This was followed by ten days of deep peace and a weird sense of clarity during sleep, although I can't really describe what that was like. After this, almost every person I encountered would trigger so much anger within me. Basically, I keep wanting more and more time alone, but I have been unable to fully charge my batteries for one whole year now. I can feel a lot of guilt building up for pulling back from my loved ones. Especially because I don't know whether I need a week or a whole decade to myself. But right now I feel like I can't handle other people, especially the ones I deeply care about. It's sad to see that they want me to be a certain way in order for them to not be worried. I want to express my love towards them, but I'm unable to actually do it. A feeling of me just fading away keeps showing up, and it's kinda like I don't have that much time left to live. It doesn't feel dramatic...more sad and at the same time interesting. This sadness is so paralyzing though. What made this whole situation even more confusing was my uncle's death last week. Even though we were never close, I was overwhelmed by extreme sadness. It's like his death caused me to finally feel into all the emotions I've suppressed in the past. I went through a full week of crying, feeling everyone elses suffering ten times more intense and I just feel totally exhausted now. Two days ago, I went to view my uncle's body. The few minutes I was in that room felt like the most genuine I've ever been in my life. I cried my eyes out, but it was healing and I felt at peace. I can't help but thinking this is fucked up though. Why would I need to be standing next to a dead body to feel like I can truly be myself? I'm really confused about where I stand in life. It's like the whole world, the past and the future got compressed into this exact moment. This leaves me feeling like that's all there is and that there's no point in going anywhere or achieving anything anymore. How would you communicate all this to your partner in a loving way? I love my girl with all my heart but she is worried, since I need so much time to myself, and feeling her sadness just makes me need even more time spent alone. Who can relate to this situation and maybe point me towards the next step, or even just tell me what I might be going through. I'm open to anything.

Thank you so much everyone. This helped a lot.