Proserpina

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Posts posted by Proserpina

  1. Posted · Edited by Proserpina

    Does ego and no ego attract? 

    Masculine is 'egoic' according to Eckhart Tolle.  Feminine is less egoic, and instead has a stronger painbody.

    Attraction based on differing strengths and weaknesses. 

    No ego - agreeableness

    No Painbody - Low neuroticism

    I know for myself,  working on myself spiritually attracts the masculine.  

    . 

    Masculine likes to dominate and determine the connection but attraction ultimately determines the connection in the end IF the feminine can withhold and stop giving all her charms away so easily like she does.  Withhold, develop spiritually, withhold, develop spiritually, withhold.

    .

    I wonder because I'm pretty feminine and I'm attracted to....some questionable things.  Most women can't help but be attracted to the calm asshole.  Maybe that's not a developmental issue on her side but the way the feminine is made up, to be attracted to her opposite (ego + no painbody).  

    I always imagine the ideal feminine to be without ego.  And the ideal masculine to be without a painbody. 

  2. Posted

    When I 'was crazy' or was in mystic state there were themes. I could not escape these themes.  I could not outrun them.   It was like a fractal, everywhere I turned,  there they were.  The themes were heavily tied to karma and right or wrong action.  The lessons I was learning and what I had yet to learn.  It was all a different angle of the same theme.  

    Themes that were especially significant were lessons I kept repeating and would not learn.  The consequences and theme became more and more severe as I failed to learn the lessons. 

    Themes (I can remember): 

    Allowing my father and mother to abuse me

    Hell- Being riddled in pain and rage for years instead of taking steps

    'Imprisonment' by my parents.

    .

    Everyone was either my mother or father for example.  

     

     

     

  3. Posted · Edited by Proserpina

    I think that gap may be at the root of my physical illness.  And also The Room in my house that I currently own.  It's all related.  The darkness dissolves when the gap is resolved and vice versa.  The psychological is the paranormal.  

    I can't step foot into my own house I currently own because there are footsteps and because of The Room. 

    Pathetic. 

    Get a grip, Eva. 

    There's a beautiful smell in my house too.  I hear my mother's footsteps, the way she would put on her makeup.  The house is haunted by her energy.  

    At night in my dreams I resolve to relax and make love to the darkness.  My fear feeds it.  Appreciation and relaxation heals me. 

  4. Posted · Edited by Proserpina

    @Loba Thank you.  I make major mistakes within my journal writings and understanding.  I have very high standards for myself as my recently deceased mother was a master and I feel can never reach her level, nor the people I'm drawn to naturally.  There is a massive gap as Abraham Hicks might say.  I come from a family of wide difference.  My father and mother have vastly different intelligence.

    I also read your writings.  You are quite an interesting person. 

  5. Posted · Edited by Proserpina

    I saw another scene today of a van and a man working with drills as I was walking near by.  It was like a cardboard cut out.  Not real.  A scene I had created in my mind and was being projected outward.  

    I've been hearing sounds recently. Cars driving by, keys rattling, footsteps - all cartoonish, all digital like.  Cardboard cut outs. 

    A voice used to speak to me visually when I would see all the cardboard cut outs.  It would explain that we were building together, constructing a world of our own.  The voice went away with the medication.  Maybe it'll come back one day.  It would make me laugh. 

    I don't know if they are 'entities' or if I have abilities.  It could be law of attraction, maybe the voice is me. Idk, I'm just an ignorant little stage Green fool trying to make sense of the world.  I don't have the turquoise brilliance and understanding I see so often on this forum.  

    Keeping an open heart through my foolishness is difficult as hell.  I would much rather be a cold, asshole like my Dad who suffers from a similar fate.  I am not smart, and never will be, I'm not built that way.  Being vulnerable and transparent when everything that comes out of my mouth is not smart is brutal. 

    .

    Anyways I'm not here to be smart, I'm here to be practical.  ISFP, afterall.  Any theory is at service to the practical objective of healing and getting back on my feet and returning my independence (getting off the meds). 

     

  6. Posted · Edited by Proserpina

    Path of mastery: an open heart

    I pursue an open heart at any and all costs.

    Why do I stay open at the cost of survival and heartbreak? 

    Connection with reality.  Primary.  

    Beings with loving perception

    Love infusion

    .

    Primary service is to truth and reality.  

    .

    To access and create with my own love when I am needy and hopeless. 

     

  7. Posted

    15 hours ago, Tyler Robinson said:

    I usually get along with ENFPs. 

    My last bf was that. I usually get along with most MBTIs. It depends on their level of emotional intelligence across the board. 

     

     

    Cool.  I think ExxPs and IxxJs, ExxJs and IxxPs get along in general.  Although I've yet to meet an ExxJ other than NT I get along with well. 

    INTJs are easy to get along with.  ISFP and INTJ are supposed to be compatible. 

     

  8. Posted

    On 08/08/2022 at 9:46 AM, Loba said:

    I'm an INFP, and I have found I get along best with NF and SF types, and don't do very well with thinking personalities.  Anyone that I have been very super close to, as a friend or otherwise was an NF, usually ENFPs.  I value emotions and the feeling of bonding that comes with sharing emotions and thinking types generally don't express or have very strong senses of emotion, and I get bored having to dig around for them, assuming they have any to begin with.  And what's there is generally very juvenile and often not very well formed, and so I get embarrassed and turned off by their sloppy displays of feigned emotional depth.

    I like them when you want to do something exciting, or if you need an informative essay spewed at you - they're good for that, I suppose...

    But with other feeling types, you can just 'get' one another, without words needing to be said, if you feel the same thing, you can speak through the heart and there's something irreplicable and magical about that.  I love being on the same page emotionally with people.

     

    Yeah,  I only get along with thinkers who have developed feeling or high compassion or who are considerably high up on the spiral.  

    NFs, especially INFPs, are similarly majestic as NTs. They're like special little creatures I want to keep as a collection.  Each unique and gifted.  Not to be creepy.  

  9. Posted · Edited by Proserpina

    I am attracting beings with loving perception.  

    I am attracting beings with loving perception.  

    I am attracting beings with loving perception.  

    Etc. 55×5 times.  Visualize a being with loving perception. 

     

    Worked for me twice now.  But you also want to do it everyday even if it's only for a few seconds.

    It technically works immediately but it takes time for it to stick and for it to not only be within imagination.  

  10. Posted · Edited by Proserpina

    Summary:

    A being who leans forward can visualize a being leaning forward to trigger leaning back.  Leaning back will trigger leaning forward in people in real life. 

    'Entities' = beings that lean forward

    Clean perception/ being perception - leaning forward, love

    'God' - leaning back

    .

    Polarities:

    Paradox effect- teal swan

    Running- chasing

    masculine- feminine

    God- Love

    Narcissist- empath

    Detached- Attached

    Avoidant- Anxious

    Service to Self- Service to other

    Orange- Green

    .

    Progression:

    Green to yellow

    Empath to super empath

    Service to other to mature Service to other

    Anxious to Anxious- avoidant/ secure

    Love to God and Love

    Attached to attached-detached/ secure

  11. Posted

    I know it's true because I know, see and enjoy the process, even if I've lost some capacity (peak and valley lifetimes).  I don't care if it's true or not because I enjoy the process of being surrounded by half angels (as a half angel), surrounded by love and infused with love.  That's what I call magic, personally.  

    But you have to be a loving individual to access your own love and create from your own love.  

  12. Posted

    How does Magic work?

    I would say it has a lot to do with the mechanism of self love.  Self love or healthy grandiosity in a spiritual individual will create 'magic'.   'Spiritual energy' can also build up without self love. When 'inactive' there is a build up and a release.  It can take aeons for release or to peak, IF it ever does.  You don't do it for the release.  When there is a release stars align and 'magic' occurs. 

    Also you can chase this phenomena down.  The  more magic you experience, the more you experience. However the more shoe mechanisms will activate.  Hence why I said the crazy card was your card in.  

    I'm aware of that when you activate it mechanisms are released called 'shoes' that make sure the current reality's solidity is maintained.

  13. Posted · Edited by Proserpina

    3 hours ago, Someone here said:

    You just Said that it's possible. But you didn't explain how. 

    I do know that it's possible..I believe magic is a real thing..but we haven't yet understood all the hidden secrets of the universe to know how it works. 

    Sorry,  I'm not sure how it works.  All I'm aware of is that when you activate it mechanisms are released called 'shoes' that make sure the current reality's solidity is maintained. 

    I would say it has a lot to do with the mechanism of self love.  Self love or healthy grandiosity in a spiritual individual will create 'magic'.   'Spiritual energy' can also build up without self love. When 'inactive' there is a build up and a release.  It can take aeons for release or to peak, IF it ever does.  You don't do it for the release.  When there is a release stars align and 'magic' occurs. 

    Also you can chase this phenomena down.  The  more magic you experience, the more you experience. However the more shoe mechanisms will activate.  Hence why I said the crazy card was your card in.  

  16. Posted · Edited by Proserpina

    What people don't realize is that the negatives of 'schizophrenia', for me atleast -- although I'm sure it's the same for many others, are relatively few and far between.  I explore the negatives in this journal but to simply attribute 'schizophrenia' with psychosis is a gross exaggeration.  I've had 13 months or more of non dual experiences (sometimes with entities) and only 4 months of psychosis.  Psychosis is far less an experience for me than love and oneness.  And I'm sure it's the same for many others like me.  

    I sense 'mental illness' is now in the collective shadow of this community, hence why I feel uncomfortable, ever since Leo basically disowned us in his newest video.  And of course the collective will follow.  

  19. Posted

    Transmission still happens, especially as time and space breaks down.  It might not be just an interpretation, it might be that time and space has actually broken down.  

    I don't know.   

    All I know is I'm really uncomfortable talking about this.  Too much stigma. 

  21. Posted · Edited by Proserpina

    People somehow believe it is optional for me to believe in entities.  My 'condition' will most likely worsen over the years, I can feel it.  Cutting off the reality of the entities is possible, I've done it before but only after the momentum has slowed.  There may be times when that is not possible and I need to know what to do in that situation.  Denying an aspect of reality will only make it much harder at that time, even if that aspect is ultimately just a belief.  Some beliefs can be very powerful, the light cannot overcome it. 

    Any communication (with entities) is not personal.  My identity has shifted to the Infinite at that time but not entirely.  It seems like 'others' are entities, as an interpretation.  It can become more than an interpretation with belief.  

  22. Posted · Edited by Proserpina

    The light is more powerful but you have to take a holistic approach.  Entities do not enjoy being burnt/healed too severely.  If you dissolve beliefs too quickly other beliefs will crop up and can be disabling -- I wasn't able to eat for example (food would taste bad when I would apply light too strongly).  There has to be a middle way. 

    There are nuances to this stuff.  

  23. Posted · Edited by Proserpina

    25 minutes ago, Razard86 said:

    You know I love you but that's the point I'm saying reality literally works off your identity. You can be too open as well. Watch this video by Mooji, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2qsI92OCg4I

     

    once you take something on and put your attention on it you can give it power. There is nothing more powerful than you. Nothing. 

    That is the whole point of the Spiritual Path, that is what psychedelics teach. Notice this one thing, everything you been through...you are still here. So where is the danger? People who have had the worst bad trips ever, some people basically got transported to Hell. I remember Leo said he heard someone got strapped to a chair and was tortured. Guess....what? They are still here. We only suffer our perception of an event. 

    Pain is a sense of the body, and pain is an emotional fear. Notice they come and go. This means they are not permanent but impermanent. How can something that comes and goes, be greater than the source it arises from which never comes and goes but is always there? 

    The problem is we get lost in those sensations....and then when it leaves...we think about when it will come back thus creating the sensation again. We can do this for eternity.

    This is why I say you are always in control, even when you believe you are not. Why? Because you are always here...always.

    These words are nice and all but when you are actually in the situation where you are sensing hellish phenomena it's best to take many approaches.  I was taught to physically remove myself from a situation for example even though the light can overcome everything.  I would remove objects, absorb energy,  take in useful information (warnings, premonitions etc.) that I would otherwise have discounted if I assumed the light to be more powerful than anything else.  This phenomena can be exceptionally sticky, so why not take as many approaches and perspectives as possible. 

  24. Posted · Edited by Proserpina

    21 minutes ago, Razard86 said:

    The one thing I do know and you agree is that your reality is filtered through your beliefs. I'm just showing the OP that if people can heal themselves with belief, they can curse themselves as well. I also showed that a quote on quote healer cannot heal you against your will. So what is the common denominator with healing? Your belief. If that wasn't a sign that you are God....I don't know what else is.....

    I do agree but it's not that simple.  There are other factors.  If you don't take into account these factors and be open to other causes you'll be taken on a ride.  You have to take into account useful angles to consider.  Openness was my most helpful quality.  A cursed object can be many things: a warning, a concentrated opportunity to heal the collective, a possessed object -- something to be isolated.  If you treat it from one angle only you potentially see reality from a very narrow and scewed way and then can't act in the best interests of everyone.