meta_male

Try this: https://nomadtable.app/

There's a difference between accepting uncertainty and seeking psychological damage. You do not need to traumatise yourself to grow. Actual growth does not require being emotionally destroyed, that's spiritual masochism. Emotional overwhelm and trauma is not needed for insight. Women cheat, men cheat, so how come YOU don't cheat? Can you see from that alone that there are women who don't cheat as well? Plenty of people have a secure attachment style, work towards developing that yourself. You definitely don't need an ego death for this. Learn to feel deeply without using other people to regulate and stabilize you, go to therapy if that's not otherwise possible, don't drag this step out forever. That alone will put you in a much better position to meet healthier people. You can't think your way out of your current worldview.

https://www.reddit.com/r/Minneapolis/comments/1qlyj9h/i_did_my_best_to_stabilize_the_video_you_can/

Check out this youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@AddictionMindset

@Carl-Richard Being sober changes you much after years of consumption.

@Carl-Richard Possibly. Many of them say it doesn't affect them much, myself included. But it does.

@LordFall How's your social life? What's the reason you've tried quitting?

I felt this in my bones. My mind does shit like that too. Good work bro.

Yep, did civil service too. It did have value, but in hindsight it was just too soft and easy. To make up for it I now drink mud, skip deodorant and use pepperspray.

I regret not saying yes to naughty girls in church. Big mess up. Also, this one keeps coming back: not doing military service.

Something heaps of people learn the hard way: the more you chase something, the more it slips away. Some go through the "steep learning curve" of pickup, get frustrated, trying different approaches, get depressed. Until something finally clicks and they can relax and be themselves. Others skip the this chase by focusing on themselves, practice self love, and after a lot of struggling finally relax. In both cases the key seems to be letting go of the outcome instead of trying to control it with “A game.” Also there's people who have no clue what they're doing, feel free to ask me.

Like I said.

@theleelajoker Sure, that can happen and I agree that roles can be fluid. But in early dating with low emotional investment the initiative usually comes from the person who wants the date to happen, momentum doesn't create itself. Waiting passively and judging in silence is more avoidant than balanced.

Exactly. She replies politely, is waiting for the next step and instead of leading he goes “fuck this!”

There is no need for conversations via text. Next time call the girl and make plans.

This. Set a date and then get off the phone. No relationship vibes like "how did you sleep" etc., girls get that all the time from guys, it's a weak frame. Only text with intent.

Give yourself some time to heal and get comfortable with not knowing. Notice how when you had a girlfriend that certainty was mostly an illusion. You will have a girlfriend again but no relationship removes uncertainty. That's just one narrative and not a very accurate one, it's mostly anxiety speaking.

If true, he didn't just sleep with 200 women, he slept with 200 labels he imposed on reality. Reality bends to his words, but he literally pays the price with his own bones. And instead of money, these women accept his looks as payment...selling part of themselves for emptiness that's just as hollow as cash. What young men observe isn't that deep. It's only the surface of a profound and self destructive law at work.

You're mixing up flirting with tactics like negging and other strategies. Techniques can still be objectifying, even if socially acceptable. When the frame is "how do I manipulate her emotions to get validation/sex" that comes from insecurity and women feel it immediately. First tongue, then lips. Depending on the length of your tongue, you can also skip the step toward her.

"You have no game." – NoSelfSelf

It's a matter of perspective. For some guy going on a date feels impossible. And someone else reading this is probably thinking: I can’t even say I’ve ever slept with a girl. There's always someone ahead and someone behind.

Looks obviously do matter, but they're not fixed. It's more nuanced than that. You get a "base look", but what really matters is what you do with it. Grooming, fitness, style, confidence and status can change how you look to others.

What does that actually mean? Are you talking about individual self defense or some kind of resistance? Against trained forces with intelligence, logistics, drones, vehicles etc. How would this realistically play out without you ending up dead or imprisoned?

You can't know whether you're wasting time by analyzing how often she texts, smiles or waves. The only way to find out is by setting a date (day, place, time) and then if you like her you kiss her. You don't know if you're wasting time before that, it's speculation. Yeah that's one perspective. Another is that you're ahead of a lot of men because you're actually risking rejection instead of avoiding it. Don't measure yourself against someone else's timeline, just take the next step in front of you.