meta_male

Never said it wasn't

This would be insane. Missing out on life for one person who isn't even guaranteed to wait for you.

There's a guy in our friend group...extremely extroverted, happy, smiling, chatting up people. But he's anything but killing it. He's more of a child than a man who gets a girl wet, so there's more to it than feeling good.

This guy's advice works really well if you want to attract the most shallow, immature and toxic women. This is an indicator that you might have been gaslit. Your confidence was crushed by this girl, she probably was pretty good of putting on an act and playing the victim and exploiting your neediness. It doesn't matter if this girl was a narcissist or not, she treated you like shit.

This is out of your control at this point, you gotta let it sting for a while. Don't try to get back with her even though there's a ton of advice on how to to so. Chances are zero to none for it to ever work out. Wishing you the best!

Yes, this is an illusion. The trick is to stay positive no matter what...it's your only shot long term.

@Yimpa Not even on his last legs anymore.

You feel like she owes you respect.

Yes totally outdated, even people with kids don't get married anymore here. It's wishful thinking to assume you're together for the rest of your life because of marriage.

I might have a personal bias with the label "good guy". But basically that's what I meant when I said you don't view the bad boys as bad, wehereas us men tend to see it differently. It's not easy to strike the right balance between edgy and caring.

It really depends on what you text them. If she's eager to talk to you then just tell her she still owes you a response in a lighhearted way, but don't act like nothing happened.

Your view of society can change depending on what information you consume. I live in the Western world and it's not being demonised as far as I've observed. It just takes a good leader...becoming one is the difficult part.

Your best shot is to find someone who's open minded and teach her how to enjoy the dream, don't force it.

Yeah, I didn't mean the jerks. Edgy would probably be a better word than bad. The good guys will listen to you talking about emotions, but in an emergency situation, they'll panic or run...there's no love in that.

A man has to start somewhere though. You love the bad boys, you just don't view them as bad because they make you feel safe...

How do you think it ruined your life? Anything specific? Maybe poor choice in hobbies?

I'd even say that being anything other than a "bad boy" isn't very high conscious.

Maybe be open minded about how far you're taking your open mindedness. It leaves you with poor reasoning like being convinced one girl isn't enough for you because you have a ton of porn on your phone. You need to explain how you came to this conclusion. Also, why so worried about getting judged?

@FourCrossedWands Is reality really as consistent as it seems? Have you ever seen someone's face the exact same way twice? Same facial expression, same light, same shades, same color, same angle, same perspective?

Of course I can. Through you. You looking at the code right now is me looking at it.

The hardest part for me was becoming conscious of my own BS.

It could definitely make you feel a little more safe. Just owning a gun won't protect you much though. So, unless you're willing to put in time and energy into shooting, cleaning and maintaining your gun there's no point. It would be better for you to address your anxiety of losing your life. Your mind is fabricating very unpleasant stories around that.

The main difference to other countries is in the US the assumption is that every citizen has the right to own a gun, wheras in other countries you need to earn the right to own one. If you do some research you guys are doing better than we do in the mental health department.

Sounds more like she was trying to get into his pants initially...

Listen to your gut when being around people. The way you feel after spending time with them should tell you enough about wether you should keep them around or not. Tell yourself it's fine even if you were to fall for another trap here. Ultimately it comes down to learning not to give your power away to others. Which will go a long way when trying to look for quality friends.