meta_male

Sadly, this is your mom's story about you and you believed her BS since childhood. Now that you're starting "to prove her wrong" you should see that her model of who you are doesn't match with who you actually are. The good news is it doesn't matter how much trauma you experienced, you can always flip the story around to your liking. There will be a bit of work ahead of you to get through all the ugly mental images about yourself (which were fed to you since birth). Like @Breakingthewall said she might have narcissistic traits. Start by getting familiar with narcissistic family dynamics and you might soon see that you are actually perfectly normal, except you learnt to not express your own truth since it got you into trouble with your mom all your life.

@ivankiss This might actually help for a bit, thanks man!

I can get it up but after a few minutes there's just no point in keeping sex going. What can I do? I stopped smoking weed a couple weeks ago.

@Vrubel It would be better to say you had a nice time and ask when she's free next. Direct and straight to the point. Then you go about your life.

@Vrubel So you're seeking her validation. Women need time for their feelings to develop. Unlike us men who know right on the spot that they want to keep the girl around. Give it a few days until you reach out again to ask when she's free next.

Let her come to you at her own pace. Are you acting needy? Texting her afterwards or let her initiate?

@Osaid Thanks for the links! @hoodrow trillson Rarely while having sex. But then again, it has been some months since then. And now this time I was in my head way too much plus withdrawal symptoms didn't make it easier to relax. And yeah, I noticed me becoming anxious about future encounters, though knowing what the problem is makes me chill out a bit more now. Appreciate the advice. @Eternal Unity I want to avoid it as much as possible, I'll have to find some other ways.

@pinskyforest Cheers for the advice. After some research I realised quitting weed is the main cause, I'm feeling close to zero stimulation. Anyone got an idea what the time frame is until my sex drive goes back to normal? Weeks? Months? I smoked daily the past three years.

Do they love you in a way you feel free to be yourself? I doubt it.

This is where you fucked up. You shouldn't have let this get to you. After all, you're the one who walked back with her, having the opportunity to just focus on having fun. Instead what you communicated was that you got butthurt by some other guys trying to get into her pants. This was actually the perfect chance for her to see what you're made of and whether you have enough emotional strength. But even if her behaviour was a disqualifier for you, you could have used the opportunity to improve your inner game here and make the most out of your night. This will happen again with other attractive girls you're gonna date. Yeah, just another excuse. Had you just sat back, relaxed and laughed off their desperation to flirt with a girl who's on a date with another guy she would have sensed your indifference and her attraction towards you would have grown.

@ivankiss Sounds like she tried to friendzone you...

@Someone here I think it's more of a mental block... Definitely experienced a huge decrease in libido, I could go a while without even jerking off.

Hey bro, I was raised in a cult similar to JW, I can relate to your struggles. I wouldn't talk to them about your insights...keep them to yourself and share them with those who appreciate what you have to share. Don't throw your pearls before dogs. What you need is the exact opposite. You need someone who understands your experience and gives you encouragement. If you don't have anyone around you who does, then it's perfectly fine to deal with all this on your own for now. But make sure you get comfortable socializing with a lot of people on a regular basis so you can get a sense of what type of person you feel safest with. Chances are you don't have enough reference points and stay stuck in suppressive environments because of old beliefs and fear of ending up alone. Perhaps this test can give you a little more insight in how you experience reality and act the way you do: https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test

@flowboy This is a real gem, thank you ? I just did one session before and bawled my eyes out.

@Romer02 That's an illusion

@Romer02 I'm currently in the same boat, bro. Are you dating other girls or just her?

Trying to get him to pursue you.

It would be fair if you were open with him too instead of playing games.

Just let him know you'd appreciate him taking you out on a proper date and then seduce you. Tell him what turns you on so he doesn't have to guess and then you'll see if he's really into you.

Your mind tells you women don't dig spiritual guys. I'd question that belief

He's pushing all your emotional buttons without you being aware. You didn't say much about what you REALLY like about him. Most men actually pursue and it leaves them with a broken heart...

This is just your mind coming up with reasons as to why she might not like you. Sometimes girls just pull back, doesn't mean they're ghosting.

Good! It's wise to not force anything. Play it cool and don't lose your shit. Let her choose you.

@LordFall Because I used to let women steer the direction of my life and it went shit. For now what gives me the juice is socializing and finding my LP. @Emerald I can relate to this. I don't understand what you mean by spiritual urge though...can you elaborate?

Yes and I wish it wasn't so.