meta_male

5 times? How is this quitting?

Seems to me the sacrifice is going without intimacy for longer than feels tolerable with no guarantee it ever pays off.

Get two – one on each foot. @Natasha Tori Maru Thanks for the clarification, I get where you're coming from now. It read as "I've had my social life. You haven't. You'll understand when you're older." I hope we all know there's issues, just not always as easy to pinpoint. Curious though, what exactly are you saying us introverted guys are being ignorant about?

This is not how not meaning to be condescending works though... @Hardkill So you're not really asking where to meet women...you're asking if it's still valid to meet them in the nightlife scene?

Not everyone's either a sex-chasing-extrovert-chad or an enlightened-socially-detached-introvert-monk. @Hardkill You don’t need to go all in on cold approach or force yourself into the nightclub scene if it's not your thing. Just start small. Talk to someone at the gym, café or wherever. Train your social muscle casually while you finish your degree. Also, half of it is timing and luck anyway. You’ll never feel like your life is fully in order...waiting for that moment is a trap. Leo’s got a point. Just not one that applies to 99% of people in this forum section.

@Asia P Yeah, that space between wanting to give love and having nowhere worth putting it is brutal. The whole ‘wait vs. search’ thing... it's like both can rot you over time if you’re not careful. Waiting feels like a joke. Searching feels like a joke.

Dear me: Enjoy minigolf. Soon you'll pray to be someone else. And ditch the plastic sandals – where you're going, you'll need to strap on real boots. I promise it'll be worth it. Big thanks to the forum and a salute to the silent readers. I was aiming the wrong way for years. The gun's still loaded. But this time, I shoot to be seen. 👉💥

Just throw yourself in the cold water. No amount of preparation will make it less scary.

Bro.

Translation: I hate when people show up louder than me. Not everyone who does youtube is a narcissist, some just aren’t cowards.

Writing my thoughts down helps me seeing the bigger picture later. I'm still run by panic when silence hits, even brief moments. My mind spirals. And yet, I don't panic in situations that should literally wreck me. No idea why, but anyways... Challenge 1: Deal with laying the bike down again after a crash only a few days ago. Instinct: Stand up. Kill switch. Lift 200 kg. Assess damage. Ride on. Mind: Nice sunset. Body: Feels good. Got laid (technically). Challenge 2: Go half a day without female validation. Instinct: Freeze. Victim mode online. Mind: What in the fuck just happened? Abort mission. We're gonna die. Body: Tense. Balls turning blue just by looking at them. Next challenge: Reframe the tension. From What the fuck is wrong with women? to What I want is rare and I won't settle. From She better step up or she's dead to me. to She's not it. Keep going. From Fuck it, I'm done. Probably gotta start fucking prostitutes. to Yeah, I'm horny and tired. But I won't betray my values.

I'm fucking tired of holding myself back from online dating. What on earth even possessed me to go down that route? Why the fuck does it always have to be the high road for me? To wait for something "real"? To prove to myself I'm "above the game"? I could be dating and sleeping with girls, but instead I force myself to starve... and then complain about it online. Sometimes I think I’m punishing myself on purpose. I don’t even know what for. The idea of some God watching and judging is still imprinted in my brain. They don’t need chains when they’ve carved obedience into your spine.

Look at it this way: the guy acted like a scared douche, and you still showed him kindness... by not tearing him into pieces. That’s power, not weakness. It's just rare cause most people are scared little shits and yep, it's annoying as fuck.

@Applegarden8 Nah, why blame Leo? It's just reframing uncertainty. So really it's "until renewal might or might not take us apart." Not saying that marriages work great either, but this one isn't genius. @Princess Arabia Yeah. I'm starting to think spirituality and philosophy are just distractions from actually doing life. People would rather debate ‘being’ than get their hands dirty building something and making hard decisions. The mind is sneaky like that

@Sugarcoat Thank you, appreciate it!

@Applegarden8 It’s like saying you want to sign a lifelong contract but re-evaluate whether you want the lifelong contract every "x" years. How do you people even come up with such shit? 😂

Cause part of me wants intimacy, and part of me doesn’t even know why I don’t want it. Right now I just feel more drawn to focusing on my own stuff.

@Schizophonia They flirt because they like the attention, not because they actually want anything with me. And even if they do get attracted, it doesn’t feel worth escalating. It doesn’t feel grounded in anything real. But then again, I’m not even sure I want to go after another relationship. Just complaining. 😅

Went out with a group of girls on Friday. Two of them were single. Six of them wanted my attention. The more I meet women, the more I’m disgusted by them, which I find kinda hard to admit. Same empty games. Same hollow flirting. Same need to feel wanted... not that I didn't like it or am above it. I'm not sure if I'm seeing the ugly truth or I'm just having a bad day.

Refreshing to see someone who gets it. @Something Funny If you wanna go the dating app route and don't have any photos or friends who take good photos: Joby GripTight One + phone + some practise is all you need.

Real talk though: the easiest hack is to have something in your life more compelling than trying to get a girlfriend. But yeah, it sucks because you can’t control when it works.

@Something Funny Because someone has to balance out the fairytales.

Absolutely! If you close your eyes real tight and believe, she will eventually knock on the door and jump on your lap.

You want a quick fix but even the quick fix needs effort. No way around it.

@Kalki Avatar No bro, you don't understand. It feels better to blame the universe than to admit you froze or were unprepared. You're romanticizing these encounters because they let you indulge in fantasies of "what ifs" without having to risk anything. How do you know you came across the perfect woman for you just because she walked her dog and said hi? Because you didn't have to do anything. And it sounds like that's the pattern you get lost in.